My Mother
by EsmeAmelia
Summary: COMPLETE. AU fic: The dying Padme is frozen in carbonite and discovered by Leia years later. Luke, Leia, Han, Padme story complete.
1. Chapter 1

"My Mother"

By EsmeAmelia

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Star Wars or any of its characters - this is just a weird AU idea that came into my head.

Chapter 1

Padme could feel herself fading. Her center of consciousness was sinking down inside her head; her vision was blurring; her breath was weakening. She was barely aware of the medical droid reaching inside her and pulling out a small crying figure.

"It's a boy," Obi-Wan declared.

Padme struggled to get her eyes open enough to see her newborn son, but it seemed that her eyes would not obey her command. Flashes of him entered her eyes as she blinked rapidly. Her mind flew through her memories, fiercely trying to remember what she and Anakin had decided to name their baby if it were a boy.

"Luke..." she whispered.

A second wave of pain rushed through her body, and again she was fading. It seemed as though she was rushing somewhere between the living and the dead, that she was at that dreary, empty place in the middle. But suddenly, another baby's cry briefly drove her back to full consciousness, the reflex action of a dying mother.

"It's a girl," said Obi-Wan.

Padme forced her eyes open to get a good look at her daughter, and this time, her eyes complied. Her eyes met the tiny eyes of the baby, and for a long, lingering moment, they simply stared at one-another, letting their souls touch. An invisible connection seemed to pass between them, a wordless understanding of their special bond as mother and daughter. In the eternity contained in that fleeting second, death was unreal, pain was unreal, suffering was unreal, all was unreal except for the warm innocence in the child's eyes.

"Leia..." Padme finally whispered.

Her thoughts slipped again, slipped to her husband, her husband who was now evil. A memory came into her head, a memory of his kiss, his kiss filled with pure love and passion. The person who had given her that kiss was now gone forever, and yet her barely-conscious mind was refusing to believe it. Her soul was begging the dark side to let him go, begging him to return to her the way he was.

"Obi-Wan..." she murmured, "...there is still good in him..." With that, consciousness completely left her.

Obi-Wan held the baby boy in his arms as he watched Padme sleep, sensing her growing weaker by the moment. He tried to reach out to her with the Force, tried to find a way to heal her, but how could he heal her when it was unclear what was wrong with her?

He turned to face Bail Organa, who was cradling the baby girl - clearly he was growing quite attached to her. "Do you think she can survive?"

Bail continued to look down at the infant. "She's premature, but she appears to be strong and quite healthy."

"Not the baby," Obi-Wan snapped with more than a hint of annoyance. "The mother."

Bail finally looked up with a solemn expression on his face. "I don't think so," he said with a heavy sigh.

Obi-Wan turned to the medical droid. "Is there nothing you can do to save her?"

The droid seemed to hesitate. "Well...there is one thing we could try, but it is a very risky process."

"What?"

The droid seemed to hesitate again, as though he was actually contemplating the usefulness of his idea. "Carbon freezing," he finally said. "It is not usually used as a medical procedure; rather, when it is used with the living, it is most often used to transport prisoners, but there is a small possibility that it might save her."

"How?"

"If the procedure is carried out successfully, it will put her into a state of hibernation," the droid explained. "All her bodily functions will slow down to their minimum level, sustaining her life, but barely. It is possible for people to remain in hibernation for months, or even years. In a few rare cases, terminally ill people have been carbon-frozen and then reawakened when a cure for their illnesses was discovered."

Obi-Wan's eyes widened. "I'm afraid I still don't understand. Didn't you say that there was nothing wrong with her physically? How can you find a cure when there seems to be no disease?"

"In this case, finding a cure would not be the purpose," the droid continued. "If she is put into hibernation for a few days, and then reawakened, the stimulation from coming out of hibernation would disturb the process of her death, and thus she would be out of danger. But, as I said earlier, the freezing process is very risky. Many have not survived it. There is a very strong possibility that the freezing would kill her." He turned to face Padme's body. "But if we do nothing, we are definitely going to lose her."

Obi-Wan gazed over at the dying senator. She moaned slightly, and her lips silently seemed to be mouthing out a word Obi-Wan didn't need Force powers to make out. The torturing dreams of her husband were slowly overtaking her, slowly killing her. And yet, her perishing body was still showing youth, showing a future, showing that it needed to live.

"All right," Obi-Wan finally said. "Do it."

As Padme's still-unconscious body was lowered into the freezing chamber, Obi-Wan felt pangs of regret. Why had he agreed to subject her to this experiment? He didn't know much about carbon freezing, but he could sense that it was not painless. As she was frozen, Obi-Wan felt jolts of intense pain from her body. Her body seemed to be silently screaming in anguish, screaming for it to end. Obi-Wan's breath quickened. What had he done?

Finally Padme was lifted out - or rather, a carbonite box with Padme's shape sticking out of the top was lifted out. Obi-Wan could no longer feel her pain, but he could no longer feel anything else from her, either. No thought, no feeling, no life at all. Nothing.

"The freezing procedure was a success," the medical droid was saying. "She's in perfect hibernation."

Obi-Wan struggled not to tremble as he looked down at Padme's frozen face cast in the carbonite. "And now what?"

"We wait," said the droid. "We keep her here for a day or two to allow her body to grow accustomed to the hibernation, and then we reawaken her, and hopefully that will set her back to normal."

Obi-Wan continued to stare at Padme's carbonited form, still in disbelief that he had actually allowed this to happen to her.

"You and Senetor Organa should take the children to a wet nurse if they are to survive these few days without their mother," the droid instructed.

Obi-Wan managed a small nod. "You're right. I'll be back in two days for when you reawaken Padme."

Padme was stored in a chamber underneath the medical ward, where she would not disturb any of the living patients or take up any space where the patients in more dire need could go. The medical droids planned to reawaken her two days after her freezing, when she would be reunited with Obi-Wan and her children and they would then find a safe hiding place from Darth Vader.

But unfortunately, they did not plan on Darth Vader attacking the medical ward the very next night.

The next morning, what little was left of the ward looked like a war zone. The broken bodies of droid and patient alike littered the floor. None were spared: not the young, the old, the strong, or the weak, for the man formerly called Anakin Skywalker could no longer discriminate. Word had gotten out that the senator Padme Amidala had been at that medical ward the previous day, but the reason why she was there remained a mystery, except for the few who were hiding her children. Although her body was not found among the rubble, it soon became widely believed that she was dead. Neither Obi-Wan nor Bail Organa knew about the underground chamber where she had been placed, so in time, they too began to believe that Padme was dead.

As the years went by, an Empire rose and fell, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Bail Organa, and Darth Vader all died, and Padme's frozen body was forgotten...


	2. Chapter 2

"My Mother"

By EsmeAmelia

Chapter 2

AN: Thanks for the reviews, all!

Princess Leia Organa Solo stood facing out a large window of her Corusaunt apartment. She gazed out at the lighted buildings and swift speeders without really seeing them - rather, her mind was focused on the stomach her hand rested on, and the two little beauties that were developing within it. Although it had only been a few days since she discovered that she was pregnant with twins, her mind was relaxed and content, ready to welcome the two new lives.

However, two arms suddenly wrapping around her waist and a hand rubbing her stomach somewhat disturbed her relaxed state of mind.

Leia's husband, Han Solo, had grabbed Leia into one of his "surprise pregnancy hugs," as he called them, where he would grab her from behind without warning and place his hands on her stomach, theoretically hugging his wife and his children at the same time. After receiving so many of these hugs in the last few days, Leia was beginning to wish that she hadn't told Han about her pregnancy until later - much later. Maybe she might have been able to fool him into thinking that she was just gaining weight until labor.

"So whaddaya think we should name 'em, hon?" Han asked as he caressed her stomach and rested his chin on her shoulder.

"Names? Already?" said Leia. "Han, I'm only a few weeks pregnant and you're already talking about names?"

"Comon, hon, I know you must have some you're thinkin' about," Han continued in his seductive voice.

"Oh...all right," said Leia. "What do you think of Cassandra?"

"Hmm, well that's..."

"Or Muriel?"

"That's a bit..."

"Or Annamaria?"

"Hey, wait a sec, what's with all the girl's names?" said Han. "You know, there's a chance that one of them might be a boy."

Leia rolled her eyes. "Great, that's all I need. Han Solo Jr."

"Or maybe they'll _both_ be boys."

"Even better," Leia groaned. "_Two_ Han Solo Jrs."

"What, you worried about being outnumbered?" Han chided as he kissed her cheek.

Leia decided that this conversation wasn't worth continuing, so she pulled her husband's face into a liplocking kiss as a distraction. It distracted Han all right, a little bit too much. Before Leia knew what was happening, she was lying on the sofa with Han on top of her, still in that liplocking kiss, which was growing more passionate by the moment.

"Han...Han, that's enough," Leia said as she forced their lips apart. "I don't have time for this, remember? I need to approve the site for the new medical facility."

"Oh right, the medical facility," Han groaned. "Can't you just send another senator there?"

"Wow, imagine what that would do to my reputation. 'I'm sorry, but you'll have to send a replacement senator so I can stay at home and make love with my husband.'"

"Is that a no?" Han grinned.

"Of course it's a no," Leia said with mock anger before running her fingers through Han's hair. "But I do have a few minutes before I have to leave."

Han gently pulled himself up into a sitting position and patted her stomach. "Nervous?"

"No, not at all," said Leia as she sat up next to him. "Why should I be?"

"Well, first of all, most normal people usually get nervous when they discover that they're going to have a baby," Han gave one of his crocked grins, "but then again, you've never really been normal." Before Leia could slap him, he quickly continued, "Also, you don't really have much experience being around mothers. You know, your birth mother died young and then your adopted mother died a few years later. Now that you're about to become a mother, aren't you nervous about your lack of observed examples of mothering?"

"That's why they invented parenting books." Leia rolled her eyes. "You're one to talk about a lack of parenting role models. You don't even know who your parents _are._"

"Yeah," Han sighed. "Freaky coincidence, that we both grew up without knowing who our real parents are."

"Luke would say there are no coincidences - it was the will of the Force," grinned Leia. Then her face grew serious. "But trust me, finding out who they are isn't all that. Take me, for example. I learned that my real father was one of the most evil figures in the galaxy." She eyed Han slyly. "Maybe you shouldn't worry about who your parents are. For all you know, your father might be the Emperor."

"Then I guess that would make me the rightful heir to the throne," Han laughed before pulling her into another liplocking kiss.

Leia pushed him back. "Han, no. Remember the site approval for the new medical facility?"

"Then I guess you'd better get goin' before I get in the mood again." Han winked at his wife and got up from the sofa.

Leia didn't see any reason not to approve the site for a new medical facility. After all, this pile of rubble used to be a medical facility about twenty-three years ago, before it was destroyed by the Empire. But the law required the sites for all Republic-funded construction projects to be inspected and approved by a senator before construction could begin, so Leia began scanning the site, though she was starting to wish that she was at home lovemaking with Han.

The original floor looked like it could still be used. It was filthy, sure, but it appeared to be sturdy. It would save a lot of money if they could build the new facility on the old floor. Leia walked around the floor with hard strides, testing what remained of the floor's reliability.

Suddenly, she stopped. Something felt different. She repeatedly tapped her foot on the floor. Yes, this part of the floor felt lighter than the rest of the floor. A mixture of duty and curiosity caused her to crouch down and examine it further. Underneath the dust and dirt, she felt a crack. A long, thin, straight crack. The same sort of crack that nested around the edges of the Millennium Falcon's smuggling compartments. She wondered...

A few more minutes of examination revealed that her suspicions were correct - there was indeed a trap door in the floor. Opening the trap door uncovered a set of stairs leading down to some sort of underground room. Leia breathed excitedly. What was this room used for? Were there perhaps some remaining artifacts down there that were not found by the Empire? She practically leapt to her feet and started descending down the musky staircase.

Down in the secret room, Leia's handlight pierced the darkness for the first time in many years. Shelves stocked with all different medicines shone in the illumination. Leia nearly cried out in excitement from her discovery. She reasoned that this room was meant to store the rare medicines in order to protect them from being stolen, and that plan had succeeded. Long after the rest of the building had been raided and destroyed, these medicines had survived, and now they could still be used to help the sick. She was so excited that she almost did not notice when her foot struck something hard.

Now what was this? Leia shone her light down to see what she had run into, and immediately her excitement was washed away by terror.

A woman's gray, metallic, agonized face lifelessly stared up at her. Her eyes were wrinkled shut, as though they were blocking out a blast of intense light. Her mouth hung half-open, as though it were crying out in pain. The shape of the face descended into a flat grayness, as though the substance had captured a moment of torture and preserved it indefinitely. Leia trembled slightly, for she had seen another face preserved like this, another face stuck in similar agony. Unpleasant memories of that other face, the face of the man she loved, flew into her head. She didn't need to examine the rest of the figure to know what had happened to this woman.

This woman had been carbon frozen.


	3. Chapter 3

"My Mother"

By EsmeAmelia

Chapter 3

AN: Thanks again for the reviews!

Leia stared at the face for several long moments, unable to do anything else. Intense chills repeatedly jolted through her body as she struggled to keep her breath steady. The awful memories of the frozen form of Han Solo seemed to be escaping the confinement of her brain and once again stimulating her actual senses. She saw Han...then she saw the woman...then she saw Han again...the images were taking turns in front of her eyes, as though determined to lead her to madness. She closed her eyes, but the ghastly images appeared beneath her eyelids, soundlessly crying in pain, soundlessly calling out to her to free them from their deathlike nightmare...

Free her! When those two words entered Leia's head she suddenly snapped back to complete reality. She quickly slipped her light down to the side of the carbonite box to read the life moniters.

Leia's eyes grew as wide as their sockets would allow. The woman in the carbonite was alive!

Leia gulped as she crouched down beside the box. Though she had successfully freed someone from carbonite once before, she was still hesitant to do it again. She remembered how Han had shaken in her arms, blind, ill, disoriented. He had later told her that his only source of comfort during the completely overwhelming time of coming out of hibernation had been the knowledge that someone he knew and loved was with him. Leia shuddered. She had heard that some people had gone insane after being unfrozen, and in this case, she was not someone the woman knew and loved, but a complete stranger. What sort of comfort could she offer?

Despite her doubts, Leia would have to do what she could to help this woman. She could feel something - almost like a voice was telling her to set the woman free. A deep breath filled her lungs before she worked the controls to melt the carbonite.

Time was repeating itself. The woman's body glowed red as the carbonite melted, her mouth and hands slowly and stiffly began to move, it was all so eerily similar to Han's decarbonization. Leia held her breath, anxiously waiting for the woman to wake up, as though she were an old friend instead of a stranger.

Finally, the process was complete, and the woman gasped as her eyes slowly opened. Her body started shivering violently as she took in uneven breaths. Leia quickly reached out and took the woman's icy cold hand. "It's all right," she said in a steady voice. "It's over. You'll be all right."

"I-I...I can't see," the woman gasped.

Were those always the first words people uttered when they came out of hibernation? Leia wondered. She gently stroked the woman's stiff hand. "The hibernation sickness will wear off and your eyesight will return," she continued, amazed at how confident she was sounding. "I don't know who you are or how long you were in that carbonite, but I'm here to help you." She carefully reached behind the woman's back to help her sit up. "Come with me. You're going to be fine, I promise."

To Leia's complete surprise, the woman complied to her request. She seemed to automatically trust Leia as she helped her stand up and guided her towards the stairs, like they knew each other before. Even stranger was that Leia _felt_ like they knew each other. As she touched the woman's cold skin, she could sense a connection, a deep connection, a connection that felt like a bonding of the souls. Her curiosity grew more and more intense with each step. Who was this woman?

She turned and looked into the woman's blind eyes, and the world disappeared. Though those eyes could not see, they seemed to reach out to Leia and pull her into the very soul of the woman, which was an inviting place, a comforting place, a place where no harm could come to her.

Leia quickly turned her eyes away, a bit overwhelmed by this experience. Right now she had to concentrate on getting this woman to her home, where she could rest and recover her strengh. But, no matter how hard Leia tried to concentrate on that, she could not ignore the silent voices that were speaking to her.

_You know this woman,_ they were saying. _You know this woman._


	4. Chapter 4

"My Mother"

By EsmeAmelia

Chapter 4

AN: Once again, thanks for the reviews! I'm amazed - I didn't think anyone would seriously like this story.

"All right, you can lie down here," Leia said to the woman as she sat her down on the bed that she shared with Han. "Just get some rest, you'll be fine."

The woman felt around the mattress she sat on until she located a pillow, which she immediately nestled her head on. "Thank you..." she said softly.

"No problem." Leia smiled at the woman, even though she knew the woman couldn't see her. "Believe me, I know that being carbon frozen isn't easy. My husband was once..." She stopped when she saw that the woman had fallen asleep.

Leia reached down and gently pulled a blanket over the woman's body, tucking her in with the tenderness of a mother tucking in her child. Whoever this woman was, there was something about her that felt so comforting. Leia ran her fingers through the woman's brown curls as she gazed at her slumbering face. Her face was so beautiful, and yet there was something sad about it. The face looked so familiar...

"_What_ is going on here?"

Leia whipped her head up to find Han standing in the doorway, looking rather shocked to see a strange woman sleeping on his side of the bed. "Han, _shh!"_ she hissed. "She needs her rest."

"_She?"_ Han sneered without lowering his voice as he waved a finger at the bed. "Who the hell is _she, _and what is _she_ doing in _our_ bed - and on _my _side, no less?"

"_Han!"_ Leia snapped in a fierce whisper. "You of all people should know that people need rest after being freed from carbonite."

"Yeah, and what a great rest I got on the cold, hard, unsanitary floor of the dungeon."

"Oh come on, Chewie said you slept like a baby."

"Well Chewie tends to exaggerate..." Han stopped in mid-sentence and his eyes suddenly widened, as though he was just now comprehending what Leia said. "...hold on a sec, did you say she was_ frozen in carbonite?"_

"Something to that effect," said Leia. She walked up to the door and took her husband's hand. "Come on, I can explain out here." Before Han could protest, she led him out of the bedroom.

"...so let me get this straight. You found this woman frozen in carbonite in a room underneath the building site, and then you freed her and decided to take her home?"

Leia nodded.

"And you have no idea who she is?" Han continued.

Leia nodded again. "She wouldn't speak on the way home, but I'm sure she'll come around in time and tell us who she is."

Han still looked like he couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Um, no offence, but couldn't you have taken her to a hospital or something instead of dragging her home to steal my side of the bed?"

"Well...yes...probably..." Leia fumbled.

"Then why didn't you?"

Leia sighed. "I felt something. It was like..." She absentmindedly reached up to her braided hair and began twirling a loose strand around her finger. "...like she was _meant _to come here, like I was _meant_ to find her."

"Oh, the Force told you that she was _meant_ to steal my side of the bed?" Han rolled his eyes. "Do you think the Force would have minded terribly if you had put her on the sofa instead?"

Leia lowered her brows. "So you're more concerned about losing your side of the bed for one night than you are about this poor woman who was frozen for who knows how long?"

"Scoundrel's ways, ya know." Han briefly gave a cocky grin. "I ain't completely over 'em yet."

Leia considered giving Han a good slap in the face, but decided against it due to the fact that the racket he made afterward might wake up the woman. "Han," she said calmly, "it's all right for you to simply admit that the presence of someone else who was carbon frozen is making you uncomfortable."

Han didn't admit it per se, but he didn't give any wisecracks or outbursts either. He simply turned around and started walking away, which was enough to convince Leia that she had hit his nail right on the head, and hit it hard.

"Where are you going?" asked Leia.

"To set up the sofa," Han replied without looking back at her. "Looks like I'll be sleepin' there tonight."

Leia returned to the bedroom, where she sat down in a chair next to the bed. The woman had not woken or even changed her position, but her steady breathing showed Leia that she was recovering. She gazed again at the woman's face, which held so much mystique. She could feel that this woman had a secret, a secret that was relevant to her. What could it be? Leia was tempted to probe the woman's mind, but she would not invade the privacy of someone who was just freed from carbonite. She was confident that she would know this woman's secret soon enough. Soon enough, the reason for the strange connection she felt would be revealed.


	5. Chapter 5

"My Mother"

By EsmeAmelia

AN: Wow, I am overwhelmed by the postive feedback I've gotten. Thank you all! All right, here's the scene everyone's been waiting for.

Chapter 5

She was floating in darkness, but she was not afraid. This darkness was a safe darkness, a darkness that protected her from the outside world. She knew that there had to be another world outside of her safe dark world, for she sometimes heard sounds and voices coming from outside the darkness, but she was confident that the sounds would never find her, for her dark world was completely secure.

She was not alone in the darkness either, no, there was someone else with her, someone else who was protected by the darkness. She had no name or other descriptive word for the other being with her, but she felt a bond with it. The other being often touched her with a softness that brought their souls together.

This little dark world with the other being was her complete world. Though she knew there was another world in existence, she had no desire to visit it. The dark world was her home, her life, her eternity, her entire universe. Nothing in it would ever change.

But suddenly and without warning, something did change. Something pushed against her with a mighty force, throwing her against the soft barriers of the dark world. The push abated for a moment, and then a second forceful push thrust her against the barrier, this one even more powerful than the first. She felt something that she had never felt before, fear. The dark world that had always been her sanctuary didn't want her anymore.

As the pushing continued, she felt around for the other being, but to no avail. The other being had already been claimed by the outside world, had already left the darkness forever. Now she was alone, alone for the first time in her existence, and now she too was about to leave the darkness.

Coldness surrounded her, making her even more uncomfortable. Her world was rapidly disappearing, and so was the warmth and security that went with it. Suddenly, a group of hard, solid pieces of coldness pressed against her body, making her cry out as they lifted her out of the darkness.

Seeing light for the first time made her cry out even harder. Light hurt her eyes and made them squint, making her yearn for the darkness. Why was she here? Why couldn't she go back to her safe world? She didn't want to be here with the bright light and the uncomfortable pieces of cold holding her.

But then, the pieces of cold let her go and handed her to pieces of warmth. The warm, soft things that now held her were at least comfortable. They reminded her of the soft barriers that had protected her in her dark world. She stopped crying, feeling a bit secure again.

Her eyes blinked a few times, adjusting to the light, and then she saw something that took her interest. A soft, inviting pair of eyes stared at her with a loving but pained expression. Automatically she was at peace - she immediately felt a bond with these eyes, a bond that was similar to what she had felt with the other being in her dark world, but this bond felt even deeper and stronger. The face the eyes belonged to invited her, comforted her, stimulated her senses. Since she had no words right now, it would not be until later when she would connect the face with words like "beautiful," "kind," and "sad," but in truth, those words were not sufficient to describe how she felt about the face right now.

The face then spoke, in a voice that she had often heard inside the darkness, a voice that had comforted her even when her entire world was secure.

"Leia..."

Leia. She did not know what it meant, but she liked how it sounded.

"Leia..."

She was being moved away from the face. No! No, she wanted to stay...she wanted to learn more about the face...

"Leia..."

Don't take her away...don't take her away...she was never going to see the face again...

"Leia...Leia...Leia..."

Leia woke up. She breathed deeply a few times before opening her eyes, hoping that perhaps this time she would actually remember the details of that face. For as long as she could remember, she had been having that same dream - the dream that carried the only "memories" of her real mother. She didn't know how much of it was actual memories and how much of it was pure dream, but the moment when she first saw her mother's face always came to her so fiercely and vividly that she was convinced that it had to be a real memory. True, when she awoke she had forgotten the physical details of the face, but she never forgot the _feelings._ The intense feelings always stayed with her in her waking hours, guiding Leia to believe that her mother was beautiful, kind, but sad. That was what she felt; that was what the dream always told her.

At this moment she concentrated on recalling the physical details of her mother's face, but once again, they had escaped her when she woke up. Finally she gave up on her cause and opened her eyes. For a moment she was surprised to find that she was sitting in a chair next to her bed instead of lying in it, but then she remembered the mystery woman.

The bedroom lights were still on, but the dark of night showed through the windows. Leia blinked to adjust her eyes to the light. When did she fall asleep, anyway? It must have been soon after her argument with Han, which was strange, since she hadn't been the least bit tired after that. And how long had she been sleeping? How far into the night was it?

"Ani...Ani..."

The sound of the woman talking in her sleep distracted Leia from her ponderings. She rose from the chair and looked over at the woman, who was now throwing her head around the pillow, as though she was in a nightmare.

"Ani..." she kept repeating. "Ani...Ani..."

"Who's Ani?" Leia found herself asking before she knew what she was doing.

"Ani...Ani..." the woman still repeated.

Now Leia's hand was reaching out and touching the woman's cheek without her brain consciously telling her hand to do so. "Who's Ani?" she repeated in as calm a voice as she could muster.

Finally the woman's eyes snapped open. "Ani!" she yelled.

Leia stroked her cheek. "It's all right, it's all right. It was just a dream."

The woman breathed deeply. "No...no...it's not all right," she said in a fully-aware voice.

"What do you mean?" asked Leia. "Who's Ani?" The last question had come out unintentionally, as if she was really curious to know who Ani was.

"Ani's my husband," the woman replied with a long sigh. "At least, he _was_ my husband."

"What happened to him? Did he die?" Leia wasn't meaning to ask all these questions to a sick woman, but they seemed to be coming out without her thinking of them.

"Something...something terrible happened to him," the woman said in a voice that sounded like it was choking back a sob. "But...I don't want to talk about it."

Leia patted the woman's cheek. "That's all right, I understand." She then thought it would be best to distract her a little. "How's your sight?"

The woman blinked a few times. "Better," she said. "I can see shapes...blurry shapes, but shapes nonetheless." Her eyes then focused as best they could on Leia. "By the way, you never told me. Who are you?"

Leia felt like an idiot to have not told the woman her name, but at the same time, she was also thrilled to be having her first real conversation with this woman. "I'm Leia," she said. "Leia Organa Solo."

There appeared to be the tiniest hint of a smile in the woman's lips. "Leia..." she repeated. "I like that name. In fact, I have a daughter named..." A sharp gasp from her lips interrupted her sentence, as though an important memory was suddenly returning to her. "My...my children!" she exclaimed. "My children! Where are they?"

"Your children?" Leia repeated in an uneasy voice.

"My little twins," the woman said between gasping breaths. "They were born right before...right before..." She was unable to finish her sentence, for the gasping breaths seemed to be overtaking her voice.

"Calm down," Leia instructed.

"Where are they?" the woman exclaimed again.

"Listen, I don't know your children," Leia said. "I have no idea where they are."

The woman seemed not to hear her. "I had them...I had them right with me. My son and daughter..."

Leia tried to speak calmly. "They're probably all right," she said, although she of course had no way of telling whether they were all right or not.

The woman remained in her hysterical state. "My son...he was born first...I barely saw him, but I know he was there...I named him...my little Luke..."

Leia gasped loudly. "_Luke?"_ she shouted. Her eyes bulged, her muscles tensed up, and her breath tightened. "Did you just say _Luke?"_

"And my daughter..." the woman continued. "...I saw her clearly...she looked at me...my Leia...Leia, that's her name...just like yours..."

Leia's stomach turned upside-down, her arms started tingling, her every nerve was stimulated. Her breathing shook up much like the woman's breath was shaking. It seemed as though she had jumped into cold water after spending time in the hot sun - her entire body was put into shock.

"It's all right..." she managed to say in a dazed voice. "Get...get some sleep. Y-you'll feel better tomorrow. And... and I'm _sure_ we'll be able to find your children...I'm _certain._"

The woman took a deep breath. "I'm...I'm sorry..." she said softly.

Leia found that she couldn't say anything more. She unconsciously started walking towards the door, still in a state of complete shock.

"By the way," the woman called after her. "my name's Padme. Padme Amidala."

Leia wanted to scream. As soon as she was safely out of the bedroom she wanted to empty her lungs until she had no voice left. But it turned out that she already had no voice left. Her chest was too tight to produce a scream, in fact, it seemed that it was so tight she could barely exhale. She walked on with no destination, no sense of where she was going. She was barely aware of her surroundings, barely aware of anything going on inside her head, barely aware of anything except shock. Hard, cold shock. She was feeling no fear, no joy, no excitement, just shock.

She entered the living room, where Han was snoring on the sofa. Han! She could wake him up and tell him everything - she would have someone to whom she could pour herself out. And he...he wouldn't believe her. He would think she had gone crazy and more than anything he would be annoyed that she had disturbed his beauty sleep. No...no, she couldn't tell him now - she wanted to so much, but she couldn't. If she wanted him to believe her, she would have to tell him at a time that didn't require waking him up in the middle of the night.

But there was someone else. Someone else who would understand, someone else who wouldn't mind being woken up in the middle of the night, for this story would be as relevant to him as it was to her. Yes...yes...she would have to tell him...

"Hello?" Luke's hologram answered in a sleepy voice, dressed in his bathrobe.

"Luke...hi..." Leia stammered. "Uh...how are you?"

"Leia?" Luke asked. "Are you all right? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Luke..." Leia said again, breathing deeply. "Luke..." She was struggling to get words out. "Luke...I need you to...to come visit us tomorrow morning."

"Tomorrow?" Luke said with a yawn. "Is something wrong?"

"No," Leia almost shouted. "No...nothing is _wrong,_ it's just that...Luke, I...there's...there's someone I want you to meet." It was no use. She couldn't bring herself to tell the whole story right now.

Luke's hologram sighed. "All right, I'll be over after breakfast tomorrow. But Leia, are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine, Luke," Leia said quickly. "Go back to bed, I'll see you tomorrow."

Han was still asleep when Leia returned to the living room, but his snoring had quieted down. Leia looked at her husband with envy. There was no way she would be getting back to sleep tonight. She was again tempted to wake him up. At least his complaining about being disturbed would distract her for a bit - it might help to calm down her jumping nerves. Yes...she would shake him awake whether he liked it or not. But her hands wouldn't move. Maybe it was because he looked too peaceful to be awakened. Maybe it was because she had a conscience. Or maybe it was because she knew he would demand an explanation, and she wasn't prepared to give one.

Now her feet seemed to be moving on their own, carrying her towards the bedroom. The bedroom, where the woman - Padme - was. No...no...she didn't want to go there, she wanted to be as far away from her as possible...no...but her feet kept walking.

In the bedroom, Padme was sleeping again, this time appearing peaceful and content, as though she knew where her children were, as though she knew that her daughter was close by. Leia could only stare at her. Now she understood the reason why she had felt so close to this woman, she understood why she had felt the urge to take her home, she understood it all. She just couldn't believe what was happening. After twenty-three years of wondering, suddenly the answer was in front of her.

"Padme Amidala..." she whispered. "My mother..."


	6. Chapter 6

"My Mother"

By EsmeAmelia

Chapter 6

AN: As always, thanks for the reviews!

Morning arrived without Leia noticing. She had been sitting at the kitchen table, picking at the meal she had fixed for herself, for what seemed like ages. The overwhelming thoughts of Padme were stuck in her head with no way of getting them out.

"Ani's my husband," she had said. Husband. Ani - Anakin Skywalker, had been married. Darth Vader had been married. Married to someone who had clearly loved him. Previously, if Leia had thought about her father's marital life, she might have assumed that she and Luke were conceived by a rape or in a forced marriage or something like that - she could never imagine Darth Vader in a loving marriage. Her head knew that her father was originally on the good side, but her heart could not accept it. He had captured her, tortured her, destroyed her planet, killed millions of innocent lives, tortured and frozen her husband, attempted to kill her and her friends on numerous occasions...no, how could such a monster have ever had good in him? Even now, her heart still considered Bail Organa to be her real father, even though Luke had told her in great detail about how Anakin Skywalker had turned back to the light side just before he died. Being told about it wasn't the same as seeing it for herself, and seeing it for herself was something she had not experienced.

"Something terrible happened to him," Padme had said. Leia figured she must have been referring to Anakin turning to the dark side, which stimulated her curiosity. How and why did Darth Vader turn to the dark side? She had never really pondered this before, but now, with her mother, his wife, alive again, his wife who was obviously rich with the light side and who had obviously loved her husband, she was becoming interested in how this puzzle could fit together.

And then there was Padme herself. Leia had spent her entire life believing that her mother was dead. The shock from discovering that she was alive still hadn't wavered. What was wrong with her? Leia was asking herself. She had spent so many days wishing her mother was alive, so many days wondering what her mother was like, and yet now that her wish had come true, she wanted to stay away from her. Perhaps it would wear off over time. Perhaps soon she would start to welcome her mother into her life.

Han entered the kitchen in his robe. "Mornin' Leia."

Though Leia usually loved to look at her husband in the morning, when he looked even scruffier than usual, today she barely took notice that he was up.

"Uh, Leia?" Han continued with a concerned look on his face. "Honey? You okay?"

Leia still didn't answer him.

Han quietly slipped behind the chair Leia was sitting in. After a moment or two, he reached around her and grabbed her stomach. "Pregnancy hug!" he exclaimed.

But Leia didn't even react to that. She just continued to stare at her food without eating it, as though her mind was somewhere far away.

Han let go of her. "Leia?" he said. "What's wrong?"

Still silence.

"Look, if this is about last night, I'm sorry about the way I acted, okay?" said Han. "You were right, she needed the bed more than I did. If I have to sleep on the sofa for a few more nights, I can do that, 'kay?"

"It isn't about that," Leia said in a monotone voice.

Han sat down in the chair next to her and gently put his hand on her shoulder. "Leia," he continued, "now come on, I know somthin's bothering you."

"You'd better get dressed - Luke's coming over soon," Leia sighed.

"Luke?" Han exclaimed. "Leia, tell me what's goin' on here."

"It's nothing that concerns you, nerfherder," Leia snapped as she rose from her seat, taking in uneven breaths.

"Nothing than concerns me?" Han snapped back. "It doesn't concern me when my wife looks the way she did after she found out Darth Vader was her father? Now tell me, what's going on?"

"If you recall correctly, I didn't tell you then, either," Leia said without looking at him. "Maybe you should just take a hint and realize that I don't always need to tell you everything right away." She breathed quickly, wondering why she was reacting so strongly. She had been waiting for Han to get up so she could tell him, but now that he was up, she found that talking about her experience last night was still an impossible feat.

Han carefully put his hands on her shoulders again. "Leia," he said gently, "I just want to help. Please tell me."

"If you want to help, then go serve breakfast to our guest," Leia replied. _So I won't have to go near her,_ she thought to herself.

"What?" Han reacted. "Now wait a minute, when I said I wanted to help, I meant doin' things like offerin' some comforting words or holdin' you in my arms or something like that."

"You failed to state that the first time," said Leia, turning around to face him. "Now come on, I'm sure she'd love to meet someone else who was carbon frozen."

"Oh, you want us to reminisce on what a wonderful experience it is to be frozen?" Han snapped. "Why can't you just serve her?"

"Well..." Leia quickly thought of an excuse, "...you would know better than me what kind of food she should eat after being released from carbonite, and how much of it she should eat. You know, since you've had the experience."

"You were the one feedin' me," Han retorted.

"But you were still the one doing the eating," Leia retorted back. "You would know how she would feel after eating certain amounts."

Han looked her in the eye. "Leia, I ain't servin' her breakfast, you got that? And that is FINAL."

-------------------------

Han muttered several swear words to himself as he carried the tray of food to the bedroom where their "guest" was. He absolutely did not want to go near another person who had been carbon frozen - it would set back his process of forgetting everything associated with his own carbon freezing experience. What if she wanted to talk about it? The thought of hearing someone else talking about the carbon freeze experience made him sick.

Padme was sitting up in bed, looking much healthier than she did last night, but wearing a pensive expression on her face.

Han put on a fake smile. "Well good morning Padme - that's your name, right? How'd ya enjoy my side of the bed?"

"It's very comfortable," Padme responded, raising an eyebrow at him. "Um, who are you?"

"Han Solo, Leia's husband," Han answered. "You've had a taste of her hospitality, and now, at my wife's insistence, you'll get a taste of mine."

Padme's other eyebrow went up. "Uh...thank you, I guess."

"Don't thank me 'till you've had a taste of your first post-carbonite meal," said Han, waving the tray in front of her. "Can you see yet, or will I have to describe it to you?"

"My eyesight's almost back to normal," replied Padme. "But..." She sighed. "...but, I want to know something. What exactly happened to me?"

Han's stomach turned a somersault at her question. "Well..." He cleared his throat. "...well, here's how it goes. First ya get lowered into this freezing chamber and almost immediately you're surrounded by smoke - not a regular kind of smoke, mind you, this smoke freezes up the place. It gets cold, really cold, so cold that you can't stand it. Then your entire body starts solidifying, causing all pain-sensitive parts of you to explode at the same time. Your blood can't flow, your lungs can't breathe - you're freezin' up from the inside out. All you can feel is pain and cold, pain and cold, pain and cold as you fruitlessly gasp for breath and your body is encased. Finally, after what seems like years of pain and cold, you thankfully black out.

"But it ain't over then. Once you wake up you immediately wish you hadn't. Your brain violently spins around inside your head, your lungs burst with pain every time you breathe, your stomach feels like it's gonna vomit out everything you've ever eaten, and your body can't stop shakin'. Not only that, but you're still freezing cold, and as some lovely icing on the cake, you find that you've gone blind."

"You've got the second part down, all right," said Padme. "But I don't remember the first part."

"You're lucky, then," replied Han. "The process of being frozen in carbonite ain't pretty, I know."

"How do you know?"

"Happened to me once," Han said with a slight cringe. "But listen, I ain't here to share wonderful memories of carbon freezing. I've told you the basics, and I ain't talkin' about it anymore."

"So asking how and why you were frozen is out of the question?" said Padme.

Han groaned. "Let's just say that my father-in-law _really_ didn't like me. That's all I'm sayin'."

"You were frozen because your father-in-law didn't like you?" Padme said, clearly trying to stifle a giggle.

"It ain't funny, sister!" Han snapped. "You don't know my father-in-law." His brows lowered slightly. "All right, now you have to tell me how _you_ were frozen."

Padme sank back into the pillow she was sitting against. "I don't know. The last thing I remembered was being in a hospital of some sort, where my babies were born."

"Well, I'm not all that interested in it anyway," Han said quickly. "Let's get to the purpose of my bein' here, which would be your breakfast." He set the tray down on her lap. "Be sure to eat in small bites - your stomach needs to adjust to digesting again. If ya eat in too large portions, you'll throw up." He made a face. "Trust me, I know."

"I get the picture," said Padme as she took a tiny spoonful of porridge. "Don't worry, considering that I haven't eaten in quite some time, I'm actually not very hungry. I'm more thirsty than hungry."

"Well, we got blue milk here," said Han. "Nice and mild, you should have no problem drinkin' it. If you try to drink something too strong after being carbonited, your insides start burnin' up." He made another face. "Learned that the hard way too."

Padme picked up the glass of milk and took a long sip, savoring her first drink in twenty-three years.

"Well," said Han, "you drank that without cringing, guess that means you're starting to feel better. You're lookin' pretty good, I gotta say." He then pursed his lips, realizing how that came out. "Uh, not that I'm interested in you or anything - I meant that you're lookin' good healthwise, so don't get any ideas. I'm, ya know, married."

Padme grinned and shook her head. "You are something."

-----------------------------------------

Meanwhile, Leia was still caught up in her musings. Twenty-three years. Her mother had been frozen for twenty-three years. How was she going to adjust? And how was Leia ever going to tell her that her children were fine, but they had grown up without her, and not only that, but she would soon become a grandmother? She shivered. This was still so unreal. Her mother was alive. Thanks to the freezing, her mother still looked only a few years older than she was. She would have to tell her mother about the events during her twenty-three year absence and help her begin anew, and she wasn't at all sure if she could do it. Right now, she just wanted to delay it. Delay, delay, delay. Think of any excuse she could to not go near her. But no...that wasn't going to work for long, and it wasn't going to make Padme disappear. She would have to do what she had been doing her entire life - face reality.

She suddenly looked up, feeling a familiar presence, and this one she could identify, since she had felt it so many times before. Oh no...the time had come. She could no longer delay the telling of the story to the person standing outside her apartment. Now she would have to truly face what was in front of her as she shared it with her twin brother.

"I'm coming, Luke," she called as she headed for the door.


	7. Chapter 7

"My Mother

By EsmeAmelia

Chapter 7

AN: Thanks for the reviews, again!

The door to the apartment slid open much too fast for Leia - she was face-to-face with her brother all too quickly. She would have liked the door to get stuck; that way, she wouldn't have to give her brother the news right now, but life was running too smoothly and the door was working. Curse that door.

"Hey Leia," said Luke.

"Hello Luke," Leia said in a stiff voice.

"Mistress Leia, it is so good to see you!" C-3PO said as he hobbled into the apartment, followed by R2-D2 rolling in.

"What?" Leia reacted to the droids. "Luke, why did you bring them along?"

Luke shrugged. "They wanted to come."

Leia gritted her teeth before speaking again. "Well, could you send them to another room?" she said through her gritted teeth. "This is kind of too important for droids."

Luke took the hint. "3PO, you and R2 go wait for us in the living room."

"Oh, certainly, Master Luke," 3PO replied eagerly. "Come along R2, it appears that the princess has something rather important to discuss with Master Luke."

R2 beeped haughtily.

"Of course they don't want droids listening in. R2, don't you know that eavesdropping is a sign of very improper behavior, even for humans?"

R2 gave another haughty beep.

"Oh, you are impossible," 3PO said as they headed towards the living room. "Always thinking that you must retain every bit of information you can get in that thick dome of yours."

Once the droids were out of sight, Leia hastily pushed the button that shut the door behind them, enclosing her in the kitchen with Luke.

"So, how are my nieces or nephews?" Luke asked.

"They're fine," Leia sighed. "At least, I haven't heard any complaints." On a normal day, a grin would have accompanied her statement, but today her face remained cold, stiff, unable to fashion expression, even when making a humorous statement.

The lack of life in her face was quickly noticed. "Leia," said Luke. "What's wrong? Why am I here?"

"Your sister wanting to see you isn't reason enough?"

"Well, when my sister calls me in the middle of the night, I tend to think there's a stronger reason than that."

Troubled breaths emitted from Leia's mouth as she gave a small nod. "You're...you're right. There...is a very important reason why you're here."

"I'm listening," said Luke.

Leia and Luke promptly sat down opposite each other at the kitchen table without really thinking; it merely seemed that it was right to be seated like this for when Leia delivered whatever important news she was about to deliver.

Leia focused on her brother's soft eyes as her mind was frantically attempting to figure out the best way to tell him. She opened her mouth several times without saying anything, as her tongue was still numb and unwilling to say anything about this out loud.

"Luke..." She had to struggle to just say her brother's name - her tongue felt like a large glacier that could not be moved without force, but would shatter if it were moved at all. "Luke...remember...on Endor, when you asked me if I remembered our mother?"

"Yes, of course I remember that," said Luke.

"Yes...you said you don't remember our mother at all. Well...are you sure you don't? Haven't you ever had dreams, feelings, anything?"

Luke sighed and lowered his eyes. "No. Not even since I learned to use the Force. I've never felt her, I've never seen her, I don't know anything about her except the little that you told me." He looked back up at Leia. "Why are you asking me this?"

Leia breathed in through her teeth. "Luke...remember what happened to Han?"

"Which one of several things?" Luke asked with a confused look on his face.

"The freezing, remember?" Leia said quickly. "Well...you weren't there when it happened, but you know what I'm talking about."

"Uh...yes."

"Six months in hibernation, can you believe it? Six months! And yet now, he's perfectly all right. Seems like a miracle, but...you know...he's not the only one to survive carbon freezing - it's rare, but others have survived it as well." Leia couldn't believe that she was talking so randomly. Was this really the best method her brain could come up with?

"Uh, I know, Leia," said Luke, "but I still don't understand why you're talking about this."

"Well...what do you think the odds are of meeting two people who have survived carbon freezing?"

Luke's brows went up. "You...you met someone else who's been carbon frozen?"

Leia gritted her teeth and forced herself to nod. "Yesterday...when I was inspecting the building site for a new medical facility..." She told Luke about how she had discovered Padme and rescued her, leaving out all details that might have hinted that she was their mother. One step at a time - that was the best way to break this news to Luke.

Luke's face now appeared intrigued, but still very confused. "Well...that's interesting..." His cheeks bulged for a moment before he spoke again. "...but...I still don't get it. Why did you call me last night to tell me this?"

"I'm not finished," said Leia, swallowing hard. "Luke...the woman I found...she's...she's..." She swallowed again, and then an idea came to her. "Luke...reach out with your Jedi senses to the bedroom."

"What?"

"Please Luke, do it."

Luke sighed. "All right, but I still don't know what's going on here." He shut his eyes tightly, concentrating on feeling the presences in the Solos' bedroom. "Han's in there..." he said after a few moments.

"Yes, yes, I know Han's in there," said Leia. "But do you feel anyone...else in there?"

Luke shut his eyes tighter and inhaled slowly. "Yes...yes...I do feel someone else. A woman...there's a woman in the bedroom with Han..." His eyes briefly opened. " So you wanted to tell me that Han is having an affair with the woman you rescued?"

"What? NO!" Leia shouted, completely exasperated. "No, that's not it. Even if Han wanted to, I don't think he'd find an affair too attractive once he found out who she is." She gestured wildly for him to close his eyes and continue. "Keep going - you'll feel it soon."

Luke did as he was told, and for several lingering moments he simply sat, eyes relaxed, breath steady, every part of him focusing on the woman in the bedroom. Leia watched anxiously, sensing confusion and concentration coming from him, waiting for the moment of shock, the moment when he would discover that the woman he was reaching at was not any ordinary stranger.

Suddenly his eyes popped open. "I-I...I know her!" he exclaimed. "That woman...I've seen her before...I don't know where...but I've seen her."

Leia sucked in her breath as she nodded. "So I was right."

"What?"

"You claim that you don't remember her, but you must have something burried in your subconscious - otherwise you wouldn't have recognized her there." Her uncooperative breath broke into small nearly-inaudible gasps as she forced her next words out. "You're like me, Luke. We both have a connection with her, and hence, the Force will never let either of us truly forget her." She stared fiercely into Luke's eyes. "You have seen her before...she was probably the first thing you ever saw. Luke...you remember her too. Like me, you also remember..." Her lungs filled with air before she uttered the critical words. "...our mother."

It was finished. She had said to Luke what needed to be said: he could pick it up from here. She had done her duty. It was finished...and yet, it had only started. No, it wasn't over - now she would merely switch roles from the messenger to the shoulder, the one to listen to questions and expressions from her brother.

She waited for what seemed like an incredibly long time for Luke to give a visual sign that he had heard her words. After she delivered the news, his face seemed to freeze in position: his mouth agape, his eyes staring at nothing, the only movement being the blinking of his eyes and the breathing of his chest. Leia's words had stopped time for him.

"Our...our...our mother?" Luke finally breathed.

Leia could only manage a nod as she wished she were anywhere else.

Luke's eyelids lowered again, once more reaching out to the bedroom with the Force. "She's...she's beautiful..." he murmured in an expressionless voice. "Like you said..." His eyes slowly opened as he continued breathing in uneven puffs. "D-does she...does she know?"

"No," said Leia. "She thinks I'm a different woman who shares her daughter's name by coincidence." She let a breath out through her teeth before continuing in a shaky voice. "She's been frozen since just after we were born, Luke. You and I will have to help her...help her start a new life..."

"...and we'll have to tell her," said Luke with a heavy sigh. "As soon as we can."

Leia lowered her head. "I know..."

It seemed that the room was being overtaken by the sounds of Leia and Luke's labored breathing as they both contemplated the uneasy road of what lay ahead for them. After a few moments, they both rose from their seats at the same time and unconsciously walked towards each other, meeting at the middle of the table. Once they faced each other, their arms reflexly wrapped around each other. For one moment in this overwhelming time, the twins could find comfort, comfort in each other's arms.

"We can do this, Luke," Leia said softly as she patted her brother's back. "We can do this."

------------------------------------

"...so that's how I made the Kessel Run in under twelve parsecs," Han was saying when Luke and Leia entered the bedroom. "Now, a few years later..."

"Han, _what_ are you doing?" Leia reacted.

"Just what you told me, sweetheart," Han said. "Entertainin' our guest."

"What I told you?" Leia spat. "I told you to serve her breakfast, not lounge on the foot of her bed and tell her stories about you!"

"_Her_ bed?" exclaimed Han with a wide mouth. "So now it's _her_ bed? That's funny, I don't recall agreein' to become a permanent resident of the sofa."

"Han, you know what I mean - and quit whining about the bed!"

"Sure thing, sweetheart, so long as you quit whining about me whining about the bed!"

"Hey, you two," Padme interrupted calmly.

"Sorry about my husband," Leia said to Padme (it amazed her how easy it was to talk to Padme when her mind was distracted by Han's behavior). "He's rather full of himself."

"It's all right," said Padme. "In fact, I actually enjoyed his story."

"There, you see?" Han gave Leia a smug grin. "You're not the only woman who can tolerate scoundrels."

Leia glared angrily at her husband. "You'd better not have meant that the way it sounded like you meant that!"

"Hey, don't worry," Padme quickly cut in. "I have no intention of taking away your husband. I'm married, he's married, we're both in committed relationships already. Okay? Calm down."

If Leia weren't under such emotional stress at this moment, she would have laughed at the notion of her husband having a relationship with her mother, but at this time, it only aggravated the emotional turmoil she was feeling. Of course, her sensible side knew that Han loved her and was eternally faithful to her, but at this time, when her entire life had suddenly turned into a chaotic direction, the last thing she needed was a suggestion that Han was flirting with another woman.

Han got up from the bed. "Leia, honey," he said in a careful voice. "There's no need to get heated up. Look." He took her face into his hands and planted a passionate kiss on her lips. "See? Need another?" He planted another passionate kiss on her lips. "Convinced I'd never cheat on ya yet, or do you need a third one?"

"Two is enough, thank you," Leia sighed. "Now Han, could you please leave the room for a few minutes?"

"Oh I get it, ya still don't trust me with her?"

"No..." Leia fumbled. "No...it's just that...Han...I need to talk with her."

"Well can't you talk in front of me?"

"Not right now," Leia breathed. "Han...please...just leave for a bit. For me?"

Han sighed. "First I have to give up my side of the bed, then I have to serve breakfast, and now I have to leave the room? Leia, ever since she came here you've been..."

"I told you to stop whining about the bed, remember?" interrupted Leia. "Han, look." She wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a long kiss. "There, that's your payment for leaving the room. I will tell you everything soon, I promise."

Han rolled his eyes around and grinned at the same time. "All right, you win. Again." He turned around and headed for the door.

"Hey kid," he said to Luke as he exited.

"Hi Han," replied Luke, trying not to grin at the scene he had just witnessed.

Once Han was out of the room, Leia immediately wanted him to come back. He would distract her from the issue at hand, and he would further delay the second telling of the truth. Now that he was gone, the awkwardness and uneasiness was returning to her. How could she do this? Once again she was wishing she was somewhere else, somewhere back in time, back before she had freed Padme and subjected herself to this.

"Why do you want to talk with me?" Padme asked.

Leia's mind flew through a hundred different ways that she could answer that question, none of which appealed to her. No matter what she said or how she said it, it always reached the same conclusion: the conclusion of shock. She would be subjecting her mother to the same hard, cold shock that she had been feeling since last night, only for Padme it might be even more intense. Leia briefly toyed with the idea of never telling her, of allowing her mother to avoid what she was feeling right now. But no...that wouldn't work. Padme had a right to know the truth, no matter how shocking it may be.

Since Padme would have to know the truth no matter what, the simplest approach seemed to be the best one. Yes...yes...the simplest approach.

Leia throughly cleared her throat. "I...I have someone I'd like you to meet." She gestured towards Luke. "This is my twin brother." She winced ever-so-slightly before uttering her difficult next sentence.

"His name is Luke."

AN: Hee hee, two cliffhangers in a row! Yeah, I know, I'm evil. :D Next chapter will hopefully be coming real soon.


	8. Chapter 8

"My Mother"

By EsmeAmelia

Chapter 8

AN: Wow...over 100 reviews! Thanks so much for reading. Okay, now on with the story!

Padme's entire body became engulfed in a wave of shock, stimulating every muscle to tighten to its limit. Her nerves were shaking inside her skin, with a similar violence to how her body had shaken after her decarbonization. As her lungs fiercely struggled to breathe, her thoughts were whisked into turmoil. She was unable to focus on anything in her head, unable to comprehend the idea that had just been presented to her. In the whirlwind of her mind, only one word could clearly be grasped by her soul.

_NO!_

"No!" she gasped in the small voice of one fighting for air. "No...no...no..." Her head began shaking with determination. "You're not them...you can't be them...no...I can't have been frozen for that long!"

Her eyes frantically searched Leia and Luke's faces for any signs of hope, any signs that she was wrong, any signs that they were not her children and her children were still babies. But all she got were signs of anxiety, fear, and uncertainty.

"Our father was Anakin Skywalker," Luke said softly.

_Was?_ Past tense? Padme's breath tightened even more at the thought that not only were her twins grown up, but her husband was now referred to as something in the past. Was he...her mind blocked out the rest of the sentence, protecting her from further emotional damage.

She looked again at the man and woman in front of her, realizing for the first time that her eyesight was now completely back to normal. The two figures were now fully focused and detailed beings.

The man had Anakin's blonde hair, with wide eyes that showed a past of hardship, but also a future of hope. In his eyes, she saw both Anakin's rebellious spirit and her own disciplined responsibility. The more she looked into his eyes, the more she saw confirmation that yes, he was a combination of the two of them in the most literal way.

Her son.

Her eyes moved to focus on the woman, the woman who had already showed her so much kindness. This woman's hair was the same shade of brown as her own, and she stood straight, with a dignified demeanor. In her eyes Padme saw authority, intelligence, and strengh, but also signs of melancholy, perhaps a troubled past. She saw a woman of wisdom, courage, and heart.

Her daughter.

Her son. Her daughter. Her son. Her daughter. Those words traveled around to every point of her head until reality had completely swallowed her. In what had been a moment to her, years had gone by: years that had aged her babies into adults. She had missed their entire childhood, the time when she should have been playing her role as a mother. Her body suddenly became cold, almost as cold as when she had awakened from freezing. The overwhelming thoughts spinning around in her head were robbing her of her warmth.

She had only just given birth.

They were still babies.

No...now they were adults.

What had happened?

She had nearly died in the hospital.

Should she have died?

Was that what the freezing was about - to prevent her death?

What if she had died?

At least this wouldn't be happening.

Perhaps in the afterlife she might have seen her babies grow up.

No, this wasn't right - her twins were still babies!

Still babies!

This was a dream.

A dream!

She would wake up soon with her babies at her side.

Any moment now...

No, no, it wasn't a dream.

It wasn't a dream.

This was the real world.

Her children were now adults in the real world.

They had grown up without her.

Without her...

Those thoughts all piled up in Padme's head in the course of a few seconds, threatening to overtake her and carry her to the world of the insane, but somehow, her psyche managed to fight back. Somewhere in her mind was another thought: a thought that she could handle this, that she didn't need to passively allow herself to be conquered by the truth.

The truth did not conquer her, but it did not leave her alone either. When it could not overtake the head, it went to the eyes, filling them up with tears. It was only a moment or two before the eyes were overflowing, emitting tears that streamed down her cheeks.

The tears grew more intense as new thoughts joined the old thoughts: specific thoughts of all the times that she could never get back.

She would never feed her babies from her body.

She would never see their first steps.

She would never hear their first words.

She would never teach them how to feed themselves.

She would never see them learn how to read.

She would never see them lose their first teeth.

She would never even carry them in her arms.

Gone forever. Their entire childhood was gone forever. Those moments and infinitely more moments where she would have played her role as a mother were gone forever. Every moment she missed, every hug she would have given or tear she would have wiped away, every game she would have played or misbehavior she would have scolded, pushed another tear out of her eyes, soon causing her to sob hysterically. One of her grown-up children - she was too distraught to notice which one - placed a box of tissues next to her, which she hastily dug into, but the tears were coming too fast to clean off.

Leia and Luke watched as their mother broke down in devastation, neither one knowing what to do. Nothing they could do or say would comfort her at this point, when she was grieving the loss of so much.

Leia took her brother's hand and led him towards the door. "Come on," she said. "We should let her have a little time alone."


	9. Chapter 9

"My Mother"

By EsmeAmelia

Chapter 9

AN: Woo, man, I never expected this story to get such positve feedback! Thank you everyone! You guys are what keeps me writing.

The day wore on without much conversation between anyone in the Solos' apartment. Luke and Leia tried several times to talk about their mother and what they were going to do about this, only to find that neither one had much to say, for their heads were too full of thought to tell their mouths to say too much. Han made a few attempts to talk to Leia, which would only result in argument, as Leia was still too distressed to reveal anything to her husband. Since the stress level in the apartment was so great, C-3PO and R2-D2 often succeeded in annoying the others.

Still alone in the bedroom, Padme cried timelessly, with no idea of how many minutes or hours were elapsing. When the tears finally started to die down, she found that she had completely lost her sense of what time of the day it was. Not that she cared much, anyway. She had lost years and years already - what difference would a few more hours make?

Her head now ached from crying, and her throat still felt clogged up. As she wiped her eyes and attempted to breathe normally, she realized that she had been in bed all day. She should get out of bed. After what she had just gone through, she was able to get a small amount of comfort from thinking about something so simple.

But it turned out that even getting out of bed wasn't so simple. Her legs felt stiff and heavy as she carefully swung them over the side of the bed. Then, when she slowly tried to stand up, they felt too weak to support her. She did manage to stand up for a few seconds, and even take a few steps, but then she grew so dizzy that she collapsed in the chair next to the bed.

She felt like crying again. How much had the carbonite robbed her of? Didn't she walk just after she was freed? Then she reminded herself that the last time she walked, she had been blind and supported. Supported by her daughter. Her daughter...no, she wasn't going to break down again. She wasn't.

Her eyes surveyed the room. The first thing they caught was a dresser on the other side of the room, above which a large mirror hung. A mirror. A pane of glass that would show what she now looked like. From where she was sitting, she appeared to be no different from how she looked before she was frozen, but this distance was not trustworthy. She needed a closer look.

Her arms pushed the rest of her body out of the chair as she again attempted to stand up. This time, she made better progress: she actually managed to walk across the room, albeit with wobbly steps. Once she was within arm's reach of the dresser, she quickly grabbed onto it for support. Her arms pulled her closer to the mirror, where she opened her eyes widely to get a good look at herself.

She was exactly the same.

Exactly the same as she looked back when she was a senator, back when she was married to a loving husband, back when she was a new mother. Back before she had been plucked out of her own time and whisked many years into the future with no way of returning.

"Lunch!" a voice called from the doorway.

Padme turned her head to see that the voice belonged to Han Solo, who she now realized was her son-in-law. Even he was now making her feel awkward.

"What do you want?" she asked gloomily.

"It ain't a matter of what I want, sister," Han said as he walked up to her and showed her the food tray he carried. "It's a matter of me bein' the only one sane enough to serve you. My wife and brother-in-law have been actin' weird all day."

"Just leave it on the table," Padme said coldly.

Han wrinkled his nose. "Looks like they've passed it on to you. What is this, 'Get Depressed And Don't Tell Han Why Day' or somethin'?"

Padme sighed and lowered her eyes. "I wish I could tell you, but I think your wife wants to be the one to tell you."

"Well if she wants to tell me so much, then how come she's been all moody every time I try talkin' to her?"

Padme raised her eyes to meet the eyes of her son-in-law who didn't know he was her son-in-law. "She'll tell you when she's ready." She turned her head away. "Now can you please leave me alone?"

"Oh, it's also 'Stay Away From Han Day,' I see," Han sneered.

"It's nothing personal, I just want to be alone," Padme breathed. "Please, just go."

"Fine, fine, sister, fine," Han said as he left. "Looks like I'm just a bother to everyone today, even more than usual."

Padme stared at the door after he was gone. Well, he seemed like a nice man for her daughter - crazy and egotistical, but nice. She shivered slightly as his visit brought back a memory of something he had said earlier.

"_It ain't funny, sister! You don't know my father-in-law."_

Another clue to what had happened to Anakin. He had remained a subject of the dark side after she was frozen: her son-in-law had been his victim. Of course, Han hadn't said how long ago or recent his freezing was, but he clearly didn't have a very good impression of his father-in-law...of Anakin.

"You're wrong," she whispered to the air where Han used to be. "I do know your father-in-law. At least, I know who he used to be."

She walked without much difficulty to the table where her lunch was and slumped into one of the chairs at it. _Ani_, she thought, _what have you done? Where are you?_

_-----------------------_

Padme remained in the bedroom as the afternoon slowly passed. She supposed that she could leave the bedroom and attempt to talk to her children, but something was preventing her from doing so. An invisible wall stood around her, confining her to the sanctuary of the bedroom. Here, there was only herself to confront with - her psyche could pretend that her son and daughter were far away. Here in this contained atmosphere, she could delay everything that would inevitably have to happen.

She heard footsteps coming from outside the door. She guessed it was Han returning to serve her dinner, only...the footsteps didn't sound like they were coming from a human. They clanked loudly on the floor, and there was a buzzing sound between them: they were the footsteps of a droid.

A golden-plated protocol droid entered the room carrying yet another tray - and this droid looked oddly familiar.

"Oh, hello miss," the droid said cheerfully. "I am C-3PO, human-cyborg relations. I am serving your dinner in place of Master Han, who at this time is engaged in a bit of a tussle with Mistress Leia. I beg you forgive him, miss, after all, he's only a human, and quite an impossible one at that."

"3PO? Is that you?" The realization that she was seeing Ani's creation again actually pulled her lips upward a bit. She was seeing a small piece of Ani - a piece of his innocence, created when he was a mere child. The memory of when young Ani had showed her 3PO in his incomplete form was stimulated, and, strangely, she could think about it without depression. It even made her a bit...happy.

"Yes indeed, miss," 3PO replied. "I am C-3PO, human-cyborg relations. And who might you be?"

"3PO, it's me," Padme said. "It's Padme."

"Beg pardon, but I don't believe I know any Padme," 3PO said in a confused voice.

Padme was briefly struck silent by his words. A cold knife plunged into the memory in her head, causing that happy time to bleed out sorrowful emotions. "But...but...you lived with us. You...you lived with me and Ani."

"Beg pardon, but I don't believe I know any Ani," 3PO continued. "Master Luke is my master, and before him, I was the property of Captain Antillies."

_He's been mind-wiped._ The notion hit Padme much harder than she would have ever expected. After all, he was a droid. Only a droid. Not a person or other sentient being. He was an artificial imitation of life created for the purpose of serving the living. That was all. Droids were often mind-wiped when new people bought them - why should 3PO not go through that ordeal? It was common.

So why was it hurting? Why was the idea that he didn't remember her or Anakin so painful? It was almost like he was more than a droid, almost like he was a...friend. He was the first bit of familiarity she had seen since her unfreezing, the first bit of familiarity in this strange new world with her adult children. If he remembered her, they might have been able to talk a little about the old times; it would have helped to restore a bit of normalcy in her life. Now, as it was, normalcy seemed completely out of her reach. Was nothing the same anymore, besides her reflection?

"Miss Padme," 3PO asked, "where would you like your dinner?"

"Just leave it on the table," Padme sighed.

-----------------------

Meanwhile, Luke, Leia, and Han were seated around the dining table, eating their dinner in silence. The "tussle" that had resulted from Han's sixth attempt to get Leia to tell him what was bothering everyone and Leia's attempt to get Han to serve Padme dinner had now quieted the room, filling it with silent tension. The tussle now hung in the air, making everyone hesitant to speak for fear that another tussle would result.

Han sighed to himself as he ate. It wasn't _his_ fault. _He_ wasn't the one acting strange. It was only natural to want to know why everyone was acting the way they were - it wasn't _his_ fault that no one was willing to tell him. So what if he had gotten a little loud in his demands? If they had just told him what was going on in the first place, none of this would have happened.

He looked over at Leia and Luke. Neither one was making eye contact with him - they clearly thought he was the reason for the power struggle they had just had. Typical for a princess and a Jedi to blame everything on him and not take responsibility for anything.

After a few more awkward moments, he decided to try to start a civil conversation. "You know, Chewie's comin' back from Kashyyyk next week."

"That's nice," Leia said, still without making eye contact.

Well, that didn't work. Perhaps a different approach would do it. "We're gonna have quite an interestin' story to tell him when he returns." He gave a sly look to the two faces that weren't making eye contact with him. "Course, I don't know any of the main details of the story and you guys can't understand Wookiee, so tellin' him the story might be a bit difficult."

The room immediately erupted in the sounds of Luke and Leia groaning. "Haaaaannnnn," they both said at the same time.

All right, maybe he would finally get some results. "Yeeeessssss?" he replied in a mocking voice.

Suddenly, C-3PO burst into the room. "Master Luke! Master Luke!"

Oh, great. Not Goldenrod!

"3PO, what is it?" said Luke.

"It's Miss Padme, sir, she is acting very odd. She keeps insisting that she knows me, though I haven't the slightest idea what she is talking about. She says I was mind-wiped or some ridiculous nonsense like that. And stranger still, she claims that I now belong to her s..." Luke hastily clamped his hand over the droid's mouth.

"What?" said Han. "Her what?"

Luke and Leia silently looked at each other, then at Han, then at each other again.

"Well?" Han continued. "Her what? For the umpteenth time, what is goin' on?"

Luke sighed. "Leia, we can't delay telling him forever."

"I know, but he's going to think we're nuts," said Leia.

"I'll think you're nuts?" Han repeated. "Is that why you haven't been tellin' me? Ya think the way you're actin' isn't enough to convince me that you're nuts?"

"Han, calm down," Leia said firmly. She breathed deeply. "All right, I'll tell you. It's going to come as a big shock and you most likely won't believe it, but I'll tell you." Her breath seemed to stop for a moment before she revealed the reason for everything to her husband. "Han..." Her breath seemed to stop again. "Han..."

"Well?" said Han. "Come on, spill it, I know there's gotta be more to this than my name."

Leia inhaled deeply through her nose. "Han...Padme is my mother."

Han felt his stomach drop. His eyes bulged. "What?"

"She's telling the truth," said Luke. "Padme is our mother."

After a moment or two of allowing the shock to waver, Han's bulging eyes returned to their normal size and his mouth formed a sneer. "Oh, very funny, guys. Ya know, that's both dishonest and an insult to my intelligence."

"What intelligence, laserbrain?" snapped Leia. "See, I told you that you wouldn't believe us, but it's the truth."

"Oh, you really expect me to buy that your mommy who's been dead for twenty-three years was frozen underneath an old medical center for all that time?"

"Mistress Leia, if I may," said 3PO, "the odds of that woman being your mother are approximately four-trillion, eight-hundred-eighty-eight billion, six-hundred-twenty-five million, three-hundred-forty-one thousand, two-hundred-eighty-nine to one."

For a moment Luke, Leia, and Han all stared at the droid with gaping faces before Leia finally said, "3PO, when we want to be told the odds, we'll ask for them."

"Well, you heard Goldenrod," Han said smugly.

"Since when do you believe in odds?" exclaimed Leia.

"Since a few seconds ago when they were on my side," said Han with one of his cocky grins.

"Han," Luke quickly cut in, "why would we lie to you about this?"

Though Han couldn't think of any reasons why his wife and brother-in-law would lie to him about this, he still refused to believe it. The notion was just too odd and unsettling. He had already been uncomfortable by another person who was carbon frozen, but the idea that she was Luke and Leia's mother was too unbelievable to comprehend. Then of course, there was also the issue that he hadn't exactly had the best of luck with his father-in-law; he wasn't exactly eager to get close to his mother-in-law. Sure, she had been pretty cute and easy to talk to, but first impressions are sometimes misleading, and...wait a minute, she _wasn't_ his mother-in-law, so he wouldn't have to worry about her connections with Darth Vader, because there _weren't_ any. Even though he couldn't think of any reasons why, Leia and Luke were lying to him.

"Let me know when you're ready to tell me the truth," Han snapped as he stormed out of the room.

---------------------------------

After Leia finished her dinner, she headed into the living room to see if Han would be in a better mood to talk. Maybe all he needed was a little bit of time, and then he would accept what she had told him. Of course, that wasn't likely with Han. If Han was determined not to believe her, it would take scientific proof to convince him that Padme was her mother, and he might not even believe it then. Leia sincerely hoped that they could settled this without blood testing Padme, but knowing Han, she knew it was probably a feeble hope. Still, there was no sense in giving up trying.

In the living room, she found Han changing into his nightclothes. "What are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm goin' to bed," Han replied. "I've had enough of this crazy day."

"Isn't it a little early?" said Leia.

"Well, if the rest of the evenin's gonna be anything like the morning and afternoon have been, I don't think I'll miss anything if I sleep through it."

Leia sighed. "Han," she said carefully, "I know it's difficult to accept, but it's the truth. Padme is my mother."

Han sneered. "Well, tell my mama-in-law that I really appreciate how her husband or whatever he was to her treated me. Oh boy, I just loved that torture machine!"

Now Leia was beginning to understand why Han was reacting so strongly to the idea. "Han," she said gently, "you've talked to her - you came pretty darn close to flirting with her, in fact - and you've seen that she's not like Darth Vader."

"A half-hour of conversation ain't enough to know what she's really like," Han snapped before he flopped down on the sofa. "Now good night!"

"Look, I hate Darth Vader too," said Leia, "but Padme isn't like him. I've strongly felt the light side in her."

Han pulled the blankets over his head. "Good night!"

"You liked her when you met her, admit it. I could see you were having a really good time with her."

"Good night!" Han repeated in a louder voice.

"Han please," said Leia, "do you always have to be so unreasonable?"

"I SAID GOOD NIGHT!" Han shouted from under the covers. "I DON'T WANNA HEAR ANYMORE ABOUT HER, WHO BY THE WAY IS _NOT_ MY MOTHER-IN-LAW!"

Leia sighed and took a few steps away from the sofa, but then she stopped and turned back to face the Han-shaped lump in the covers. "Denial," she said loudly. "Often the first step in recovering from shock."

Han moaned. "Do I have to say it yet again?"

"No," Leia said as she pranced back to the sofa. She leaned over and peeled the covers away from Han's face. "It's my turn to say it." She kissed Han on the cheek. "Good night."

Leia returned to the dining room to find that Han wasn't the only one who was turning in early. Luke was now sound asleep with his head on the table. She was about to wake him when 3PO hobbled up to her and placed his metal hand on her shoulder.

"Mistress Leia," he said, "Master Luke seems to be quite tired from today's events. It appears that the mental stimulation that he has received today from that shocking news, if that is indeed true, has exhausted him and caused his body to shut down. If I may, I would suggest allowing him to restore himself."

Leia nodded. "Well, you're all welcome to spend the night here. I have a feeling Luke will want to talk to our other guest tomorrow, anyway."

She headed to the hall closet and fetched a blanket, which she draped over Luke's shoulders. She smiled at her brother - he looked rather cute like this. Even when he was sleeping, there was something comforting about his presence. Perhaps it was the knowledge that there was someone else going through basically the same thing she was going through - someone else who understood. Or maybe it was simply their innate bond as twins. Even when she had first seen Luke entering her cell on the Death Star, she had sensed a connection between them.

Like how she sensed a connection with Padme.

The sigh emitting from Leia's lips turned into a groan when she shifted her eyes from Luke to the rest of the table, which was covered with dirty dishes. Well, now she at least had a distraction. It looked like she would be washing the dishes by herself tonight.


	10. Chapter 10

"My Mother"

By EsmeAmelia

Chapter 10

AN: Thanks again for the wonderful reviews!

Leia purposely took a long time washing the dishes. At the end of such a hectic day as this one, a simple task such as washing a dish proved to be quite pleasurable. Her mind could take a break from thinking about the current issues in her life and instead focus on getting the food off the plates.

But the plates were not infinite, and hence the task had to come to an end. As soon as Leia put away the last dish she was brought back to the real world, with its unexpected turns, such as the shocking treasure she had discovered yesterday.

She headed for the living room, where she was greeted by the music that often lulled her to sleep at night, otherwise known as Han's snoring. The sight of him peacefully sleeping on the sofa brought to mind how much he had complained about losing his side of the bed, almost causing her to laugh because it was obvious that he was perfectly able to fall asleep in places other than their bed. Then an idea came to her, an idea that might help the both of them to feel better.

She walked up to the sofa and gently placed her hand on Han's head. "Han?" she said softly. "Han honey, wake up."

Han slightly opened his eyes. "Mmmm...what?" he mumbled sleepily.

Leia found that she couldn't speak. She was going to suggest that Padme could move to the sofa and Han could take his side of the bed back, but something kept her lips from moving. Something was sending a message to her: a message that she shouldn't do this, that Padme should have his side of the bed for at least one more night.

"Um...nevermind," she finally said. "Go back to sleep."

Han closed his eyes and immediately seemed to fall back asleep, leaving Leia alone to deal with her mind. Darn that Force! Did it always have to interfere? What did it have against her spending a normal night with her husband?

No, it had nothing against that idea in general, but it wanted something else to happen on this particular night, and Leia knew what that something else was. There was a mother in the bedroom who had missed the first twenty-three years of her children's lives. There was a daughter in this room who had spent the first twenty-three years of her own life without her mother. Those twenty-three years could never be recovered, but the years of the future still carried potential for a strong relationship, and that strong relationship of the future could begin at any time. The future could begin any week, any day, any hour, any minute, any second, even...tonight.

-------------------------------------

In the bedroom, Leia found Padme sitting on the edge of the bed, her elbows resting on her knees, her chin resting on her hands, and her eyes staring ahead in a distraught expression. She only caught a glimpse of this position, however, since the instant Padme saw her daughter she sprung to her feet.

Their eyes met, and time stopped. Leia was once again pulled into Padme's soul, pulled away from the outside world. It seemed that she was back in her recurring dream, back in the moment when her life began and she first used the gift of sight. Yes...those were the eyes. The same eyes that she had dreamed about since the beginning of her life in this world were now looking at her again. Although this was not the first time she had connected her eyes with Padme's since Padme's unfreezing, it was the first time when one of them was not experiencing shock, sadness, or uncertainty. Now both souls were able to simply absorb the moment.

Leia remained under the spell of her mother's eyes until a tear leaked out of one of them, causing the eyes to turn away from her as Padme wiped away the tear.

"I'm sorry...I'm sorry," Padme said in a voice struggling not to weep as she covered her face with her hands.

How could Leia respond? "It's all right"? "I understand"? None of those simple little phrases could quench the pain of so many years lost. Rather than feebly try to make things better with one of those phrases, Leia chose to acknowledge the pain with an action: she reached out one hand to touch Padme's shoulder, allowing the touch to soothe her.

After a few moments of absorbing her daughter's touch, the sobs that were threatening to overtake Padme seemed to fade away, as if Leia's hand could ease her pain.

"By the way..." she said in a small voice, "...thank you. You know, for rescuing me."

Leia gave a bittersweet smile. "I just wish I could have found you sooner."

Padme's face seemed to soften a bit at her statement. Her lips very briefly and very slightly moved upward, but that was enough for Leia. She took the nearly-indistinguishable gesture of Padme's lips to be the best way that she could return the smile at the moment.

"Well, anyway," said Leia, figuring that conversation was best for both of them, "you've been in those clothes for twenty-three years - you must want to change." She made her way to the closet and pulled out a light blue nightgown. "Here, I think this will fit you," she said as she handed the gown to Padme.

"Thank you," Padme said in that same small voice. She took the gown and disappeared into the small refresher unit that was adjacent to the bedroom. Once she was gone, Leia let out a long exhale, as though she had been holding her breath for the entire time that she was with her mother. Her heart was beating at a rapid rate, stimulated from emotion. In an attempt to restore normalcy, she headed for the closet again, this time fetching a nightgown for herself.

She changed quickly, throwing her clothes on the floor and promising herself that she would never let anyone know that she had adopted her husband's annoying habit of clothes-tossing. It was only for one night - she wouldn't let it become_ her_ habit. She then headed for the dresser, where she began undoing the tight braids that had been in her hair since before she had discovered her mother. Only a day and a half ago, and yet it seemed to be ages back. It was almost like she had been in a different world back then, a dream world where she was oblivious to a very important truth.

As she slowly ran the brush through her hair, she concentrated on her reflection in the mirror. Her eyes, her nose, her mouth, her cheeks, her hair, her neck, her ears, her chin...they were all exactly the same as they were before this. So what was different? She looked the same, and yet there was something very different. It was obvious, but exactly what it was could not be placed.

She might have been able to place it if Padme's face hadn't appeared in the mirror next to her.

Padme's eyes were looking slightly to the left, indicating that she was studying not her own reflection but Leia's. In fact, her eyes appeared to be firmly focused on her daughter's reflection. What was it that fascinated her?

"Your hair looks very nice down," Padme's reflection said after a few seconds of studying her daughter's reflection.

"Well...thank you," Leia replied. She continued to look at the mirror - it seemed easier to talk to Padme's reflection than Padme herself. "Han always tells me that I should wear it down all the time, but it's just too hard to handle without something to hold it."

Would her hair be the magical thing that brought mother and daughter together? Leia wondered. It seemed silly, but it seemed to be working a bit.

"I think Han's right," Padme's reflection said. She then glanced down at the dresser and picked up an object that seemed to take her interest. "What's this?"

Leia's eyes shifted focus from the reflected world to the real world in order to see the object that Padme held in her hands. It was a holo of Leia and Han - Leia wearing a long white gown with a matching veil and Han wearing a formal suit that looked very out-of-character for him. Both were staring at the observer with smiles so wide that they almost seemed to burst out of the confined area of their faces.

"Is that your wedding?" Padme asked in a voice that sounded almost afraid to know the answer.

Leia felt her heart sink, for it was indeed her wedding. Yet another time that Padme had missed and could never get back. Leia suddenly felt that the smile she was wearing in the holo was a foolish, naive smile. At the time, she had thought it was an absolutely perfect day. Now she saw that it wasn't perfect, no, for something very important was missing.

Her mother hadn't been there.

Padme stared at the holo for what seemed like a considerably long time. Leia waited for tears or sobs to come, but strangely, they never did. Her mother's face was fixed in an empty expression, one that seemed to be neither happy nor grieving, but simply observing.

"You look beautiful," she finally said.

She started to hand the holo to Leia, but Leia pushed her hands back. "Keep it," she said. "We can have another copy made."

"What? Are...are you sure?"

"Yes," Leia said sincerely. Sure, she would have to face Han's wrath at her giving away one of their wedding holos, but as she had told Padme, they could have another copy made, while Padme could _never_ have her daughter's wedding back. She deserved a small piece of the wedding she could never attend.

Padme looked back down at the wedding holo, breathing a few times as a tiny smile overtook her lips. It appeared that owning a tangible part of her daughter's wedding brought her a bit closer to feeling as though she had actually been there. "Thank you," she said between breaths.

Leia smiled back, this time almost happily. "Take good care of it."

"I will," Padme said with the enthusiasm of a child who had just gotten her first speeder.

Well, there was a moment. The first moment of true warmth between mother and daughter had occurred with the passing of a wedding holo. That moment had shown that warmth was possible, that they still had potential for a loving, happy relationship even after so many years apart.

Leia cleared her throat. "Anyway..." She glanced at the bed. "...as my husband is fond of reminding me, you have his side of the bed."

The uncertainty returned to Padme's eyes when she too glanced at the bed. "H-he can have it back if he wants - I'm well enough to sleep somewhere else." Despite the moment of warmth that had just occurred, her voice sounded awkward and reluctant to agree to what Leia was implying. The moment of warmth had still been only that - a moment. Many more moments were needed for a true relationship.

Leia tried to keep her voice in a casual tone. "He's already gone to sleep on the sofa, and trust me, he _hates_ being woken up. And well, we only have_ one_ sofa, and you don't have _my_ side of the bed, so..."

Padme's eyes were now wide - she appeared very uncomfortable with the idea. In truth, Leia was uncomfortable as well, but she felt that they needed to do this. Being together in sleep for those many uninterrupted hours would be a first step for their souls - it would allow each of them to begin to get used to the presence of the other without having to be conscious for it.

Finally Padme gave a slight nod. "All right," she said in a reluctant voice.

Leia took the leadership position and climbed into bed first, wondering if Padme would have the courage to follow. She watched as her mother placed the wedding holo back on the dresser, the place where it might as well go while she was still staying here. Leia bit her tongue in both anticipation and nervousness. Padme was coming to her. Her mother would be next to her. Next to her for the whole night. As Padme crawled in under the covers, Leia felt the same awkwardness that she had been feeling for the entire day, but she felt something else as well - a strangely soothing feeling, almost like her mother was giving her security.

Once Padme was in bed, Leia almost instantly reached up and turned off the bedroom lights, allowing darkness to cover them. The lights coming from the buildings outside provided an eerie glow, making Padme visible but not distinguishable. Leia closed her eyes, letting herself be completely encased by darkness, as she was in her dream, before her mother gave her light.

Even with her eyes closed, this felt different from a regular night. Well...of course it was different - Han's arms weren't wrapped around her and he wasn't snoring in her ear. But no...that wasn't why it was different. Besides, she and Han didn't sleep wrapped around each other _every_ night - that couldn't be why it felt so different tonight. Then she realized that the reason why it felt different had nothing to do with Han's absence. Her Force senses could feel an unusual presence next to her - a presence that she didn't usually sleep with. No...no...that wasn't it either. Even if she wasn't Force-sensitive, this would feel different. Tonight, her mother was with her. Her _mother._ No matter how many times her head repeated the word to itself, it still came as something almost completely incomprehensible.

"Good night, Leia," she heard Padme's voice say - the first time she had called her daughter by name.

"Good night," Leia repeated. She wanted to return the gesture and call Padme by name: by the name that children were supposed to call their mothers, but her lips could not form the word. Her soul was not yet ready to call Padme "Mom" - it still needed time for the idea to sink further into her head and flow into her spirit.

She sank her head into the pillow and even smiled a bit. What was it about the presence of a parent? When frightened by nightmares or storms or other things disturbing about the night, children often climbed into bed with their parents, as though their parents had some sort of magical power that made all the scary things go away. So...this was what it was like. Leia had never experienced lying in bed with a parent when she was growing up - a princess was supposed to be brave and handle things on her own. She had never felt this protected, secure, comfortable feeling before.

It felt good.

As sleep began to claim her, she tried to resist. She wanted to remain in this feeling; she wanted to savor her mother's presence for as long as she could. But the long amount of time she had spent awake, the shock from her discovery, and the emotional stress of the day had exhausted both her mind and body. It was only a matter of minutes before she drifted into a deep, comfortable sleep.

----------------------------------

Far into the night, Padme awoke to the sound of someone coughing. No, not coughing, it was stronger than coughing. The cough-like noises came in long, intense sections of sound, followed by silence, followed by more long, intense sections of sound. They seemed to be coming from behind the closed door of the refresher. Then Padme realized that Leia was missing. Leia was missing. It must be Leia producing those coughing sounds. Was she sick? Was something wrong with her? Apparently the twenty-three years of hibernation hadn't done anything to hinder Padme's instinctive concern for her children - for a moment she was in near-panic. Her breath came out in rough gasps as she wished those sounds would cease.

Finally Leia emerged from the refresher, with her hand clutching her head, looking rather nauseated even in this dim light. "Oh, I'm sorry," she said between heaving breaths. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"Are you all right?" Padme found herself exclaiming.

"Yes...I'm fine...I'm fine...just let me sit down..." Leia said as she quickly sat down on the bed.

Padme almost shot up to a sitting position and instinctively reached out and touched Leia's head. "What happened? Are you sure you're all right?"

Leia groaned. "It's just a bit of morning sickness that came in the middle of the night this time."

Padme's stomach flipped. "Mor-morning sickness?" she struggled to say.

Leia gave a long sigh. "Well...I guess this news will be easier to hear than the other stuff you've heard today. See...I'm pregnant."

Padme's stomach seemed to drop out of her body. _Pregnant?_ Her daughter was not only married but _pregnant?_ Which meant...

"I'm...I'm going to be a grandmother?" Padme breathed.

Leia gave a small nod.

Padme leaned against the back of the bed, nearly unable to take in all that had happened in the last day. "I'm going to be a grandmother," she repeated in a stunned voice. "I'm going to be a grandmother. And it seems like only yesterday when I became a mother." She sighed half-jokingly, half-seriously. "_Literally_ it seems like only yesterday."

Leia sighed again. "Well, if you can joke about it, that must mean you're handling it pretty well."

"What if I don't know whether or not I was joking?"

"I'd still say you're handling it pretty well," said Leia. "Many people probably would have snapped by now."

Padme slowly reached out her hand. "May I?"

"You won't feel anything yet, but sure." Leia moved closer so that Padme could touch her stomach.

Padme felt the softness of Leia's skin underneath her thin nightgown. True, it felt like an ordinary stomach, but the knowledge that it was _not_ ordinary, the knowledge that there was _life_ developing in it, caused this stomach to feel different, special, almost ethereal. Her own stomach had felt this same way when she discovered that she was pregnant so long ago, when it ceased to be an ordinary part of the body and became a sanctuary for new life.

"How far in are you?" Padme asked after a few seconds.

"The doctors told me I'm five weeks in," said Leia. "That was four days ago when I found out."

"Are you going to find out the gender when it's big enough?" Padme wasn't sure why she asked this casual question, but it seemed that while the subject was her daughter's pregnancy, life was flowing easier for some reason.

"No, we want a surprise," said Leia. She grinned a little. "Although...we already know the number."

"Number?"

"We know I'm going to have twins."

"Twins?" Padme exclaimed. "What, do twins run in the family or something?"

"I dunno, but be glad 3PO isn't here to tell us the odds."

The mention of 3PO seemed to bring her mind back down to its previous state of despair as she was reminded of his memory wipe. No...she wouldn't go down...she would fight...she would...keep talking. This conversation was doing something to her mood - she needed to keep it up.

"So...how did your husband react when he found out?" she asked.

Leia grinned wider. "Let's say it involved several loud whoops, a dance around the room, picking me up and spinning me around, and then dinner at my favorite restaurant, all the while bragging about how it was his idea to make love on the night the babies were conceived."

Padme grinned back. "You seem to have very...interesting taste in men."

"He's not as crazy as he looks," said Leia. "Well...yes he is, but he has a way of growing on you."

"I like him," said Padme. "He's got real personality."

"Tell me about it," said Leia, rolling her eyes. "Sometimes he's got too much personality to handle."

That statement caused small giggles to flow from both of their mouths. Another moment of warmth had occurred, this one longer than the last. The shields that both souls had up around them were beginning to crack open.

But it seemed that moments of warmth died easily without effort to keep them alive. Once the giggles ended, Padme felt the discomfort and sadness returning to her. Without a distraction, and in the presence of her daughter, her mind started to drift into the still-unanswered question, the question that she had been protecting herself from, the question which she feared to know the answer to. She could ask the question now...yes, her daughter was here, her daughter would surely know the answer...no...no, she couldn't do this...not now...not when she was still adjusting to her children...no...she didn't want to know the answer yet...she wanted to be in the dark for a little while. But perhaps she had the courage to answer a question that would give her clues...

"Leia..." she said after a deep breath, "...were you and Luke raised by your father?"

She thought she heard a small gasp come out of Leia's lips before she spoke. "No," she answered. "In fact, we were raised separately with no knowledge of each other's existence. I was raised by Bail Organa on Alderann, and Luke was raised by his - our - aunt and uncle on Tatooine."

"Owen and Beru," said Padme. "I met them once." She bit her lip as the harsh memory of Anakin's unsuccessful attempt to save his mother came to her mind.

"I never knew them," said Leia. "They died a few years ago."

Padme was on the verge of asking how they died, but something stopped her, as though something was warning her that this question would lead her to answers she didn't want to know. Instead, she shifted the focus to Leia's upbringing. "I knew Bail Organa as well - he was a member of the Republic Senate, as I was."

"He was a wonderful father..." Leia said in a sad, almost mourning voice.

"So...so he's dead too?"

Leia breathed deeply and gave a small nod.

Padme thought of asking how he died, but the warning sign came into her head again, telling her that she did not want to know the answer right now. A small stab of jealousy entered her mind. "Wonderful father," her daughter had called Bail Organa. Anakin should have been that "wonderful father." And Leia and Luke should have grown up together, with their parents; they should have had those years of being a happy family. But now it could never be.

"Well...is his wife still living?" she found herself asking without thinking.

"No," replied Leia. "She died when I was three years old - I barely remember her." She gave a tiny sigh. "I always knew I was adopted, but whenever I asked about my real parents, I was never told anything. It was like...it was like he was afraid to tell me."

_Well, with one parent turned evil and another parent frozen in carbonite, I can see why,_ thought Padme goomily.

Leia then turned to face Padme, looking into her eyes in the dim light. "I saw you, though. I saw you in my dreams. Over and over again, you came to me. I was left with a tiny gift of your memories. Strange, I knew my adopted mother longer, but I never dreamed about her." She reached out and placed her hand on Padme's cheek. "I dreamed about you."

Padme absorbed her daughter's touch, taking in the softness of her hand and the innate bond that came with it. By practical standards, she was almost a stranger...but she was not a stranger. This was one of the lives that had started inside of her...one of the fruits of her love with Anakin...one of the miracles that had blessed her. Her nerves began tingling once again, this time not from shock or sadness but from joy. Even if it was only for this moment, she could feel joy to be with her daughter. Her process of coping was not over...no...there would still be times of grieving...but right now, she could simply feel the pure joy that was engulfing her soul.

Nothing more was spoken for the rest of the night. After Leia removed her hand from Padme's cheek, the two almost unconsciously lay back down, once more settling in for the night, wanting that long moment of warmth to remain with them. As sleep overtook the mother and daughter, the moments of warmth followed them into their heads, allowing each to dream about the other.


	11. Chapter 11

"My Mother"

By EsmeAmelia

Chapter 11

AN: Again, thanks for reviewing! Sorry it took me longer than usual to update - this chapter was VERY difficult to write.

The next morning, Padme was the first one awake. As she opened her eyes, the first thing that she saw was the beautiful face of her sleeping daughter, her closed eyelids directly facing her. The long, soft breaths emitting from her nose hypnotically entered Padme's ears and held her eyes still, keeping them focused on Leia's angelic face. How beautiful she was. How absolutely, completely beautiful she was. Padme grinned to herself when she realized how she was thinking. She was thinking like a mother, endlessly gushing about her child. Last night had broken a barrier and allowed her to start accepting her fully-grown daughter.

But though she was beginning to accept her reality, there was still sadness surrounding it. Looking at her daughter in slumber also made her think about the little moments that could have been, the moments of rocking her babies to sleep and then whispering with Anakin about how precious they looked when they were asleep. Those moments where parents could savor their little blessings. Those moments that would never be hers.

Or Anakin's.

She slowly sat up and once more looked around the room she had been in for more than a day. Somehow, the room seemed smaller, perhaps because she had been in it for more than a day. She suddenly felt an urge to leave, an urge to explore, and urge to see the rest of the place where her daughter lived.

Gradually she got out of bed, being extremely careful not to wake up Leia. She strode towards the door, hesitating only a bit before opening it and beginning her exploration.

Nothing but silence greeted Padme as she made her way down the hall. The absence of sound created the mood of a dormant place, a place void of life. To her eyes, it was luxurious, but to her ears, it was desolate.

When the hall opened into the living room, her ears were relieved to finally hear some sign of life, though it was a sound generally considered unpleasant. Gentle snores were coming from the sofa where somebody lay. A few steps closer to the sofa revealed the sleeper to be Han...her son-in-law. She wondered if her children had told him that he was her son-in-law yet. As she looked at him, her nerves trembled slightly. He appeared to be around thirty - and she had been twenty-seven when she was frozen. Judging by appearance alone, her son-in-law was now older than she was, and her children were only four years younger than her. But then...how old should she now consider herself to be?

It was just too strange to think about now, so she opted not to. To ensure that she wouldn't think about it, she moved away from Han and went to explore the dining room.

She expected an empty room, another place devoid of life, but surprise was there to greet her. Slumped over the table in a deep sleep was Luke. Luke. Her son. The other blessing that had resulted from her love with Anakin. Her eyes started to water. By now she had interacted greatly with Leia, but Luke, the one she had barely seen at his birth, was still neglected. A wave of shame overtook her emotions. She had made no attempt to bond with Luke. Why? Why Leia and not Luke?

But it wasn't too late. Bonding with her son was still possible...after all, here he was in front of her. Right in front of her...and yet he was a thousand miles away. Invisible barriers were once again being built around her, causing her nerves to jump and her mind to whirl. Part of her almost wanted to leave, to escape the presence of her son, but another, stronger part wanted to remain with Luke, holding her in place.

She spent an unknown amount of lingering moments simply looking at him, breathing deeply as he reminded her of Anakin. The many times when she had watched Anakin sleep beside her came into her head. How strangely similar this was to those times. Luke's eyes were shut tightly...the same way Anakin's often were. His hair was draped over his forehead...like Anakin's hair sometimes draped. His steady breath came out of his lips with the slightest sound to it, an odd combination of breathing and snoring...almost exactly the same as Anakin's breathing. A full realization came to her that this was not only her offspring but Anakin's as well.

How she wanted to know him. How she wanted to wake him up and talk to him, like she had talked to Leia last night. Once more, two parts of her were arguing with each other: one part telling her to wake him and another part telling her to let him sleep. Her arm reached out to him and then stopped in mid-reach several times.

The reaching made her aware of something else. She had never touched her son. Even at his birth, it was Obi-Wan who held him, not her. Luke had always been experienced with only her eyes and ears, not her hands, the part that could feel his skin and make her soul completely aware of his existence.

After several long breaths, Padme reached out her hand again, this time not attempting to wake her son but merely wanting to feel him. The last moments before she touched her son seemed to stretch out their length, causing time to slow down and let her linger in these moments when her son's touch was unknown. Her hand was getting closer. Closer...closer...closer...

Her hand landed on his cheek, causing electricity to flow through her veins. His skin communicated so much to her. She felt love, she felt strength, she felt family, she felt...Anakin. The tiniest of gasps escaped her lips. Luke's skin had the same coarse softness that Anakin's had. If she closed her eyes, she might even be able to imagine that she was touching her husband.

Her eyes remained wide open as she ran her hand down his face and let it slip to his right shoulder. A narrow but strong shoulder...like his father. Her hand skimmed down his arm, feeling Anakin's muscular limbs that surprised many an observer with their delicate appearance.

She continued to absorb his arm, now moving her touch down to his hand...

Hardness. Her fingers jumped off his hand from shock at the sudden feeling of metal against them. What? After a moment of recovery, she slowly moved her hand forward again to touch his hand. Still hardness. It appeared to be skin, but it felt like metal. A chill raced down Padme's back as she realized what had happened to her son. He felt far more like her husband than she would like - his right hand felt the same as well. His right hand had met the same fate as his father's right hand. It was gone. Gone. Removed from the body and replaced with metal. One of her baby's little hands was now lost.

A sudden and completely unexpected rage began to boil inside Padme. Who had done this to her son? What had caused it? Her thoughts were overtaken by a single desire: a desire to find out who cut off Luke's hand and...do something to that person. Exactly what she would do was irrelevant - the only thing that mattered was that the person would...suffer. Yes...suffer. Suffer for what he or she had done to her child.

Luke began to stir, interrupting Padme's thoughts of rage. She involuntarily sucked in her breath and held it in her lungs as Luke's eyes slowly opened.

He clenched his teeth as he raised his head, as though suddenly aware of pain and stiffness from a night of sleeping in an uncomfortable position. His eyes squinted shut as his free hand reached behind his neck and stretched his arm. A few grunts escaped his lips before his eyes opened again while facing his mother, interrupting all the strains of waking up and causing his eyes to widen to their maximum capacity.

Another timeless moment of silence as the mother and child looked into each other's eyes followed. Padme saw a hint of fear in Luke's eyes, as though he was afraid to know his mother, but also a hint of fascination, a sign of curiosity about the woman who bore him. The turmoil of emotions stared at her with fixed eyes, unable to look at anything else.

Padme figured that a gentle approach would be best for her son. Ever so carefully, her lips moved up into a smile, a warm smile, a consoling smile, a motherly smile. After a few moments of holding her lips in that position, her lips spoke, keeping that same warm, consoling, motherly tone in her voice.

"Good morning, Luke," she said.

Luke continued to stare at his mother, muted by the stream of emotion. His mouth opened, as though attempting to speak, but no words came out. The words were blocked by the presence of his mother.

"Good morning, Luke," Padme repeated gently.

Finally Luke found his voice. "G–g-good...good morning...Mother," he stammered.

Mother. She had been called "Mother." She had been called by the name for what she was and

what she never got to be. Her heart sped up its beating as her emotions started to return to depression. She should be used to being called "Mother" or "Mom" or "Mama" or whatever her twins decided to call her. By now it should be in her nature to respond to one of those names; it shouldn't sound alien to her. It _shouldn't._ Why, why, why had life turned out this way?

She had to talk. She had to say something to get her head to stop screaming. But what could she say? How could she begin her relationship with Luke? What would break the glass that stood between them?

"Luke...were you here all night?" she asked feebly.

Luke briefly glanced around him. "Yeah...I guess. Must've fallen asleep after dinner. I guess Leia didn't have the heart to wake me." His free hand gripped onto the blanket that was draped over his shoulders. "But it looks like she did have the heart to cover me."

"Your sister has plenty of heart," said Padme.

"Yeah, I know," said Luke.

Both then looked at each other in awkward silence, as though each was waiting for the other to speak. The silence stood nearly tangible between them, blocking the way to conversation, discouraging any dialogue. It would take a great amount of effort to break this silence.

Padme breathed deeply a few times before attempting to speak again. "Luke..." she finally said. "...Luke...I'm sorry."

Luke appeared confused. "For what?"

"For how I've treated you so far. For bursting into tears when I first saw you. For not seeking you out at all afterwards..."

"That's no reason to be sorry, Mother," Luke said quickly. "I didn't seek you out either. We've all been under a lot of stress - it would be natural to distance yourself in this situation."

Padme was about to tell Luke about how yes, there was a reason to be sorry because she had just spent the night with Leia while making no attempt to talk to Luke, but then she thought that there was no real reason to mention it right now. However, the memory of the wedding holo that Leia had given her brought yet another question into her mind.

"Luke...are you married?" she asked without thinking.

Luke appeared even more confused. "No...why are you asking?"

"Well...it's just that..." Suddenly the truth came out. "...Leia's already married and I didn't get to see her wedding, so..."

"Oh, I understand," said Luke.

So Luke wasn't married. Padme might have missed her daughter's wedding, but she could still see her son's. That thought blessed her with a bit of consolation. There was perhaps something in her child's future that she would be a part of.

Luke was now facing downward with an odd expression on his face, like he was studying something on the table. Padme looked down as well and realized what it must be: her hand was still on Luke's artificial hand. Luke must know that she knew about his hand. Now he might tell her what had happened...he might tell her things that she was afraid to know. Wait...why had that thought entered her head that she didn't want to know what had happened to her son? Why would a mother not want to know who had hurt her son? She tried to stop the answers to those questions from coming into her head.

"I lost it in...in a fight," Luke said with a hard swallow.

Padme's lips started shaking and her breath once again became unsteady. "A fight?" she struggled to say.

Luke nodded.

_With whom?_ her head was asking. _Who did this?_ The questions seemed to be filling up her brain to its limit, threatening to explode out of her. She had to know...she had to know...she had to know...

"Who did it?" she finally gasped in a barely-audible voice.

The silence that followed answered her question in a more definite way than words ever could. It felt like a heavy weight had dropped onto her head and knocked her into the world of the dazed. The nerves in her limbs were pushing them, wanting to make them quiver in shock, but her brain wouldn't allow it. Tears again built up in her eyes, but she would not let them fall. The voices that were screaming inside her head would not overcome her...they wouldn't...

_Ani cut off his own son's hand..._her mind was repeating to itself. _Ani cut off his own son's hand...Ani cut off his own son's hand...Ani cut off his own son's hand...Ani cut off MY son's hand!_

Tremble...tremble...that was what her body was screaming to do...but no...she wouldn't...not with Luke here...she would not give him more trouble of another emotional breakdown...

"Yes..." Luke said in a small voice. "Yes...my father did it."

Padme's eyes widened as she looked at him. "What?"

"I could feel your turmoil," said Luke. "Through the Force. You were afraid that my father had cut off my hand."

"The Force?" Padme repeated. So, her son had the Force. Well...of course...of course Anakin's children would be Force-sensitive.

"Yes," said Luke.

Padme inhaled deeply to block any sobs that might escape. Her soul felt empty, dejected..._betrayed._ Betrayed like when Anakin had given his revelation on Mustafar, the revelation that had nearly killed her. For a moment she was back in that time...back when the one she loved had stolen her spirit and betrayed her heart. She squeezed her son's artificial hand, and the hardness of the hand refused to waver to her touch, a permanent reminder of what had happened to her husband.

Luke's real hand reached up and touched his mother's cheek. "I can feel the question in your mind." His fingers stroked her skin, soothing the sobs inside her. "Do you want to know the answer?"

Did she? Was she at last ready to find out where Ani was now, if he was dead or still a slave of the dark side? Or maybe...maybe he was alive and turned back to the good side. Maybe he would be waiting for her somewhere. Yes...he would have aged, but he would still be Ani...they could still pick up their lives...still pick up their love. The thought of that brought a brief peace to her soul. But...if that was the case, then why was Luke even asking if she wanted to know the answer?

The small possibility that she might be reunited with Ani felt like a bright light inside her - a light that was most likely built on false pretenses, but a light that was also bringing her comfort, which was something her spirit was thirsting for so much. She didn't want to let go of this light just yet. No...not yet...not yet...

"No," she finally responded with uneven breaths. "I...want to get to know you first."

Luke nodded understandably. "All right."

Suddenly and unconsciously, Padme threw her arms around her son, stimulating Luke to do the same to her. The first hug with one of her children. Perhaps her subconscious was acting on the instinct to comfort her child when he was hurt, to show him that his mother was here, that his mother would take care of him.

When they released each other, Padme's heart jumped at the sight of her son's face. A tear was streaming down his cheek. A sign that she had touched his soul, the way a mother was supposed to do. The tear served as yet another reassurance that it was not too late, that she could still be a mother.

"Well," Luke breathed, wiping his eye, "are the others awake?"

"I don't think so," said Padme. "At least, they weren't when I got up."

Luke grinned slowly. "Well then, how about we surprise them with breakfast?"

Padme found herself grinning back. She was suddenly excited by the notion of fixing breakfast with her son to surprise her daughter and son-in-law. "I think that's a great idea," she said.


	12. Chapter 12

"My Mother"

By EsmeAmelia

Chapter 12

AN: As always, thanks for the reviews! Again, sorry it took me a while - I've been busy. Well, not much happens in this chapter, but read it anyway. I hope to get the next chapter up soon, but...college starts again tomorrow, and I'll most likely be REALLY busy, so updates might not be as frequent. :-( Anyway, on with the story.

"...so in twenty-three years, you never found the time to tell me that Darth Vader was my maker?"

Han was jolted from sleep by possibly the most annoying sound in the galaxy: the sound of 3PO talking. This was followed by possibly the second-most annoying sound in the galaxy: the sound of R2 beeping a smug response.

"Well the fact that I never asked is completely irrelevant," 3PO said. "When you know something as important as that, you have a duty to share it with those it may concern."

R2 replied with a series of smug beeps as Han pulled the covers over his head.

"Now now, there's no need for language like that."

By now Han was clamping his ears underneath the covers, feebly attempting to block the droids' sounds out.

"And furthermore, how come I was wiped but not you?" 3PO continued.

R2 gave a series of know-it-all beeps.

"You're better at keeping secrets than I am? What is that supposed to mean?"

Han moaned in a groggy voice, which he immediately regretted, since that now caused 3PO to take notice of him.

"Hold on a second R2, I believe you might have disturbed Master Han with your babbling." Han heard the droid's metal footsteps growing louder as they walked toward the sofa. "General Solo," He pulled the covers off of Han's head. "I greatly apologize for R2's behavior. After all, you know how stubborn he is."

R2 beeped angrily.

"What do you mean I'm the one who woke him up? Really R2, I am a protocol droid - my first priority is etiquette, and I doubt you know this, but it is generally considered very rude to talk loudly when a sleeping person is present!"

"It's all right, 3PO," Han sighed. "I don't mind it - your voice is a lovely sound to wake up to."

"Oh, well thank you Master Han," 3PO responded cheerfully.

Han silently rolled his eyes. Sarcasm didn't seem to be part of the droid's programming.

"By the way, I have the most interesting news," continued 3PO. "If what R2 says is true, the man who built me is the same man who froze you in carbonite. That's right, Darth Vader! I swear I can't believe it either. After all, the odds of that are..."

Han shot his hand up to cover 3PO's mouth before he got to the odds part. "Remember what I once said about never tellin' me the odds? Well that still stands."

R2 gave yet another smug beep.

"Well of course he's grouchy, R2," 3PO said once Han released him. "After all, you would be too if you were just woken up by someone as annoying as yourself."

The little astromech droid began rolling away while reciting a string of beeping insults.

"Of course I'm not the reason he's grouchy!" 3PO shouted as he followed R2 out of the room. "You heard him yourself - he finds my voice a pleasant sound to wake up to!"

Han groaned to himself as soon as the droids were gone. So, Darth Vader had built 3PO. Somehow he wasn't surprised - only someone so evil could have created something so annoying.

There were times when he wondered how he was able to keep his sanity with that droid around. For instance, there was this present moment when that droid had rudely awakened him and now he was too awake to get back to sleep.

He slowly raised his head, which made him instantly aware of a neckache that had bothered him for two mornings in a row now - most likely due to sleeping on the sofa. Right...he was on the sofa...because of the woman who had taken his side of the bed...the woman that Luke and Leia now claimed was their mother. He let his head fall back, now _really_ wishing that 3PO hadn't woken him up.

Leia entered the room, wearing her long robe that looked like it was carelessly thrown over her nightgown - apparently she had gotten up only a few minutes before. She had a hand on her hip and a smug expression on her face. "Any chance of you getting up, Flyboy?"

"Depends," Han muttered, "is Mrs. Darth Vader still here?"

"'Mrs. Darth Vader' and Luke happen to be fixing us breakfast," said Leia.

"Good. Save some for me."

Leia gave an exaggerated sigh. "Well at least you finally believe me."

Han stuck his head up to face her. "Now wait a sec, who said I believed you?"

"I believe you did a few seconds ago, when you called Padme 'Mrs. Darth Vader.'"

"Well maybe that was sarcasm - have you considered that?" Han growled.

"Coming from you?" Leia chided as she walked up to the sofa. "Hmm, maybe there's a _small_ possibility of that." She sat down on the end of the sofa, right on Han's feet. "Now come on honey - the meal they're cooking smells wonderful, you don't want to miss it."

"And exactly how can I come if you break my ankles?"

"Oh, like I've never sat on your feet before," Leia scoffed.

Han sat himself up, yanking his feet out from under her. "All right, what's up with you this time?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, yesterday you were all moody and secretive, and now you're actin' all giddy. Are you changin' your moods around just to irk me or somethin'?"

"Huh," said Leia, "sounds like someone got up on the wrong side of the sofa this morning."

Han rolled his eyes. "Technically, I'm still in bed, so I haven't gotten up yet."

"You're awake - that counts as getting up," said Leia.

"It does not."

"It does too."

"Does not."

"Does too."

"Does not."

"Am I interrupting anything?" a feminine voice called.

Both Han and Leia ceased their arguing and looked up to find Padme standing a few feet away from the sofa. Han was briefly appalled by the sight of her - she was wearing one of Leia's dresses: a green one that happened to be one of his favorites. That dress always made Leia look so incredible, so sexy, so absolutely gorgeous - and now Padme was wearing it. The sight of someone else in the dress that was so perfect for Leia felt criminal to Han.

"No, you're not interrupting anything," said Leia. "We're just having a little husband-wife petty debate."

Padme smirked. "Well, can you cease the debate long enough to come to breakfast?"

"Of course," said Leia. "It would have come to the conclusion of me being right, anyway."

Han gritted his teeth in an attempt to refrain from using foul language in front of the guest.

"All right then," said Padme. "See you two in the dining room."

Once Padme left the room, Leia turned to face her husband. "Well, are you coming or not?"

He wanted to say no - oh how he wanted to say no. All he wanted was to stay as far away from that woman who had driven the apartment crazy as possible, but Leia's eyes were giving him the look. The look that said, "Come on honey, please do this for me," and, "You do me a favor and I'll do you one," and, "You'd better do this, or else you'll be pretty sorry the next time you want something from me" all at the same time. How did her eyes do that?

Han gave a large sigh. "All right hon, let's get this over with."

----------------------------------

Padme and Luke had just finished setting the table when Han and Leia entered the dining room, both in bathrobes that were carelessly thrown over their nightclothes. Next to Luke, who was still wearing his clothes from the day before, and Padme, who was dressed extravagantly in Leia's green dress, the couple looked rather out-of-place, but neither Luke nor Padme would say anything about the way they were dressed during this stressful time.

"Hey kid," Han said to Luke. "Care to explain why you're still here?"

"Uh...I was tired after dinner last night," Luke said with an embarrassed look on his face. "By the way, you shouldn't complain about the sofa - the table is far less comfortable."

"I see," said Han.

"But, it gave me a chance to talk to my mother," Luke continued.

"Oh yeah, your mother," Han said sarcastically.

"Look," said Luke, "if you're not going to believe us, then ask her about it."

"Oh, she's in on it too?"

"_Han!"_ Luke hissed.

"Yeah, _Luke?_" Han hissed back.

Luke took a deep breath, allowing the Force to calm him before he spoke again. "Han," he whispered, "whether you believe us or not, please, for everyone's sake, don't talk about Darth Vader during breakfast."

"And whyever not?"

"Because she's very sensitive about it right now," said Luke. "She loved her husband when he was on the good side, and she still doesn't know everything about what happened to him. It should be either me or Leia who tells her, not you. Okay?"

Han grumbled something that Luke couldn't make out, but after a few seconds he did nod in agreement.

"Thank you, Han," Luke said with a smile.

"You owe me one, kid," said Han.

Luke grinned knowingly.

"All right," Padme announced. "Breakfast is served."

The four took their seats at the table, Luke and Leia on either side of Padme, and Han next to Leia, looking like he wished he could sit somewhere miles away.

Luke wanted to talk some more with his mother - he wanted conversation with her to just linger on and on, but once the meal began, there was silence. The same nearly-tangible silence that seemed determined to interfere with the budding relationships between the twins and their mother was interfering once more. After a few minutes of everyone surrendering to this silence, Luke forced himself to say something.

"This toast is really good," he said, knowing it was a lame beginning to a conversation, but at least it was something.

"Thank you," said Padme.

"Yes," said Leia. "Where did you learn to make it?"

"It's a popular recipe on Naboo, my home planet," said Padme. "Have any of you ever been there?"

All three of the others shook their heads.

Padme looked slyly at Han. "Not even the pilot who claims he's flown from one end of the galaxy to the other?"

Han looked like he wanted to sink into the floor, but as was usually his way, he covered it up with a wisecrack. "Look sister, just cause I've flown that whole way doesn't mean I've had time to stop at every planet."

Leia glared at her husband. "Han, please don't call your mother-in-law 'sister.' Can you at least do that?"

"Well I ain't callin' her 'Mom' if that's what you want," snapped Han.

Padme's lips curled. "So I take it - you've told him?"

"Yes," Leia said through gritted teeth, "though I'm beginning to wish I hadn't."

"Don't," said Padme. She faced her son-in-law. "Han," she said gently, "it's all right, I understand. You don't have to call me 'Mom' or anything else."

Luke doubted that Padme truly understood everything going on in Han's mind, but he was glad that she wasn't offended by his behavior. His mother seemed to be a very understanding person in general.

"Anyway," Luke said, thinking it was best to turn the attention away from Han, "you were a senator in the old Republic?"

"Yes," said Padme. "I served as Queen of Naboo for eight years, and then I was chosen to represent the planet in the senate."

"Interesting," said Luke, "Leia's now a senator in the New Republic."

Padme's eyes brightened, as though she was delighted that her daughter was following in her footsteps. "Really?"

Leia gave an embarrassed grin. "Yeah."

"She's gotten herself quite a good reputation, too," said Luke. "Many are even saying that she could become President of the Senate someday."

Leia raised her hand. "Luke, please. Don't give our mother bloated expectations. I have a lot to live up to as it is."

Padme smiled at Leia. "I'm sure you can live up to any expectations," she said, confident in her daughter's abilities even though she had only known her for a little more than a day. She then turned to her son. "And what are you doing now, Luke?"

Luke swallowed uneasily. While he and Padme were making breakfast, the little bit of conversation had been focused on Padme's life, not his - and for a reason. Yes, Padme would inevitably have to know about the fates of all the important people in her life, including her husband, but no harm could come from delaying the telling until they were all more comfortable with this situation.

"Well," he finally said, "right now I'm working on starting a Jedi academy."

Padme raised her brows, staring in silence, as though the mention of a Jedi academy was bringing back memories of times she wanted to forget.

"The Jedi..." she said in a faded voice. "...many of them were killed just before I was...well, you know."

"I know," said Luke, unsure of how to continue.

"The Jedi Order was extinguished when the Empire took control," said Leia. "The few surviving Jedi had to go into hiding. The way I understand it, that's why Luke and I were separated."

It amazed Luke how Leia was able to make such a complicated story sound so simple. Well, now it looked like he had no choice but to continue with this subject, even though he knew it would lead to his mother asking questions. He harnessed the Force in his mind, letting it soothe his nerves.

"I was trained as a Jedi by Master Yoda," he said, "and right now, I'm training Leia. I guess you'd say she's my padawann learner, though I didn't know about that term until this morning. Anyway, now that Palpatine is dead and the Empire has fallen, I would like to seek out other Force-sensitives and open a school for them, so that the Jedi can rise again."

"He's already got two pupils signed up," grinned Leia. "But they'll have to be born first."

"_If_ they want to go," Han cut in. "Don't forget, there's always a chance that one of 'em will want to carry on Dad's occupation instead."

"You mean smuggling?" said Leia. "Not _my_ children!"

"Hey, they're_ my_ children too, ya know!"

"Great," Luke sighed knowingly. "Not even born yet and already their parents are arguing about their futures."

Padme giggled slightly before talking to Luke again. "So, you know Master Yoda?"

"Yes," Luke said, a little uneasily. "Eccentric, but very wise."

Padme nodded. "Exactly what I think of him."

Another silence followed. Luke tried to clear his mind and allow the Force to tell him what to say next, but emotions were hindering him, conflicting emotions of the desire to tell the truth and the desire to not upset his mother any more.

"Do you know Master Yoda, Leia?" Padme then asked.

"No," Leia stated simply. "I never got to meet him."

Padme seemed to be guessing what had happened to Yoda - a brief look of sadness overtook her face.

It appeared that the truth had to come out now. "I was Yoda's last student," Luke forced himself to say. "He died of old age after he trained me."

Padme still said nothing. Luke could feel a deep sense of loss from her, not simply for Yoda, but for her entire old world. He tried to imagine what it must be like to lose everything that was familiar. Perhaps he had a bit of an idea, since he lost his aunt and uncle and then began traveling into the unknown...but no, that wasn't like what Padme was experiencing. _Everything_ Padme knew had changed. She had to face twenty-three years' worth of changes, some of which she didn't even know about yet. How could one possibly handle that? Luke suddenly felt a sense of admiration for his mother and her ability to face her reality as well as she was doing.

"I hope you guys don't mind me leaving this meal early," said Leia. "I have to get dressed - there's a Senate meeting today."

"Of course not," said Padme. "Believe me, I know all about how meetings can interfere with your time."

Han grinned for the first time that morning. "Look out Leia, you'll be getting Mom's advice on how to be a senator soon."

Padme grinned back at him. "Well maybe you'll also soon be getting Mom's advice," she chided gently. "Maybe on hair care, so you won't be so scruffy-looking."

Leia giggled loudly at Padme's remark as Han gave a sneer. "Okay, I believe you," he said in a resentful voice. "She's your mother."

Luke gave a snicker. "Don't worry, Leia," he said. "I'll stay here to keep an eye on these two while you're gone." It seemed that a bit of lightheartedness was what they all needed right now, even if he was risking getting a string of nasty insults from Han.

From Han, there were no nasty insults right now, just an angry glare. From Padme, there was a light giggle at his statement, as though she thought her son had a good sense of humor. Yes, he had made that statement to be humorous, but the real reason why he was staying was far deeper than what he was indicating. Since he had woken up, he had been developing a bond with his mother, and with that bond came respect for her. Respect for her character, respect for her intellect, and respect for her need to know the truth. Yes...she needed to know the truth. Keeping her in denial was merely delaying something that had to happen. Although she had said that she didn't want to know right now, he could feel how deep down, her soul was aching to know where her beloved husband was. She needed to know the truth soon. She needed to know the truth...today.


	13. Chapter 13

"My Mother"

By EsmeAmelia

Chapter 13

AN: Wow, 200+ reviews and counting. Thanks everyone! Woo man...this is the longest and most difficult chapter I've done so far. Hope it lives up to expectations. Warning: Very long and VERY angsty chapter.

Padme gazed out the window, her eyes staring out at the busy skies of Coruscant, following one speeder until it exited from visibility, then following another. She had lost track of how long she had been engaged in this simple activity, but her eyes continued their constant movement in full engagement. The view of Coruscant offered a strange sort of comfort to her. She had no clue as to which part of Coruscant her daughter now lived on, but there was one element that the entire planet shared: the business. The frantic business of the planet was something else that she found had not changed during her long absence from life - it offered her another bit of familiarity.

The planet also stirred up many memories within her, some happy, some painful, many associated with her husband. Every thought of her husband made her chest tighter and made the question in her head scream louder.

_WHERE IS ANI NOW?_ That question was now burning her mind, trying to block straight thought. She wanted so much to just ask Luke to tell her everything...but at the same time, she was terrified of the answer. Ani could now be a complete slave to evil...maybe he didn't even remember her...maybe all he knew now was the dark side. Or perhaps he was dead...perhaps there was no possibility of ever seeing him again. Maybe he had died evil... and her very last time with her husband was when he choked her to unconsciousness on Mustafar. Did she want confirmation of one of these fears in her mind? Was she ready to know the reality of Ani's situation?

"Hey, what'cha doing?"

Her son-in-law's voice brought a thankful interruption to her tormented thoughts, but her eyes remained facing out the window as she answered. "Just...watching the view. I haven't seen this planet in so long...it's refreshing to see that it hasn't changed much."

Han also faced out the window. "Yeah, that view doesn't do much changin'. Gets a bit boring after seeing the ten thousandth speeder zoom past your window."

Padme's lips reflexibly turned upward. Han had a certain way with him. She suddenly felt an urge to talk with him...perhaps he could help her. After all, he had been through an experience similar to her own.

"Han..." she said carefully, "...I know you don't like talking about it, but can I ask you one thing about your carbon freezing?"

Han gave a very noticeable cringe. "And what happens if I say no?"

"Well," Padme gave a sly grin, "when Leia gets back from her senate meeting, I'll tell her about how you refused to talk to me. Then she can deal with you herself."

Han looked exasperated. "Tell me, was it customary for senators to use blackmail in the old Republic?"

Padme simply grinned, knowing that he would do what was requested of him now.

"All right," Han finally said. "But just one question, got that?"

"Agreed," said Padme. "Now, here's my question. How long were you frozen?"

Han took a deep breath. "Leia told me it was six months."

"Only six months?" Padme replied in a slightly disappointed voice.

"_Only_ six months!" Han reacted. "Now wait a sec..."

"Well compare that to twenty-three _years!_" Padme interrupted. "Leia's pregnant - imagine if you woke up tomorrow morning and found out that the babies in her stomach were now grown! That's what happened to me: more than two decades have gone by without me. I don't even know how old I am now. Am I still twenty-seven, or am I now fifty?"

Han surveyed her with his eyes. "Well, if you're fifty, you look pretty good for your age."

"Thanks," Padme said with raised brows and a slight shake of her head.

Both heads then returned to facing out the window, letting the hypnotic view of Coruscant ease the tension of the moment.

"Don't remember much of the old Republic," Han said after a few moments. "I was just a kid when the Empire rose."

"Well, did your parents ever tell you about life in the Republic or something?" Padme asked.

Han gave another noticeable cringe, followed by a long sigh. "Never knew my parents."

Padme's stomach gave a slight flip when she realized that she had disturbed a sensitive spot. "I'm sorry. Are they dead?"

"Most likely," said Han, "or maybe they abandoned their baby and took off for some remote planet. Or maybe I'm the product of a rape or a one-night stand and my father doesn't even know of my existence. Maybe I was kidnaped from my cradle or somethin' like that. Who knows? Maybe I've even run into one of my parents somewhere along the way and didn't even know it. It's anyone's guess who they are, or were, as the case may be."

Padme looked over at her son-in-law. "Do you think you'll ever find out who they are?"

Han sighed again. "Most of me gave up a long time ago, but there's still that one part - ya know, the irrational part - that still wants to know. Can't ever get it to completely shut up, but the rest of me has gotten good at ignorin' it." His eyebrows went up slightly. "Leia used to say findin' out was overrated, you know, after she found out that her father was a monster." He seemed to immediately realize that he was stepping into sensitive territory, for he quickly added, "But I'm sure she's glad she found you."

Padme felt dizzy to hear Anakin called a monster. She suddenly wanted to hit Han...to demand that he take back what he said...no...rationalize...rationalize...he never knew the good side of Anakin. How hard it was to rationalize when her mind was boiling like this. Rationalize...Anakin had frozen him...of course he wouldn't think to well of him...rationalize.

"If you discovered that your parents were evil, would you regret finding out?" she suddenly said without any thought. Perhaps she desperately wanted to get more conversation going. Or perhaps...perhaps she wanted to hear someone else's perspective on having a haunting question in the mind.

Han seemed to contemplate the question for a few moments. "Well...there've been many times when I've been thankful I'm not Luke or Leia. But...I don't know how it can be worse than never knowin' the truth."

"Why?"

There was a lingering pause. It seemed that Han either didn't know why or felt uncomfortable explaining why, or perhaps a mixture of both.

"Well, remember that irrational side of you?" he said at last. "Like I said, it never shuts up. I've gotten pretty good at ignorin' it, but that doesn't make it quiet down. It's always there...always remindin' you of the hole in yourself. Not knowin' who you really are, always having that troubling question inside you, it gives you an...emptiness."

Emptiness. Yes...that was what she was feeling right now. Like Han, she also had a troubling question embedded in her, not about her parents, but about her soulmate. Yes, the question was shouting at her as well, always telling her about the emptiness inside her, the emptiness that kept her soul from being complete. But unlike Han, it was possible for her to know the answer to her question.

She looked at her son-in-law with compassionate eyes. It came into her consciousness that Luke and Leia were not the only ones here who needed a mother. From a certain point of view, she was Han's mother as well. Perhaps she could help him to fill the hole in himself.

A sense of duty filled her soul. Duty to care for her children - her children by birth and her child by marriage. She wasn't at all sure how or if she could do it, but that duty would require her to try, and learn how to be a true mother.

The ambition to be a true mother required knowledge. Knowledge about her children's pasts, so that she could figure out how to help them in their futures. Her children's pasts...the pasts that were connected to her past...the pasts that she had been avoiding. No...she couldn't stay like this. She had returned from the dead for a reason...she was still meant to care for her children, and in order to fulfil her purpose, she had to know...

The sound of footsteps motivated her eyes to drift past Han to the sight of Luke entering the room. Her son's presence brought her both hope and terror, mixed together in an odd nameless emotion. Here was the man with the answer that she both ached and feared to know.

The expression on his face seemed to convey the same mixture of feelings. His eyes were wider than usual, implying that he was once again uneasy in the presence of his mother.

"Mother..." he said in a small voice after clearing his throat, "...I...want to talk with you."

So...it was coming. No...not yet...she wasn't ready...was she?

"Han," Luke continued, "would you mind..."

"Leavin' the room?" Han interrupted in a knowing voice. "Sure, why not? After all, the in-laws shouldn't interfere with family discussions."

"Han, you don't have to leave," Padme quickly spoke up. "I don't mind talking in front of you."

Luke took her by the arm. "Mother," he said firmly, "I think we will both feel better if we talk about this alone." He paused for a moment and then added, "Are you ready to talk about it?"

Padme saw the image of Anakin in her head: the Anakin that she loved, not the one on Mustafar. He was holding her in his arms, whispering about how he loved her, his warm breath tickling her ear. Would whatever revelation that Luke gave her destroy this precious image? No...no...she didn't want to lose it...

The image in her head changed to one of Anakin with a sorrowful expression, an pleading expression, an expression begging her for forgiveness. Forgiveness? Could she forgive her husband for whatever deeds he might have done? Had she forgiven him for killing the Jedi, freezing her son-in-law, and cutting off her son's hand?

The image of Anakin holding her returned...and she suddenly knew the answer. The answer to all the questions in her head was suddenly clear.

"Yes," she said in a surprisingly steady voice. "I'm ready."

Han discreetly walked out of the room without saying a word, leaving the mother and the son alone for a difficult conversation.

Luke led his mother to the sofa, which still had Han's pillow and blankets strewn around on it. After they sat down, Luke tossed the pillow into Padme's lap, as though he thought that she would need something soft to hold while he told her about Anakin's fate. She thought about tossing the pillow back at him to communicate that she didn't need a security possession, but then she reconsidered when she realized that she had no way of knowing how she was going to react.

Luke took a deep breath. "Mother...when was the last time you saw my father?"

Tears threatened to swell up in Padme's eyes as she thought of Mustafar. "I-it was just before you were born," she stuttered.

"Do you mind telling me about it?"

Padme closed her eyes, remembering things she wanted to forget. "It was on the volcanic planet of Mustafar. I was...I was trying to save him."

"From what?"

Padme breathed in quick, tiny gasps. "From Obi-Wan Kenobi, at first...but then I saw that Obi-Wan was trying to save him from himself..."

"How do you mean?" asked Luke.

Padme focused her energy on preventing tears from leaking out of her eyes. "Ani had turned to evil. He had slaughtered the Jedi - even the children. The corrupt mind of the newly self-crowned Emperor had twisted his soul. I looked into his eyes and I couldn't see my husband anymore. The body was there, but the soul was gone."

"What did he look like?" asked Luke.

Padme sighed. "Physically, he was still as handsome as he had ever been. The same curly blonde hair, the same smooth face...but his eyes...my favorite part of him...they were now red with hatred."

Luke bit his lip, as though something about her description of Anakin's appearance disturbed him. After a few moments, he said, "What...what else happened then?"

Padme breathed fiercely. "He started talking to me about his new 'power' and telling me that..." She swallowed hard to stop a sob. "...that his new power was going to save me - that he had done it all for me. Th-then he saw Obi-Wan with me, and he...he started yelling that I had led Obi-Wan to him...that I had betrayed him...that Obi-Wan had turned me against him." She paused for a second to slow down her rapid breathing. "After that, I don't remember much...my throat tightened up until I couldn't breathe and I fainted." Her mouth shook as she struggled to utter her next sentence. "Your father choked me with his hatred."

Luke appeared shaken by that news, but not surprised. "What happened next?"

Padme sighed yet again. "The next thing I remembered, I was in a hospital, fading away as you and Leia were born. Then...well, I woke up many years later."

Luke lowered his eyelids. Padme heard his breath slowing down, unsteadily calming him. His real hand reached over and grasped her hand tightly. "M-mother..." he said, "...listen, what I am about to tell you will be very difficult to hear, and it will take a long time to tell the whole story. Are you sure you're ready?"

Padme's mind span around inside her head, blocking her voice and causing her to answer with only the tiniest of nods.

"All right." Luke took a deep breath and began his story.

"When I first saw my father, you would not have recognized him. The curly blonde hair you remember...it was gone. The smooth face you remember...no one ever saw it."

Padme's heart started beating rapidly. "Wh-what do you mean?"

Luke let a breath out through his teeth. "He was completely encased in black metal. Every part of him was covered in a breather suit; even his face wore a mask at all times. The hardness of the suit reflected the hardness in his soul. He didn't even go by the name of Anakin Skywalker anymore - he had taken a Sith name, Darth Vader."

Padme's hands gripped the pillow in her lap, digging into the softness as her stomach turned around several times. This was something she had not prepared herself for. The image of her husband again came into her head, his handsome body being pulled apart and replaced by black metal until he was unrecognizable. She gripped the pillow tighter in an attempt to prevent her hands from shaking.

She felt the hardness of Luke's metal hand rubbing her shoulder, trying to comfort her but only causing Anakin's reality to sink further into her. The unyielding hardness of Luke's hand covered all of her husband...the soft skin that stroked her and caressed her was no more. Every moment of the cold metal against her skin caused her to grieve the softness more intensely.

"Do you want me to keep going?" Luke asked gently.

_No, no, NO!_ Padme's mind was saying. This was enough...this was too much...she couldn't hear more...but she had to. It took all of her willpower to raise and lower her head in a nod.

Luke removed his hand from his mother's shoulder and breathed deeply again - it appeared to be as difficult for him to tell the story as it was for her to hear it. "I first saw him when I was on a mission with Obi-Wan...a mission to rescue Leia from his clutches."

Padme's stomach dropped out of her body yet again. "He...he captured _Leia?_" she exclaimed.

Luke nodded slightly with his eyes closed.

"But...but didn't he know that she was his _daughter?_"

"I don't think so," said Luke. "But," He held up his artificial hand. "knowing that I was his son didn't stop him from doing this."

Padme's hands clutched the pillow as if it was trying to run away from her.

"Mother," said Luke, "if you want me to stop at any time, just tell me."

"Keep going," Padme said forcefully before her mind could take over her speech.

"All right," said Luke. "Well, maybe I should give you a bit of backstory before I continue. It was by a twist of fate that I even ended up in the rescue mission - or that there even _was_ a rescue mission. My uncle Owen bought C-3PO and R2-D2 to help us out on the farm, and when I was cleaning out R2, I uncovered part of a message from Leia, asking Obi-Wan for help. Well, almost before I knew what was happening, R2 had run away in search of Obi-Wan, 3PO and I were attacked by sandpeople while searching for him, and Obi-Wan came to our rescue. We showed him the message, and well, he wanted me to go with him on the mission. I wouldn't have gone with him, but..." He sighed. "...while I was gone, stormtroopers attacked the farm, burning the property and killing Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru. I had nothing left on Tatooine after that, so I joined Obi-Wan. We hired Han to pilot us - yes, that's how we first met.

"Anyway, Leia was held prisoner because she was hiding stolen plans for the Empire's ultimate weapon, the Death Star, a space station that could destroy an entire planet."

Padme's nerves continued to shake. "An...An...Ani had a hand in building that weapon, didn't he?"

Luke nodded again.

"They didn't complete the weapon, did they?" Padme said in a desperate voice. "I mean, you rescued Leia and got the plans before they could build it, right?"

Luke sighed sadly. "I wish I could say yes. We _did_ rescue Leia and we_ did_ keep the plans, which ultimately made us able to destroy the Death Star, but..." His voice softened to a near whisper. "...but not before my father and the Empire succeeded in destroying one planet."

Padme could feel her entire body erupting in a shiver. Which planet? Was it Naboo, her home? Was her home planet now nothing more than a memory because of her husband's doing?

"W-which planet?" Her voice came out in a whisper that was softer than Luke's.

Luke swallowed. "Alderaan. Leia's home."

Alderaan. It took Padme a few seconds to comprehend it. Alderaan. Alderaan, Bail Organa's home. Alderaan, the peaceful planet that had been an inspiration to the rest of the Republic. Alderaan, the place where her daughter grew up. Alderaan was...gone.

She had only seen Alderaan for herself one time, when she had escorted Bail Organa back to his home planet, but she had been enchanted by the atmosphere: the rocky environment, the friendly people, the unique scenery. Now it was dead...the planet was dead...the people were dead...yet another thing from her old life was dead.

And yet, there was also a terrible sort of comfort in the back of her soul: comfort that the destroyed planet wasn't Naboo, that the place where she herself grew up still existed. It was awful, unnatural for her to be almost relieved that it was her daughter's homeland that was obliterated instead of her own, but she was powerless to stop the near-relief from coming, which caused her to shake even harder. What was wrong with her?

"Are you all right?" Luke asked.

Padme breathed heavily. "Please continue...please."

"All right," said Luke, "but remember, I can stop at any time. Well, Leia was held prisoner aboard the Death Star. Han and I freed her, and then we went through a wild escape that involved nearly being crushed by the garbage crusher, swinging on a rope over a gap, and being chased by numerous stormtroopers. When we were almost back at our ship..." His voice trailed away.

"What?" said Padme.

Luke's lip trembled. "You were close to Obi-Wan, weren't you?"

"Well...yes," Padme said in a confused voice. "He was a good friend."

Luke closed his eyes for a moment, as though he was having trouble finding his words. "He was a good friend to me as well."

"Was?" Padme said. Now Obi-Wan was referred to in the past tense as well. She wrapped her left arm around the pillow as her mind fruitlessly attempted to prepare itself for what was probably coming next.

Luke's breath emitted from his mouth for what seemed like an eternity before he spoke. "We were battling stormtroopers as we made our way to the ship when...when I saw him. Black, menacing, evil. At the time, I knew him only as Darth Vader, the being who murdered my father. He and Obi-Wan were fighting with lightsabers, and...he..." His voice trailed off again.

Padme saw another image in her head: an image of the evil version of Anakin, his face full of hatred, his lightsaber raised to strike down Obi-Wan: his master, his mentor, his friend.

"He..." Her voice came out with a rasp of fear. "...he killed Obi-Wan?"

Luke simply stared at her, his lips shaking. Padme saw tears forming at the edges of his eyes, confirming the answer to her question. Her other arm wrapped around the pillow, hugging it close to her stomach. Dizziness filled her head as the image of Anakin slaughtering Obi-Wan pounded inside her mind.

"Ben is still with me," Luke said softly. "He has guided me through the Force."

"Ben?" said Padme.

"Sorry," said Luke. "Ben was the name I knew him by at first; it was the name he took when he went into hiding from the Empire."

Though Luke had claimed that Obi-Wan, or "Ben," was still with him, the tears at the edges of his eyes were still there, persisting their determination to fall down his face. Harnessing the little strength that she had, Padme's hand slowly let go of the pillow it was clinging to and wiped the tears away from his eyes, acting as a mother even in the sea of emotion that was threatening to drown her.

Luke sniffed deeply before talking. "Are you ready for me to continue?"

"Yes," Padme replied, barely able to hear her own voice. She couldn't tell if the reason why she could barely hear her voice was because she was talking softly or because her mind was shouting so loudly. Her body was numbing, as though she was walking in the snow without proper protection from the cold and frostbite was creeping into her skin.

The numbness persisted as Luke told her about the happenings of three years later, some things she already knew, some things she didn't. The individual words that he spoke seemed to vanish in her head - rather she was now experiencing his story through feelings. She was on the planet Hoth with her son, cold as the surface of the planet her husband attacked. She was with her daughter and son-in-law as they were lured into a trap set by her husband and taken prisoner, feeling as stunned as they were. She was with her son-in-law as he was put on the torture machine by her husband, her nerves shaking as much as his body. She was again with her son-in-law as he was lowered into the freezing chamber by her husband, once again suffering the experience of carbon freezing. She was with her son as her husband sliced off his hand, feeling his empty sense of horrible betrayal.

She wasn't sure exactly when she started listening to actual words again, but the next words she clearly remembered were, "I allowed myself to be taken prisoner aboard the second Death Star partly because I knew I would be a threat to the Alliance if I remained with them, but mostly because I wanted to bring my father back to the good side."

"Bring him back?" a now nearly-voiceless Padme repeated. She was now pressing the pillow against her stomach so hard that it almost felt like it was crushing her. This could be the moment of happiness - or the moment of final despair; the moment when Luke might have succeeded in turning her husband back to the way she remembered - or the moment when he failed.

It appeared that Luke sensed the torment in her soul, for he reached over and touched her cheek, this time with his real hand. She once again felt the coarse softness of her husband's skin.

"Yes," he said gently, "bring him back. In spite of it all, I could still feel that there was good in him, even when he took me to Emperor Palpatine himself."

"Emperor Palpatine?" Padme repeated again, unable to stop a tear from escaping her eye at the mention of Palpatine, the one who brought down the entire Republic - partly enabled to do so by her own vote of no-confidence in Chancellor Vallorum so many years ago.

Luke sighed. "The Emperor claimed me as his apprentice, as he did with my father so long ago, determined to turn me to the dark side as well. His method was cruel and torturous - he showed me an ambush on our rebellion and kept taunting me, saying the only way I could save my friends was to turn like my father did. I know, it doesn't sound like much, but I could feel his words inside of me, not just in my ear. I felt the dark side of the Force all around me, luring me, sucking me in. It took all my willpower to resist." His eyes focused on a far-off distance. "Perhaps the reason why I was able to resist was my hope of turning my father back to the good side."

Padme knew that the Emperor hadn't succeeded in turning her son to the dark side. She knew that the Emperor died and democracy was restored. The thing that concerned her was what she didn't know - the thing she had been afraid to know. The urge to tell Luke to stop talking was boiling inside of her, so much so that she actually opened her mouth, but somehow she stopped herself before saying any words, suddenly becoming aware that Luke had started talking again.

"...then when he said that perhaps Leia could be turned to the dark side instead, everything inside me exploded. All the anger and fear came out, merging into a single thought, a thought to destroy my father."

Padme gulped, feeling like she was swallowing a rock, unsure if she could handle a revelation that her son murdered her husband.

"I swung my lightsaber at him over and over again," Luke continued. "Everything he had done to us was boiling inside my head - all I could think was, 'Kill him, kill him.' But then, after I sliced off his hand, I saw circuitry. Circuitry - his hand was artificial, like my own."

"I know," Padme said faintly. "He lost it in the battle that began the Clone Wars." She felt sick - sick at the thought that her son had actually attempted to kill his father. By now the pillow she held felt like it was almost a vital organ - she clung to it like a child clinging to a stuffed animal in the dark of night.

Luke's real hand again reached over to touch Padme's hand. "That was when I realized what I was doing. I was doing exactly what the Emperor wanted, I was falling prey to the dark side...I was trying to kill my own father. Suddenly I knew that this wasn't me. So I threw down my lightsaber and declared to the Emperor that I would never turn, that I was a Jedi, like my father before me."

A lingering silence followed that statement. Padme felt like she had stopped breathing - that she was caught between seconds. Though she dreaded the next part of the story, though Luke had told her that he could stop at any time, though her heart was now beating so fast it felt like an engine inside her, her soul was screaming to get out of this moment. Get out...get out...get out...

"What happened next?" she asked in a whisper.

She thought she saw Luke's body trembling slightly. "Th-the next thing that I knew, I was thrown to the floor by a burst of lightning. Pain jolted through my body - the most unbearable pain I had ever felt."

"Sith lightning?" Padme guessed, her stomach now feeling compressed nearly to its limit.

"Yes," said Luke. "Inflicted by the Emperor. It seemed like an eternity passed as I writhed in agony while my father looked on." He looked Padme directly in the eye. "Out of desperation, still clinging onto my fading belief that there was good it him, I called out to him for help."

Padme sucked in a jolt of air.

Then Luke did the oddest thing for such a tension-filled moment. He actually _smiled_ at his mother as he squeezed her hand, causing her to wonder if he was smiling because there was good news or smiling in order to comfort her before he delivered the worst part of the story.

"He did it, Mother," he said.

"D–d-did what?" Padme stuttered.

"He saved me. He killed the Emperor. The good in him that I knew was there finally came out, and he became Anakin Skywalker once again."

Luke must have seen the hope in Padme's eyes or felt the brief flutters of happiness in her soul, for his face quickly changed from a smile to a grieving expression. "I-I wish...I wish I didn't have to tell you any more than that."

Padme hugged the pillow against her chest, letting her energy flow into the softness of the pillow, the childish side of her hoping that the pillow would somehow give her enough strength to hear what was coming next.

Luke made a noise that almost sounded like it was stifling a sob. "Th-the lightning from the Emperor struck Father as he threw him into the chute. It...it...it mortally wounded him."

Padme's head span around violently, her heart wanted to escape her chest, icy chills swiftly spread through her entire body. It seemed that her spirit was breaking up into little pieces and escaping her skin.

Luke placed his hand on his mother's cheek. "I-I t-tried to save him... but..."

Not a single tear was in Padme's eyes - the tears were buried deep inside her soul, too deep, too sorrowful to leave her body.

Luke's fingers were gently stroking her face, speaking as though in a daze. "He wanted me to remove his mask...so he could see me with his own eyes. When I d-did so...and I saw his face..."

"What did he look like?" Padme suddenly asked.

"He..." Luke breathed for a second. "...he was bald...scarred...he was probably in some serious accident that caused him to need the suit...but the eyes you remember...they were back...they had feeling again..."

The dizziness in Padme's head was now affecting her vision - the room seemed to blur.

"He said to me, 'You were right about me. Tell your sister you were right.' " He leaned in closer to his mother's face, fixing his focus on her wide, dry eyes. "Your...your husband returned to the good side...he...he died a hero."

Anakin was dead.

Anakin was dead. The mounting fears inside her head for the past two days were now confirmed. She should be crying now...she should be emptying her eyes as she did when she discovered that her children had grown up without her...but nothing was happening. She felt empty...soulless...completely derived of the energy required for crying. Luke's words seemed to be lingering in the air with her mind refusing to let them in. Every part of her body was tingling as though it had been underneath a heavy weight for too long.

Anakin was dead.

"_I move for a vote of no confidence in Chancellor Vallorum's leadership."_ Her own words of many years ago were sharp spikes driving into her head. She had done it. She had allowed Palpatine to make his initial rise to power...the rise to power that would lead to him dominating the Republic...which would lead to the formation of the Empire...which would lead to the near-extinction of the Jedi...the destruction of Alderaan...the death of her husband...

Anakin was dead.

"_My new power will save you, Padme."_ Anakin's words of so many years ago were once again knives plunging into her heart. It was his fear of losing her that had drove him to the dark side...she was the reason for it all...

Anakin was dead.

The innocent little boy on Tatooine was dead...the spirited young Jedi was dead...the man who was one with her soul was dead...dead because of her...

Anakin was dead.

She was on Mustafar again, her throat tightening up, her lungs struggling to breathe. In front of her, Luke was now nothing more than a large blur. Her arms and legs involuntarily sprung out, flailing about as though the body was having a seizure.

Anakin was dead.

The sentence repeated itself in her head, draining her mind of any other thought, consuming her, boiling over in her mind, removing her from her surroundings. Hundreds of images of her beloved husband filled her head at the same time, pushing her body backward. For a moment, all of her senses were surrounded by Anakin...surrounded by his body, his voice, his kiss, all the things she would never experience again.

And then...nothing but blackness.


	14. Chapter 14

"My Mother"

By EsmeAmelia

Chapter 14

AN: Thanks all for reading and reviewing! Allow me to apologize yet again for taking so long to update...blame it on school.

Something cold, rough, and moist pressed against Padme's forehead, coaxing her back into consciousness. Her eyes slowly batted open, blinking rhythmically as the tiled ceiling of the Solos' living room gradually came into focus. Her head was pressed against something - something cushiony but firm, which inflicted pressure on the back of her head.

"Are you all right?" a voice said.

She knew the voice...but the identity of the voice seemed to be escaping her disoriented brain when part of it was still dragging itself out of unconsciousness...wait...she knew who it was...it was...it was Luke.

She lifted her head up slightly until Luke's figure entered her eyes. He was sitting on the sofa next to her, wiping her forehead with a damp cloth.

"Don't worry - I won't tell anyone that you fainted," he continued.

What...she _fainted?_ For a very brief second, she felt only embarrassment, before the reason why she fainted returned to her head, before all that Luke told her came bombarding onto her mind, returning her to the sea of sorrow from the conversation.

"Here," Luke said gently as he pressed a glass of water into her hands. "Drink this - you'll feel better."

How would a glass of water make her feel better when her husband was gone? How could _anything_ make her feel better when her husband was gone? Nevertheless, she still raised the glass to her mouth and allowed the cold liquid to flow down her throat.

"I'm sorry," Luke sighed with lowered eyelids.

Padme wanted to talk to him, but it seemed that her voice was missing, that it had gotten lost somewhere in the conversation or the faint.

"I shouldn't have told you everything at once," her son continued.

That statement stimulated her voice to return from wherever it had been hiding, though it was still weak and shaky. "D-don't be sorry." She swallowed another sip of water before continuing. "It's good that I know the truth."

Luke slowly exhaled through his nose. "I used to wonder why Obi-Wan told me that Vader murdered my father instead of the whole truth. Now I'm beginning to understand." He squeezed his mother's hand. "Sometimes the truth can be such a hard burden to know, and an equally hard burden to tell."

"But ultimately, you can't escape it," said Padme, squeezing his hand back. "Y-you couldn't escape the fact that he is your father...just like I can't escape the fact that he's dead."

"You're a strong woman, Mother," said Luke.

"Am I?" Padme said in a small voice. Her face was still, but her mind was crying in agony, full of tears that had lost their way to her eyes, instead collecting in the heart, where they could cause more pain than they would if they simply fell out of the eyes.

"Can I get you anything?" Luke asked.

Padme shook her head as her body shivered inside of her skin. She could have saved him. If she hadn't been frozen, she could have turned her husband back to the good side before he killed and tortured all those lives, before he destroyed his daughter's home, before he _died._ She searched her vague memories of the hospital, trying to remember exactly why she was dying, if she had any control over her situation, but nothing came to her. Was it the choke or her own broken heart? She could not remember, and yet a part of her was insisting that yes, she _did _have control, she had been _choosing _to die, and it was her choice that eventually killed Anakin.

Another part of her wanted to make that choice again, to leave this life and join with her husband, for she did not deserve to be alive, not when she had caused so much death and destruction. And yet, even in this moment of ultimate despair, the touch of her son's hand was ensuring that no, she would not be making that choice this time. This time, her full consciousness knew there was something else to live for.

She wrapped her arms around her son and buried her face in his chest.

Leia couldn't recall the last time a meeting had taken so long. In the literal sense of time, it had lasted as long as an average meeting would last, but in her mind, it had taken weeks, for her mother had been inhabiting her thoughts for the entire time. Now that the barriers between them had been broken, she had been anxiously awaiting the end of the meeting so that she could get home and see her mother again.

When she entered the apartment, it appeared that she was being greeted by an empty room, but the all-too-familiar feeling of a body grabbing her from behind quickly proved her wrong.

"The old hide-by-the-door-so-you-can-surprise-your-wife-with-a-pregnancy-hug trick, eh, Han?" she chided to her husband.

"Hey, it only lasts nine months, so enjoy it while ya can," Han chided back as he rubbed her stomach. Then, as an afterthought, he added, "How was your meeting?"

"Slow," replied Leia. "Where's Padme?"

Han slightly relaxed his grip on Leia's stomach, implying that her question had caused discomfort.

"Han?" Leia persisted. "Where's Padme?"

"Last I heard, she was showerin'," Han said uneasily as he released Leia completely.

A slight Force-reach into Han's mind told Leia why he was uneasy. "Luke told her?"

Han nodded.

Leia chewed on her lip. She could now feel that her mother was in deep grief. Grief for the man she still hated so bitterly. Now she would most likely want to talk about him, the thought of which punched her in the stomach. Her soul almost did not want to know what her father had been like when he was good - it might get her to start feeling something for him other than hatred, which would cause conflict with herself. Yes, she knew that Darth Vader became Anakin Skywalker again before he died, but try as she may, her heart could not accept that. Her heart didn't want to try to forgive her father for all that he had done - it wanted to believe that he was simply evil. She hated thinking in such shallow terms, but she could not ignore the feelings that existed within her, the scar on her spirit.

"You wanna try talkin' to her?" Han suggested.

Leia forced herself to nod. Although it would be difficult to talk about this, her mother needed her.

---------------------

Padme was in the bedroom, wearing Leia's bathrobe, her hair wrapped up in a towel. Her face was wet, whether from tears or simply from the shower, Leia couldn't tell. She was rubbing her head with the towel in a fierce, grinding motion, as though she was trying to use the towel to chip away her skin.

"Hello Mother," said Leia. The latter word had come out without any thought, a natural utterance as if she had been using it her entire life, which completely surprised her. She had expected that she would have had to struggle to call her mother by name the first time.

"Hello Leia," Padme replied stiffly, still rubbing the towel against her head.

A few moments of awkward silence followed before Leia said, "Are you all right?"

"I've been asked that question an awful lot lately," said Padme. "I'm getting a bit tired of it."

"Sorry," said Leia.

Neither mother nor daughter could think of anything more to say. The silence was back, but this time, it was not interfering but welcome - welcome because it appeared that there was nothing that _could_ be said right now. Leia did not need Padme to tell her how she was feeling - she could feel it for herself. The despair over the loss of her husband and the deeds that he had done was flowing off Padme's body, being carried by the Force into Leia's senses. In her mind, she saw her planet being destroyed again, but this time at the hand of someone close to her. Was it Han? Luke? In the feelings, the identity of the killer could not be placed, only the cold betrayal, but Leia knew for herself who it was. The betrayed emotion was not hers - it was her mother's, and hence she was feeling the destruction from her perspective, the betrayal from her perspective, and the death of the killer from her perspective. From her Force senses, Darth Vader was not the evil, soulless figure that she had always known him to be, but something...else: something she did not want to name.

Padme walked up to her daughter, hesitant at first, but as she came closer her footsteps quickened. She continued until she was just inches away from Leia, close enough that Leia could smell her shampoo. The scent triggered thoughts of showering with Han, kissing while immersed in the hot water and steam, which helped her relax as Padme stared at her with desperate eyes, appearing that they wanted strength from Leia, strength she didn't know she could offer.

Her mother's body seemed to fall forward, passively allowing gravity to take it down, but knowing that something would block its way to the ground. Leia's body became a shield, saving her mother from both physical and emotional harm as it stopped the fall. Both the mother and the daughter flung their arms around each other's bodies, clutching each other with a tightness shared in only the most intimate of embraces, an embrace that lingered without time, soothing the souls when words could not be found.

------------------------------------------

Night soon arrived. Luke and the droids went home, promising to visit again tomorrow. Soon after they left, Leia declared that, given the circumstances, it would be best for the sleeping arrangements to remain as they were last night - she and Padme would share the bed and Han would have the sofa.

"I'm sorry, Han, but she needs me right now," Leia said before retreating to the bedroom.

"Hey, don't worry," said Han, "I'll be fine. After all, sleepin' on the sofa for three nights in a row never killed anyone. Might have given them lingering headaches and fixed it so their joints would never function right again, but it never killed 'em."

Leia snickered. "Now come on, I've seen you on the sofa during the night and you look quite comfortable."

"Well, appearances can be deceiving, 'specially in one's sleep," said Han. "You should've seen yourself on the night you found her - you looked like you didn't have any concerns in that chair."

Leia smiled at her husband. "How about this? Whenever you get your side of the bed back, I owe you an entire night of lovemaking - or at least lovemaking for as long as we can stay awake. Think that'll help ease your complaining?"

Han found himself grinning at that suggestion. "It might."

"All right, then," said Leia. She kissed her husband's lips. "Sleep well, Han."

"I'll try, but I can't make any promises," said Han. He gave her his own kiss on the lips. "Night, honey."

Once she was gone, Han let out a heavy groan as he collapsed on the sofa. Another night. Another night alone on this uncomfortable "bed" with the stiff cushions and the arms that inflicted pain in his head and neck. He thumped his pillow with his fist in shallow hope that this action might make it soft enough to shield his head from the arm, but once he lay down on it he saw that he had no luck. The sofa arm still stuck up, molding the pillow around it and returning the soreness to Han's head and neck. He grumbled to himself. What the hell was the point of a pillow if it didn't protect him from this rock-hard arm?

He wrapped the covers around his body, but there was still an annoying chill in the air. Maybe it was because he was used to being in bed with another body that could provide warmth. How easy it was to become spoiled. Come on, he told himself. After all, he had slept alone for many years before he got married. Still, he had a feeling that even his bunk on the Falcon was more comfortable than this.

And then there was the silence. No breathing from Leia, no creaking of mattress springs as Leia turned over, no one to talk to until they fell asleep. It amazed Han how much he was missing her presence.

_She's probably chit-chatting with Mama, having the time of her life,_ he thought bitterly.

He would sleep eventually, he knew that. He had somehow gotten to sleep the previous two nights, after all, but these wakeful moments before that time just seemed to be staring at him, mocking him, taunting his inability to sleep. It seemed that years of darkness teasing him passed before he finally fell asleep.

-------------------------

THUD!

Huh? What happened? Han flailed his limbs around, trying to orient himself, feeling hardness against his body and something twisted around his legs, seeing nothing but darkness. It passed through his mind that he might be dreaming about that first moment after waking from carbon freeze again, but he dismissed that possibility when he realized there was no freezing cold or nauseating sickness. But then, what was going on? It wasn't until his eyes adjusted to the dim light when he got an idea where he was.

He was on the living room floor...tangled up in a blanket...in the middle of the night...the last thing he remembered was...falling asleep on the sofa.

Suddenly wide awake and aware of several sore bones, Han felt rage build up in him. This was it. Falling off the sofa in his sleep was going over the limit. What right did Padme have to take his side of the bed, anyway? Did Leia even have the dignity to ask him if it would be all right? Of course not. Her Worship just expected him to go along with it like a good subject.

Well he would show her. He wasn't going to let her push him around any longer. Padme should be the one on the sofa, not him. And if she needed Leia so much, then maybe Leia could sleep on the floor next to her dear Mommy. Han scrambled to his feet, intent on telling her that and demanding his side of the bed back right now. Maybe being woken up in the middle of the night would knock some sense into both his wife and their guest.

The hard floor felt like ice under Han's bare feet as he made his way to the bedroom, but he was barely aware of it, or at least trying to be. He tried not the let the icy feel remind him of carbon freezing and induce guilt feelings for demanding that Padme move to the sofa. Carbon frozen or not, she still took his side of the bed without permission.

Once he reached the bedroom door, he was about to push the button to open the door, fully ready to shout at the two women in there, when he heard something. A voice - an agonized female voice - coming from behind the door. He found himself pressing his ear against the door, probably more out of curiosity than anything else.

"He can't be gone!" the voice screamed in a sob-filled voice. "He can't be!"

Han now recognized the voice to be Padme's, and he figured that "he" was most likely her husband, also known as the second-most evil person in the galaxy, second only to the Emperor, and now an awkward subject to discuss, due to the fact that his wife and brother-in-law were the offspring of that very thing he despised. How could she be grieving that thing? Yeah, Darth Vader supposedly used to be on the good side, but Han had difficulty believing that. No one with any good in them would put someone on a torture machine for the sheer fun of it.

How _could_ Padme be crying about him? She had appeared to be a pretty sensible person, but how could anyone with any sense like that thing, love that thing, _marry_ that thing? He kept his ear pressed against the door, suddenly forgetting the reason why he had come to the bedroom, now only interested in what was going on behind the door.

Leia was talking now, hesitantly, as though she was unsure what to say, which was certainly unusual for Han's self-assured wife. He strained his ears and concentrated on making out what she was saying.

"Mother...it will be all right," he heard her say.

Padme sniffed loudly two or three times before speaking again. "You don't know."

"I don't know what?" said Leia.

Padme sniffed again. "Well...maybe you do know a little. After all, your whole planet was destroyed...but then again, not at the hand of your husband." Her voice sped up its tempo. "You still have your husband, he's not going to change into something evil, he's not going to slaughter innocent lives and then tell you that he's doing it all to save you, you don't have the burden of being responsible for the crumbling of the Republic and millions of deaths!" She broke into a series of quick, gasping breaths.

Han then heard footsteps - possibly Leia's - followed by a gradual slowing of Padme's breathing.

"You're right, I don't know," Leia said softly. "I don't know what it's like to have an evil husband...but I _do_ know what it's like to have an evil father."

Padme's breath quickened again. "I didn't _have_ an evil husband - I had a wonderful husband who _became_ something else." She sounded like she was sucking her breath in through her teeth. "Ooooohhhh, you don't understand - you only saw what he became," she said in a frustrated voice, followed by a slight pause. "You hate him, don't you?"

Han listened intently for Leia's response, but no response came.

"You wish Bail Organa was your _real_ father, don't you?" Padme continued.

There was still no response from Leia. Han considered opening the door and revealing that he had been eavesdropping, which would save her from this more-than-awkward moment, but his hand couldn't move, for his brain's attention was still focused on what was being received from his ear.

"I don't blame you, Leia," Padme said softly between sniffs. "If I were in your situation, I would hate him too."

Finally Leia spoke. "I'm...I'm sorry, Mother," she said in a voice that sounded like she was about to break down crying herself. "I'm sorry, but I can't deny it. He's done too much to me and the people I'm close to."

More footsteps followed - Han guessed them to be Padme's, though he didn't claim any expertise on the art of identifying people by the sounds of their footsteps.

"Leia," Padme said in a voice that sounded like it was trying to muster up strength, "your father was a kind, compassionate man. He was not the monster you know him to be."

"I know," Leia said in a less-than-convincing voice.

Another few moments of silence followed before Padme spoke again.

"Your husband..." she said. "...he reminds me of Ani."

"What?" Leia exclaimed.

_What?_ Han exclaimed in his head. Now this was _too_ ridiculous. Not only did she marry that demon of a man, but now she was saying that he, _Han Solo_, reminded her of _Darth Vader? _Han thought for a moment that the carbon freeze must have done something to her brain, but then the sound of her voice distracted him.

"I know, you must think it sounds crazy, but he does."

"Well don't tell him that," said Leia. "If Han knew that you thought he was like Vader..."

_Oh, the irony_, Han thought.

"He's not like _Vader,_" Padme insisted. "Ani is not _Vader._"

"Whatever," said Leia, clearly losing patience even though she was trying to show compassion to her mother. "Can you at least tell me why Han reminds you of him?"

Han pressed his ear against the door to the point of discomfort.

"That story he told me," Padme began. "The one about the record he set in the Kessel Run...it's the sort of thing Ani might have done. He loved flying, taking risks, exploring his potential. For him, life was an adventure. Although he belonged to the Jedi, one of the most restricted orders in the galaxy, his spirit could not be held back."

Han was beginning to feel disgusted to hear Darth Vader described as some sort of free young thrill-seeker. That creature sought out too many thrills, like the thrill galaxy domination.

"Well...Han's like that too, except for the part about belonging to a restricted order...but he gets into quite a bit of trouble for it sometimes," Leia said, sounding unsure what to make of this.

"So did Ani," said Padme. "He was often called 'reckless' by his mentors, but from his point of view, his mentors simply didn't know how to have fun. For him, life was something to be enjoyed."

Han's ear was now tingling from the pressure on it, but he still refused to move it. His ear, his head, his entire body was still, waiting for more, stuck in the lingering silence between statements.

Someone - it sounded like Leia - gave a slight sigh. "Mother..." she said carefully, "...what did you mean when you were talking about being responsible for the downfall of the old Republic and the loss of millions of lives?"

Padme sniffed yet again as her breath increased its speed, sounding like she was trying to prevent herself from crying again. "I'm the reason he turned to the dark side," she choked. "He...he thought he was receiving premonitions about my death...and..."

"And he thought the dark side could save you?" finished Leia.

Padme made a noise that sounded like she was drowning and struggling for air. "It was me...I caused it..." She then sounded like she was swallowing a cough, followed by several swift breaths. "He...he must have gone the rest of his life thinking I was dead..."

Han's stomach churned slightly as Padme's breath gradually slowed out of audibility.

"What was it like..." she pondered in an eerily steady voice, "...to be trapped in that suit...to have your mind viciously manipulated...to believe that all you loved was dead...and think that you had sacrificed your identity for nothing..."

Han shook slightly. He felt his blood flowing at an abnormally fast speed, and there was a tingle in his entire body, not just the part that was pressed against the door.

Leia's voice spoke up. "Mother..." she said, "...come back to bed ."

The sounds of two pairs of feet walking at the same time followed, one pair growing softer as it increased its distance from the door, and another pair growing louder as it moved closer to the door.

"Han," a fierce whisper suddenly hissed from right behind the door, "you go back to bed too."

"All right," Han whispered back to his Force-sensitive wife. He should have figured that she would be able to feel his presence behind the door, but fortunately, she seemed to have too much on her mind to be angry at him.

He yawned as he made his way back down the hall. Why did he go to the bedroom in the first place, anyway? Oh right, he was going to demand that Padme give him back his side of the bed. He supposed that he could still do that, but somehow it didn't matter so much to him anymore after hearing Padme's devastation.

When he reached the living room, he gathered his blankets off the floor and threw them back on the sofa, letting them land however they wanted to. He didn't care if they were twisted around each other - all he wanted right now was to get some sleep and clear his mind. Darth Vader...a tragic figure. Darth Vader...deeply loved by someone else. Darth Vader...once like _him._

As he climbed into bed, he heard the sinister breathing in his head...saw the expressionless black mask...felt the stings of the torture...but he also heard Padme's sobs...her descriptions of his youth...her questions about his tragedy...

_Shouldn't be thinking about this at night,_ he thought to himself. He sank his head into the pillow, again landing on the rock-hard arm, but this time he barely noticed it, for, thankfully, sleep came almost instantly.


	15. Chapter 15

"My Mother"

By EsmeAmelia

Chapter 15

AN: As always, thanks to everyone who reveiwed!

Five days passed, with Padme still living with the Solos (and still sharing the bed with Leia). She spent those days mostly in silence, only speaking when she was spoken to, and then usually using as few words as possible. Words were difficult for her right now, when so much had happened to her. Fortunately, both Leia and Han seemed to understand this: neither of them demanded that she talk more to them than she wanted, they allowed her to have as much time alone as she would need.

Strangely enough, she did not cry much during this time. Yes, she had wailed on that first night, but after that, her eyes seemed permanently dried, unable to shed further tears. She could not tell if it was because her sorrow was too strong for tears or because some part of her that still considered itself a queen or a senator continued to see crying as a weakness.

On the second morning after Luke told her about Anakin, she had explored the rest of the apartment building her daughter lived in and discovered a swimming pool on the bottom floor, which proved to be one of the few sources of comfort for her. Once she found the pool, she would visit it every morning before the others were up and become one with the water, as she used to do on her home planet years back.

This particular morning, she was coming to the pool especially early, since she had plenty to think about today. Han had informed her that he and Leia would be traveling to Kashyyyk tomorrow to pick up his Wookiee copilot, Chewbacca, who was visiting his family, and she had been invited to join them.

The prospect of traveling again appealed to her, but there was something else on her mind besides the journey to Kashyyyk.

She eased herself into the shallow end of the pool, flinching only slightly at the chill surrounding her body. Once her feet touched the bottom, she began walking towards the deep end with a slight bounce in her step, as though she was on a planet with a weaker gravitational pull than she was used to. Her movement was quick and agile - rather than be held back by the abrupt drop in her surroundings' temperature, she was invigorated by it. It helped to sharpen her awareness, especially after a night of tormenting dreams about Anakin.

Anakin. As the bottom of the pool sloped out from under her feet, causing her to fly in the water, her mind was once again on her husband. Pushing herself through the deep water reminded her of swimming during the school retreats of her childhood, which in turn reminded her of the time she told Anakin about those retreats. She would have sighed if her breath wasn't concentrating on providing her lungs with enough air to keep swimming.

How she would have liked to take him to that island from her retreats and show him the beauty of it. To swim side by side with her husband, being carried by the salty waves underneath the warm Naboo sun...

But could Ani swim?

As she turned her body back upright and let her head bob at the water's surface, it amazed Padme how such little things as that could bother her. Ani had lived the first nine years of his life on a desert planet...was swimming included in the Jedi training? Suddenly this idea of something she didn't know about her husband gnawed at her mind. If he could swim, they could have gone swimming together, and if he couldn't swim, she could have taught him. Either way, it was something else lost forever for the widow.

_Widow,_ such an ugly word. Thinking of herself as a widow further hammered the truth into her, labeling her as someone who would never see her husband again.

Luke had told her yesterday about how he cremated Ani's body on Endor, which haunted her through the night. Her dreams had been plagued by visions of her husband erupting in flames. Yes, she knew that burning the body was showing respect for the dead, but when it was _Anakin's_ body that was now reduced to ashes, her soul ached.

"I thought I might find you here."

Padme looked up to find her daughter standing at the edge of the pool, wearing a one-piece purple swimsuit, her hair wrapped up in tight braids, a towel draped over her arm.

"Leia?" she said. "What are you doing here so early? Did I wake you up?"

"I was awake," said Leia. "Had trouble sleeping, so I thought I'd come down here and join you." She set her towel down, sat down at the edge of the pool, and gracefully slipped in the water. "Swimming's a recommended exercise for pregnant women, you know."

Padme smiled over at her daughter. "Yes, I know. When I was carrying you and Luke, it was one of my favorite things to do."

Leia swam over to her mother. "So, are you coming with us to Kashyyyk tomorrow?"

"I think so," said Padme. She lowered her eyes to the ever-changing surface of the water, halfheartedly gazing at the wavy reflections, wondering how she should make the proposal that had been dancing around in her head, the proposal that would most likely be rejected.

"I warn you, Mother," Leia said lightheartedly. "Despite all the boasting you've heard, Han's ship is a bit...let's say, not the most attractive thing you've ever seen."

"That's fine with me," replied Padme, not really interesting in talking about transportation at the moment.

The two heads bobbed on the water in a lingering silence, not swimming, but simply allowing the water to carry them. Time stood still for a few moments, until Leia's hands suddenly flicked up in the water, spraying Padme's face with stinging drops of coldness.

"Hey!" she sputtered as her eyes reflexively squinted shut. Once she could open them again, she caught sight of Leia swimming away from her, giggling.

"I'll get you!" Padme shouted as she swam after Leia, finding that her daughter was quite a speedy swimmer. She breathed in labored huffs as her arms shoved through the water, constantly reaching for Leia. When she caught up with her, she used her entire body to push a wave over Leia's rapidly swimming form, which in turn stimulated her to face her attacker and launch a counter-attack with her own wave. Within seconds, the two women were frantically splashing water at each other, both emitting shrieks of laughter that could even be heard over the loud rushing of the water.

After the battle died down and the laughter subsided, Leia smiled widely with her mouth open, catching her breath. "You did it, Mother."

"I did what?" said Padme

"You laughed," replied her daughter. "I haven't heard you laugh since you found out about everything." She briefly closed her mouth, letting her mother see her full lips. "You've got a cute laugh."

Padme returned her focus to the pool's surface. "That's what Ani used to say, but his laugh was cuter."

Padme flashed her eyes back up to see that Leia suddenly looked uncomfortable, as though she refused to accept the idea that her father could laugh at all. Padme recognized her expression - the slightly-widened eyes and tensed-up lips - it appeared on Leia's face whenever the subject of their conversations reached Anakin.

The mother decided to change the subject. "Have you thought about what you're going to name my grandchildren yet?"

"Well...Han brought it up once, just before I found you, in fact, but since then we've been a bit...distracted, if you know what I mean." She winked.

"Yeah, I know what you mean," said Padme.

There was silence for a few moments as Leia's expression gradually changed to one of curiosity. "Mother...can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"It's a silly question," said Leia.

"There's no such thing as silly," said Padme.

"You may change your mind about that after you hear this question."

Padme grinned at her daughter. "Please, ask it."

"All right," said Leia. "Mother, do I have a middle name?"

Padme took a second to reply, and even then she merely repeated what her daughter said. "A middle name?"

"Yes," said Leia. "On some planets, it's customary to give middle names to children."

"I know," said Padme. "Well...Ani and I didn't really get around to choosing middle names for you or Luke, but..." She looked her daughter in the eye. "...I think if things had gone better, your middle name might have been Shmi."

"Shmi?" Leia asked in a voice that sounded like it was trying the name on for size. "So my full name could have been Leia Shmi Organa Solo?"

"It could have been Leia Shmi _Skywalker_ Solo," Padme insisted, although she knew all-too-well why her daughter had never taken her father's name.

"Shmi," Leia repeated. "How did you come up with that name?"

"It was your grandmother's name," replied Padme.

"So I might have been named after your mother?"

"No," said Padme. "No, not _my _mother, Ani's."

Leia was silent as the wide-eyed, tensed-lip expression returned to her face.

"What, did you think your father was assembled?" Padme asked in a sarcastic voice, though she figured that her sarcastic statement might not be far from the truth to Leia's psyche.

"No...of course not," said Leia.

Padme reached over and placed her wet hand on Leia's equally-wet cheek. "Leia," she said, "Shmi Skywalker was a wonderful person. She was thoughtful and caring - she and Ani once took us in during a sandstorm."

"A sandstorm?" said Leia, finally sounding genuinely interested.

"Yes," said Padme. "It was on Tatooine, during my first year as Queen of Naboo. Two of the Jedi were escorting me to Coruscant to speak to the Senate about an unfortunate situation Naboo was in, but our ship broke down and we became stranded on Tatooine, where..." She slipped her hand off of Leia's cheek and let it drop back under the water. "...where Ani and I first met."

Leia's eyes were widening again.

Padme thought that perhaps knowing about Anakin's childhood might help Leia to start accepting him. "He was just a little boy at the time: his body was a slave, but his spirit was free. Though he barely knew us, he invited us to his home when the sandstorm came and introduced us to his mother as 'his friends.'"

"So he...he was a slave?" Leia asked, as though her father being a slave was the only thing in Padme's last statement that she felt comfortable discussing.

"Yes, as was Shmi," said Padme. She blew a light puff of air out of her mouth, creating ripples in the water in front of her. "I only knew Shmi for those few days, but I could see her great compassion for others and her love for her son."

Leia's eyes continued to stare.

Padme breathed deeply before telling the next part of her story. "In a pod race, Ani managed to win us the parts we needed for our ship, and also his freedom...but not hers." She swallowed. "Ani left his mother promising that he would return someday to free her, but when he and I returned to Tatooine ten years later, he found her dying."

Silence lingered for a long moment after her final word. The two bodies floated upright passively, only moving enough to keep their noses above the surface as the story was meditated upon.

"Leia Shmi Organa Solo," Leia finally said. "I like it. Is it too late for me to take that as my middle name?"

Padme spontaneously grinned. Though Leia would not yet admit her father into her heart, she was admitting her grandmother, which was a beginning. Perhaps someday her heart would open even further.

Talking about Ani's childhood made her think again about the proposal that was dancing in her head. Should she ask Leia if it was possible? Leia would most likely say a definite no, but thoughts of her husband were pushing at her, telling her that she needed to do this. Yes...she had to do it for that little boy who became her love.

"Leia..." Padme said cautiously, "...would it...be possible to stop somewhere else on the way home from Kashyyyk?"

"Well, you'll probably have to ask Han about it, but I think it could be arranged," said Leia. "Where would you want to go?"

Padme breathed as deeply as her lungs could.

"Endor."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"_Endor?"_ Han reacted when Padme gave him her proposal.

"Han, I know you detest him, but I want to see the place where my husband died," Padme said firmly.

"The actual place where your husband died no longer exists. It was blown up, remember?"

"Well, the place where he was cremated, then," said Padme.

"And may I ask _why?_" said Han, his eyebrows furrowing. "Seein' Endor won't do anything to affect the fact that he's dead, you know."

Padme sighed. "Look...it's hard to explain...but if Leia died away from you and she had a grave on a distant planet, wouldn't you want to see that planet?"

Han's upper lip lifted slightly, revealing that his teeth were gritted in frustration.

Padme decided to try another approach. "Han, I can offer a diplomatic solution that would be mutually beneficial for the both of us. Do you want to hear it."

Han let out a small sigh. "All right, shoot."

"You take me to Endor, and..." A sly smile overtook Padme's face. "...you get your side of the bed back tonight." She stuck out her hand. "What do you say?"

The expression on Han's face made a rather abrupt shift from a look of frustration to one of the lopsided grins that were unique to his face. He threw his hand down into hers.

"Deal."

- - - - - - - - - - - -

That night, as Leia brushed her hair, her eyes kept drifting from her reflection to the reflection of the bed, where Han was already settled in under the covers, his head propped up against the back of the bed, a content smile on his face as he gazed at his wife. She couldn't help but smile back, though she didn't know exactly why. After all, he had only been gone for what, a week? Only a week...really? Had it really been only a week ago when she had discovered her mother? Did such a time before she knew her mother ever really exist?

"Honey, I've said it before, and I'll say it again - that hair has gotta be down more often," said Han.

Leia placed the brush on the dresser and turned around to face her husband. "Oh really? Well if I do that, maybe you could be in charge of getting all the rough tangles out."

"I could handle that - it'd be worth it to see you like that more often," said Han.

Leia ran up to the bed and kneeled on the bottom of the mattress. "You might change your mind once you start _yanking_ through my hair," She waddled on her knees up the bed. "pulling _knot after knot _out," Once she reached the other end, she leaned forward so that she was inches away from her husband's head. "but they just _keep on coming,_" She threw her hand down on Han's hair and rapidly stirred it around. "_and coming, and coming, they never stop!_"

Han pushed Leia's arm away. "Hey hon, you don't need to take out your hair care problems on a perfect hairstyle!"

"All right," said Leia. "I'll take them out on a scruffy-looking hairstyle instead!" She tackled Han's head with both her hands and growled playfully as she toyed with his rather-unkempt hair, soon causing them both to erupt in giggles.

When the "hair war" ended and the couple had caught their breaths, Han grinned at his wife. "You really missed me, didn't ya?"

"Han, please, let's not start that."

But Han wasn't about to leave her alone with this subject. "You spent many sleepless hours starin' into the darkness, wishin' that I was here, didn't ya?"

"Well...sometimes it was a bit too quiet without your snoring to put me to sleep," Leia said with her own cheeky grin.

Fortunately for Leia, Han chose not to continue this subject at the moment, instead wrapping his arms around his wife, pushing her backward, and giving her lips a long, hungry kiss. "Remember what you said you owed me when I came back?"

"I've been looking forward to it, honey," said Leia, fiercely grabbing his neck.

An hour later, Leia was lying on her back, her hair spread out on the pillow beneath her, her nightgown pushed up to her middle, a dreamy smile on her face. Han lay on top of her with his head on her chest, asleep. Leia gazed into the dark, absorbing the warmth of her husband's body, the smell of his skin, the sound of his breath mixed with the occasional snore. Yes, he had been right...she had missed him. Now that he was back from his week-long absence, she could savor this night as something extra-special.

She would have very much liked to remain like this all night, but her body started tingling from Han's weight, and however she tried to ignore it, it stubbornly grew in intensity. Finally, with a heavy sigh, she slowly and cautiously nudged Han's sleeping form off of her. Once her arms were free, she gently grasped her husband by his underarms and sat him up. After a few careful nudges to the side, she tenderly lay him back down on his rightful side of the bed, giving him a kiss on the forehead in the process.

"Good night, honey," she whispered.

She then scooted back to her own side of the bed and lay down herself, suddenly tired. She had nearly fallen asleep when she heard the mattress creak loudly from a body turning over, which was almost immediately followed by one arm reaching under her and another arm wrapping over her, both hands pressing on her stomach.

"All night pregnancy hug," Han's voice murmured dreamily.

Leia gave a serene smile as she patted her husband's hands. "Welcome back, Han."

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Meanwhile, Padme lay on the sofa, unable to sleep - not because of physical discomfort but because of her mind's activity. Was she ready? How would she react to seeing the place where her husband's body was burned? Would she faint again?

No, Padme promised herself, she was not going to faint again. She had survived everything else that had occurred in the last week - she could survive this too.

Perhaps this would be an opportunity to teach her daughter more about what Anakin used to be. But how could she do that when Leia seemed determined to believe that her father was pure, unchangeable evil, no matter what she was told?

_Don't think like that,_ Padme told herself. _She only needs time. If you are gentle with her, she'll start accepting Ani._

Be gentle...but firm at the same time. Diplomatic. Yes, that was the best way to work with Leia.

She tried to push these restless thoughts out of her head and instead imagine that her husband was lying next to her, but the fantasy would not come, for her mind seemed to be grounded in reality - the reality that Ani was no more. Dead. Nothing but ashes.

AN: So as you can see, in case anyone was wondering, Chewie WILL be in this story. I hope to get the next chapter up soon, but you know, school always has to come first.


	16. Chapter 16

"My Mother"

By EsmeAmelia

Chapter 16

AN: WOOHOO, OVER 300 REVIEWS! Thank you to everyone who made it possible! Anyway, sorry to everyone who's been anxiously awaiting updates (college, you know). (slaps herself) Augh, I wrote earlier in this fic that Padme had never touched her son, but after getting the ROTS DVD I realized that she DOES touch Luke in the movie. Oh well, this is an AU fic, and I like the "first touch" scene in Chapter 11 too much to get rid of it. Anyway, enjoy the chapter, and a special thanks to the reviewer akidura for giving me an idea used in this chapter.

"So...this is the famous Millennium Falcon," Padme said when she stepped onto the docking platform where Han's self-proclaimed "fastest ship in the galaxy" was. She found that she couldn't help raising her brows at its grungy appearance and rather unstable-looking structure.

"Yeah, that's the first reaction she usually gets," said Han, "but just wait 'till you see her in action. She's outrun the biggest starships in the galaxy and maneuvered her way out of any situation you can imagine."

"He's right, Mother," said Luke, who had decided at the last minute to join them on the trip.

"Yes indeed," said 3PO, "although I must say that there have been times when Master Han has taken unnecessary risk with that ship, like that one time when..."

"All right, will the passengers please step on board?" Han interrupted with a wide gesture towards the ramp. "Just a few minutes and we'll be off. Leia, help me get her ready for takeoff, will you?"

Padme gathered her skirt up in her arms before stepping on the ramp, taking whatever precautions she could to keep her dress from getting dirty and wishing that she were wearing pants like her daughter.

The interior of the ship was as grungy as the exterior, if not more. As she followed Luke and the droids to the cockpit, Padme kept wondering if Han had ever cleaned it. For such a skilled pilot, he didn't seem too skilled at maintaining his ship's appearance.

"This was practically Han's home before he got married," Luke explained as he and Padme slid into the passenger seats of the cockpit. "His bachelor pad, you might say. Don't worry - you'll get used to the smell quickly."

"What was that, kid?" Han said as he and Leia entered the cockpit. "Tryin' to convince your mom that this place has a stench when it's only because of your hyper-sensitive Jedi nose?"

"It's okay Han, this place smells fine," Padme quickly said, although there _was_ a slight odor in the air.

"You know she's lying, honey," Leia teased as she got into the copilot's seat, the place she was filling up temporarily until Han's official copilot returned.

Han rolled his eyes. "Ya know, I can get a new substitute copilot."

Leia smirked. "And that new substitute will say this place smells, so then you'll have to get _another _substitute, and then that substitute will say this place smells..."

"Leia, don't be too hard on him," Padme said gently, a bit delighted that she had an opportunity to reprimand her daughter, like how she might have during her childhood.

Han sat down in the pilot's seat. "Is everyone ready for liftoff?"

"Well Captain Solo," said 3PO, "to be honest, I feel that perhaps someone else should pilot the ship. After all, you do tend to be reckless, and I'm certain Chewbacca won't like it if you fail to get us to Kashyyyk in one piece. Perhaps Miss Padme could pilot. I hear that she has some experience..."

"Is everyone _besides_ 3PO ready for liftoff?" Han interrupted. After waiting only a second, he said, "Okay, everyone's ready, we're off."

Padme felt the floor vibrate under her feet as the Falcon's engine revved up. Within moments, the vibration crept up her body until she was bouncing in her seat. Outside the window, she saw Coruscant's atmosphere gradually fading from light blue to black. She supposed that the stars were now visible, but the constant jerking of her head kept her from focusing.

"Pretty boring without something chasing us, isn't it?" said Leia.

"I'll say," said Han. "Want me to try one of those maneuvers for old time's sake?"

"WHAT?" 3PO exclaimed. "Master Han, we happen to have a guest present who is not used to this ship's temperament. If she were to become ill from the experience..."

"Relax, Goldenrod," said Han. "I was kidding."

Padme was getting curious about what those "maneuvers" were like, but she decided that finding about them could wait until after her stomach was used to this ship.

"All right, calculations are set," said Han. "Everyone ready for the jump to light speed?"

"I hope," Padme struggled to say between bounces.

"Okay," said Han. "Here we go. Hold on to any meals you've eaten, cause you may lose 'em."

The suddenly-visible stars turned into long streaks, illuminating the window for a few seconds before Padme was pasted to the back of her seat by the leap into hyperspace.

--------------------

Padme was seated at the game table, drumming her fingers on the table and staring over at R2 and 3PO, who were having a conversation of which she could only understand 3PO's end, which consisted mainly of phrases such as "that's very interesting" and "amazing." But her attention was not focused on the droid she could understand but on the droid who spoke in beeps and buzzes. She had learned some time ago that R2 had not been mind-wiped like 3PO was, but she had not yet been brave enough to ask him if his data files had been cleaned, for there had been something in his data files that was precious to her.

"Should be at Kashyyyk at about fourteen-hundred hours," Han said as he entered with the twins. "Then after picking up Chewie, we'll be off to Endor."

Leia slid into the seat next to her mother. "Are you up for a game?"

Padme shook her head. "No, thanks." After a moment, she asked, "So, what do you think Chewie will think of me?"

"If you're nice to his cub, he'll like you," replied Leia.

"His...cub?" said Padme, scanning the room with her eyes, then grinning when her eyes met with Han.

Han gave a slightly-embarrassed grin back at her, confirming who Chewie's "cub" was. "Hey, Wookiees live a long time - we're all still kids by their standards. 'Cept maybe you, but you're gonna have to decide how old you are first." After a clear of the throat, he changed the subject. "You wanna see something?"

"Sure," said Padme.

Han walked over to a table on the opposite end of the lounge and picked up a burgundy colored box which looked like it contained something important, if small.

"Han, you keep that _there?_" Leia exclaimed.

"Where else, sweetheart?" Han said as he brought the box over to the game table.

"Well Leia, this is his favorite place," said Luke.

"Where do you have yours?" Leia asked him in an impatient voice.

"In my bedroom," replied her brother.

"See Han, why don't you keep yours there?"

"And miss seein' your exasperated face when you find out I keep it here?" Han scoffed. "Now c'mon, let's let your mom see this." He opened the box and pulled out a ribbon from which a golden medal of honor dangled. Etched on the medal were the words "Hero of the Rebel Alliance."

"Nice, huh?" said Han in a boastful voice. "Leia awarded these babies to Luke and I after we blew up the first Death Star. So you see, you don't have a completely worthless son-in-law."

"I never thought I did," said Padme.

Leia rolled her eyes. "Now hold on, _Luke_ was the one who actually destroyed the Death Star. You merely provided a diversion."

"Merely?" said Han. "If I hadn't come in when I did, you'd all be nothin' but bits of debris endlessly floatin' through space, and you'd be thinkin', 'Oh, if only Han had come to provide a diversion, then maybe someone could've destroyed that damn Death Star and I'd still be in one piece.'"

Padme smirked, Luke giggled, and even Leia relaxed her face a bit.

"All right, we all had a part in the Death Star's destruction," said Luke. "None of us could have done it alone."

Padme nodded slightly as her heart started throbbing from the sight of R2. Did he still have it? Would she be able to show it to her children?

"Mother?" asked Leia, apparently sensing Padme's discomfort. "Is something wrong?"

Padme breathed deeply. "Leia, Luke, Han...I have something I'd like to show you." She rose from her seat and made her way over to the astro droid, silently praying to any higher beings out there that he would still have it.

"R2?" she said in an artificially calm voice.

R2 beeped and turned his dome to face her.

"R2...do you still have recording 401?"

She couldn't understand the words of R2's beeping response, but his enthusiastic tone indicated that his answer was yes. Padme felt her lungs relax as if they had just been released from a corset.

She motioned for her children. "Come over here."

Luke, Leia, and Han gathered around her, all with eyes full of curiosity.

"R2," Padme breathed with both nervousness and excitement, "play recording 401."

A light shone out of R2's eye onto the floor, soon creating a holographic image in the glowing circle: an image of a man and a woman with clasped hands. The woman wore a long white veil, the traditional bridal outfit, and the man wore a long robe, his hair chopped short except for a small braid that dangled over his shoulder. The two figures gazed into each other's eyes before leaning into a passionate kiss.

"That's our wedding," Padme said after a hard swallow. "That's...that's what your father used to look like."

She wanted to turn around and see how her children were reacting, but the hologram of that long-ago day had imprisoned her eyes. There was Ani - young, healthy, alive, preserved forever in the recording of a time before his innocence had been removed, when neither figure in the hologram could dream of what would become of them.

"We were married in secret," she said as she struggled to keep her eyes dry. "The old Jedi Order forbade marriage. 3PO and R2 were our witnesses."

"No we weren't," said 3PO. "I'm certain I would remember something like that."

3PO's voice jolted Padme's eyes out of their trance, freeing her to look back at the others.

Luke's eyes were widened in fascination, staring at the recording as if it were his baby holo: unfamiliar but nostalgic. His mouth was curled up in the very slightest of facial expressions that might be called a smile by some, but there also seemed to be something troubling him, which prevented his mouth from moving further up.

"Marriage was forbidden for the Jedi?" he asked.

A splash of coldness fell down Padme's back at the realization at what she had just done by revealing that marriage was forbidden to the Jedi. "Luke," she said after calming herself, "that was one of the mistakes that the old Jedi Order made." She fiercely looked into her son's eyes. "When you open your Jedi academy, do not make the same mistake that they made." Her voice was firm an authoritative, a mother instructing her child. "Let the Jedi have a chance to live the way they want while they're protecting the galaxy."

Luke's eyes widened further, as though taken aback by either the revelation about the Jedi Order or his mother's sudden strictness, but he did nod his head.

Padme then turned to look at her daughter and son-in-law, the ones who had yet to make piece with Ani, who still showed the scars of his treatment of them. They too had wide eyes, but not from fascination - their eyes were wide from uneasiness. Their chests, especially Leia's, were rising and falling in rapid motion, keeping rhythm with the audible heaves of air being carried in and out of their noses. They each had an arm around the other, seeking support in this awkwardness.

Padme wanted to say something to them, to find the perfect statement that would draw out acceptance and forgiveness, but nothing would come. Peace with Anakin would have to come on its own - she could encourage it, but she could not force it.

An alarm sound abruptly pulled everyone back into the real world. "Looks like we're comin' in on Kashyyyk," said Han.

--------------------------

It seemed only two seconds after the group descended the Falcon's ramp that they were surrounded by Wookiees. The sounds of their growling greetings irritated Padme's ears, but she knew better than to cover her ears when they could see her - she had no desire to lose a limb right now, even though they seemed to be ignoring her, instead grabbing Han, Luke, and Leia into tight embraces. Apparently they were popular around here, especially Han.

One particularly large Wookiee shoved his way through the crowd, ran up to Han, and squeezed him so tightly that for a moment Padme wondered if he was trying to strangle him, but his happy growls and the joyous way he picked Han up quickly dismissed the possibility.

This one must be Chewbacca.

Han! Han! I missed you! the Wookiee roared in exhilaration.

"Chewie...Chewie..." Han gasped as he was spun around in Chewie's arms, "...Chewie...okay...I missed you too...but I CAN'T BREATHE!"

Oh, sorry cub, Chewie said as he put Han down. I keep forgetting that humans are so sensitive.

"Thanks, pal," Han said after a large inhale. "How's the family?"

Ask them, Chewie replied. They're right here. With that, a slightly-smaller female Wookiee and a child Wookiee ran up to Han and tackled him in similar hugs while Chewie turned his attention to Leia and Luke.

Leia! Luke! I'm so glad you came too, he said after gathering both of them into an enthusiastic (though more relaxed) hug.

"Nice to see you again, Chewie," said Leia.

Han staggered over to them, his hair tussled up from three Wookiee embraces. "A lot's been goin' on since you left, Chewie. For starters..." He placed his hands on Leia's shoulders and grinned widely. "...our little family's gonna expand soon."

You're going to have a cub? Chewie exclaimed at Leia.

The question was directed at Leia, but as she didn't seem to understand what he had just said, Han answered it for her. "_Two_ cubs, Chewie. She's havin' twins!"

The Wookiees all broke into a round of cheers. The female Wookiee patted Leia on the head and congratulated her, while the child Wookiee touched her stomach. He felt her stomach for a few seconds, but then he removed his hand and growled in disgust, as though he wanted to feel the babies moving and didn't understand that that part of the pregnancy would come later.

Padme's heart started thumping when she realized that the child Wookiee was now scampering towards _her._ She still didn't have a plan on explaining her story.

Hello, said the child Wookiee. Who are you?

Padme breathed. "I'm Padme."

I'm Lumpy, the child Wookiee growled.

"So, you know Chewbacca?" said Padme, secretly ready to protect her lungs in the event that this Wookiee would decide to hug her.

He's my father, said Lumpy. Are you friends with Han?

"Well...yes," said Padme, unsure how to explain her relationship with Han to a child.

Lumpy! the female Wookiee called as she, Chewie, Leia, Luke, and Han all headed towards them. What are you doing?

Just talking to her, Lumpy growled innocently.

Who is this, cub? Chewie asked, gesturing towards Padme.

Han seemed just as unsure as she was. "Well Chewie, she's...uh...well...that's kinda a long story...and..."

Padme saved him the trouble by stepping up to Chewie and offering her hand. "It's nice to meet you, Chewbacca, I've heard so much about you. I'm Padme Amidala."

Chewie roared a Wookiee greeting as he shook Padme's hand. Are you named after the senator Padme Amidala, Naboo's senator in the old Republic?

"Uh...not exactly," Padme said. "See...I _am_ that same senator from the old Republic." She immediately felt like slapping herself for giving such a blunt answer.

Chewie scratched his head before roaring his response. No, that's impossible. The senator Padme Amidala is dead!

"People _thought_ I was dead," Padme struggled with her words, "but I was actually carbon frozen, like your cub was. I remained in the carbonite for many years before Leia found me."

Chewie scratched his head and stared at Han, as though speculating that he was playing a joke.

"I know, that's hard to believe," said Han. "I didn't believe it at first either."

Is it _possible_ to survive in carbonite for that long? said Chewie.

"Apparently," said Han. "You got your evidence right here."

The female Wookiee seemed not to be concerned with the validity of Padme's story, but rather delighted to be meeting her. She grabbed Padme's hand and shook it wildly. Hello Padme! she growled cheerfully. I'm Malla, Chewie is my husband. I used to admire you when you were in the Senate. All those stories I heard were amazing. I never thought I'd actually meet you.

"Thank you," said Padme.

Meanwhile, Luke and Leia were staring at Padme with astonished faces.

"Mother...you can understand them?" said Luke.

_'Mother?' _Chewie yelled.

"Uh...yeah," said Han. "...uh...see...that was the _other_ unbelievable news we had for you."

Chewie continued to stare at Padme. You're Leia and Luke's _mother?_

Padme swallowed. "Yes...I was frozen just after they were born...I guess it was the Force's will for my daughter to rescue me."

She had no time to protect her lungs before Chewie ran up to her and scooped her up into a smothering hug, pressing against her bones to the point of extreme discomfort. I'm so happy that my friends have a mother!

"They won't for long if you don't put her down," said Han.

Sorry, said Chewie. He gently placed Padme back on the ground.

"You okay?" Han asked Padme. "I should've warned you about that."

"I'm fine...I'm fine..." Padme said as she gripped her sore chest.

"All right, if we're done with the hugging, I would like to ask her something," said Leia as she made her way up to Padme. "Mother, you can understand the Wookiees?"

Padme nodded. "Fluency in multiple languages can be a strong benefit in the field of diplomacy, Leia. I suggest you try it." She grinned. "It would mean that you wouldn't need to take a translator droid everywhere you go."

Leia grinned back. "Yes, that could _really_ be a benefit."

-----------------------

After a long string of goodbyes from Malla, Lumpy, and the rest of the Wookiees, the group was back on the Millennium Falcon, Chewie now in his rightful copilot's seat. Padme once again found herself shaking violently as the ship took off. She doubted that she would ever get used to this ship's tendencies. If this was what the ride was like regularly, what was it like with something chasing it?

"All right," Han said in the authoritative voice he used before activating the hyperdrive. "Next stop, Endor."


	17. Chapter 17

"My Mother"

By EsmeAmelia

Chapter 17

AN: SORRY I TOOK SO LONG WITH THIS UPDATE! College finals and final projects are HELL. Well, the good news is that I'm on winter break now, during which I should get a few chapters up. Oh, and my apologies in advance to the Ewok haters.

Padme was once again at the game table, this time attempting to concentrate on the game of holochess she was playing with Chewie, but having great difficulty ignoring the speed of her heart's beating. She felt like she had eaten too much and her stomach now wanted to purge out the remnants of her food - her brain's attention was focused on the happenings inside her body, vaguely trying to keep everything in balance.

Chewie had been muttering various growls under his breath which Padme couldn't make out, but she figured that they were about her husband, for these growls had been coming out of his mouth since she told him the reason why they were going to Endor.

"Chewie," she finally said, "I know why you hate him, but can you please try to understand my point of view?"

Yes, said Chewie, but I can not forgive him. He hurt my cub.

"I know," Padme sighed.

He hurt your cubs, too, said Chewie.

Padme lowered her eyes as she made a halfhearted move which allowed her piece to get easily captured. "Yes, he did," she said softly, "but he also _gave_ me my cubs."

Chewie was silent as he captured her piece.

"Chewie," Padme said gently, "what if Malla hurt Lumpy or Han?"

She wouldn't, Chewie said simply.

"But suppose she _did,_" Padme persisted. "Wouldn't you still want to believe in her?"

Chewie pretended to be concentrating on the game instead of listening to her, but she could see the slight flinch he gave, indicating that he didn't know how to answer her question.

"We're comin' in on Endor," Han's voice interrupted.

Padme's heart raced faster than she had previously believed was capable.

----------------------------------

"Han, could you please remind me why you're pointing that thing everywhere?" Padme asked as she descended the ramp behind her son-in-law, who had his arm stretched in front of him, blaster ready to fire.

"Cause this place is inhabited by man-eating furballs," said Han.

"Oh, come on," said Leia. "Didn't the Ewoks help us defeat the stormtroopers?"

"Hey, you weren't the one who was gonna be their dinner," Han retorted. "Besides, there might be _others_ here, ones who _don't _know us and will see us as enemies." He looked back at his wife. "Don't worry, I ain't gonna hurt 'em, just scare 'em off."

"Yeah, that worked wonderfully last time, didn't it?" scoffed Luke.

Han rolled his eyes and turned back around, stepping off the ramp onto the ground, scanning the area with his blaster, then motioning for the others to follow him.

Padme's shoes sank slightly into the muddy ground, but she could easily pull them out. She gazed upward at the towering trees that seemed to be brushing the sky, rivaling even the buildings on Coruscant for height. The air smelled crisp and fresh, similar to the air on Naboo. Anakin's final resting place at least appeared to have a pleasant atmosphere. She slowly circled the small clearing where the Falcon had landed, wondering which direction would bring her to the place where her husband became ashes.

"Ka-_cha!_"

Padme looked down to find that a crudely-fashioned spear was pointed at her waist. The spear was held by a small brown creature wearing nothing but a scraggly hood. An Ewok, Padme reasoned.

"Hello," she said to the creature.

The creature continued to hold up the spear, pushing it closer to her waist.

"Are you one of those 'man-eating furballs' that live here?" Padme said with a lighthearted tone. "If you are, I was expecting you to be bigger."

The creature appeared not to understand her, but he also seemed a bit confused by her casual voice, for he began to lower his spear.

"Hey you, get away from her!"

Both Padme and the creature whirled around to face Han's blaster. Padme raised her eyebrows at her son-in-law, about to deliver a lecture, but the creature dropped his spear and happily ran up to him.

"Oh, it's you," Han said in a slightly-groaning voice as the creature hugged his legs.

"One of your 'man-eating furballs,' I presume?" Padme said with a grin and a hand on her hip.

"Hey, one of 'em may be harmless, but when they're in numbers, they're deadly," Han declared as he put away his blaster. "You should've seen how they took down those stormtroopers."

"Yeah, but I still can't understand how you and Luke and Chewie managed to get yourselves tied up by them," Leia said as the creature wrapped his arms around her legs and she rubbed his head.

"And I still can't understand how you got welcomed into their tribe without nearly becomin' dinner first," retorted Han.

"Maybe they don't like to eat women," said Leia. "Or maybe I didn't greet them by pointing a blaster at their faces."

"Hey, I didn't do that either!" insisted Han. "They took it from me before I could!"

Meanwhile the creature had noticed 3PO and now had his head bowed down, as though in reverence. He repeated a long, low noise that sounded like, "Oh-ooooooooh, oh-oooooooh, oh-ooooooooooooooooh."

3PO said something to the creature that sounded like meaningless chittering to Padme's ears, but was apparently understandable to the creature. Even with her fluency in multiple languages, there were times when a translator droid was helpful.

After hearing the creature's response, 3PO looked up at the others. "He says that at last, the golden god and the great heroes have returned. He will inform the tribe of our arrival and tonight, there will be a feast in our honor."

Han instinctively stepped in front of Padme. "Tell him that Padme's not interested in bein' the main course of the feast," he said quickly. "In fact, tell him we want a _vegetarian_ feast, no people or Wookiees or whatever else, got that?"

"A bit paranoid, aren't we?" said Padme.

3PO had another brief chittering exchange with the creature, after which he looked up and said, "He says that they will be sure to abide by our wishes, and since Miss Padme is related to the great heroes, she will be one of the guests of honor at the feast." He walked up to Padme and shook her hand. "Congratulations, it looks like you will be accepted into their tribe."

--------------------------------------------

The Ewok began leading Leia, Han, Chewie, and the droids to his settlement. Since Luke had not participated in the Battle of Endor, it appeared that he was the one the Ewok was least-excited about, which gave him an opportunity to slip Padme away from the group while the Ewok was chittering with them.

"Are you ready?" he asked.

"Yes," Padme breathed, doing her best to ignore the way her heart was throbbing. She looked back at the rest of the group. "Isn't Leia coming?"

Luke glanced at his feet. "I asked her earlier, but she said she didn't want to."

"Did she say why?" Padme asked, although she knew the answer.

Luke scrunched his face. "Something about how his body should have been thrown into the oceans of Kamino so no one could pay him respects."

Padme grunted through her teeth. "A simple 'I don't feel comfortable there' would have sufficed."

Luke placed his hand on her shoulder. "She's been through a lot."

"I know, I know," Padme said in a frustrated voice. "But can't she be at least a _little_ more open?"

Luke's hand slipped off of his mother and his body began moving at a quicker pace. "Come on, follow me."

"Why has it been easy for you?" Padme asked as she followed him through the trees.

"What?" asked Luke, his pace slowing a bit.

"Why has it been easy for you to accept him?"

"Easy?" Luke sounded like he was straining to stifle a chuckle. "I don't think you'd think that if you heard the scream I gave after Vader's revelation."

"Easi_er_, then," Padme clarified. "Easier than for Leia."

Luke's footsteps became smaller. "Well...maybe because I saw him come back." He wrung his hands together as he stopped walking altogether. "I saw him change before my eyes from a soulless demon to a caring father." He seemed to be gazing out into the air, not focusing on anything. "His face...that deformed face that perished in my arms...when I think about that moment...all anger at him disappears."

Padme blinked rapidly to keep her tears intact. Even without the suit, her husband's face was not the one she knew. The young, smooth, handsome face in the hologram had changed beyond any recognition. Again she cursed herself for not being there during the times when he probably needed her the most.

Luke had begun walking again, now back at his original swift pace. "We're almost there," he said.

Padme swallowed hard as she followed her son. Her heart felt like a withering plant that was about to break apart - weakened by hardships, on the point where any further tampering would cause unchangeable damage. The tree branches seemed to be pointing away from the direction she was walking, telling her to go back.

She wasn't sure how long she and Luke had been walking before he turned his head back at her, his normally-wide eyes lowered into a compassionate expression.

"We're here," he said.

-------------------------------------------------

She walked into the clearing with her eyes closed, breathing in the crisp air and listening to the leaves crunching under her feet, her eyes unwilling to take in what was in front of her, but after a few moments of walking in darkness, a gust of wind wisped past her ears, the sudden chill of which stimulated her eyes to open.

There was nothing - nothing but black, charred logs and ashes, haphazardly piled on each other, breaking apart. As she stepped closer to the torched area, she felt the tiniest flecks of ash blowing into her face and gulped at the thought that they might be pieces of Anakin.

Nothing could prevent her eyes from leaking when she reached the decomposing mound of black. Perhaps somewhere in her subconscious had been the foolish hope that there would be her husband's actual body here, looking like the young, vibrant figure she knew, with his eyes closed and his hands clasped atop his chest, as though he were only sleeping. A mound of burnt logs was infinitely more painful than a body - it sent the final conformation of Ani's death through her like a blasterbolt. There was nothing left of him - he now only existed in intangible memories and holograms.

Her teary eyes scanned the site, taking in every piece of black, all of Anakin merged with the ashes to the point of being indistinguishable. The water in her eyes caused all the color in her vision to expand beyond their boundaries, filling almost her entire range of sight with the horrible black of death. The blackness was so intense that she almost did not notice the blurry sun in the middle of it.

She blinked to clear her vision, realizing that yes, something in the pile was reflecting the light. Did she dare investigate it? Were those really her hands that were reaching out to touch whatever it was?

They must be, for she soon felt the coldness of metal through the ash against her fingers. As she brushed the ash away from the object, the light's reflection grew bigger until it was joined by a dark, distorted reflection of Padme's face. She now found her hands trying to pick up the object, as though some external being was controlling her body.

Her tears made her unable to identify the object in her hands when she first lifted it, but a blink or two cleared her vision, and immediately caused her to regret picking it up.

It was a mask.

The mask was completely black, as black as the ash from which it had been lifted. It had two circles on its "face" where the eyes would otherwise be, but they were completely void of expression. The coldness against Padme's hands seemed to match the coldness of the face itself.

She nearly jumped when she felt Luke's hand on her shoulder - she had practically forgotten that he was with her.

"That was the mask of Darth Vader," he said solemnly. "The only face I or anyone else knew him by until just before he died."

Padme's eyes were beginning to ache from producing tears. She was holding a tangible remnant of the evil version of Anakin, the artificial face that permanently enclosed her husband, separating him from the world.

"Wh...why did you leave it here?" she choked, unable to remove her focus from the mask.

She heard her son emit a sigh. "It didn't burn, and well...I didn't know what else to do with it."

"This is the symbol of Ani's years in the dark side!" she almost shouted. "Why would you place it on his grave as if it's a loving reminder of the good times with him?"

Luke placed both his hands on her shoulders and turned her around to face him. "Mother," he said firmly, "we don't know that whatever incident that caused him to need the mask had anything to do with the dark side, and even if it did, that doesn't change the fact that this mask _saved_ him." He ran his hands down her back, giving one side of her back a soft massage and the other side the irritating feel of metal. "If he hadn't had the suit, he would have perished on the dark side." He then took the mask from Padme and tenderly placed it back on the mound. "This isn't the symbol of his life in the dark side...you might could even say it's what enabled him to come back to the light."

Padme sniffed heavily as she stared back at the mask. Not a symbol of the dark side...but still a cold, expressionless face. What would she have done if she had been there when he needed the suit? To never be able to kiss him or touch him...to always have to see her husband covered in black...could she have stood it? It was Anakin under the suit...yes, it was Anakin...but he was forever isolated.

Luke wrapped his arms around his mother, letting her rest her head on his shoulder as the tears flowed. "It was only his shell, Mother...only his shell. The suit didn't destroy him, and neither did the dark side."

Padme found that her breath was beginning to flow a bit more normally, without as many sobs interrupting it. Within a few seconds she was able to figure out what her son was doing, since her husband had done it to her as well. Luke was using the Force to soothe her, but she didn't know whether to be grateful or angry. Yes, she could think more clearly when the devastation had been eased slightly, but those clearer thoughts in turn make her think that this was artificial, that her emotions had been drugged.

"Mother, remember," Luke continued, "that face in the recording you showed us will forever be his real face."

Padme pulled back slightly from the embrace, gazing at her son's face as though she were seeing it for the first time. "I never told you...but you look like your father." She stroked his cheek. "And your skin feels exactly the same as his..."

Luke reached up and tugged at a strand of his hair. "Would I look more like him if I cut my hair into that same style?"

Padme almost smiled. "That was the regulation hairstyle for the padawanns. After he was knighted he let his hair grow into wonderful curls." She raised a brow at her son. "By the way, that's another thing the old Jedi Order did that you don't have to follow."

"I guess not," said Luke. "I don't think Leia would be too happy if I made her cut her hair."

That statement add just enough lightness to the moment that allowed them to go back into the embrace, this time absorbing each other as each reminisced on the husband and father that was no more.

----------------------------------------------

That evening, the entire Ewok tribe came to the feast for the "great heroes." Many of them came with their pipes and drums, providing a musical ambiance for the celebration. There was a large variety of food and drink, which was generally agreed by the guests to be delicious, though most of the time they didn't have the slightest idea what it was.

"Hey, where's the meat?" Han said after scanning the tables for the third time, though he had already eaten a great deal.

"There isn't any," said Leia.

"What?" Han exclaimed.

"Don't you remember this?" said Leia. She then lowered her voice to its deepest-possible range. " 'In fact, tell him we want a _vegetarian_ feast, no people or Wookiees or anything else!' "

"I didn't think they'd actually _listen,_" said Han.

"Well, sometimes you get what you ask for," scoffed Leia.

Han rolled his eyes, then glanced into the distance. "I feel sorry for your mom."

"Why? She seems to be enjoying herself."

"Yeah, but look." Han pointed at the circle of five or six Ewoks gathered around Padme. "They won't leave her alone."

"Better than eating her," Leia said with a grin. "Of course, you got both - they captured you for dinner and then they fussed over you."

"I'm gonna stop talkin'," Han groaned.

"Oh come on, you looked cute when they grabbed you and made you dance in circles," Leia said with her grin widening.

Han quickly stuffed a large vegetable piece in his mouth and turned away to cease the conversation.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

After the meal, most of the Ewoks and the guests of honor were gathered in one of the dwellings for after-dinner entertainment. Once the Ewoks had decided what kind of entertainment they wanted, 3PO gave the guests of honor his translation.

"They wish to hear a story," he announced before hobbling up to where Padme was seated. "Miss Padme, they wish to hear _your_ story."

Padme's stomach dropped. "I'm...I'm sorry, but I don't speak their language."

"Oh, do not worry about that," 3PO said cheerfully. "I would be happy to provide translations of everything you say. After all, I am fluent in over six-million forms of communication."

Padme looked past 3PO to the many pairs of Ewok eyes all staring at her in anticipation. "W-well...it would take a really long time to tell the story, and..." Before she could finish her statement, two of the Ewoks grabbed her hands, pulled her up from her seat, and led her to the center of the room.

She swallowed. Was she able to tell this complicated story? It wasn't the Ewoks who made her nervous - they probably wouldn't care if she simply made something up. The presence she cared about was that of her daughter, who was seated with her husband directly across from her, both faces looking like they were holding their breaths. Would hearing the entire story of Anakin finally open Leia's heart?

Padme cleared her throat. "Well...once there was a mighty Galactic Republic, in which thousands of planets lived in peace and democracy." She paused briefly for 3PO's translation, keeping her eyes on her daughter, as though trying to will her to listen to the story.

"And in this Republic," she continued after the translation, "there was a beautiful little planet called Naboo. It was ruled by a young queen - she was _very_ young, in fact only fourteen years old..."

As she told about her home and the blockade of her home, she continued to watch Leia. The daughter's face gradually relaxed as she heard about her mother's early life, even smiling a couple of times.

"...and in Watto's junk shop, Queen Amidala met..." She gave a hard breath. "...Watto's little slave boy, Anakin Skywalker..."

The story of Anakin's childhood seemed to be automatically flowing from her mouth without her having to think of the words, barely able to pause for 3PO's translations (and occasional sound effects). Whatever relaxation Leia had gained was now lost - she was now wearing the wide-eyed expression of discomfort that Padme had memorized.

"...with the blockade over and Senator Palpatine now on the chancellor's seat, Queen Amidala thought that things would finally get better for her home." She gulped. "But no one suspected what would eventually come from the chancellor's leadership. As for little Anakin, he was taken by Obi-Wan Kenobi to be trained as a Jedi. He and the queen were not destined to meet again until ten years later, when her term as queen had ended and the new queen had appointed her to represent the planet in the Galactic Senate..."

As she told of how her relationship with Anakin blossomed, she kept her eyes focused on Leia's uneasy face for almost the entire time, the only times when she looked away from her being when she glanced at Han, who looked equally uneasy as his wife. By the time the story reached Shmi's death, they were grasping each other's hands for support.

"_Forgive him,"_ her thoughts were saying as her words carried the tale along. _"Look underneath the mask. See what he once was - the real him, your father."_ The thoughts were intensely planted in her head, as though trying to send a message to her daughter, calling for her to read her mind and obey her.

The story's climax came almost without her being aware of it, so hard was her focus on Leia, who by now was close to shaking.

"If this were a fictional story," Padme breathed, struggling not to shake herself, "Padme's love for Anakin would turn him away from the dark side, and they would have their baby and live happily ever after...but life doesn't always work that way. Anakin saw that Obi-Wan had stowed away in Padme's ship, which caused his twisted mind to think that his wife was now against him. Harnessing the dark side of the Force, he grabbed her and choked her nearly to death."

The Ewoks gasped loudly after 3PO translated her statement, reminding Padme of their presence.

"Padme was rushed to a hospital," she continued with a rapid pace, "where she gave premature birth to not one but two babies: a boy, whom she named Luke, and a girl, whom she named Leia. Although the babies were safe, death was quickly overtaking the mother." As she paused for 3PO's translation, her mind rushed, trying to find a way to tell the next part of the story.

"As...as a final attempt to save her life, Padme's body was encased in carbonite and frozen." After 3PO translated that sentence, the Ewoks chittered wildly and pointed at Han, who was rolling his eyes and showing his palm, clearly not wanting to be brought into the center of attention.

"Yes...yes, like he was," Padme continued, "but he was released after six months, while Padme remained in her carbonite prison for much longer. No one knows why, but her frozen form was stored away and then abandoned. In the years that followed, Emperor Palpatine seized control of the entire galaxy with Anakin by his side, who was now known as Darth Vader, Palpatine's evil minion. Much death and destruction followed, with Padme still hibernating in her forgotten carbonite coffin."

After the translation, the Ewoks hollered in sadness. Many lowered their heads, as though in grief. Padme raised her hand as a gesture for them to continue listening.

"But that's not the end of the story," she announced. "The children of Anakin and Padme led a rebellion against the Emperor when they grew up. Not only did they overthrow the Empire, but they were ultimately able to free their parents from their prisons. Luke turned Anakin away from the dark side, while Leia found Padme and released her from the carbonite."

Barely a moment passed before the final translation and the Ewoks erupting in cheers. Padme seized this opportunity to step out of her storytelling area, so she wouldn't have to tell them about Anakin's death. She shuffled her way through the crowd to her daughter, who looked like she was struggling to breathe.

"Leia?" Padme said as she touched her daughter's cheek. "Are you all right."

"You...you were great up there," Leia said softly, without making eye contact.

"Yeah...yeah...great job," Han mumbled before rising from his seat, pulling Leia up with him. Before Padme could respond, they had disappeared out the doorway.

Padme wanted to follow them, but she restrained herself from doing so. They probably needed some time for themselves after her emotional story. At least their reaction had told her that she _had_ triggered their emotions. Perhaps they had even inadvertently felt some compassion for Anakin...or perhaps that was wishful thinking. Whatever their exact thoughts during the story had been, Padme was at least confident that another step towards acceptance had been taken.

AN: I suppose I should give credit to my cousin Roberta, who gave me a tiny bit of inspirtation for the scene where Luke hugs Padme and says "It's the shell...only the shell." After my father died, my mother, my cousin Roberta, and I went to see his body at the funeral home. My mother burst into tears and Roberta hugged her in much the same matter that Luke hugs Padme and she said "It's the shell...only the shell." I'm not usually one for putting autobiographical stuff into fanfics, but that line seemed to fit the scene. Anyway, the next chapter should be coming soon. (You WON'T have to wait a month like you did last time.)


	18. Chapter 18

"My Mother"

By EsmeAmelia

Chapter 18

AN: Hey all! Sorry it's been a little longer than I thought it would be - this chapter was freaking hard to write. Anyway, thanks to everyone who reviewed, hope you had a great holiday. Anyway, this chapter uses an idea that has been suggested (and begged for ;-) ) by several reviewers, but I actually planned to use this idea from almost the beginning. I just hope it lives up to expectations.

Padme was slowly coaxed out of sleep by the gentle, seductive voice of her husband. She fluttered her eyes open, allowing the beautiful image of Anakin holding their newborn son to enter her sight.

"Hey sleepyhead," he said with a grin. "I guess childbirth really does take it out of you."

"What did I miss?" Padme said in a tired but happy voice as she pushed herself up on her elbow.

"Well, they cleaned the babies up," said Anakin, sitting down on the edge of the bed and bringing the baby closer to his mother.

"Aw, little Luke," Padme said with a giggle as she tickled her new son's soft skin, making him coo with delight. "Look at him...he looks like you." After tenderly brushing his cheek with her finger, she asked, "Where's Leia?"

"Over in the bassinet," replied Anakin, his gaze fixed on the baby, as though afraid that looking away would make him disappear.

Padme pushed herself out of bed and made her way across the hospital room to the bassinet where her baby daughter lay. As she scooped the infant into her arms, the tiny girl made a noise that sounded like laughter.

"Leia...little Leia..." she murmured, gazing into her small eyes.

After a moment, she felt Anakin's strong metal hand on her shoulder. "Can you believe it...can you believe they're really here?" his voice whispered. Nearly before the completion of his sentence, Padme felt his lips pressing against hers in a passionate kiss. After the couple pulled out of the kiss, Padme saw that Anakin had tears streaming down his face.

"I was so worried about losing you..." he whispered. "All my nightmares..." He brushed Luke's forehead with his artificial thumb in a slightly rough manner. "I don't know what I would have done if they had taken you from me..."

"Anakin, don't talk like that," Padme quickly interrupted. "Look, we're all here, and we're all safe."

"Yes..." Anakin said in a stiff voice, as if he were in a trance. "It worked..."

Padme felt her eyes widen. "What worked?"

Anakin's metal hand patted her shoulder. "Don't worry about it. The important thing is that you're safe."

"I've been safe, Ani," replied Padme.

She then felt the pain of hard fingers digging into her skin. "No Padme," Anakin insisted, "you weren't safe. You were going to die giving birth, but I saved you." He put Luke in the bassinet and walked slowly to the window. "It was worth the sacrifices..." he said in a low voice.

"Sacrifices? What are you talking about?" Padme said in a slightly-worried voice as she joined him at the window, Leia still in her arms.

Anakin turned back at his wife with an uncomfortable-looking smile on his face. "It's nothing that should worry you, my love." He then reached his arms out to her. "May I hold my daughter?"

With only a slight hesitation, Padme gently placed Leia in her father's arms, after which the infant almost immediately emitted a shrill scream.

"Hey Leia, it's all right," Anakin said in a soft, tender voice. "Daddy's here."

But the father's voice did nothing to palliate the child; instead, her cries intensified, echoing around the room, causing Padme to cringe from the sound.

"Sweetheart...sweetheart...stop crying..." Anakin persisted, but his words again had no effect on the wailing baby, who was flailing her limbs, as though trying to escape his arms.

"Maybe she's hungry," Padme quickly suggested, holding out her arms.

Anakin reluctantly handed Leia to her mother, which instantly calmed her down. Her cries quickly dissolved into little giggles.

"There there," Padme whispered. "Are you hungry, Leia? Are you?" She discreetly pulled down a corner of her hospital gown so the baby could drink, but she seemed to have no interest - she clearly wasn't hungry.

"Honey, why were you crying?" Padme said in a soft, high voice after she pulled her gown back up. "Come on, let your daddy hold you."

She handed Leia back to Anakin, which immediately caused the baby to start crying recklessly again. A reddish color overtook her face as large tears poured out of her eyes.

"Leia...Leia..." Padme said with a hint of desperation. "Leia, this is your daddy...please..."

As Leia's screams continued, a dark, sinister look gradually conquered Anakin's face. It seemed that something had tampered with his mind, causing him to think that he was looking at an evil demon instead of his daughter. His hands slowly relaxed their grip on the infant.

"Ani!" Padme shouted.

Anakin's arms abruptly went to his sides, letting his newborn treasure fall to the hard floor.

"LEIA!" Padme screamed, diving to the floor. She scooped the wailing little girl into her arms, pushed herself into a sitting position, and froze in shock when her eyes looked up and met her husband.

Anakin - the man she loved, her husband, the father of her children - was glaring at her like he never knew her. A fiery yellowish glow overtook his irises, giving him an eerie, inhuman look.

Padme's voice was silenced down to a whisper. "Ani...what's happened to you?"

"I sacrificed for you," Anakin said in a deep voice that sounded almost mechanical.

Leia's screams continued to increase in volume, giving Padme's eyes freedom to look down at her daughter. Blood was streaming from a deep gash in her head.

"Innocent people died for you," the horrific voice continued.

Padme pressed Leia's bloody still-yelling head against her cheek. "Ani," she cried in desperation, "look at Leia!"

"I KILLED for you!" Anakin's nearly unrecognizable voice boomed.

"Ani...please..." Padme said between gasps as she felt her throat tighten up in pain, as though invisible hands were clutching her neck. "An...an...an...an..." Her voice grew weaker until she lost it completely, along with the ability to breathe. Darkness overcame her vision, with her daughter's hellish cries carrying her into oblivion.

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Padme awoke with a start, breathing rapidly, unsure of where she was. The suffocation and screaming were gone, replaced by the sensation that she was in a bed of some sorts. She breathed deeply as her mind sorted out her reality.

She was in the Ewok tribe's main dwelling, lying on one of the mats they had provided for the guests to sleep on. The nearly complete darkness told her that there was much of the night still to go.

For reassurance that her nightmare had indeed been just a dream, she rolled over to the side. Yes, there was Luke, most of him enveloped in darkness, but his closed eyes illuminated by the dim light provided by the remnants of the night's fire. His sleep appeared to be sound and blissful, his mouth again emitting the slightly-noisy breath that reminded her so much of Anakin.

She rolled over to the other side to look at her daughter. Leia's closed eyelids were repeatedly making slight creases and then relaxing, causing Padme to guess that she was in a dream. She appeared to be so peaceful...until a moan emitted from her lips.

"Mmmm...mmmmm...mmmm..." her voice said, as though she needed to say something important, but her ability to communicate was stunted by sleep. The sound was familiar to Padme - she had heard it when she shared the bed with Leia. It was often accompanied by tossing and turning, which led Padme to guess that her daughter had nightmares about the most devastating event in her life: the destruction of her planet. She didn't know exactly how she came to that conclusion, but her instinct told her that it was correct.

"Mmmmm...mmmmmm..." Leia's voice continued in a louder, more desperate tone.

Ever-so-carefully, Padme placed her hand on her daughter's cheek. "Leia," she whispered, "it's all right. You're dreaming. It's not really happening."

As if she had heard her mother, Leia's voice quieted down and her breath returned to its steady pace. Padme felt relief that her daughter's nightmare had been alleviated, but also a slight discomfort. If she had been dreaming about Alderaan, then her nightmare was something that _did_ really happen.

Padme lifted herself into a sitting position and brought her knees up to her chest, letting the blanket fall off of her. It appeared that she was the only conscious being in the dwelling: sleeping bodies nearly completely covered the floor, and the only sounds were the breathing and snoring coming from her comrades and various Ewoks. She shivered a bit, partly from the chill in the air and partly from emotion. In a sense, her own nightmare was something that really happened as well.

She slowly rose to her feet, striving to make as little noise as possible. Her eyes still looked at her children, their heads with a slightly-orange tint from the fire's dying glow. When she was standing, Han's slumbering body entered her range of sight, next to Leia. He was turned to the side, nearly leaning on his wife, his arm passing underneath her arm to wrap around her body. A couple sleeping together - something she had not seen since her decarbonization. Their intertwined bodies showed that even in sleep, they took comfort in each other's presence. The comfort that Padme once knew, but could never experience again.

Her body shivered with greater intensity, stimulating her bare arms to wrap around her chest. Both internal and external chills hastened her breath and irritated her skin. Warmth...she needed warmth. Should she get back into bed? No...no...getting back into bed would only set her up for more nightmares. She needed a different kind of warmth - a kind of warmth that could not be found here.

Though she was wearing only her slip, she found herself moving away from her sleeping children and the nearly-dead fire. She carefully tiptoed around the many Ewoks towards the doorway. Once she was outside the dwelling, her pace broke into a run out into the darkness.

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Would she be able to find it in the dark? The mighty trees expressed an eerie similarity to each other, spreading out in all directions. Her bare feet sprinted across the damp leaves on the muddy ground, striving to make as little contact as possible, but the moments when her soles had to touch the cold, slimy surface sent more shivers to the rest of her body. The chilly air whipped past her, sweeping away any perspiration that had been produced by running.

She soon found that she had lost her sense of direction through this forest of sameness, yet she kept running. Something outside her body was pushing her, telling her to continue on, that she would soon find her destination.

The strain on her lungs grew heavier with each moment, soon causing her breath to break into pants. Her strides became shorter and further apart until they ceased all together. Somewhere to sit down...she needed somewhere to sit down...

As if the moon had heard her body's needs, she saw a log only a few paces in front of her, on which she collapsed. For a few moments she simply sat, striving to catch her breath, attempting to figure out how long she had been running, but finding that time seemed to have passed without her awareness. The location of the Ewok village in relation to where she was now was nowhere in her knowledge.

After her breath returned to a somewhat-normal status, she looked up to see if she could find anything familiar. A mound of blackness nearly camouflaged with the night revealed itself to her, immediately telling her where she was: exactly where she wanted to be.

She stared at the nearly-invisible pyre, her eyes blinking rapidly. Anakin was there, and yet he wasn't. The one she loved wasn't here - only what was left behind after he burned. A cold breeze flew past her head, whipping her hair into her face, but she made no effort to push her hair back. When she was a few feet away from her husband's remains, coldness was both around her and inside her. She felt that she might as well be back in the carbonite, for warmth seemed to have completely eluded her.

Why had she come here? For comfort? No, there was no comfort here - only the everlasting reminder that Anakin was dead. She had come here because...because of what? Because...she had felt that she _had_ to return here...but why? Clouds of steam blew out of her mouth between chatters of her teeth. She lowered her head down to blow on her icy hands, but that action did little to help.

"Padme?"

She thought she heard someone call her name, but it had to be her imagination, unless of course, the others had woken up and gone looking for her, but that was unlikely to happen before morning. The wind must be affecting her hearing.

"Padme?"

_Were_ the others looking for her? No, she quickly dismissed the possibility - if the voice were Luke or Leia they would be calling her "Mother," the voice was too high to be Han's, and there was no accent or mechanical sound, so it couldn't be 3PO. It must be the wind, or perhaps her mind was twisted from the cold and thoughts of Anakin.

"Padme, look up."

Why was her mind torturing her like this? Now she recognized the voice and knew for certain that it had to be a delusion of some sorts, for the voice she thought she was hearing could never speak again.

"Padme, please look up."

Now her delusion sounded soft and meek, as though pleading her to look up. She almost found herself feeling sorry for the voice before reminding herself that it wasn't real. By now her head was almost touching her knees, her body curling up in an attempt to insulate itself from the cold.

"Padme...Padme...please..."

She closed her eyes, willing the voice to go away. Her mind had decided to become cruel by giving her ears a delusion of...of..._that_ voice. And just to torment her even more, her mind made the voice sound heartbroken by her refusal to obey it and look up to find nothing.

Was the voice gone now? Had she succeeded in eliminating that wicked delusion? For a few seconds it seemed that she had, until she once again heard words coming from nothing. She shut her eyes tighter, still determined not to obey the hallucination's request, for doing so would mean acknowledging it, giving it power over her.

"Padme...listen to me," the delusion pleaded.

_No, no, NO!_ Padme would not give in to stupid hope for the impossible.

Suddenly, she felt a burst of warmth. A peculiar kind of warmth: peculiar in its placement - it was concentrated on her left cheek. The rest of her was still freezing cold, but her left cheek felt enveloped in heat, almost as if someone were...touching it.

"There was once a little boy who shivered like that," that voice said, in an oddly gentle manner, one that almost made Padme want to surrender to it.

"He was alone, he was scared," the voice continued. The warmth on Padme's cheek was now making repeated motion down the skin, as if someone were stroking her cheek.

"And he was cold, so very cold...but he found warmth and comfort from a beautiful young queen."

Padme found her eyes beginning to open, but stopping when her eyelashes still curtained her vision.

"Now the queen is alone and cold, and the little boy wishes he could help her in the same way she once helped him." When the voice uttered this final sentence, its words shook, as if it were about to burst into tears.

For one second, Padme released her determination not to yield to the voice, but one second was all her mind needed. Her eyes opened as her head slowly rose, her logical mind expecting to see nothing, but when her head reached the level of the voice's source...

"Ani?"

The figure in front of her indeed looked like her husband - the same handsome man she loved, but a glowing bluish light surrounded him and he was nearly transparent, with no substance, like he was a hologram, but this figure had far more clarity than any hologram could. His arm was reaching in front of him with his hand "touching" her cheek, where she felt no _physical_ presence, only the inviting warmth: the heat of a touch without an actual touch. His mouth curled up into that smile: the smile that often welcomed her into a passionate kiss or a night of intimacy.

"This...this isn't real," Padme whispered with a swallow. "I'm...I'm dreaming this...I have to be."

"No Padme, no!" the figure that looked like Anakin cried. "I know it's difficult for you to believe, but you have to." He crouched down to Padme's eye level, showing her that those beautiful eyes were full of desperation. "I've waited so long...so very long..."

Padme's breath came out in short gasps as she spoke. "Well...if...if you're real, then why haven't you visited me before, when I suffered learning that I'd missed my children growing up, that you had cut off Luke's hand, destroyed Leia's planet, and done too many other things to mention, and that you were..." She found that she couldn't bring herself to utter the last word - there was something awkward about saying the word _dead _in this situation.

The Anakin-ghost lowered his eyes. "You weren't ready."

"I wasn't ready?" Padme exclaimed in near-anger. "What do you mean I wasn't ready?"

"Well think about it," the ghost said. "How do you think you would have reacted if you had seen me immediately after Luke filled you in on...everything? You needed time to adjust to your reality." He placed his hands on her numb hands, caressing them with that odd warmth. "I've been watching you, Padme. I saw you when you were suffering..." His face looked like it was about to cry...but could ghosts cry? "How I wished that I could comfort you..."

Padme sniffed heavily. "A-a-ani..." Her voice stuttered from her teeth beginning to chatter again.

"Here," Anakin said in a gentle voice, "let me warm you up." His ghostly hands began rubbing over her entire body, gradually brushing the cold away. She briefly shut her eyes, absorbing this wonderful sensation.

"There, feel better now?" the soothing voice said. Padme opened her eyes to see that the Anakin spirit was now sitting on the log next to her, his right hand clasping her hands and his left arm wrapped around her back. His face again wore that enticing smile she knew so well.

Padme found herself smiling back for a moment. "Yes," she replied. Then her smile faded, washed away by question. "Ani...why haven't you appeared to Leia?"

Anakin looked down, as though ashamed of the answer.

"Ani, she hates you," Padme persisted. "Why haven't you appeared to her?"

Anakin seemed to sigh. "I've tried...but she won't allow it."

"Won't allow it?"

Anakin looked back at her, a regretful expression on his face. "Padme, the ability to see and communicate with those who have joined the Force depends on how willing someone's subconscious is to do so."

"Leia's Force-sensitive," Padme replied weakly.

"And you're not, but you can see me while she can't," said Anakin. "It's because you have many positive memories of me, while Leia..." He propped his elbows onto his knees and rested his chin on his hands. "...I won't pretend I don't understand why Leia's subconscious refuses to let her see me. I managed to appear to Luke once, but he could only see me - he couldn't communicate with me." He seemed to be gazing into the distance. "I don't expect Leia to ever forgive me."

Padme found herself wrapping her arm around her husband, forgetting that he was now without physical substance. Her arm felt raised around a cloud of warm air. "Ani, I'm helping her," she said.

Anakin looked at her, his lip trembling. "Even if she could see me, I don't know how I could ever answer for...for what I've done. Her home...her entire planet...millions of lives cut short..." His head suddenly drooped down and pressed its warm air against her chest, like he had collapsed in grief.

Padme would have never imagined that a ghost could still be so vulnerable. Her fingers began stroking his spirit head, quickly getting used to his form. "It's all right Ani..." she murmured. "...I'm here."

"It was horrible, Padme," Anakin whispered. "After the Emperor told me you were dead...something happened to me. It was my final step into the dark side. I felt like...like no one had the right to live if you were gone."

How could Padme respond to that? The burning feelings within her were returning, the blaming of herself for all that Anakin did.

"No Padme," Anakin quickly said. "None of it was your fault. It was my own misguided, twisted, corrupted mind."

Padme desperately wanted to change the subject, yet once she had heard Anakin tell her that it wasn't her doing, she found that she was beginning to believe him - the burning feelings were slightly quenched.

"Ani," she said after a moment, "what caused you to need...need that _thing_?"

Anakin returned to a sitting position and wrung his hands together. "The lavas of Mustafar attacked me after a fight."

"A fight?" Padme repeated. "With whom?"

"With me," a deep voice answered.

Padme turned to find another ghostly figure walking toward them. This one was an elderly looking man with a short gray beard - and yet there was something oddly familiar about him.

"Obi-Wan?" Padme said, nearly smiling.

"Yes," said the figure. "A bit older than you remember, I guess. If you like, I can take the form you know."

"That might be nice," said Padme, now in an unmistakable grin. Then, without any noticeable transition, the younger Obi-Wan was standing in front of her.

"Now as I was saying," Obi-Wan explained, "after Anakin choked you, he turned his anger to me. He was determined to destroy me, and well...he ended up destroying himself."

Anakin raised his eyebrows at Obi-Wan, as if even in death, there was still an amount of friendly tension between them. "Master, I think your lightsaber and the lava had a large role in destroying me," he said lightly before turning to his wife. "Don't worry, we've made amends about those old times."

Obi-Wan sat down on the log, next to Padme's other side, sandwiching her between two figures of ghostly warmth. "Padme, I struck him as an act of defense. You must remember what he was at the time."

Padme found herself nodding. Her mind went back to the horror she had felt years ago, the fear that her friend was going to kill her beloved. Why was she so calm now after learning that Obi-Wan had indeed made an attempt to kill Anakin that was partly responsible for his needing a breather suit for the rest of his life? Perhaps it was because she now saw them both as healthy spirits who were friends again, or because she knew about all that Anakin had done in his later life, or because she had just seen Anakin grieving the lives he destroyed. Whatever it was, she felt at peace in the presence of her friend and her husband, like this was the only moment that was worth any concern - all else was long gone.

"Padme," Obi-Wan said after a few seconds, "do you know why you are not now with the Force?"

_Do you know why you are not dead?_ his question meant. _In other words, why you did not die twenty-three years ago after giving birth?_ This question brought only silence from Padme. She knew the carbon freeze had stopped her death, but the reason for the freezing was still unknown.

"Obi-Wan saved you, Padme," Anakin's voice said.

Padme looked back at her husband with confusion. "Obi-Wan?" she repeated.

"I allowed them to do it in great reluctance," said Obi-Wan. "You were fading fast and it was the only option to prevent your dying."

Padme turned back to Obi-Wan. "But why...why did you...leave me?"

Obi-Wan was silent, as if it wasn't his job to answer this question. Padme slowly turned her head to look at Anakin, who had his head bowed down, again looking like he was in grief.

"Padme, I..." he began, "...I...I heard that you had died at that hospital, and...I wanted...revenge." He again leaned his head against her chest. "Remember...what I did after I lost my mother...it was like that. I didn't realize that...by carrying out revenge I was sealing you up..." His head collapsed into her lap.

Padme silently stroked the warm air in her lap, unsure of how her emotions were reacting to this latest revelation. It wasn't anger or sadness...it was a dry, empty feeling. Perhaps her psyche was simply tired of hearing of the horrible things her husband had done for her - this was merely one more, even if this particular thing had caused the large hole in her life.

"I'm sorry, Padme...I'm so sorry...for everything," Anakin whispered in an agonized voice. "I know...those words are too weak to compensate for what I've done...but I don't have anything else. I can't...I can't reverse the past..."

"Have you...have you talked to anyone you...any of your victims?" Padme asked without meaning to.

"Padme, perhaps it's best that you don't ask that question," said Obi-Wan.

"Why not?"

"Because joining with the Force and still retaining your identity is something that not all have achieved," explained Obi-Wan. "Old Qui-Gon discovered how to do so some time ago, and he has shared that skill with other Force-sensitives who have passed on since then. Now we're working on bringing identities back from people who passed on before that time. It's a complex process, one that I won't explain because it will only confuse someone still living in the physical world, but we have had success for many."

"We recently even discovered how to bring back the identities of _non_-Force-sensitives," Anakin said with a bit of excitement, looking up at his wife. "We've only had one success so far, but I'm sure more are to soon follow."

"Who was it?" asked Padme, not completely understanding the subject, but intrigued by it.

"Your daughter's guardian," said Obi-Wan. "Senator Organa."

"Bail Organa..." Padme breathed. "Do you think maybe he could appear to Leia and help her to see Ani?"

"So many questions," said Obi-Wan. "How about you worry about what _you_ can do to help your children, and let us do what _we_ think is best?"

"You can tell Leia that he's doing fine," said Anakin, now back to sitting up.

Padme smiled at her husband before feeling her cheek engulfed in heat from Obi-Wan's touch. She turned to look back at him.

"Padme, listen," he said in a gentle but firm voice, "you are here for a reason. You are meant to know your children, care for them, teach them about their parents, yes, but there is another reason. Exactly what the reason is I can not tell, but the Force strongly needs you for something important. I sensed it twenty-three years ago that you still had a future."

"But you still don't know what that future is?" said Padme.

"Even now, we don't have the answers to everything," Obi-Wan said with a slightly-eerie smile. "But I have no doubt that you will soon find out your destiny."

"Padme?" Anakin's voice said.

Padme turned around yet again, feeling a bit like she was being pulled from two ends. "Yes Ani?"

Ani grasped her face in his hands. "Padme...can I do something that might make you a bit uncomfortable?"

"What?"

"It...it's something we've done many times...only now it might be a bit awkward...but I've been aching for it for twenty-three years..."

Padme smiled. "Go ahead, Ani."

Anakin's beautiful face leaned in closer to her...closer, closer, closer...until the lips of flesh and spirit met in a kiss. Physically, Padme felt her lips making the motions of a kiss into only warm air, but spiritually, she felt her Ani flowing through her, making her heart beat rapidly with the same excitement during their kisses long ago.

It was wonderful.


	19. Chapter 19

"My Mother"

By EsmeAmelia

Chapter 19

AN: Oh...wow...four...hundred...reviews. I never expected this story to be such a hit. Well, thank you everyone, as always! Hope you enjoy this chapter, because I can't promise that another one will come right away since school starts again tomorrow. But don't worry, I'll still be writing whenever I have time. :)

The next morning, Leia opened her eyes to find Padme's bed empty. This didn't particularly surprise her, seeing as how she learned a while ago that her mother was an early riser. Perhaps she had gone for a walk, or in search of a lake for her morning swim. Content in her assumption, Leia allowed her eyes to close again, letting Han's hypnotic breathing lull her back into unawareness...

But what if she was wrong?

That notion fought with her desire to go back to sleep, stirring in her brain like an itch, preventing her from fully relaxing. She tried to brush it off - after all, what sort of trouble would she be in here? Yet despite her best efforts to ignore it, the feeling that she should go looking for Padme persisted.

She groaned a bit as she opened her eyes again. Here on this comfortable mat, her head nestled in the soft pillow, her body enveloped by the warm blanket and her husband's muscular arms...it was just too pleasant to leave right now, but that nagging feeling eventually overpowered her wanting to stay in bed.

She slowly pushed Han's limp arm off of her, letting it land with a slight _thud_ sound, which caused her to briefly hold her breath, waiting for confirmation on whether or not her motion had woken him up. After a moment or two, a light snore told her that Han was still asleep, so she cautiously forced herself out of bed and to her feet.

As she quietly got dressed, she tried to reach out with the Force to where her mother was, hoping she might discover that her assumptions had been right after all, but instead receiving a sign that although Padme didn't seem to be in danger, she urgently needed Leia, the reason for which eluded her newly-trained Force senses. After one last look down at her husband, she carefully made her way to the doorway, letting the Force give her direction to her mother.

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"Mother?" Leia called out as she walked through the woods. "Mother?" No response came, but she felt that she was going the right way. She only hoped that the Force wasn't leading her to the place she never wanted to visit. Her heart thumped rapidly at the thought of where she was probably going. She had never been at ease with her father, but yesterday her discomfort with him had been expanded. Between the story and the wedding recording, her mind had been sent into turmoil. To see Darth Vader's face and hear of his sufferings...it had made him too strange, too unreal, too _human._

She stopped walking for a moment. The sense of her mother was growing incredibly strong now - she felt Padme's presence just behind the trees that stood before her. Did she dare go into the clearing curtained by those trees, the clearing that she was almost certain was the one that housed Vader's grave?

After a moment of hesitation, she pushed aside the branches and walked into the clearing, where the dead pyre entered her vision for the briefest of seconds before she quickly averted her eyes and turned her head towards a log across from it.

There was Padme, sound asleep on the log, her arm serving as her pillow, her slip being her only blanket. Leia shuddered briefly at the thought that she might have been here all night with no protection from the cold. She carefully eased herself onto the log next to her mother's head.

"Mother?" she said, trying to hide the desperate tone in her voice as she touched Padme's cheek, which felt unusually warm for someone who had just been outside all night without any means of insulation. "Mother, are you all right? Wake up!"

Padme's head turned upwards as she opened her eyes, a peaceful smile on her face. "Mmmmm, good morning, Leia," she said in a low, dreamy voice, as if she had just experienced a night of romantic pleasures.

"Mother, what are you doing here?" Leia said with perhaps a bit more harshness than she intended.

"I was spending time with Ani..." Padme said in that same dreamy voice.

Spending time with Ani. Poor Padme, she must have been devastated by the sight of her husband's grave yesterday. Leia thought that perhaps she had been pretending she was with her husband as a means of coping...but that didn't seem to fit Padme's sense of reality. Maybe she had been dreaming about her husband, but that didn't explain why she was here.

"Why did you come out here in the middle of the night?" she blurted.

"I don't really know," Padme said, still with that lovesick-sounding voice. "But I'm so glad I did...so very _very_ glad..."

"_Mother!"_ Leia snapped in her no-nonsense voice. "If you don't mind me being a little harsh, could you_ please_ snap out of this daydream and explain what's going on?"

"Of course," said Padme, appearing not at all offended by her daughter's tone. She sat up and looked Leia in the eye. "Don't worry about me, Leia, I haven't gone crazy."

"Are you sure?" said Leia, trying to hide the fact that she was now genuinely concerned about her mother and wondering if taking her to Endor had been the best thing for her.

"Yes," Padme said with complete calmness, the romantic air now gone from her voice, but the sparkle still in her eyes. She reached her arm around Leia's back and grasped her shoulder. "Leia, I'm fine."

"You still haven't told me what's happening," said Leia, feeling an odd serenity coming from her mother.

Padme gave a slightly-embarrassed-looking smile. "You most likely won't believe it."

"Try me," said Leia.

"All right," said Padme. She took a deep breath. "Leia...I saw Ani last night."

"His ashes?" Leia said in a wishful voice, knowing it probably wasn't what she meant. Luke had told her about his visitations from Obi-Wan - she knew it was possible to communicate with the dead.

"No," Padme said. "Leia, I know it sounds unbelievable, but I saw Ani himself."

Leia felt her stomach lurching at the thought. She struggled to conceal how her breath wanted to speed itself up.

"I wasn't dreaming, Leia," said Padme, as if Leia had expressed speculation. "No dream could have ever been so...clear."

"I...I believe you," Leia truthfully whispered. Even if she hadn't heard about Luke's visitations, she could sense that her mother's story was true, which was making her regret going to look for Padme more and more. The same feeling of horror that had lingered inside her when her planet was destroyed was creeping inside her once again, as if Vader had been resurrected and intended to complete his ambitions.

She felt Padme's grip on her shoulder tighten. "Leia, your father wishes he could reverse what he's done," she said gently. After a brief pause, she asked, "Would you like me to tell you about it?"

Leia's head wanted to nod and shake at the same time, which caused the conflicting desires to cancel each other out, holding her head still. Vader still existed, was still conscious, still capable of knowing - it was both a frightening notion and an intriguing one.

Padme seemed to take her lack of a response as a yes, for she began telling her daughter about her experience the night before with a flowing voice, not pausing for any words from Leia, as though she suspected that if her daughter were allowed to speak she would demand that she stop.

Leia heard - she heard of her mother's nightmare, the journey to the grave, the visitations by the ghosts of Anakin and Obi-Wan - she heard it all, but she heard it as if she were hearing a fictional story - the words refused to resonate in her soul.

"...and Obi-Wan told me that they've even had one success in bringing back the identity of a non-Force-sensitive," Padme told with excitement as she squeezed her daughter's hand. "Leia...that success was Bail Organa," she said with a wide grin, finally pausing for a reaction.

Leia breathed heavily. "Father..." she whispered, the word that was permanently associated with Bail Organa, never with Anakin Skywalker. She now expected her mother to correct her - to remind her that she could not escape the truth about who conceived her. It happened whenever Leia insisted that Bail was her father...but today, nothing was happening.

Padme stroked her daughter's cheek. "Yes Leia," she said. "Anakin told me he's doing fine." She pushed Leia's face to look into her eyes. "Your birth father helped to bring back the one your heart calls your father."

Vader. The man responsible for sending her father into the Force netherworld had helped to rescue him from an eternity there. She saw Bail's smiling face in her head, the face that now knew himself and remembered his life again, partly because of Anakin Skywalker. It almost, _almost_ made her thank her birth father, before her soul's scars reminded her that if it weren't for him, Bail would still be physically alive. More images entered her head: images of thousands of faces, each with a life now missing, each trapped in the knowledgeless existence of the Force. How long would it take to bring back all of them? And what would happen to those who were failed attempts? Leia swallowed an uneven breath.

Padme continued to run her fingers down Leia's cheek. "Leia," she said, "do you ever have nightmares about Alderaan?"

Leia rapidly turned her head away from her mother, pushing her hand off her cheek. "What makes you think that?"

"You moan in your sleep sometimes," Padme said gently. "Occasionally you toss and turn. As someone who married a man who suffered from nightmares, I think I know how to identify when someone has them."

"That doesn't necessarily mean nightmares," Leia said in a hollow voice, attempting to block the fragmentary memories coming into her mind - sounds of people screaming in horror, images of people going about their daily business and then writhing in death without any warning, children at play before suddenly burning up.

Padme stroked her daughter's back with light touches, her fingers barely making contact. "It's perfectly all right, Leia. Nightmares are natural, especially when someone has suffered such a devastation as you have." She stopped her stroking, as if taken aback by her own words. "Yours is a devastation many people can't even begin to comprehend...probably myself included."

Leia found her head slowly turning back to face her mother. "What do you mean?"

Padme sighed softly. "I guess I've tried to block it out before last night because I couldn't even imagine what you've been through - I didn't know how to begin to help you." She put her hand back on her daughter's cheek. "You've probably suffered more than the other two put together. Luke lost his hand, but he got a replacement. Han lost six months of his life to carbonite, but then he was rescued. But you...you've lost your family, your friends, your home, nearly everything you grew up with, and there's no chance of replacing any of it."

Leia clasped her hands together to prevent them from shaking. She stared at her mother with wide, unmoving eyes.

"Ani understands, Leia," Padme continued.

"How can he understand?" Leia said after a swallow. "He's the one who caused it all."

"That's why he understands," said Padme. "He now sees the magnitude of what he's done, and it haunts him even in death. He knows, Leia, he knows about your suffering."

Leia was silent. Her mind felt empty, unconscious of exactly what it was thinking, like she was sinking in the water and relying solely on instinct to get to the surface.

Padme pushed her fingers between Leia's clasped hands. "Leia, Ani is the reason why the Force-sensitive ghosts even attempted to bring back non-Force-sensitives."

"What?"

"You still have a persistent father, Leia," Padme said with a smile. "The other ghosts thought it was impossible, but Anakin insisted that they try - I guess he didn't want to lose me again." She wrapped her fingers around her daughter's stiff fingers. "Think about Han, Leia. When he dies, he won't have to float through the Force without an identity - because of your father."

An image came into Leia's head - an image of an event in the distant future. She was standing over a bed in which her elderly husband lay, his eyes closed in death. Then she turned - and Han was there, young again, healthy again, smiling at her from the afterlife. Bail stood next to him, along with Padme, and many more of her non-Force-sensitive friends, happy after death...because of Vader.

Leia blinked rapidly. Was that her imagination or an actual premonition? She could not tell, and yet whatever the truth was, her heart thumped repeatedly at the thought. She thought about the young man in the wedding hologram, the happy face gazing at his bride full of love. Love...the emotion she had long thought her father was incapable of feeling.

Then suddenly she felt something. A mysterious concentration of warmth pressed against her cheek without any physical substance. She turned her head, but saw nothing from which the warmth could be coming.

"Ani's touching you, Leia," said Padme.

Leia turned back to face her mother in bewilderment. "What?"

"Ani's here. He's rubbing his daughter's cheek."

Leia looked back again. "There's no one there, Mother," she said in a shaky voice.

"You can't see him because your wounds are not completely healed yet," said Padme. "But you can feel him, can't you?"

The warmth on Leia's cheek seemed to be moving down her skin as she turned back to face her mother, who was smiling widely, communicating a burst of happiness. Yes...this odd sensation did feel similar to someone touching her...someone who cared about her.

"Yes," she whispered. "I...I feel him."

Padme put her hand on her daughter's other cheek. "Your soul is healing, Leia."

Leia closed her eyes, absorbing the feeling of both her parents touching her face.


	20. Chapter 20

"My Mother"

By EsmeAmelia

Chapter 20

AN: I wish I didn't have to keep apologizing for a lack of updates. Between my school and my job I'm pretty much booked 24/7. Anyhoo, thanks as always for all the wonderful reviews I've recieved.

Cub, cub, wake up!

Han fought his copilot's voice in a losing battle to stay asleep. He grunted and rolled over, keeping his eyes firmly shut.

"Master Luke! Master Luke!" 3PO's voice shouted. "You must get up at once!"

"Mmmm...what is it, 3PO?" Luke's voice mumbled groggily.

"Oh it's most dreadful!" 3PO wailed. "I should never have shut myself down for the night!"

Cub, come on, Chewie persisted, now grabbing Han's shoulder with a tight Wookiee grip.

Han moaned drowsily. "Ugh...not now Chewie...just a few more minutes..."

"Master Luke, you may disassemble me if you wish," 3PO's loud voice continued. "After all, this is all my fault."

"Yeah...disassemble him..." Han mumbled, still trying to avoid waking up completely. "...Then maybe I could get some decent sleep..."

Luke made a noise that sounded like a yawn. "...I'm almost inclined to agree with you, Han..."

Then as if things weren't irritating enough, Han heard R2 give a loud beeping wisecrack.

"Wait a second, what am I saying?" said 3PO. "Of course it's not completely my fault! After all, this haughty little glob of grease _also_ shut himself down for the night! Perhaps you should disassemble _him!_"

R2 made a mechanical raspberry sound.

"Don't give me that, R2," lectured 3PO. "You should accept your punishment after you behaved so irresponsibly. It's because of you that Mistress Leia and Miss Padme have disappeared!"

That statement was enough to make Han give up fighting for sleep, at least for a moment. "What...they're _missing?_" He shot his eyes open to find two empty beds between himself and Luke, the blankets strewn around.

Luke appeared to still be partly-asleep: his left eye was shut completely and his right eye looked like a slit. "They're probably fine 3PO..." he muttered between sleepy breaths.

"Oh Master Luke, if only I could have your optimism," cried 3PO. "I do indeed wish I could provide an explanation for them to abandon us and for Miss Padme to leave her clothes here."

R2 beeped a suggestion.

"What is that supposed to mean, R2?" said 3PO. "Of course Miss Padme wouldn't just decide to go outside in the nude. Humans always feel the need to clothe themselves - it's one of those peculiar habits they have."

R2 beeped again.

"Nor would she choose to go outside in her undergarmets, R2," 3PO insisted. "Why is it that you can never grasp the concept of human behavior?"

Luke grunted as his left eye slightly opened. "3PO, if they were in any danger, I'm sure I would sense it."

Han yawned. "Well kid, why don't you go feel them out with your Jedi senses or whatever it is you do so Goldenrod'll shut up?" He rolled onto his back and closed his eyes.

No sooner had he shut his eyes than he felt a rough swat across his cheek. No, cub! Chewie scolded. What's wrong with you? Why aren't you worried about them?

"Early morning sleepiness, perhaps?" said Han. "Besides, you heard Luke, he doesn't feel them in danger." He tried to convince himself that he believed his last sentence and that Leia and Padme were indeed all right, but despite his sleepy condition, his stomach insisted on tingling with concern.

He rolled back to his side and opened his eyes to see that Luke was now sitting up, revealing several strands of hair stuck up on end. "All right, I'll see if I can feel where they are, but like I said, I'm certain they're fine."

"Good, wake me when you find them," said Han, closing his eyes again, acting on his determination to not let himself panic over this.

But once again, something interfered with his intentions, this time something even more unpleasant than a Wookiee slap. A foot dug into his waist, pushing a grunt out of his mouth as another foot came down on him, forcing his eyes to open yet again and see that an Ewok had run over him, who was now chittering excitedly to 3PO.

"Well I say," 3PO exclaimed after the Ewok finished chittering. "Master Luke, you may go back to sleep now: he says they are back."

Luke rolled his eyes. "Thanks, 3PO."

"Hey everyone, did you miss us?" Padme's voice called.

Han used his elbow to sit himself up, finally completely giving up on sleep. Once he saw Padme in her rather-revealing slip, he slightly averted his eyes, not wishing to anger Leia with any hint that he was looking where she wouldn't want him to.

Leia stepped out from behind Padme, dressed, but looking slightly disturbed. "Good morning everyone," she said in a stiff voice, the sort of voice that reminded him of the night her parentage had been revealed.

"Hey honey," said Han. "Wanna enlighten us on what's goin' on?"

Nearly before he had finished talking, Leia sank to her knees next to him and gathered him in her arms, pressing his head against her chest, as if she thought something terrible would happen to him if she didn't.

"Han..." she whispered.

"Leia?" Han said in confusion. "What..." His voice strayed away as his wife stroked his head. His eyelids began to droop...mmmm...this felt nice...but why was she doing it? After all, she didn't usually do things so intimate in front of other people.

"You'll be all right, Han..." Leia whispered in a voice so soft that Han wondered if he had heard her correctly, as if it had slipped out of her mouth without her intentions.

Should he express his confusion to her, or should he stay in the warmth of her snuggle for a little while longer? Whatever it was that she had meant by telling him that, in this embrace, he strangely felt like she was right. He heard her heart beating rather rapidly, as if she had just been under physical or emotional stress.

The sound of Luke gasping loudly abruptly broke Han's trance. He reluctantly opened his eyes to an image of Padme pulling a dress over her head as she kneeled next to Luke, who was grinning so widely at her that it looked like his lips might snap from overstretching.

"Mother," he said in awe, "that's...that's wonderful."

"What's wonderful?" said Han, his head still pressed against his wife's chest.

Luke thrust his head in Han's direction, his face now wearing that same expression that had been pasted on it the day after Leia discovered Padme - the expression that very clearly said, "Uh-oh, Han wants to know something that I don't want to tell him because it will be awkward, so I'll drive him crazy by telling him nothing."

_Greaaaaat,_ thought Han.

Padme also wore that expression, though it was perhaps less intense than Luke's. "Leia, do you want to be the one to tell him?"

"If I do, I'll never hear the end of it," said Leia.

Han pushed himself out of Leia's arms. "All right, I see where this is headin', and I ain't goin' through it again," he declared. "Whatever it is, tell me now. I won't think you're crazy or you're lyin' or whatever. Or if I do, I'll keep it to myself. Mostly. Kay?"

He thought his speech would most likely only get the others to roll their eyes at him, which was in fact the case with Luke and Leia, but Padme gave her son-in-law a warm smile.

"All right, Han," she said. "Let's go for a walk and I'll tell you."

"A _walk?_" Han exclaimed.

"Yes," Padme said firmly. "As in, using our legs to move outside. Yes, before breakfast. I have a lot to tell you and I think everyone will prefer a private conversation for it."

"Lemme at least get my shirt and shoes on first," Han said, not exactly hiding his annoyance.

------------------

As he and Padme left the Ewok dwelling, Han walked as slowly as he could manage without looking like he was trying to walk slowly. He figured that his mother-in-law was about to begin another one of her attempts to get him to forgive Vader, something that caused his stomachache to return, the same ache he'd felt when he overheard Padme's grieving and when she had told the story of his father-in-law's youth. The thoughts of the story caused his steps to slow down even more. Last night he would have very much liked his attention span to slip away into the realm of daydreaming, but something had forced him to listen to her and begin to understand what she had meant when she said he reminded her of her husband. He had seen far more of himself in Padme's story than he would have ever wanted - his boldness, his attitude, his love of adventure - all were present in his father-in-law. Again he felt the stings of the torture and the pain of the carbon freezer, inflicted by someone who once resembled him.

"Are you all right?" Padme's voice said, suddenly jolting him back to reality and causing him to realize that in his musings he'd stopped walking altogether and was now clutching his stomach.

"Yeah...I think," Han said in slight embarrassment. "Ya know, I'm hungry, maybe we should do this later..."

Padme gave her son-in-law a gentle pinch on the shoulder. "No," she said in that firm tone that reeked of Senate formality - the one Leia often used when she was trying to get Han to do what she told him.

Once she let go of Han, Padme made her way over to the rail of the Ewok bridge and leaned on it, gazing out at the forest view. "I love views from great heights," she breathed. "It was over a view of one of Naboo's lakes where Ani and I shared our first kiss."

Han joined her at the rail. "Sounds a bit too dreamy for my taste," he said. "Leia and me - we had our first kiss on the Falcon. Might've been more than that if stupid Goldenrod hadn't shown up."

Padme snickered. "Well Leia's current condition means you obviously did more than that later." After clearing her throat, she turned to face her son-in-law. "Han...I know you must have been uncomfortable last night."

"Uncomfortable?" Han said with a humorless chuckle. "Congratulations, you've just won the 'Most Ridiculous Understatement' award."

Padme brushed off his insult. "Han, I understand how you feel more than you may think."

"Yeah," said Han, more bitterly than he was meaning. "You had your dear 'Ani' choke you almost to death, which meant you conveniently got to hibernate through everything he did afterward." A pang of guilt immediately attacked him when he saw Padme's face flinch.

"I'm sorry," he added after a few moments.

"No you're not," Padme said in a low voice. "You're just sorry you said it out loud when I was within hearing range."

Han opened his mouth to deny what she had just declared, but only silence came out.

Padme's brown eyes glared into his, causing him to note how similar they were to Leia's. "Han, didn't you hear anything last night?"

Han sighed and glanced over the rail. "Yeah...too much."

Padme reached over and lightly brushed Han's face with her fingers. "I see my husband in you, Han. The same free spirit, the same tender soul..." She gave a small grin. "...and, if I may, the same _stubbornness._"

Han's stomach felt like it wanted to purge. His mind searched for an appropriate retort, but to his surprise, nothing came. All he could find was admittance that she was right...that her story had indeed reminded him of himself...and the more he thought about it, the more he wondered what he would have done in his father-in-law's situations.

"You're not surprised, are you?" Padme said in a voice that sounded like she was teasing him. "Because you overheard me telling Leia that one night?"

"She told you?" said Han.

"Yes," said Padme, her cheeky grin growing wider. "She also said she sensed something about you planning to demand your side of the bed back that night."

Han gritted his teeth. "You're never gonna let me live that one up, are you?"

"Why do you think I kept it for so long?" Padme said with a chuckle.

Strangely enough, Han started to chuckle a little with her, maybe because he'd been feeling the need for a little humor. "Okay," he said after a few seconds of laughter, "one of these days you're gonna fall off that sofa during the night and _then_ we'll see who's demandin' the bed back."

"And then we'll see who's back on the sofa," said Padme. "One ex-smuggler versus two senators, one of whom is Force-sensitive."

"Hey, what makes you think Leia would side with you?" exclaimed Han.

"Well for one thing, you snore."

"She_ likes_ it. Besides, we might not be sleepin' anyway. If you got us when we were _busy_..."

Padme pressed two of her fingers onto his lips. "All right, that's enough. I didn't bring you out here to discuss sleeping arrangements." The humor immediately vanished from her face as she looked back over the view.

Han's stomachache, which had briefly faded away during their lighthearted discussion, was now back with full vigor, as if it were mixing up the meal from the night before in preparation for the trip back up the esophagus.

"Han, I doubt you know what I mean when I say I understand how you feel," said Padme, her eyes gazing into the distance. She clasped her hands together as she rested them on the rail. "You probably haven't realized that we both experienced the same thing in a sense. Frozen by Darth Vader."

With those words, the former smuggler's stomach calmed a bit, now feeling merely like there was a river inside rather than an ocean. No, he hadn't thought of it that way, but she was right - if Vader hadn't choked her she would never have been frozen. The same hand was ultimately responsible for both of their freezings.

"Wait...you're callin' him Vader now?" he blurted.

Padme's clasped hands slipped in front of the rail. "The names of Anakin Skywalker and Darth Vader are markers of the two different people who inhabited his body. Anakin is the man I was married to, while Vader..." She breathed deeply. "...Vader is the one who buried me alive."

"What?"

Padme looked at her son-in-law with a raised eyebrow. "Surely you must have thought it rather strange that a hospital would freeze a body and then forget about it." Her voice abruptly became harsher, expressing a truth she loathed. "Well the ones at the hospital didn't forget about me - because they were _destroyed!_"

The edges of Han's eyes grew dry from widening. "By Vader?"

Padme nodded as tiny pants escaped her lips. "He...he heard I was dead...which gave the dark side complete control over him, driving him to unknowingly trap his wife in what could have been an endless hibernation."

The areas around Han's ears tingled, as if her words had placed physical weight on them. "Wait...wait a sec, how do you know this?"

Padme breathed lightly as her mouth bent upward into an awkward smile, indicating that this was the thing she had been reluctant to tell him.

"Han..." she said at last, "...do you...believe in ghosts?"

The ocean returned to Han's stomach, spreading itself through his body. No...no...he did _not_ believe in ghosts...yeah, Luke claimed to have been visited by Obi-Wan's ghost...but Luke had that Force thingy, which Padme didn't...no, she couldn't have seen _him_...could she? That was hokey. Hokey...hokey... but that word seemed to drown in his body's urge to shake.

"I dunno," he muttered, taking an interest in looking at his feet.

He felt Padme's finger on his chin. "Before last night, that would have been my answer too."

"You sure you weren't dreamin'?" Han said quickly, unsure if he could handle her answer.

His neck jerked as Padme pushed his chin up, forcing him to look her in the eyes. "Yes," she said, displaying complete confidence with her voice and face. "If you don't believe me, ask Leia about it. She'll tell you that she felt the truth when I told her that I saw my husband."

Han tightly gripped the rail for support as his feet began to slide off-balance from the nerves erupting within them. No, Darth Vader was dead...dead..._DEAD!_ Padme was dreaming, and Leia...Leia merely told her that she felt it was true so as not to break her heart any more. He didn't believe this ridiculous idea, right? But if that was so...why was his body refusing to move?

"Han?" Padme said. "Han? Han, for the Force's sake, breathe!" She gently slapped her son-in-law on the back. "Breathe!"

Han breathed - or rather, gasped. Air rushed in and out of his mouth in rapid succession as his knuckles whitened from holding the wooden rail so tightly. After a moment he became vaguely aware of Padme's hands massaging his back.

"It's all right," she said softly. "Anakin was who I saw, not Vader. Vader is dead."

"They're both dead..." Han muttered.

Padme continued her massaging. "Physically, you're right, but Anakin's soul lives on, while Vader never had a soul."

Han sighed. "Sorry, but I ain't too much into that mystical stuff."

"I figured that," said Padme. "It took you a while to even believe in the Force, if I'm correct."

Han was silent as he continued grasping the rail, trying in vain to convince himself that he didn't believe her story. What was it - the confidence with which she gave her news, his own hatred of Vader, or simply that his wife and brother-in-law were Force-sensitive, which had made him more open about such things?

"You don't want to believe me, do you?" said Padme. "Because you still fear the soulless being who inhabited my husband's body and mind."

"I told you, I ain't into that mystical stuff."

"But you still believe me," Padme insisted.

Han focused his eyes on a far-away tree, his hands beginning to hurt from the hard, splintering wood, but unwilling to let go because his feet still felt unsure if they could hold him up.

"You're trying not to, but you can't help yourself, right?" Padme urged.

Han finally looked at her. "You sure you ain't Force-sensitive?"

"I'm as Force-sensitive as you are, Han - not at all," she replied with a light sigh. "And if you ask me, I think you and I should consider ourselves lucky."

"You think we're lucky 'cause we can't read minds or lift things without touchin' them and all that other crazy stuff?" said Han.

Padme gave a slight giggle. "Well, I sometimes envied Ani a bit, like how I'm sure you sometimes envy Leia and Luke, but that didn't make me want to be Force-sensitive." She removed her hands from his back and looked him in the eyes. "Those abilities come at a great price. You and I - we're allowed to feel anger and fear and other emotions that make one vulnerable, but for the Force-sensitives, those emotions carry a risk of a terrible fate."

"Because those emotions lead to the dark side," said Han, repeating the phrase oft-used by his brother-in-law.

"I don't think you grasp the complete meaning of that," said Padme.

"Well then, would you _kindly_ enlighten your dim-witted son-in-law?" Han cracked.

Padme sighed with an air of frustration. "Okay...you flew the Kessel Run - imagine that the dark side of the Force is a black hole, sucking in everything that comes within its gravity field. Now imagine that every act of anger, fear, or hatred pushes a Force-sensitive closer to that black hole's field. Then once the Force-sensitive enters the field, he or she gets sucked further and further into the black hole until all he or she knows is the dark side. That was the fate that befell your father-in-law."

Han responded with silence, scratching the rail with his fingernails.

Padme placed her hand on his shoulder. "You and I don't have to live our lives in fear of that black hole taking us, but the Force-sensitives must always be aware of its existence, how it's always searching for new victims."

Han's blood turned cold. Leia...Luke...his unborn babies...they all had that "black hole" looming over them as well. Yes, he had known that for a while...but had he _known_ it? When he knew the dark side as only this intangible, unreachable..._thing_, it had seemed far beyond his grasp to understand, but now that Padme had associated it with something he knew...a strange fear was creeping into him. Like all pilots, he had heard the horror stories of ships disappearing forever into black holes with only fragmentary distress calls in their wake...

A sharp pain in his finger brought a welcome interruption. "Ow!" he exclaimed as his finger jumped off the rail.

"What?" said Padme.

"Splinter," said Han, glancing at the tiny brown sliver sticking out of his finger.

Padme grabbed his wrist. "Here, let me take a look at it."

"Don't bother - I got a first-aid kit on the Falcon...somewhere."

"So you're going to walk all the way to the Falcon and rummage through Force-knows-what just for a splinter?" Padme said as she turned his hand over and pressed on his palm.

"Well, you got any better ideas?"

"Yes," said Padme as she grasped his finger. "I did this once when Ani got a splinter, and this one looks big enough for me to remove." She licked the fingers on her other hand.

"You're gonna remove it with your _fingernails?_" Han exclaimed.

"I told you - I've done this once before," Padme declared, not slowing down with her preparations. "Hold still."

"Now look, I ain't no medic, but I think I can safely say that removin' a splinter with your fingernails, even long ones like you got, is a violation of some health code somewhere...ah!" He jumped again when Padme pulled the splinter out in one smooth move.

She examined his finger for a final time. "Looks like I got it all out." She looked up at Han and grinned. "You know, that's similar to the way Ani acted when I pulled out his splinter."

"So you're sayin' he couldn't have taken it out with the Force?"

"Maybe he could have, but he wanted his wife to do it so he could whine at her. Men are funny that way." She winked.

Han rolled his eyes as he sucked on his still-throbbing finger.

Padme smiled wider. "You know, I've always wanted to do that."

"What, pretend you're a pair of tweezers?" said Han.

"No," said Padme. "help one of my children when they're hurt."

Han stared at her, his heart thumping. "Uh...I hate to break it to ya, but I'm not exactly one of your children."

"By birth, no, but you're married to my daughter, which makes you close enough to being my son for me to call you that."

Han shook his hand that had the sore finger, his breath coming in and out in little heaves.

"You feel strange thinking of me as your mother?" Padme inquired.

"Bit awkward," Han admitted, " 'specially since you look like you would've had me when you were minus-three years old."

Padme giggled slightly. "Well, I am technically fifty, and I'm starting to feel more and more like my age." Her face then morphed into seriousness. "Also, Han..." She touched his face. "...I'd like to give you what you never had."

Han's stomach churned again, not from fear or awkwardness...but from an odd, otherworldly sensation. Was she serious? She actually wanted _him_ for a son? _Him_...so long an outcast...so long thinking that Wookiees would be the only creatures who had the patience to nurture him? This upper-class, prestigious ex-senator wanted to be his...mother?

He didn't realize he was shedding tears until he felt his mother-in-law wiping his cheek.

"Han," she said gently after a few moments, "why don't we see if the Ewoks have any leftovers of that vegetarian feast for breakfast?"

Han wiped his eyes and breathed deeply as a grin slowly crept across his face. "Sure," he said. After another breath, his grin spread fully as he added, "Mom."

Padme smiled.

AN: In case anyone was wondering what the Kessel Run has to do with black holes, according to some of the EU books, the Kessel Run includes a laybyrinth of black holes. And speaking of the EU, a few people have inquired about how this fits with the EU. Well, I'm one of those SW authors who plays around with the EU, and this is an AU fic anyway. For the record, yes, Leia's 23 and she's pregnant - I moved her pregnancy closer to the end of ROTJ, and apart from her being pregnant with the twins, I'm not incorporating too much of the EU into this story. If you want a time period for this story, it's probably between six months and one year after the end of ROTJ.

Chapter 21 should be around sooner than this one - I've actually begun writing it because I initially intended for Chapter 20 to be after Endor, but then it didn't feel right without some sort of closure - I got to asking questions like "Well, did Padme and Leia tell the others about Padme's encounter?" and stuff like that, and it got difficult to fit into the chapter that I was writing, so I eventually realized I needed one more Endor scene, namly a Padme/Han moment that came almost out of nowhere.

Okay, I'll shut up now.


	21. Chapter 21

"My Mother"

By EsmeAmelia

Chapter 21

AN: Woo, over 480 reviews! Think we can make 500? ;) Anyway, let me apologize in advance that this chapter is both shorter than and not as meaty as some of the others - it's mainly a transitional chapter, but hopefully you'll enjoy it anyway.

_Five months later._

Padme sat on the Solos' sofa, gazing over at Leia, who was in the midst of Jedi training with Luke. She held a florescent orange lightsaber in her hands and wore a helmet with a blast shield covering her eyes, meaning she had to rely on the Force to tell her where the two remotes that hovered near her would strike. Her plump stomach from six months of pregnancy gave an image that might be called comical by some, but to Padme it added beauty to her daughter, showing how grace and pregnancy indeed could be mixed.

"Two remotes, can you believe it?" said Han, who was lounging next to Padme. "I remember when Luke had trouble with one."

"I wish I did," Padme said softly.

One of the remotes fired out at Leia, but she easily blocked it with her blade. Barely a second later, the other remote fired at her from behind, but Leia quickly whirled around and stopped the blast from reaching her.

"She's good," said Padme.

"Yup," said Han. "Till she misses, then Luke'll give her hell."

"I don't 'give her hell,' Han," Luke said from the other side of the room. "I encourage her to reach her full Jedi potential, just as Obi-Wan and Yoda did with me."

"Whatever you say, kid," said Han. "Guess encouragin' someone to reach their full potential sometimes involves a loud voice with you Jedi."

Padme smirked, concealing the uneasiness within her: an uneasiness that could not be placed on any specific event or feeling, except possibly the fact that her survival had been largely kept a secret for five months now.

"Glad this is no longer your bed?" said Han.

Padme gave a halfhearted grin. "Yeah, now I understand your large resentment of the sofa."

"It ain't the sofa in itself I mind - it's spendin' the night on it," clarified Han. He leaned back and rested his head on his arm. "In the afternoon, it's pretty pleasant."

Padme reached over to the back of the sofa and ruffled Han's hair. "So how long before you and Leia throw me out of your guest room?"

"Hey, you happen to have the honor of being the first person to patronize the new guest room of the Solos' new apartment - I'd suggest takin' advantage of it," said Han, acting as if they had moved into their new, larger apartment only yesterday instead of two months ago. He turned to face his mother-in-law and lowered his voice. "Besides, once you leave, that means the guest room is open for high-and-mighty visitors whom the senate might assign to stay with us." He scrunched his face in disgust.

"Oh, so you want me here only so I can protect you from having to host others?" Padme said jokingly. "Well what if the senate wants the high-and-mighty visitors to stay in the _third_ bedroom?"

"They can't touch it - that's the babies' room."

"I can just see you delivering that argument," said Padme. "I'd love to see the look on their faces when you tell them that the room is reserved for two babies that aren't coming for three months."

"Not nearly as comical as the looks on their faces when they see that their room's got two cradles and two changing tables," said Han.

A loud zapping sound caused both heads to jump slightly and turn back to Leia, who was holding her now-deactivated lightsaber with one hand and rubbing her knee with the other: apparently she had failed to block one of the remotes.

"Should we stop talking?" Padme asked to Luke.

Luke shook his head. "No, a Jedi must be able to work with distractions. Talk as loudly as you want."

Han shot a cheeky grin at Padme before turning back to Leia. "ALL RIGHT!" he shouted. "WE'LL MAKE SURE LEIA HAS PLENTY OF DISTRACTION SO SHE CAN REACH HER FULL JEDI POTENTIAL!"

Leia reactivated her lightsaber and glared at Han through the blast shield. "Han, you must have a death wish if you dare to annoy a pregnant woman with a lightsaber."

"Aw, what are you gonna tell the kids when they ask what happened to their daddy?" Han mocked.

"That their daddy got on their mommy's bad side. They'll understand."

"All right," Luke said firmly. "Leia, continue."

As Leia resumed her work with the remotes, Han turned back to Padme. "Okay," he said, "we're either gonna have two girls, two boys, or one of each. Lemme run this by you, Mom. If we have one of each, whaddaya think of namin' the boy Han Jr. and the girl Hanna?"

"Absolutely NOT," declared Leia as she blocked a remote blast.

Padme glanced in her daughter's direction. "Well, looks like you won't need my opinion on that one."

"But admit it, ya like that idea," Han said with a grin.

"Well, it's...interesting," said Padme, concentrating not on Leia's training or Han's name suggestions, but on the five months that had passed since her unfreezing, the five months where almost all of her time was spent in her daughter's apartment. Five months? How could it have possibly been that long? She had been meaning to do something with her life during that time..._meaning_ to...after all, she couldn't be dependent on her daughter forever...but their lives had gotten into a rhythm now. She had become quite close to her children in the time since her rescue, as if they all had a subconscious desire to come as close as possible to making up for the years lost.

Yet despite this, restlessness was starting to overtake her. She had lived her entire life as a hard-working servant to the galaxy - that work had given her a sense of purpose with her time. But...her life had a new purpose now...with her family...wasn't that enough?

It should be...and besides, did she really _want_ to go back into politics? Did she want to step back into that world of harsh competition and bureaucracy that could easily corrupt even the most innocent souls? There was also the issue that if she were to make her face public again, she would have to fend off the press, who would be endlessly interested in how she had "returned from the dead."

Leia deactivated her lightsaber for the second time. "All right, that's enough. The little ones are hungry."

Han got up from the sofa and wrapped his arms around his wife's stomach - with a bit of difficulty, since her stomach was now considerably larger than he was used to. "Think the little ones'd like me to fix us up some lunch?"

Leia kissed her husband's cheek as an answer to his question.

"Sounds good to me, too," said Luke.

Padme watched passively as Han let go of his wife and left for the kitchen, Leia put away her lightsaber, and Luke walked up to the sofa.

"Mother?" he said. "Aren't you coming to lunch?"

"Oh...sure...I'll be right there," Padme said dully.

"Mother?" Leia said from across the room. "Is something wrong?"

"No, I'm fine," Padme said, knowing her tone wasn't very convincing.

Luke sat down next to her. "Mother, you know it's very difficult to hide your feelings from two Force-sensitives."

Padme sighed, clasping her hands in her lap, as if she were about to share a difficult secret with her children. "It's nothing, really. I've just...been thinking."

"About what?" asked Leia, heading towards her mother.

Padme gave a slow breath. "About the old times."

"About Father?" said Luke.

A tiny smile appeared on Padme's face as she breathed again. "Actually, no. True, I haven't seen him since Endor, but he's busy right now. We'll meet again when the time is right." It frequently amazed her how she could now talk about her husband in such a calm manner since her encounter. Now her mind felt a strange sort of peace with him, as if he were merely away on a journey instead of dead.

"I was thinking...about my old life," she continued. "Maybe I'm just used to being busy...but Leia, I don't want to keep leaning on you forever." She licked her lips. "Don't get me wrong, I love living here, but...I dunno...a part of me is hungry."

"Hungry for purpose," Leia said knowingly.

Padme flinched, as if Leia's suggestion had implied that her life had no purpose now. "It's not that I think..."

"I know," Leia interrupted. "Believe me Mother, I understand. When your life revolves around galaxy affairs and politics, it's hard to let them go. Your concerns involve not only your own life, but the lives of millions of others."

Padme leapt up from her seat. "Exactly," she said in a voice louder than she was meaning. Suddenly, the restlessness that had been bubbling within her for months came exploding out like a volcano. "Leia, my life used to have the potential to help many - I want that potential back. The world of politics can use as many people who genuinely care about the galaxy's welfare as it can get. I mean, I know I have you now, but many others have learned to balance family with other things - I can learn that too." She looked Leia in the eye. "Who's your representative for Naboo? Maybe I could help her out."

She didn't know why she had brought up her home planet, but once the word had emitted from her mouth, she understood these urges better. The images of the beautiful domed buildings and sparkling lakes filled her brain, causing her to realize that she had been housing subconscious concerns for her beloved homeland almost since her unfreezing. Was this why she had never asked her children about Naboo's current status before? Was this why she had suddenly gained the courage now, when she suddenly gained a desire to make a difference to her planet as she once did?

Leia and Luke were silent, giving each other uneasy looks, as if her suggestion had triggered a secret they loathed to reveal.

"What?" Padme persisted.

"Hey are you guys comin', or am I fixin' lunch for one?" Han's voice called from the kitchen.

"We'll be right there," Luke called, not taking his wide eyes off of his mother.

Leia put her hands on her mother's shoulders. "Mother..." she said in a hesitant voice, "...there's...there's one more thing you still don't know."

Padme's heart jumped. "What?" she said in an urgent voice. "What is it?"

Leia took a deep breath.

"Naboo is not part of the New Republic."


	22. Chapter 22

"My Mother"

By EsmeAmelia

AN: OMG, FIVE HUNDRED REVIEWS! Wow...man...when I first started this story I thought no one would like it...but now...wow. Thanks to all who made this possible. :D

Chapter 22

"How can my home still be faithful to the Empire?" Padme said in a frustrated voice as she paced in front of the window.

Leia and Luke were on the sofa, silently following their mother with their wide eyes.

"HOW can my home still be faithful to the Empire?" she repeated, the heals of her shoes digging into the carpet with every step.

"Mother, you said that already," said Luke.

"_How can my home still be faithful to the Empire?"_ Padme said for the third time, now close to exasperation.

Leia slowly pushed her rotund self to her feet. "You know that there's a logical explanation for that," she said carefully.

Padme ceased her pacing to stare at her daughter. _Logic_ - she hated that word. Of course it was _logical_ that Palpatine's home planet would remain faithful to him. If any planet were to continue its loyalty to the Empire after Palpatine was dead, the _logical_ planet would be the one he came from.

"To _hell_ with logic!" she shouted, throwing up her hands.

Leia and Luke both jumped back at her sudden fierceness, and probably also by the fact that they had never heard her swear before. She understood that - she very rarely heard herself swear. Had her mind not been occupied by Naboo, she probably would have jumped herself.

After a long breath, she put her hands on Leia's shoulders. "Leia," she said in a somewhat gentler voice, "you don't know my home."

Leia was silent, glancing at the floor as her mother's hands slipped off of her. Padme didn't need to be Force-sensitive to read the guilt coming from her daughter.

"Have you even _tried_ to get them to join?" she said in a harsh voice.

Leia's lips formed a slit between them as she took little breaths in and out. "Well...after the fall of the Empire, we of course notified _all _the planets previously under Imperial control about the shift of government...and most were eager to assist in rebuilding the Republic...but not all. Some have chosen to remain neutral, others are for the time-being undecided, and others...continue their allegiance to the Emperor."

"Like Naboo," finished Padme.

Leia nodded hesitantly.

"Well what's your plan for them?" Padme said impatiently.

Leia breathed. "We have sent ambassadors to a few of them in hopes of convincing them to join the New Republic..."

"A _few?"_ Padme exclaimed.

"Mother, you of all people should know how difficult the world of governing the galaxy is," Leia said stiffly.

Padme stared at her daughter's pupils. "And how many planets have you had success with?"

Leia breathed again. "A few...albeit fewer than the number of planets that have received ambassadors."

By now Padme was sick of hearing her daughter say the word _few._ "And I take it, Naboo is not one of those _few_ planets that have received ambassadors?"

Leia sighed. "Mother, Naboo is no longer the peaceful planet you remember."

Padme's brow furrowed. "Unless Palpatine somehow managed to wipe out every last sentient being who has ever set foot on Naboo, and..." She pointed to herself. "...I _know_ he didn't, then at least a part of my home still exists." The firm tone of her voice concealed the speed at which her heart was beating. No longer the peaceful planet she remembered? What did she mean by that?

"Leia," she said after a moment, "if you've never been to Naboo, how can you be so certain in your declaration?"

Leia raised her hands in front of her chest, curling her fingers, as if making a precaution to calm any argument that might arise. "Now listen...first of all, of course no single senator has time to check out every planet in the galaxy for herself, but the senate as a whole can make a pretty fair judgement..."

"Don't you think I know that?" Padme interrupted.

Leia didn't acknowledge her mother's interruption. "...and second, you have to remember that before I found you, how was I supposed to know that my mother was from that planet? All I knew of that place was that Palpatine came from there, which explained their extreme refusal to join us or even acknowledge that we had won the war."

Padme's brows sank so low that her eyes hurt. "Send an ambassador there," she said in her commanding voice, as if her daughter was five years old and she was ordering her to go to her room.

Leia gave another sigh. "Mother, I understand why you feel so strongly about this, but if you were to ask any senator, they would say that Naboo would refuse to even accept an ambassador."

Han entered the room. "Hey, in case anyone's still interested, lunch is ready."

"Shhh!" hissed Luke.

"What? What's goin' on?"

"Political matters," said Luke.

Padme had barely noticed her son-in-law - her dizzy mind was rushing through crazy ideas with strong appeal...that seemed to be less and less crazy the more she thought of them...

"Well..." she said carefully, "...what if the ambassador was someone who..._knew_ the planet really well?"

Either Leia read Padme's mind with the Force or she simply inferred her thoughts from her statement, for her eyes dramatically widened. "M-Mother..." she stuttered "...I highly doubt that you_ still_ know the planet really well."

"I know what it _was_," the ex-senator persisted, the firm tone in her voice unwavering.

Leia's breaths were becoming more audible by the second. "Listen," she said in a formal tone, as if she were talking to a fellow politician instead of her mother, "I sympathize with the emotional connections you have with that planet, but the suggestion you are implying is highly unrealistic."

"She's got a point," said Han, who had apparently been filled in on the conversation by Luke. "I mean, no offense, but do you really expect to waltz into the senate and say 'Hey everyone, you guys thought I was dead, but guess what, I'm alive, so could you please send me to Naboo, where I'll be able to convince them to join the New Republic because I used to live there over two decades ago!'?"

Padme shot a brief glare at her son-in-law before turning back to Leia. "I knew Mon Mothma, your current chancellor," she said gently. "We weren't best friends or anything like that, but we respected each other - I'm certain she would remember me. You could arrange for me to talk to her."

Leia was silent. Padme wanted to pretend that she didn't understand why her daughter wasn't responding, but the guess why insisted on popping up in her brain. It was similar to the reason why Leia didn't want to accept her father.

Padme gently placed her hand on Leia's bulging stomach. "Leia...whether you like it or not, you have a connection to Naboo, and so do they." She rubbed her daughter's belly with the other hand. "I'm going to be the only grandparent they have...I want them to be able to see their grandmother's home...and I want you and Luke to, also." Her hands formed a cup on the slopes of her daughter's stomach. "Think about Alderaan. Naboo is to me what Alderaan was to you."

One of the babies kicked her hand from the womb, as if he or she could hear his or her grandmother's words and approved of them. Padme's eyes moved from her daughter's stomach to her daughter's head, which was ever-so-slightly moving into a nod.

"All right," she said softly. "I'll see what I can do to arrange for you to talk to Mon Mothma."

Padme threw her arms around her daughter's neck. "Thank you."

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That night, Leia sat in the chair next to her bed - the same chair from which she had watched her mother on that first night many months ago. Again she could feel her heart beating at an unusually quick pace, this time syncopated with her babies moving within her. She stared at the empty bed where the one who bore her once lay.

The sound of the refresher door sliding open stimulated her eyes to look upward, where she saw Han exiting the refresher in his white pajamas, the ones that she always insisted made him look cute. She hoped the way he was dressed wasn't meant as a sign of what he wanted tonight - even if she wasn't six months pregnant, she wasn't in the mood for lovemaking.

"Hey sweetheart, you okay?" he said.

Leia forced herself to smile at her husband. "I'm fine, honey."

Han moved around the bed to the chair, where he leaned over and buried his nose in his wife's hair as his hands sensually caressed her shoulders.

"Not tonight, Han," Leia said with a slight moan. "I'm carrying a load."

"You know, I oughta start keepin' track of how many times you refuse me because of your pregnancy," said Han, taking her face into his hands. "Then I'll know how much you owe me after they're born."

Leia accepted a long kiss as "payment" for allowing her to have a full night's sleep tonight. After their lips separated, her eyes shifted their focus to some area across the room. "Han..." she said, "...did I _really_ say I would arrange for Mother to talk with Mon Mothma?"

"Yup, you did."

"...And did I _really_ contact Mon Mothma this evening?"

"Uh-huh."

"And did she _really _say that my visitor and I could have an appointment tomorrow?"

"Unless you were lyin' when you told us that at dinnertime," said Han.

Leia took her husband's hand and haphazardly rubbed his knuckles with her thumb. "But I didn't tell her _who _the visitor I'm going to bring was. I mean...the news is going to shock her."

"No more than it shocked all of us," said Han.

"That's not the point," said Leia, pushing Han's hand aside. "Han...I'm potentially setting Mother up for a load of embarrassment. The instant Mon hears her proposal she's going to either laugh or give a bunch of reasons why it can't be done."

"I wouldn't worry bout your mom's ability to persuade people if I were you," Han said as he made his way to the dresser. "I'd worry about more important things, like why me and my bride ain't here." He rapped the part of the dresser where their wedding holo used to stand, before Padme obtained her own bedroom and took the holo with her.

Leia groaned. "Han, we've been through this. I'm going to get us another copy made - and you know how much it meant to her to have a piece of our wedding."

"Well you could've at least talked to me about it," said Han.

"You were asleep."

"That's no excuse."

Leia sighed as she pushed herself out of the chair to her feet. "Han...how's she going to handle it if Mon refuses to listen to her?"

Han shuffled over to his wife. "Like I said, I wouldn't worry bout her persuasion ability."

"You really think she can convince Mon Mothma to send her to Naboo as an ambassador?"

"No," said Han. "But since when is my word worth anything?" He gave one of his cheeky grins before kissing her cheek.

Leia's mind was too occupied to reply to his statement. Her focus again drifted across the room to the ever-moving lights outside the window, darting around from building to speeder to building...until she suddenly felt her feet pulled out from under her.

"Han!" she shouted as her husband carried her over to the bed.

"You weren't makin' any move to get to bed on your own, sweetheart," scoffed Han, bouncing his wife's back against his arm.

"Han I swear, one of these days you're going to break your back," sputtered Leia. "I'm gaining weight by the day, you know."

"Yeah, I know," Han said as he gently sat Leia down on her side of the bed. "Now whether it's from the babies or just from how much you've been eatin' is another matter." He skillfully crawled onto the bed while dodging Leia's swat at him.

"You missed," he said with a grin.

"Han please, I'm not in the mood for this," Leia grumbled as she leaned against the back of the bed.

Han's grin faded. "I got a feeling something more than just your mom's embarrassment is botherin' you."

The babies seemed to think that this was a good moment to both kick at once, causing their mother to grunt rather loudly and clutch her stomach.

"See, they're tellin' their mommy to stop worrying," said Han. He gently grasped the edge of the covers with one hand and the edge of Leia's nightgown with the other, pulling her gown halfway up to reveal her stomach while also pulling the covers up to hide the area below her stomach, most likely attempting to suppress temptation.

"Yeah, guys," he murmured to her stomach. "You tell your mommy that she worries too much, since she never listens to your daddy."

Leia was silent as her husband repeatedly kissed the area around her navel. Every touch of Han's warm lips against the skin which housed new life brought thoughts of her own mother: both the love and the confusion that came from her, as well as the curious thoughts that she stimulated. When she and Luke were in their mother's womb, did Anakin ever give them this kind of pre-birth affection? She could ask, of course...but did she want to?

"Interesting, isn't it?" she said softly.

"What?" said Han between kisses.

"My father was a Sith, and my mother was from the same planet as the worst Sith ever."

"At least you know who your parents are," Han said in a voice that sounded half like a joke and half like a grumble. "Still think findin' out's overrated?"

"No," Leia said sincerely. "It's just that..." Her voice trailed off.

Han rubbed her stomach. "Hey, I ain't sure about bringin' Palpatine's planet to the New Republic either."

"It's not that," said Leia. "Well...not exactly. I mean...it's hard to get rid of my head's tendency to label Naboo only as the Emperor's planet...but it's not that."

"So the actual thing is...?"

Leia grasped one of her husband's fingers, rubbing his calloused skin. "Han, you saw the look on her face when I told her she could talk to Mon Mothma tomorrow, the way her eyes lit up and all. If you were Force-sensitive, you would have felt a great surge of childlike excitement to come home again from her."

"And that's bad because...?"

Leia sighed through clenched teeth. "You know, explaining this to a half-witted nerfherder isn't helping me much."

"Hey Princess, I'm just tryin' to gain a deeper understanding of my wife's oh-so-complex mind," Han said before leaning over to kiss her belly once more. "It's good practice for when I've gotta deal with these two."

Leia took a deep breath before talking again - she wasn't in the mood for a bicker. "Han...even if her proposal is accepted, she'll go to Naboo expecting to find home and instead finding a world that's endured years of Imperial control...true, I don't know the details about Naboo's current situation, but judging on the fact that their leaders remain faithful to Palpatine, I can only imagine the worst."

"Well considerin' all she's been through..."

"That's just it!" interrupted Leia. "Han, she's suffered so much already...I'm sending her to further suffering." Her voice wavered slightly. "She might find that the Naboo she remembers has indeed been destroyed...almost like Alderaan." She swallowed hard, blinking back tears. "Han, what I've experienced losing Alderaan is something I wouldn't wish on _anyone._"

Han gently put his arm around his wife. "Leia, I'm sure she's had those same thoughts, but she's willin' to face that possibility for the chance of makin' things better for her home." His fingers brushed her shoulder. "You should be, too. That's what's gonna mean the most to her."

Leia gazed into his hazel eyes. "You know, for a half-witted nerfherder, you're pretty wise."

"Well that must've accidentally rubbed off on me from bein' married to you," said Han, grinning briefly. "It's against the smuggler's code to be wise, ya know."

"I know," said Leia, almost grinning back.

Han continued stroking her shoulder. "Now if you'd like some more of my wise advice, I suggest gettin' some sleep. Your mom's gonna want you to be alert tomorrow."

Leia felt that sleep was going to elude her tonight, but she still nodded, mainly for the sake of her mother. "All right." She kissed her husband's lips. "Good night, Han."

"Night, hon," Han said as he slid down under the covers and nestled his head on the pillow. Leia took a lingering gaze at her husband before turning out the light: his slowly closing eyes, his content smile, his hair mussed against the pillow.

Using her hands to both push and support her body, Leia eased herself into a lying position, briefly envying Han's freedom of movement. She pulled the covers over her body, closed her eyes, and slowed her breath, feigning sleep, sealing up a wide-awake mind that kept directing its thoughts to a former senator who longed to be home again.

In the "guest" bedroom, curled up in the large bed, faintly glowing from the outside lights, her hair spread out on the pillow, Padme slept. Her daughter sought her out with the Force several times during the night, checking for sorrow or anxiety, but feeling only peace. However, she did not reach into her mother's dreams: the dreams of underwater cities and large gardens, of mighty palaces and friendly people, of childhood play and adulthood turmoil. She would never remember these dreams when she woke, but she would remember the urgency to revive the place connected with those memories.


	23. Chapter 23

"My Mother"

By EsmeAmelia

AN: Hey all, thanks as always for reviewing! I'd like to tell you that the next chapter after this will be up soon, but unfortunately, it's time for glorious finals and final projects, so it most likely won't be coming for a few weeks.

Chapter 23

The New Republic Senate met in the same building where the old Republic Senate had held its meetings back in its days, which made Padme more than a little nervous, for that building was associated with several events in her life, many of which were quite unpleasant. Indeed, as the mighty building came into view from Leia's speeder, her heart pounded from floods of memories, from her initial no-confidence vote to Palpatine's final termination of the Republic.

"It looks the same..." she whispered.

Leia briefly looked away from driving the speeder to her mother. "What?"

"The Senate Building...it looks exactly the same as it did when the old Republic still existed..." Her head turned to face her daughter, who was now back to concentrating on driving. "Leia...what's it like inside?" She drummed her fingers on her knee. "I mean...is it the way I remember it?"

The half of Leia's mouth that Padme could see turned slightly upward, as though she were smiling in an attempt to soften any heartbreak. "Well...I can't know for sure, of course, but most of the interior has remained basically the same for years."

"Most?" Padme asked.

"Well...the main meeting room suffered a lot of damage a long time ago. According to some rumors, one of the Jedi destroyed it while making a second attempt to assassinate the Emperor." She glanced back at her mother. "But my father told me the real story. He said that it was Master Yoda's final attempt to save the Republic - and Palpatine's final attempt to eliminate the Jedi. The latter thought he was successful when it was all over, but he was eventually proven wrong, if you know what I mean."

Padme stared ahead. "What's it like now?"

"Rebuilt - supposedly in the same style as it used to be, but I guess you'll be able to judge that for yourself," said Leia.

The daughter's words silenced the mother, whose nearly completely unblinking eyes continued to stare at the place where she once worked, where democracy had died and democracy was now restored.

---------------------------------

As the mother and daughter rode the turbolift up the many floors to Mon Mothma's office, Padme's nerves kept threatening to push her limbs into involuntary movement. Her stomach's innards were shifting around within her, as if she were carrying children, which had in fact been her status the last time she was in this place, the day the old Republic was annihilated.

She looked over at the female child she had carried that day, who looked as formal as a good senator should be, wearing a long blue dress trimmed with dark purple, with her hair done in two buns that covered her ears, though she had made it clear that she wasn't dressed like this merely for the appointment with Mon Mothma, but because there was a session of the senate later that day. Her head was looking down at the lump in her dress, on which both her hands rested.

"Having motherly thoughts?" Padme chided gently.

Leia looked up. "Sort of..." She slowly turned to face her mother. "I was thinking...about something Han did last night."

"Is it too intimate to share?" asked Padme, smiling.

"No," said Leia. She ran her hand over her stomach. "He was speaking to his unborn children...kissing them through my skin...actually, he does that quite frequently, but don't tell him I told you."

"I won't," said Padme.

Leia glanced back down at her abdomen. "I was kind of wondering if my f...if your husband ever did that when you were pregnant."

Padme's heart fluttered, for they had both caught Leia coming very close to verbally admitting that Anakin was her father. Since Endor, Padme had been gentler about Anakin with her daughter, silently watching her little steps towards acceptance. She no longer interrupted her daughter when she called Bail Organa her father. She never pointed out that Leia now commonly referred to Anakin as "your husband" instead of "Darth Vader," for concern that making her conscious of it might set her back. Yet she was secretly thrilled whenever Leia used that term, for now it would only be a small leap to call Anakin her father.

Padme reached over to touch Leia' stomach through the rough fabric of her dress."Yes," she said. "Many times." A warmhearted snicker escaped her lips as she remembered those intimate times. "He'd lean over to my stomach and say things like, 'Hey there Luke, or are you Leia? Your daddy can't wait to see which one you are.' We thought we'd only have one, you know." She sighed dreamily. "Then at night, he'd rest his head on my belly for hours, listening to you and Luke moving within, laughing when he felt your kicks." She ran her fingers down her daughter's stomach. "Your father once loved you, Leia."

Leia's mouth was silent, but her hand brushed over her mother's hand, letting her interpret that action however she preferred.

-------------------------------------------------

As Leia and Padme made their way down the large, bustling hall to Mon Mothma's office, Padme began to feel slightly nauseous. Her eyes glanced at every stranger they passed, seeing if she knew them, but she recognized no one. The air filled her nostrils with the familiar scent of strong window cleaners. By the time they reached the door to Mon Mothma's office, next to the towering window that overlooked the city, she was having difficulty walking with steady balance.

Leia turned around and placed her hands on her mother's shoulders. "All right, we're here," she said. "I'll go in first and explain...well, explain you, and then you'll come in and give your proposal. Are you all right with that?"

Padme nodded. Her face was locked in a blank expression as she swallowed several times. She stared without blinking as her daughter walked up to the chancellor's door and pushed the intercom.

"Senator Organa Solo," she said in a formal voice. "I have an appointment with President Mon Mothma."

The door slid open, Leia stepped inside, and the door slid closed, leaving Padme alone. She stood without moving for several moments, taking in great amounts of air with single breaths. After she found her ability to move, she walked over to the window, thinking that maybe the view would distract her, but after two or three seconds it became boring.

She slowly made her way back to the door, tempted to press her ear against it and see if she could hear what was taking place behind it. No, she shouldn't, and besides it was probably soundproofed anyway, but right now she was willing to do almost anything to get her mind off of her racing nerves.

She cautiously leaned her head against the door, but heard nothing. As she had suspected, it seemed to be soundproof. Or rather, it seemed to be soundproof until she heard a loud gasp from behind it.

So...it had happened. Padme Amidala, long dead as far as the public was concerned, was now resurrected. Her stomach unexpectedly lurched at the thought that she was now out of her cocoon of secrecy. She had taken the step into a world with no exit.

The door unexpectedly slid open, giving Padme only a split second to cease her leaning on it.

Leia jumped slightly when she discovered her mother only inches away from her, but she quickly regained her composure. She cleared her throat. "You may come in now."

The instant Padme walked through the door, she felt as if all her senses had been given drugs to make them extra-aware. She was aware of the yielding carpet under her feet, the pull of her golden hairpiece yanking at her skull, the artificial flowery scent in the air, the itch in her back caused by her dress. The only thing that seemed to be disappearing was her daughter's presence, even though she was walking right beside her. Padme felt alone as she approached the grand desk of Mon Mothma.

Apart from a few lines creasing her face, the chancellor looked almost the same as she had in her old Republic days. Perhaps her reddish-brown hair was a bit shorter than it once was, but Padme couldn't tell for sure. It didn't matter much anyway, since the feature about her that looked completely different had nothing to do with age.

Never before had Padme seen this woman of such a calm and dignified demeanor with her mouth hanging open, nor with her eyes bulging so wide that they looked like they were in danger of falling out of their sockets. A period of time that seemed to be a few seconds short of an eternity passed before she finally spoke.

"Senator Amidala..." she said in a voice that sounded like it was struggling to keep it composure.

Padme gave a slight bow. "Senator Mon Mothma," she said. Then, realizing her mistake, she added, "Or rather, I guess it's Chancellor Mon Mothma now."

"Yes, although we commonly use the term 'President' now," Mon replied, her eyes still unmoving in their stare.

"Well then..." Padme bowed again, "..._President_ Mon Mothma, I trust that Senator Organa Solo has told you the nature of my survival."

"Yes," both Mon and Leia said at the same time, which finally free Mon's eyes to move away from Padme to give Leia a hushing look.

"Do have a seat," Mon said when she turned back to Padme.

Padme obeyed her request, noticing that Mon's eyes seemed to be growing larger when she was on her level.

"Carbon freeze...whoever would have thought?" Mon murmured.

Padme supposed that she had better get used to being studied if she was going to make her survival known, so she didn't acknowledge the chancellor's statement; rather, she went straight to the issue at hand.

"Did Senator Organa Solo give any information about my proposal?" she asked.

"She mentioned it having to do with your home planet, but did not give the details," Mon replied, the accent in her voice enhancing her words and nearly concealing the way some of them shook slightly.

Padme inhaled deeply through her nose in an attempt to stifle her nerves. "President Mon Mothma," she began, "I have been made aware of how my home planet of Naboo has refused to join the New Republic because they continue their devotion to the Empire."

"Yes," said Mon, her eyes still not shrinking.

Padme carefully placed her fingers on the desk. "I know you remember that Naboo was once dedicated to the ways of the old Republic."

"Twenty-three years ago, yes, but now..."

"I am fully aware of that," said Padme. "I realize that the senate is justifiably hesitant to connect with Palpatine's home planet. Were I in your position, I would probably think the same as you."

"Senator," Mon said, although Padme technically wasn't a senator anymore, "I realize how difficult it must be for you to accept the reality of your home planet's situation, but your own emotions do not change it."

"And neither will the New Republic if they do nothing," said Padme. "The attitude of Naboo's leaders says nothing about the _people_." Her head concentrating on keeping the political voice she had years back. "If the leaders are faithful to Palpatine, they may also be faithful to Palpatine's ways of oppression and cruelty." She stared at Mon's eyes. "Is it right for the New Republic to turn their backs on the people of Naboo because they have the misfortune of coming from the same planet as the Emperor?"

Mon reached over and grasped Padme's hand. "I wholeheartedly agree with you, but unfortunately, most of the senate does not share your attitude, nor do our ambassadors." She squeezed Padme's hand, as if thrilled to be feeling a "dead" senator's flesh. "We may like to pretend that prejudice no longer exists in the New Republic, but it appears to be one of those unerasable elements of sentient's nature."

Padme tried to will her stomach to stop churning as she took a deep breath. "President," she said, paying close attention to not letting her voice shake, "I can offer you an ambassador who _won't_ be affected by prejudices against Naboo - on the contrary, she will be someone who actually _believes_ in what it used to be."

Her ears cringed, waiting for the laugh that Leia warned her would come. Her eyes studied Mon's face for any signs that she was concealing a snicker, but the only change that occurred was her eyes growing still wider.

"Padme..." she said with a hint of a stutter, "...may I ask you why you believe yourself qualified?"

"I was one of the most prominent figures in Naboo's recent history..." Padme began.

"I'm afraid your name has been tarnished since then," said Mon.

Padme's nerves abruptly jumped. "What?"

Mon sighed. "I have no part of it - I want you to know that, but now what people remember best about you is that you took the first action that gave Palpatine his rise to power."

"It could have been anyone else," Leia spoke up. "You know perfectly well that he manipulated everyone to some point. She was merely one of the many who were deceived."

"I know that," said Mon, "but things are always easier when people can find someone to blame, particularly someone who's dead and unable to defend herself."

"I am no longer dead," Padme said in a low, fierce voice. "What you and Senator Organa Solo have told me convinces me more than ever that my people need me. I am perhaps one of the few people alive who truly remembers what Naboo once was, which can only be a benefit to this mission which it seems no one else is willing to undertake."

The chancellor's head moved up slightly before ceasing its motion, as if she were on the verge of agreeing with Padme's proposal but something was still preventing her from doing so.

"Padme..." she said cautiously, "...I can't help but feel that you are rushing into this without thinking everything out. Yes, there may be a small chance of your theory being correct, but you must also consider your own well-being in this matter, since Naboo is clearly a very emotional subject for you."

So _that's_ what it was? Mon Mothma thought Padme was a delicate little flower who would wither away with any tampering? "President," she said, "let me assure you that I have indeed thought of what seeing my planet again after all these years would do to me, but my own emotions should not be a reason to refuse my proposal. Besides, if you are going to talk about what it would do to me personally, allow me to inform you that I have concluded that letting my planet continue to exist under the rule of neo-Imperials without doing anything to help would do me more damage than whatever would come from this journey."

Padme amazed herself with how unemotional she could make herself sound in formal situations. She was tempted to mention the events she had already suffered through and survived, but decided against it. Revealing that she had been married to the man who became Darth Vader probably wouldn't do much to help her cause.

Mon's eyes were lowered down at the desk, appearing deep in thought. Her hand slipped off of Padme's, chilling her skin from the abrupt removal of body heat. Or perhaps the chill was from nervousness. She found herself listening to her own breathing as she waited in anxiety for a response.

When the president finally raised her head, her mouth was raised in a tiny smile. "Well," she said calmly, "if you are completely certain that you want to do this, I think it is a wonderful idea. However, I do not have the authority to decide on which ambassadors get sent where by myself. It would have to be approved by the senate first."

Padme's throat seemed to sink down into her stomach. If the senate had to approve, her proposal would almost certainly be rejected from the way things sounded.

"President, if I may," said Leia, "perhaps I could bring her to the meeting this afternoon, where she could present her proposal in person. If the senate sees her, they might be more inclined to accept her proposal."

Mon's hand grasped Padme's hand for a second time. "Would you be willing to do that?"

Come to the senate? Expose herself to possible shame and ridicule? Return to the place that had caused her such pain? For the briefest of moments she considered saying no, before visions of her home crept into her head once more. She felt her mouth turning into an unintentional smile.

"Yes," she said in a naturally steady voice, "I am."

Mon's smile spread fully as she let go of Padme's hand. "Well, that's settled then. I wish you luck."

Padme rose from her seat in a bit of a daze. Mon Mothma approved. Within hours, the senate might approve. She was closer to returning home. Her nerves were again stirring up her innards, but not from fear - from euphoria.

As she turned to leave, she suddenly remembered something else she wanted from the chancellor. "Oh, one more thing," she said. "If the senate should accept my proposal, I wish for my daughter and her family to accompany me to Naboo."

"Your...daughter?" Mon said, her eyes widening again when she looked at Leia.

Padme's heart thumped. Mon most likely knew who Leia and Luke's father was. Would she scowl at Padme for that?

To the ex-senator's complete surprise, Mon's face relaxed into the complete opposite of a scowl. She smiled serenely at the two women.

"Of course," she said.


	24. Chapter 24

"My Mother"

By EsmeAmelia

AN: Hey all, I'm back! And while I was so busy finishing up college, I got 600 REVIEWS! WOO, I wish I could think of something more creative to say than "Thanks everyone!". Anyway, SCHOOL'S OUT, so updates can probably be more frequent now. (Man, it's gettingclose to a year since I started this fic - and people are still reading!)

Chapter 24

Padme felt like she had been holding her breath for about two hours as she sat next to her daughter during the senate meeting. Their box felt like a tiny escape pod floating alone in the infinite reaches of space. She tried to listen to the extended talks of issues like taxation, treaties, and laws - she would have thought that attending her first New Republic senate meeting would be a fascinating experience for her, but it turned out that Naboo had washed away interest in other things for the moment.

She jumped slightly when she felt Leia squeeze her hand. "You'll do fine, Mother," she whispered. When Leia released her, Padme glanced over at her daughter just in time to see her discreetly shake her mother's sweat off of her hand.

Padme swallowed as she turned back to face the massive crowds of senators, remembering how small this place could make one feel. The layers of senate boxes felt like a tidal wave towering up in the moment before striking the land - her nerves were tensed as if it could crash down on her at any moment.

In the center of the arena-like room, Mon Mothma stood straight on her president's platform, bellowing out her instructions, which echoed throughout the room. Back in the days of the old Republic, it had never entered Padme's mind that Mon would rise to the chancellor's seat one day, but now that she saw her in action, she wondered why the thought had never come to her - Mon seemed to be made to play the part of a leader.

"And now for the final item on our agenda," Mon said after what had felt like years. "This morning, one of the senators inquired to me about an announcement she wishes to give." Her voice seemed to increase even more in volume. "The chair now recognizes Senator Leia Organa Solo, representative of the sovereign system of Coruscant."

Leia rose to her feet as their senate box floated to the center of the room, making Padme feel as if she had left some of her innards behind. The mother remained seated, glancing downward, as if that would prevent everyone from seeing her face and perhaps recognizing her, even though they were of course too far away to see her face...right?

"The announcement I have to present to you today has to do with a discovery," Leia said, her voice seeming to take over the room. "Five months ago, I was assigned to patrol a construction site for a new medical facility: a site where a different medical facility once stood."

Padme wished she could see her daughter's face. Even in all her nervousness, she felt a bit of pride to hear Leia's political voice.

"If there is anyone here who still doubts the existence of the Force, they should be convinced of it by the end of this meeting," Leia continued. "Only the Force could have led me to a chamber that had been concealed for twenty-three years, sealing up..." She paused briefly, as if trying to give a dramatic effect. "...a woman, encased in carbonite."

A slightly audible murmur followed that statement, containing no words that Padme's ears could make out. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, half of her wishing that Leia would simply let her speak and the other half wanting Leia's speech to continue for hours.

"Yes," said Leia, "much like my husband, she had survived the horrifying process of carbon freezing. Now some of you might be wondering why I bring her here today." She paused again. Though Padme couldn't see her face, she figured that her daughter was probably searching for the right words.

"It's because she is someone who once served in this very room," Leia continued, "back before the galaxy was tarnished by the Emperor's reign. Now she wishes to assist us in picking up the pieces of the old Republic in our quest to fully rebuild it." She gave a long, loud breath before her next statement. "Ladies and Gentlemen of the New Republic Senate, I present to you...Senator Padme Amidala, previously queen of the planet Naboo and senator in the old Republic."

If it was possible for thousands of people to make the same sound simultaneously, that was what was happening now. Bellowing gasps surrounded Padme and Leia from all directions, so loud that Padme had to wait a few minutes before speaking.

She inhaled so deeply that it sent pain to her head. "Honorable senators of the New Republic," she began, her own voice irritating her ears with its massive volume from being projected around the room, "those of you who were around when I served the old Republic are undoubtedly shocked to see me alive once again, and even those of you were not might be equally surprised. I acknowledge the disbelief you must be experiencing, but once again my home planet of Naboo is in need of assistance."

"Oh, the Emperor's home planet needs assistance?" a voice shouted in a sarcastic tone.

Padme was prepared for that sort of reaction. "Yes, it was the home planet of Palpatine. Obviously, he had to come from somewhere. His planet could have been anywhere. It could have been, say, Tatooine...or Corellia...or..." She briefly glanced back at Leia seated behind her. "...or Alderaan."

Various murmurs jumbled up with each other filled the room as a box in which a male Twil'ik stood floated towards the center. "How do we know for certain that this is the senator Padme Amidala?" the Twil'ik bellowed.

Padme's stomach tightened, but her voice remained calm. "Should anyone doubt that I am her, I will be more than happy to submit myself to a DNA test," she declared.

"Then you would obviously know that Senator Amidala was _Palpatine's loyal supporter,_" the Twil'ik shouted.

"Here here!" a voice responded, followed by a louder murmur, one that sounded full of rushing accusations that could not be detected individually.

Padme felt her brows lowering. "The Palpatine I trusted was one that never existed," she shouted. "His deceptive powers were strong enough to capture not only me, but the entire Republic. It was only too late when we realized what he was."

Another box floated toward Padme, this one carrying a human female wearing a brown pantsuit that looked barely appropriate for a senator. "So you actually think that's going to make everything all right?" she snapped. "Maybe you'd like to see what your falling into his deception cost us!"

"I already know," Padme said, finding that keeping her voice calm was getting difficult. This woman looked like she was either a child or not yet born when the Empire rose. "I share in the pain you have suffered from him - directly." _Probably more directly than you have,_ she thought.

The senator didn't seem to believe her. "Oh, _directly_?" she snapped. "So I suppose your friend Palpatine destroyed your home or your family so he could tell you he wasn't your friend after all?"

Padme felt like she had been hit with a stunray - the senator's insults were too close to the truth. "Well why do you think I was frozen?" she said. Yes, she thought to herself, Palpatine _was_ responsible for her freezing...in a way.

The insulting senator looked like she was about to snap back at Padme when Mon Mothma's voice interrupted the argument. "Enough!" she shouted. "The chair does _not _recognize the senator from the system of Corellia at this time." She turned to face the Twil'ik. "Nor does it recognize the senator from the system of Yelsa."

Padme felt herself relax a bit as the two boxes floated back to their spots.

"Don't be too angry at her," Leia whispered from behind her. "Senator Ruba's entire family was killed by the Empire. Besides...she's Corellian, you know that they can have tempers at times."

Padme figured that her daughter was probably grinning, but she wasn't about to look back at her and whisper a private joke about Han right now. She once again had the floor, and this time Mon would let anyone take it from her.

"I realize that the younger senators find it difficult to believe me," she continued. "Perhaps the older senators do as well, so I will simply get the large issue out of the way. Yes, I gave the no-confidence vote to Chancellor Vallorum thirty-six years ago, which opened up the chair to Palpatine, my senator. It was the biggest mistake I ever made. You must believe me when I say that if I were given an opportunity to undo it, I would." She gave a loud breath that could be heard throughout the room. "It is likely that most of you have lost loved ones to the Empire. We have probably all suffered under Palpatine's rule in one way or another, myself included."

Senator, how exactly have _you _suffered? a Wookiee senator inquired.

"The chair does not recognize the senator from the system of Kashyyyk, either," Mon responded in a firm voice.

Padme swallowed, forcing down any food that might be trying to find its way back up. "Palpatine took away twenty-three years of my life," she responded. "He took away my home planet, placing under the rule of his followers. And..." She swallowed again. "...he took away the man I loved."

"Mother, what are you doing?" Leia whispered as another murmur broke out.

Padme slightly raised her hand to communicate that she knew what she was doing without having to turn away from her audience. "With death? That is only part of it," she bellowed. "Yes, death caught him eventually, but before that, Palpatine lured him into a fate that was far worse."

More gasps, sounding disgusted by this revelation.

"Are you telling us that the rumors are true?" Senator Ruba exclaimed.

"What rumors?" Padme asked, feeling like a stronger stunray had hit her.

"The rumors that you were secretly married to Darth Vader," the Corellian senator said bluntly.

Yet another overpowering gasp filled the room, making Padme feel as though she were being Force-choked again. She breathed heavily as she glanced back at Leia.

"Did you know about this?" she whispered.

Leia's eyes were wide as she shook her head. "No Mother, I swear I didn't."

Padme turned back to face the senate that was suddenly blurry to her eyes. "I will attempt to refute your claims with the complete truth." Her throat dried as she continued. "I _was_ secretly married. Not to a Sith, to a Jedi. A Jedi who blessed me with a glorious marriage and two wonderful children." She swallowed yet again in an attempt to moisten her parched throat. "The Emperor took my husband away not just in body, but in soul - he altered him beyond any resemblance to his previous self."

An even louder mutter followed, sounding full of jumbled-up curses and words of disgust. For a moment, Padme felt that her latest announcement had drawn away her voice. She had given a statement which only a very few could understand. Not even her own daughter completely understood it - how could she have possibly expected the entire senate to?

She jumped at the sudden sound of Leia abruptly rising from her seat and joining her side.

"Her personal life is not relevant to the issue at hand," Leia bellowed. "And besides, it was her secret marriage that eventually enabled democracy to return to the galaxy." She paused briefly, as though hesitant to continue. "Were it not for her marriage, two of the Rebel Alliance's most respected leaders would have never existed." She smiled slightly. "I personally am grateful that my brother Luke and I were brought into the world."

Her daughter's defense brought back Padme's voice, distracting her from the loud mutter that followed. "Senators," she shouted with renewed confidence, "you all have loved ones. Friends, family, people you trust. You feel that you know them - that they will never betray you. Imagine, for example, if I told you that your President Mon Mothma was truly a Sith lord out to destroy the New Republic. I imagine very few of you, if any, would believe me, am I right?"

A softer murmur, one that sounded like at least of few of its voices were in agreement with her.

Padme finally felt like she truly had the crowd's full attention. She spread out her arms and rested her hands on the edge of the box, assuming a determined stance. "I come here before you not to defend the acts of the Emperor, but to assist you in defense against them. Although his Empire has fallen, many are still suffering from his rule."

Now the reaction was almost inaudible.

"I know some of you remember that Naboo was once a peaceful planet," Padme continued. "It is the gravest misfortune that one individual resident of that planet has managed to tarnish its reputation. Yes, it is completely understandable that many of you do not wish to involve his planet in the New Republic, but I ask you, do a planet's leaders determine what the people are like?" She softly cleared her throat, thinking that she would need a serious dose of water when this was over.

"When Palpatine ruled over the galaxy, would it have been right to assume that _everyone _under his rule was like him?" she continued in a bold voice. "Turning away from Naboo does not do anything to make their problems vanish. It is hiding under a blanket, naively thinking that if the people's cries for help are not heard, then they do not exist." Her voice was growing fiercer by the second. "You all know the pain and oppression of living under the Emperor and his followers. The people of Naboo are still living under that pain and oppression."

If there was any response, it was completely undetectable to Padme's ears. Even the Corillian senator seemed to be hushed.

"My people once again call to me for help, and I feel I must respond, but the best way for me to respond requires your approval." She paused for a much-needed breath, which once more took away her throat's moisture. "I propose that the senate assign myself and Senator Organa Solo as ambassadors to be sent to Naboo."

"What, me too?" Leia whispered in surprise.

"They'll be more likely to accept if I'm accompanied by someone they know," Padme whispered back. "Besides, you'll need a reason to be absent from your position for a while." She sat down, having hopefully said all that was needed. "By the way, thanks for defending me." _And Ani_, she thought to herself. She felt herself being pulled backwards as their box returned to its regular spot.

"No need for thanks," Leia whispered back.

Padme stared out at the masses of people. "Do they all know about your heritage?"

"Probably most of them," said Leia. "Luke's told that story of how the Emperor died many times over, never leaving anything out." A slight puff of air came out of her mouth. "Whenever I'm approached about it, I simply say that you can't choose your parents, which seems to be enough for most."

Padme said nothing.

Mon Mothma once more had the floor. Even from this distance, Padme thought she could see the chancellor smiling at her.

"Thank you, Senator Amidala," her accented voice said. Her head slowly turned from one shoulder to the other, showing that she was now addressing the senate as a whole. "We shall now vote on whether or not to accept her proposal."

With those words, Padme seemed to have found a new definition of the word _nervous_. Her nerves crumbled as if her entire body had been crushed by a building and had miraculously survived. She found that she had to remind herself how to breathe for a few seconds as she watched Leia press her vote into her datapad.

"You're voting in favor, right?" she whispered, although she knew that votes in the senate were supposed to be strictly confidential.

Leia looked up at her mother and gave a soft grin. "I think you can guess."

Padme desperately wished that she had voting rights. She closed her eyes, blacking out the senate, as if watching the senators vote would compel them to vote in opposition. Her mind began running through the speech she had just given, searching for flaws, wondering if she could have said anything better.

"All right, is there anyone who has not voted or is choosing to abstain from voting?" Mon's voice bellowed, drawing Padme's eyes to open slightly. Her own breath grew increasingly audible during the few seconds of bleak silence between Mon's question and her following announcement.

"All right, the senate has voted..."

Padme's heart stopped.

"...in favor of Senator Amidala's proposal."

Padme blinked frantically. Did she really just hear...no, she heard wrong...didn't she?

"Senator Amidala and Senator Organa Solo will be sent to Naboo in an attempt to convince them to join our New Republic," Mon continued. "May the Force be with them both. Meeting adjourned."

Leia squealed in delight and threw her arms around her dazed mother. "You did it, Mother! You did it!"

A smile gradually broke out on Padme's face as the full realization came to her. She had done it. Naboo still had a chance. _She was going home._

She squeezed her daughter into a hug so tight it could have rivaled a Wookiee hug, both of them giving relieved shouts of laughter, bouncing in their seats like little children.

"No, Leia, you're wrong," she said after a moment. "_We_ did it."


	25. Chapter 25

"My Mother"

By EsmeAmelia

AN: Ummmm...hi. Yeah, I know I said I'd be updating more frequently in the summer, but just my luck, as soon as school lets out I start working full time, and I can't bring my computer to work, so...I have even less time to work on this than I used to. Sorry about that. Anyway, woo, it's been a year since I started this fic and it's still going strong.

Chapter 25

Leia and Padme exited the meeting room in high spirits. They probably would have ran out in delight if they weren't blocked by a barrier of senators. As they inched their way through the crowds, they would compliment each other every few seconds on a job well done.

"I can't believe I actually managed to hold myself up there," Padme said with long exhales. "I hadn't done that for so long - I thought I was going to die."

"Once a confident senator, always a confident senator," said Leia, her wide grin refusing to fade.

"We're going to Naboo...we're actually going," Padme repeated, as if she had to say it in order to prevent it from turning out to be a dream. "How soon can we leave?"

"Well, assuming that Han's ship is working, how does tomorrow sound?" said Leia.

"Fabulous," Padme answered in an almost squealing voice, gripping her daughter's arm with excitement. Her open-mouthed smile felt like it was embedded into her face, impossible to eliminate.

"Senator Amidala! Senator Amidala! Senator Amidala! Senator Amidala!"

The impossible-to-eliminate smile was eliminated by numerous unfamiliar voices calling her name in a familiarly annoying tone. She groaned slightly, figuring that she would now have to face one of the more irritating consequences of returning to the public. After a moment, at least seven reporters shoving their way through the crowd and surrounding Leia and Padme with holocameras confirmed her guess.

"Senator Amidala, what do you plan to do if your mission is unsuccessful?"

"Senator Amidala, seeing as how your husband became Darth Vader, did he ever abuse you during your marriage?"

"Senator Amidala, why were you carbon frozen for so long?"

"Senator Amidala, should your mission be a success, do you plan on running for the senate again?"

"Senator Amidala, what was it like to discover that your twins had grown up while you were frozen?"

Leia stepped in front of her mother. "Seeing as how she has preferred to be hidden from the public's eye for five months, I think it would be logical that she does not wish to be bothered by the press right now, thank you very much."

Padme wondered how many times her daughter was going to fly to her defense before the day was over. "Leia," she said, "I can handle this." She stepped out from behind her daughter, figuring that it was finally time to reveal herself completely. Besides, since it looked like the press was getting involved anyway, she would much prefer having her own voice quoted rather than rumors.

_Once a confident senator, always a confident senator,_ she thought.

-------------------------------

"I think an occasion like this is a good reason for a party," Han had said when the women returned home and delivered the news. After a merry debate about where the family should go out to celebrate, they finally settled on a nightclub that was neither too seedy for Padme nor too fancy for Han.

Leia, now changed into a more comfortable attire of brown pants and a white shirt that barely covered her large stomach, her hair in two braids dangling over her ears, led the gang of Padme, Luke, Han, and Chewie into the building.

"No one had better drink too much," she instructed, pinching Han's arm. "_Especially_ not the person who's going to be piloting us to Naboo tomorrow."

"Hey, just cause you're not allowed to drink doesn't mean the rest of us have to abstain," said Han.

"Well I'm not driving home any wasted bodies tonight," said Leia.

"I wasn't _wasted_ the last time we came here," Han insisted. "Just tipsy."

"Clearly you and I have different definitions of 'wasted,' then," Leia said with a snort.

Luke and Padme exchanged giggles. Watching that couple never ceased to be amusing.

The argument ceased when the group took in the large room that was divided into three sections: the eatery, the bar, and the dance floor. Flashing lights of all colors dancing among the three areas seemed to connect them, letting them flow seamlessly into one-another. A band stood in a raised area in the center of the dance floor, playing a song that had a catchy beat and even a tolerable decibel count.

Han's footsteps increased in speed, attempting to get him to the bar before anyone else could do anything about it, but they weren't fast enough to keep Leia from grabbing his arm and dragging him to the eatery.

Luke gazed after them. "Well, seeing as how Leia's got s total of three mouths to feed with her body, they'll probably be there a while."

Padme grinned at her daughter and son-in-law as they disappeared into the crowd. "So, shall we join them?" she asked when she saw Chewie following the couple.

"Maybe later," said Luke, eyeing the dance floor with interest, his body beginning to sway in rhythm to the music.

Padme could sense what her son was thinking. "Luke, do you want to dance?"

Luke turned to his mother, a full teeth-showing grin on his face. "Why not?"

Padme grabbed her son's hand and pulled him toward the dance floor, her pace increasing speed with every step, like a child running to a playground. Though she still had on her dress from this afternoon, she moved as if she was wearing the bare-minimum of clothing, moving somewhere between a skip and a run until she could feel the vibration of the music under her feet.

"I warn you, Mother, I don't dance much, so I might be clumsy," said Luke, the colored lights dancing across his face.

"Isn't it impossible for a Jedi to be clumsy?" Padme said with a grin. "Besides, I don't think this is formal, anyway."

Luke's arms started swinging as his body rocked back and forth in a frantic pace. "I guess not," he said with a laugh.

Within seconds, Padme found that the music had captured her too. Her long skirt and high-healed shoes carried no hindrance to her entire body becoming wrapped up in the rhythm. She didn't bother trying to focus on her son facing her - or anything else, for that matter. Her hand slapped Luke's occasionally, whether it was on purpose or not wasn't caught by her dancing mind.

The song abruptly ceased, causing Padme to suddenly realize that her face was soaked in sweat and her breath was coming out in little pants.

"You okay?" Luke asked between his own pants.

"Oh, I'm better than okay," Padme replied.

On the band's platform, the tentacled keyboard player announced the next song in a language Padme didn't recognize, but within a few seconds she discovered that it was a song with a much slower tempo than the previous one, which brought relief to her body.

"You do realize that everyone probably thinks we're a couple, right?" Luke said in a slightly embarrassed voice as he swayed to the music.

"Let them," said Padme. "I never got to dance with you when you were little - I more than deserve it now." She took her son's real hand and imagined it was much smaller, small enough to fit in her palm, that she was reaching down to hold it, swinging it back and forth while listening to his high giggle. She imagined looking across the room to see Anakin dancing with his daughter, her little feet balancing on his shoes.

"Mother...what's Naboo like?" Her son's mature voice broke the fantasy and stimulated other thoughts that were equally emotional.

She reached over and pushed a strand of her son's hair behind his ear. "Well...if there's a bright center of the universe, it's Naboo." She reached up and allowed Luke to gently spin her around as she spoke. "It's abundant with lakes and rivers that sparkle from its sun, it has gorgeous buildings that have stood for centuries while still being used, the air smells of water and flowers." She suddenly grabbed both of Luke's hands and began whirling _him_ around, barely keeping her own foothold. "When you walk down the streets of Naboo, you can feel that you're somewhere special. And there are underwater cities - yes, underwater cities, where the Gungans live."

"You told us about the Gungans on Endor, remember?" said Luke.

"Yes," said Padme, still spinning Luke around. "Although their mannerisms may put you off at first, they proved themselves to be a big help to us once we established peace between our peoples."

Luke stamped his feet down, causing Padme to cease spinning him. He wriggled his hands out of his mother's and gripped his face in dizziness.

"All right, I've had enough dancing for now," he said between heaves, but his face bore a smile that told Padme he had enjoyed himself.

"Well how about the eatery?" said Padme. "I'm willing to bet Leia and Han are still there."

"Sounds good," said Luke. After a momentary pause spent catching his breath, he added, "Do you think Naboo's still like that? I mean, after...well, you know."

A cloud of darkness momentarily overtook Padme's face. "We'll have to wait and see," she said in a low voice. "Right now I can only pray that it is..." She relaxed her face a tiny bit. "Maybe it is. Maybe some of the people I'm close to are even still there. You once had family there, you know: grandparents, an aunt, two cousins..."

Luke's real hand ran through her hair, as though offering condolence. She remembered how difficult it had been to keep herself from breaking into tears when she had first told her children about their family on Naboo...the family that might no longer be living.

She decided to slightly change the subject. "Luke, since you're coming with us to Naboo tomorrow, how would you like to spend the night with us?"

"With you?"

"Yes," said Padme, grinning a bit. "You could sleep on the sofa - it's had quite a bit of use, after all. Then maybe one of these nights we could get Leia to sleep on it and all four of us would have had our time."

Luke giggled. "Sure, I'd love to."

-------------------------------------------

Padme and Luke reached the eatery to find Han, Leia, and Chewie seated at a table on which sat several dirty dishes, chatting with a dark-skinned man who had a thick mustache and a long cape draping over his shoulders.

"Hey Lando!" Luke exclaimed when he saw the man. "What are you doing here?"

"Hey, isn't an ex-general allowed to relax?" the man said, playfully slapping Luke's side. "So is this true what I hear about you guys goin' to Naboo tomorrow?"

"Yes, it is," Luke said, sitting down at the table with his mother.

Lando gaped when he saw Padme. "Hello hello, what have we here?" He flashed a sly smile at Luke. "So you finally got yourself one, eh Luke? Looks like you've got a pretty good catch." He reached across the table to shake Padme's hand. "Good evening, I'm Lando Calrissian, formerly owner of Cloud City and General of the Rebel Alliance."

Han snorted. "Who fought in a grand total of one battle," he added.

Padme smiled at Lando, despite the idea that he had just implied about her and Luke. "Padme Amidala. Nice to finally meet you."

"Finally?" said Lando.

Leia quickly cut in. "She's the woman who's been staying with us, the one Han told you about."

"And the reason why you guys haven't invited me over for months, right?" said Lando. "Guess she and Luke have been hogging your guest bed together."

Padme gave Han a brief look that said, _"So you told him about me without telling him the most important thing?" _to which Han shrugged and tilted his head with slightly wide eyes, as if saying, _"Guess that part must've slipped my mind."_

"Lando, she and I aren't..." Luke began to say, but he was interrupted by a news bulletin flashing on the large holovision screen on the wall next to them.

"In a most startling session of the New Republic Senate this afternoon," the reporter said in a rapid voice as a silent clip of Padme at the senate meeting played, "Senator Leia Organa Solo brought in a senator from the old Republic who has been thought to be dead for the last twenty-three years. Senator Padme Amidala, best known for giving a no-confidence vote that allowed Emperor Palpatine to rise to the chancellor's seat in the old Republic, turns out to have been carbon-frozen when she was assumed dead."

"So even when I'm alive, they still want to shove the action I regret most into everyone's faces?" Padme muttered.

"Shh!" said Leia.

"Apparently she has been concealing herself from the public for the past five months since she was unfrozen," the reporter continued, "living with Senator Organa Solo and her husband, General Han Solo, which makes her sudden decision to reappear in the senate all the more startling. Nearly as unbelievable as the fact that she is alive is the issue she presented to the senate today."

The holovision cut to a brief snippet from the afternoon's senate meeting, showing Padme's face saying, "I propose that the senate assign myself and Senator Organa Solo as ambassadors to be sent to Naboo."

"Although her motives were questioned by some of the senators," the reporter continued, "the senate's final vote was in favor of her bold proposal to be sent to Naboo in an attempt to convince Palpatine's home planet to join the New Republic. When asked about any concerns she might have had, she had this to say."

It cut again to a clip from one of the interviews Padme had given that afternoon. She said, "I know that a planet still living in the delusions spread by Palpatine and his minions will be difficult to move back into democracy, but I am confident that the old Naboo will prevail."

The reporter spoke again. "And these were not the only surprises offered to the senate this afternoon. During the meeting, Senator Amidala also revealed that in her old Republic days she had been married to the Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker, the man who later became the feared Sith lord Darth Vader, which also means that she is in fact the mother of Senator Organa Solo and her brother, Jedi Knight Luke Skywalker."

Another cut to the senate meeting, this time of Padme saying, "A Jedi who blessed me with a glorious marriage and two wonderful children. The Emperor took my husband away not just in body, but in soul - he altered him beyond any resemblance to his previous self."

The reporter's speedy voice came again. "She continued to defend her husband during the interviews she received after the meeting. She also had this to say about why she wishes to bring her children to Naboo with her."

Cut to another interview where Padme's confident voice said, "I want my children to experience a piece of their heritage for both personal and moral reasons. Obviously, I want them to see the place where I grew up, but from a larger perspective, I know they are powerful allies for my cause. Since Luke, Leia, and Han were such prominent figures in the Rebellion, their voices could help me to speak louder."

"What will become of this spontaneous and unusual mission?" the reporter concluded. "Only time will tell. Now, in other news..."

The end of the news bulletin freed everyone to look back at Lando, who now looked like he had lost his ability to blink. He stared at Padme with eyeballs that appeared almost inhumanly large.

"Whoa..." he said after a few moments.

"Uh, I would've told you earlier," said Han, "but, ya know, it ain't exactly the easiest thing to let out."

"Not to mention that you might have let it out around the sabacc table," Leia muttered.

Lando didn't acknowledge either of their statements, rather, he continued to stare at Padme.

"Is your friend always this quiet?" Padme asked to no one in particular.

"Only when he receives shocking news," said Luke.

Luke's statement seemed to wake Lando up from his trance, since his mouth gradually turned into a smile. "Well well, guess that means you're available." He lightly touched Padme's hand. "Well Han, how about it? How'd ya like to call me Dad?"

"LANDO!" Han, Luke, and Leia shouted at the same time, while Chewie growled a word that had no specific translation in Basic but was a rather taboo insult in the Wookiee language.

Padme shoved Lando's hand aside with a grin. "Sorry, but I think I'm a bit too old for you."

"Hey guys, don't worry," said Lando. "Can't you tell when a guy's joking?"

Han rolled his eyes. "When it's you, it's hard to tell." He faced his mother-in-law. "Sorry bout him, Mom. Though he keeps wantin' to act the part, he ain't exactly what you'd call upper-class."

Lando snickered loudly. "Han, did I just hear you call her 'Mom'?"

Han rolled his eyes at the gambler again. "Well as I recall, you just said you wanted me to call you Dad."

"Like I said, can't you tell when a guy's joking?"

Leia seemed to think this was a great time to change the subject for everyone. "All right," she said in a loud voice, "who wants dessert?"

The following vote was unanimously in favor.

-------------------------------------------------

That night, Padme stood on the Solos' balcony in her robe, gazing up at the infinite stars, trying to see if she could pick out which one was Naboo's sun. Of course, many stars were invisible from Coruscant due to the planet's heavy lighting, but she liked to think that she could see her planet's sun from here. She squinted at the sky, as though willing one of the stars to jump out at her and announce that it was the one she was looking for.

"Mother, what are you doing?" Leia's voice said.

Padme turned to find the twins and Han walking onto the balcony, also in their robes. "I was seeing if I could identify Naboo's sun from here," she said with a smile.

Luke leaned on the balcony next to her. "Did you find it?"

Padme pointed up to the area of the sky in the left-hand section of her vision. "I think it's somewhere over here."

"You sure?" said Han.

"Not at all," said Padme, her neck beginning to hurt from looking up. "Maybe you can't even see it from here."

Han came up to the rail on her other side. "Say, speakin' of which, do you have any idea where we'll be stayin'? If not, the Falcon's got some luxury bunks."

"Only according to you," scoffed Leia.

Padme turned her head away from the sky, making her stiff neck feel like it had been bent out of shape. "Hopefully the Falcon won't be necessary," she said. "After the meeting, I made arrangements through Mon Mothma for where we'll be staying."

"Where?" asked Leia.

Padme smiled. "I'll tell you...after I show you guys a little surprise."

She led them back into the living room, where 3PO stood motionless in a corner, shut down for the night, but R2's lights were still on.

"Hello R2," she said.

R2 beeped a greeting.

"R2, you have recording 398, right?" she asked with far more confidence than she had when she asked about her wedding recording many months ago.

R2 beeped a positive-sounding response, after which Padme gestured for her children to gather around the droid. "This is a recording Anakin and I made while we were staying with my family on Naboo during our refuge from the assassination attempts on my life. I was waiting for the right time to show you this, which appears to be now." She breathed deeply. "R2, play recording 398."

R2's light shone forward, soon projecting two life-size holograms of Padme and Anakin, looking similar to the way they had at their wedding.

"Hi Obi-Wan," the Anakin hologram said in a high voice as he waved. "Padme and I are doing fine. We're staying with her family and having a great time."

"I hope to be able to return soon," said the Padme hologram. "In the meantime, we thought you might like to see my family."

"Look," the real Padme breathed as R2 projected the hologram of a woman of around thirty with her black hair done in a simple yet fancy style. "There's you're aunt, Sola."

She then heard Leia making a feeble attempt to scrunch down a snicker, followed by Han saying, "All right, anyone who makes any Sola/Solo jokes will become the subject of juicy gossip around the sabacc table, got that?"

"Leia, don't forget, now it's your last name too," Padme reminded as the hologram of her older sister began to speak.

"Hi," she said, waving timidly. "I don't really know what I'm supposed to say, but I'm Sola - Padme is my kid sister. We've been happy to have her home again, though I suspect the reason why she's here might not be pleasant."

Padme felt her heart lurch to hear her sister's voice. How much she must have suffered when she believed her "kid sister" to be dead. Although the hologram was smiling, in her head Padme saw a vivid picture of Sola sobbing in the grief known only to those who have lost a younger family member, having seen both the beginnings and the ends of their lives. She wished she could talk to the hologram and tell her sister that she was all right.

Juvenile voices could now be heard in the background of the recording, calling out, "Where's R2? Mama, I wanna play with R2!" which caused the Sola hologram to turn its head to the side and say, "In a minute, dears."

"Here come your cousins," Padme whispered.

A pair of holographic young girls ran into the projection, one with straight brown hair that went past her shoulders and one with short curly brown hair.

"Ryoo," said Padme, pointing the one with long hair. She then moved her finger to the one with short hair. "Pooja." She swallowed, thinking of how much older they were now - they probably only had vague memories of her if anything. Of course, that was assuming they were alive...

"Do you two want to say anything to Aunt Padme's friend back on Coruscant?" Sola asked the girls, after which the children turned to the observer and began waving in the quick little motions characteristic of young children.

"Hi! Hi!" they repeated around eight times. After they grew tired of saying hello to Padme's friend, Ryoo ran up to R2 until only her head and shoulders were visible. "Come on R2, let's play!"

"Children, wait!" Sola's voice called, but to no avail - the recording now showed Padme's nieces running in and out of projection while giggling loudly. The sounds of their giggles soon mixed with the giggles of Han and the twins in the real word.

"Needless to say, the kids loved R2," Padme said, giving a bittersweet smile to the girls' holograms. Even if they were alive, that childish innocence was now gone from them. She found herself trying to picture them as adults, but finding that she couldn't.

The recording changed again, now showing a middle-aged man and woman standing side-by-side, the sight of which nearly robbed Padme of her voice.

"Your grandparents..." she whispered in a slightly-choking voice.

"Hello Jedi Kenobi," said the woman. "I'm Jobal Naberrie." She motioned to the man next to her. "This is my husband, Ruwee."

"Mom..." Padme silently mouthed as a tear formed in her eye.

"We just wanted to say thank you for taking care of our daughter," said Ruwee.

"Dad..." Padme mouthed as the tear streamed down her cheek.

"Yes," said Jobal. "I know, she is needed by the galaxy, but you know, we're her parents - we can't help worrying about her."

"I hope we can meet you sometime," said Ruwee. "Padme gives us nothing but praise about you." With that, the recording ended.

"_We're her parents - we can't help worrying about her."_ Her mother's words pushed more silent tears out of Padme's eyes. With her "death," she had given her parents the worst kind of emotional pain imaginable - the loss of their child. She gave a hard swallow as she brushed her cheeks with her hands. What had she done? She imagined her parents screaming in devastation, embracing each other in a vain attempt to draw comfort from each other as they cried for their daughter. Once that image entered her head, she felt like bestowing injury on herself as punishment for not trying to find her family the instant she was unfrozen and keeping them in this suffering.

"Mother, are you all right?" she heard Luke's voice say.

Padme breathed heavily as she turned around to face her concerned children. "I'm fine," she said in a high voice as she swallowed her tears. "I'm fine. That recording just brings back memories." She inhaled deeply to gain her composure before continuing. "Anyway, what did you think?"

Warm smiles gradually appeared on Luke, Leia, and Han's faces. "Thank you for showing us that, Mother," said Leia, to which the other two nodded in agreement.

"You're welcome," said Padme, breathing again.

"Hey, I enjoyed it and all," said Han, "but what does it have to do with where we're stayin'?"

Padme found herself able to smile at her son-in-law. "Well, when Mon Mothma gave me the address of the house that would be accepting the ambassadors..." Her smile expanded its width. "...it was the same house where Anakin and I stayed, the place where I used to live."

The other three made noises of excitement, which drove Padme to raise her hands. "Now, don't get your hopes up," she said, probably instructing herself more than anyone else. "I don't know who lives there now. Still...there's a possibility."

For one reason or another, she felt a need to walk up to her children and gather the three of them in her arms, squeezing them in a tight embrace which reassured her that even if her old family was gone, she still had her new one.

"When we get to Naboo, I want to show you everything from my childhood that still exists," she said dreamily. "The lakes...the gardens...the waterfalls..."

"I assume this is between our political affairs, right?" said Leia.

Padme pulled out of the embrace. "Of course."

"By the way, is there any protocol I should know about," said Leia.

"Not much beyond the normal political protocol," replied Padme. "Of course, you should present your arguments calmly, and proper speech is required." She eyed Han slyly. "That goes for you, too. Would you like some lessons on how to pronounce your G's?"

Luke and Leia burst into laughter as Han rolled his eyes. "Ha ha, very funny," he said with a sneer.

"All right, you can keep the accent, but no 'ain'ts,'" said Padme.

"Hey, I probably _ain't_ gonna be talkin' to them anyway," said Han.

"Well just in case you do, I want you to be prepare to speak properly to them," Padme said with a grin.

A long yawn coming from Luke's lips interrupted his laughter. "Well, I don't know about the rest of you, but I think it's time for bed."

"I agree," said Leia, touching her stomach. "These kids need their rest."

Padme hugged her son again. "Good night, Luke," she said. "Dream of our mission succeeding."

"Good night, Mother," replied Luke.

Han gave his own yawn. "Well, night kid. Good luck on the sofa. Trust me, you're gonna need it."

That statement let all four of them end the day with a good laugh.

AN: My apologies to those of you who were expecting us to go to Naboo in this chapter. I wanted to have a little fun before we got to more high emotion, plus I figured that Lando should play a bit part in this fic. Also, several reviewers have asked for another R2 recording and I thought this was a good place to put it. Don't worry - we'll be going to Naboo in the next chapter (boy, do I have a thing about teasing my readers or what?).


	26. Chapter 26

"My Mother"

By EsmeAmelia

AN: Hey all, thanks for reviewing, as always. Happy Independece Day to those of you who are American. (wipes brows) Whew, I had a lot of info to get through in this chapter. Hopefully it's still interesting.

Chapter 26

Padme's throat seemed to drop into her stomach when the Millennium Falcon emerged out of hyperspace above the small blue-green sphere that she knew so well, growing larger by the second. She stared ahead, eyes unmoving, as if the sphere had tranced her into semiconsciousness.

"Well this is the place, right Mom?" asked Han.

Padme felt her eyes drying from a lack of blinks. "Yes Han..." she managed to say.

"We land near the lake country on the side closest to the capital city of Theed, right?" said Leia.

Padme nodded, taking a two-second blink to moisten her eyes, but still seeing her planet beneath her eyelids. A word was shouting in her head: a word forever one with the planet of Naboo, a word that caused both anticipation and fear.

_Home._

_-----------------------------_

A heavy rainstorm greeted the Falcon when it landed on Naboo. The group descended the ramp wearing thick hooded raincoats. They resembled a bunch of monks as they walked into the storm, carrying their large bags.

The rain forced Padme to keep her head down, which was rather disappointing, since her eyes were now unable to take in the full image she had been longing to see. Even more disappointing was the thought that her children's first look at Naboo had to be through the thick gray curtain of rain. Her eyes focused downward at the cobbled streets flooded with puddles that at times resembled small rivers.

"You still know the way to where we're going, right Mother?" said Luke.

"Yes," Padme said, hoping she sounded more confident than she felt. Whenever she was able to look up, she could only get glimpses since the stinging raindrops would land in her eyes and blur her vision, but those glimpses tightened her insides. Buildings that had once been flourishing with life appeared to now be empty and abandoned, bearing holes in their roofs or doors ripped out. Spots where she remembered gorgeous trees standing now showed only stumps. Worst of all was the sight of people huddling in corners, scrunched up into balls, as though that would protect them from the rain. This sight occurred so often that Padme almost wondered if there was anyone left on Naboo that still had a home.

She soon found that her raincoat wasn't doing a very good job of protecting her from the storm. Icy drops were landing on her face every second, trickling down her neck and underneath her clothes. Her feet sloshed through ankle-deep puddles which soon soaked through her socks and chilled her skin. The rumble of thunder combined with the irritating sound of rain pattering on her hood gave off a feeling of a forbidden world: a place that no longer wanted her.

"Excuse me, can you spare some money?"

Her head glanced up to find that she was looking at a young woman in well-worn clothing and hole-filled shoes hesitantly stretching out her hand. "Of course," Padme said, reaching into her pocket and pulling out a bill worth ten New Republic credits.

The woman's face lit up briefly when Padme handed her the money, but it went back to sorrow when she unfolded the bill and looked at it.

"I'm sorry...but that kind of money is no good here," she said softly. She started to hand it back to Padme, but Padme pressed the bill back into the woman's hand.

"I'm an ambassador for the New Republic," Padme said. "I'm here to negotiate with this planet, so that money will hopefully soon be good here again. Keep it."

The woman gave a small smile. "Thank you. I hope you succeed." Then she disappeared back into the storm.

That woman stayed inside Padme's mind as she continued to lead the group through the cold, wet streets. She served as a reminder of why they were here, what would hopefully come of this mission.

She led the family for an uncertain amount of time, her body yearning more and more for dryness, her arm feeling weighted down by her bag, and her mind beginning to doubt that she still knew her way around.

"Miss Padme, are you quite certain you know where we're going?" 3PO asked after a while. "I don't mean to complain, but if I have to go much longer in this weather my joints will begin to rust."

R2 beeped in agreement.

"We're almost there," Padme said, finding that she was actually able to say it with a bit of confidence. Although the rain was still hindering her vision, she found that she was beginning to truly recognize the path they went down. She started moving faster, not bothering to look back to see if the others were keeping up with her, not caring if running through the puddles was soaking her pants. Yes...yes...this was the path...the path that would lead them there...

She practically flew down the path, barely able to stop herself in front of the door's high steps. The flowers that once grew by the door were gone, but she still felt her heart rush at the sight of the building she knew so well.

"We're here," she breathed.

For a few moments the group simply stared up the steps at the door, as though each individual was determined that he or she would not be the one to make the first move, as though the door concealed some great secret that would change the world forever.

"Leia, I think you should be the one to go first," Padme finally said.

"Shouldn't it be you?" replied Leia, although the pregnant woman looked desperate to get out of the rain.

"It will be better if it's you," Padme said, attempting to be firm. "See...if my family is still living there...I want to surprise them."

Leia nodded, rain dripping off her chin. "All right." She walked up the steps to the door and knocked, after which Padme pulled her hood as far down over her face as it would go and drifted to the back of the group.

Padme held her breath as the door slid open, revealing a woman...a woman who looked oh-so-familiar. Her face now wore the lines of middle age, her dark hair was now decorated with gray streaks, but there was no doubt in Padme's mind as to who the woman was.

_Sola._

She wanted to run up to her sister and smother her in hugs, but she restrained herself. She would need to wait a bit - reveal herself gently. A small smile broke onto her face as she gave soft rhythmic breaths. Here was Sola. Alive. Here. At least one member of her family was all right and could be given the news that she wasn't dead.

"Hello," Leia said in a formal voice. "We are ambassadors from the New Republic and we have been told that this is the place that will house us while we are here."

"Oh yes, yes," Sola said eagerly, her voice sounding the same as it had long ago. "Come in, all of you. This isn't the kind of weather to be standing around in." She moved to the side to allow Leia, Luke, Han, Chewie, the droids, and Padme in. Padme buried herself in the crowd, her hood still down, still waiting for the moment.

"I'm sorry, but I don't have your names," Sola said once they were inside and had put down their bags. "I was only told that I would be receiving two ambassadors, both human females, accompanied by two human males, one Wookiee, and two droids."

"We thought it would be best to protect ourselves by not giving our names until we arrived," Leia said as she removed her hood. "I'm Leia Organa Solo, senator in the New Republic."

"And the Princess of Alderaan and one of the most important figures in the Rebellion," Sola added. "Yes, I've heard your story - most of us have. Around here, it's usually told in an unfavorable light, I'm afraid." Her voice carried a little waver. "But ever since Darth Vader killed my younger sister while doing the bidding of the Emperor, I've known where I stand."

Padme's nerves were dancing as she slowly moved past the others. She walked stiffly, as if she were sleepwalking, her eyes fixed on her sister who still believed her dead.

"Anyway, who is the other ambassador?" Sola was asking when Padme reached the front of the group, struggling to keep herself from throwing her arms around her. She carefully reached up to the edge of her hood, further drenching her already-wet fingers as she grabbed it, but barely noticing the moisture. As her heart raced frantically, she gracefully pulled her hood back, revealing her face to her sister.

Once she saw Padme's face, Sola almost seemed to turn into a statue. Her eyes bulged and her jaw dropped much like how Mon Mothma had reacted to seeing Padme, remaining in that position for a lingering moment. Her breath became increasingly audible, soon sounding like she was drowning and struggling for air.

"P-P...P-P-P...P-P-Padme?" she whispered, starting to stumble backward, but stopping herself. Once she had gained control of her body, her hand slowly and hesitantly reached out to touch her younger sister's wet cheek, as if she needed confirmation that she wasn't seeing a ghost. Padme's heart swelled as she felt her sister's warm fingers repeatedly running down her cheek.

"Padme?" she whispered again.

Padme gave a careful smile. "Hello sister," she said.

The sound of her sister's voice triggered Sola's reflexes and full emotions. "Padme!" she screamed, throwing her arms around her sister, not caring how drenched she was. "Padme! Padme!"

Padme wrapped her arms around her sister and squeezed her tightly, running her hands across her back. "I'm here Sola...I'm here..." She felt tears emitting from her eyes and streaming down her cheeks, warming her cold skin. Floods of memories poured into her head: memories of their childhood games, their conversations, their secrets, their fights.

"Padme...Padme...Padme..." Sola repeated through sobs of happiness.

A glorious eternity seemed to pass before Sola pulled out of the embrace to get a good look at her sister. "However did you...I mean, Vader...and...all this time...and you haven't aged a day..."

"I'll explain all of that soon," Padme said, patting Sola's back, "but you should meet the others first." She gestured towards Leia, Luke, Han, and Chewie, who now had their hoods back and, despite their wet faces from the rain, all showed unmistakable tears at the edges of their eyes.

"Oh yes...of course," Sola said, wiping her eyes. She turned to the others. "I'm sorry."

"Hey, that's all right," said Leia.

Padme squeezed her sister's arm. "I have more surprises for you." She gestured towards Leia. "This is your niece, Leia - you met her already..." She gestured towards Luke. "...and this is your nephew, Luke Skywalker..." She gestured towards Han. "...and your nephew-in-law, Han Solo..." She made a final gesture towards Chewie. "...and his copilot, Chewbacca."

Pleased to meet you, Sola, Chewie growled.

Sola's eyes bulged again. "Niece...nephew? So they're your...?"

"I was pregnant when you thought I died," said Padme. "I couldn't tell you because it had to be kept a secret at least until the babies were born."

For a moment Sola simply stared, attempting to digest all that had happened in the last few minutes. Padme understood her sister's hesitance - after all, in such a short time, she had discovered that not only was her long-believed-dead sister alive, but that the famous leaders of the Rebel Alliance were her relatives. Then another thought occurred to her - one that brought the nervous wings back to her stomach. Sola had heard the story of the Rebellion...but how much? Did she know...the part about Luke and Leia's origin?

Luke was the first to step out of the group and offer his real hand to Sola. "Hello, Aunt Sola..." he said with a warm smile.

Sola seemed to be in a daze when she took Luke's hand, but she still managed a small smile. "Hello...nephew," she said in a near-whisper. She ran her thumb up and down Luke's palm as she gave short breaths.

Not realizing that this was not the best time to introduce himself, 3PO hobbled up to Sola and offered his hand. "Good evening, Miss Sola, I am C-3PO, human-cyborg relations. I am fluent in over six-million forms of communication."

Sola smiled awkwardly at him. "Er...hello."

R2 beeped angrily from behind the crowd.

"Well R2, it appeared that Master Luke was having difficulty with his aunt," 3PO said. "I was merely trying to help."

At the sound of R2, Sola's smile lost its awkwardness and extended its length. "You still have R2?"

"Yes," said Padme. "Luke owns him now."

R2 rolled up to Sola, beeping a greeting. "I remember you," Sola said, bending over to his level. "You're a family heirloom, aren't you?" She rose and turned back to Leia. "I...never realized I was related to the heroes of the Rebellion."

Leia took her aunt's hand, loosely, as though wanting to be gradual. "I hope you will soon think of me as a niece more than a hero."

"Hey," said Han, "am I the only one who thinks getting acquainted can wait until we're a bit drier?"

Han's words pulled Sola back into her duty as a hostess. "Oh...of course. I'll show you to the refreshers. Once you've showered and changed your clothes, we'll have plenty of time to talk. Oh, and I only have three refreshers, so you'll have to work out..."

"Pregnant women first," Leia said hastily.

"And in-laws last, I suppose?" Han said with a sneer.

"You three can go first," Padme said quickly. "My sister and I have a lot of catching up to do."

----------------------------

After Sola showed Luke, Leia, and Han to the refreshers and fetched a towel for Chewie, she eagerly rejoined her sister. She listened intensely as Padme told the story of her carbon freezing and eventual rescue, occasionally gripping her sister's hand, as if offering belated comfort to alleviate her suffering. At times she appeared uncomfortable when Padme talked about her husband, but never shocked. It took a few minutes after she was finished for Padme to ask what her sister knew.

Sola lowered her eyes. "I was able to figure it out when you introduced them to me," she said softly. "I've...heard rumors that Darth Vader had once been Anakin Skywalker." A sad smile briefly crossed her lips. "That nice man you brought home...how could he have become..."

Padme placed her hand on her sister's shoulder. "He didn't stay that way. The person he once was triumphed in the end."

Sola brushed Padme's cheek with her hand. "Maybe I'll finally be able to believe that after seeing you alive."

Padme swallowed as she wrapped her arms around her sister. Here was one member of her family...but where were the others? Did she have the courage to ask right now, or did she simply want to enjoy finding her one family member for a little while longer?

Once she pulled out of the embrace and looked at her sister's eyes, she found her answer. "Sola...how are the girls?" she asked, her voice only betraying a bit of hesitance.

Sola gave a warm smile. "They're fine, both of them. Grown up now, of course."

"Do they...remember me?"

Sola squeezed Padme's shoulder. "I haven't let them forget." Her smiling mouth now showed her teeth. "Ryoo's married now, and she just had a baby - yes, I'm now a grandmother and you're a great-aunt."

Padme smiled back, her heart jumping with happiness. "Boy or girl?"

"Girl," said Sola, her breath coming out in small snickers, as if there was something about the baby she was eager to tell her sister.

"What's her name?" asked Padme.

Creases appeared at the edges of Sola's mouth from her wide smile. "Her name's...Padme. Ryoo wanted to honor her aunt."

"You're kidding," said Padme, nearly laughing.

"No, not at all," said Sola. "I'll invite them over soon and you can meet little Padme."

Little Padme. Padme couldn't help giggling at the thought. Instead of grieving her niece's childhood, she was anticipating the moment when she could meet the grown up Ryoo and her little daughter.

"In case you haven't noticed, you'll soon be a great-aunt, too," she said. "Leia's in her sixth month with twins."

"I noticed," said Sola. "But I'm still getting used to being just an aunt."

"That's how it was for me - from my point of view I had only just become a mother when I found out I would soon be a grandmother."

Sola looked down and shook her head. "You're alive..." she murmured, seemingly almost to herself. "You're really alive..." She looked back up. "I'm sorry, it's just that..."

"I understand," said Padme. She ran a finger down her sister's cheek. "Anyway, how is Pooja doing?"

Sola's smile returned. "She's gone into politics. Now she's a member of the queen's advisory board."

Padme's heart felt levitated out of her body. "Maybe she could help us with our cause."

One of Sola's eyebrows rose. "Perhaps..." she said, sounding like her sister's last statement didn't have much validity. "She didn't like the Empire, but she's also loyal to her queen. But there's always hope."

The sisters walked in silence for a few moments, soon entering the dining room where Anakin had dined with the family so many years ago. Padme ran her hand across the smooth surface of that same table that had hosted countless family dinners, conversations, parties. The table seemed to be injecting memories into her palm, shooting them up into her mind.

"Remember my eighth birthday?" she said with a dreamy sigh. "When you and I got into a fight about who had more cake?"

"Mmm-hmm," said Sola. "And remember how Mom ended up taking the cake away until we promised to stop?"

"Yes," Padme said softly, hushed by the mention of their mother, the final question dizzying her mind. If Sola was living here...where were her parents? The horribly logical answer was pressing at her, stilling her tongue, pushing her head down to stare at the table.

"Padme?" Sola's voice asked. "Are you all right?"

Padme forced her head back up and swallowed hard. "Sola..." she said in an almost inaudible voice, "...where are Mom and Dad?"

Sola's head lowered, confirming the fears within Padme's mind, stilling her body. The few seconds it took Sola to speak seemed to extend to hours.

"They're dead..." Sola whispered.

Dead. Her parents were dead - there was now no chance at all to comfort their loss. No shock came to Padme's mind - it was almost as if she had been subconsciously expecting those words all along, but that did nothing to alleviate the knives that stabbed her heart. The hand on the table began trembling, sliding against the hardness. Her ears suddenly became aware of the sound of thunder coming from outside, its horrific claps seeming to shout to Padme that her parents were gone.

She felt her sister gathering her in a hug, but she didn't have the strength to hug her back. The emptiness she had felt after learning of Anakin's death was back. She swallowed dryness as her sister gently rocked her back and forth like a baby.

"When did it happen?" she finally whispered.

"Years ago," said Sola. "They joined the Rebel Alliance shortly after it was formed...I might have joined too if I hadn't had to raise the girls." She stifled a sob. "The Empire executed them as traitors."

Padme closed her eyes, resting her head on Sola's shoulder, the images of her parents vividly appearing in her mind.

"_Joining with the Force and still retaining your identity is something not all have achieved." _

The words given to her by Obi-Wan's ghost on Endor caused her body to shake slightly. Unless something had happened in the last five months, her parents were now only conscious entities without form, without memory, without identity. Her clammy hands gripped Sola's waist as small tears poured out of her eyes.

_Ani,_ she thought,_ you'll bring them back, right?_ She scrunched her eyes tighter, as if that would establish communication with Anakin's spirit. Her attention reflexibly went to her ears, as if she were listening for an answer from her husband.

No answer came.

------------------------------

Later, once everyone had showered and changed into their nightclothes, they gathered around the fireplace, bundled up in their robes and blankets. Sola had fixed some hot Noobian tea, which was greatly appreciated by the guests. They were seated on the floor in a semicircle around the fire, their bare feet absorbing the warmth of the flames. With the chaotic sounds of thunder and rapid rain outside, the small circle of light felt like a sanctuary, protecting the group from the harshness in the world around them.

Sola told the younger people about what had happened to the rest of the family, which brought smiles when they heard about their cousins and lowered heads when they heard about their grandparents. To Padme, their reaction seemed muted, almost insincere, lacking any real grief. She had to remind herself that they had never known Jobal and Ruwee, so they could not feel their deaths with the same intensity as she was.

"Killed by the Empire..." Leia murmured, her eyebrows down, her hands clutching the neck of her robe. "And yet this planet still wants to believe in its principles?"

Sola sighed. "For many, it's not principles so much as finances."

"Finances?" asked Luke, his wide eyes reflecting the fire's glow.

Sola stretched out her legs to better warm her feet, her soles brushing against her nephew's. "Back in the days of the Empire, Naboo was provided for. Now the planet is heavily in debt. Such a small world as ours isn't used to living without external support."

"But they would receive external support if they would join the New Republic," said Leia.

Sola sighed again. "For our leaders, that's like joining the enemy. They hold firm to their beliefs that the Rebel Alliance and the New Republic that came from it is responsible for our planet's situation."

"Sounds more like just bein' stubborn to me," said Han. "If they'd really rather let their people starve to death than join the New Republic..."

"Han, please," said Leia, elbowing her husband's arm. "You're one to talk about being stubborn."

Sola slid her foot over to gently kick Han's foot. "From Queen Rianna's point of view, the New Republic is the reason why the people are starving. Since this was the birthplace of the Emperor, many organizations now refuse to do business with us, and the few that will seem to result in more debt than gain. Taxation has increased dramatically in order to pay off our ever-growing debts." She touched Padme's shoulder. "I'm afraid negotiating with her will be very difficult."

Padme took a long sip of her tea to calm her nerves. Her mind was flying through different approaches to the queen. She had always expected that it wouldn't be easy, but now that she had heard her sister's story, she was getting a real picture of what she was facing. She was facing a planet in a desperate situation with a leader who equated joining the New Republic with surrendering to the evils that had brought them into that situation.

Leia's eyes were staring down into her cup, appearing deep in thought. "So...the Rebel Alliance is to her what the Empire is to us," she said.

"Pretty much so," said Sola.

All were hushed after that. They stared into the dancing flames, wondering what was awaiting them in the palace tomorrow.

After a few minutes, Sola cleared her throat to break the trance. "Anyway, Padme, you and Leia will be sleeping in your old bedroom. Luke, Han, Chewie, you'll be sleeping in what used to be our parents' bedroom. After I moved back here I had those rooms made into guest rooms." She looked over at Leia and Han, snuggled against each other. "I'm sorry, but I didn't know there would be a married couple, so I arranged the rooms by gender - is that all right?"

Han and Leia looked at each other before giving their answers.

"It's fine," said Leia.

"Yeah," said Han. He grinned briefly. "I guess I can do without Leia's late-night pregnancy cravings for a few days."

Leia pushed her body against her husband, giving him a playful shove. "Just for that, I'm coming to your bedroom when I get one."

"Well Princess, don't forget, our room's got Chewie to kick you out!"

Who says I'd kick her out? growled Chewie. _You_ would be the one who deserved to be kicked out for not taking care of your expectant wife!

Han glared at the Wookiee as the other three started laughing.

"Do your daughter and her husband always act like this?" Sola asked to Padme.

"That's a minor debate compared to how they usually act," said Padme.

Han shifted his focus from Chewie to Sola. "By the way, I do get a bed, right? Not a sofa?"

"Uh...of course," Sola said before giving a confused look to her sister.

"Long story," said Padme.

-------------------------------------

Hours passed. Luke, Leia, Han and Chewie had gone to bed, the droids had shut down for the night, but Sola and Padme opted to stay up late, reminiscing, laughing, filling each other in on things that had happened during their time apart. Politics and conflicting worlds never entered their discussion during this time - rather, they were focused on their own lives as individuals and as sisters. Padme soon felt that even if her entire mission turned out to be a failure, finding her sister again would make it completely worth it.

After a while, their voices faded away - now they were simply sitting, enjoying each other's bodies in a comfortable silence as the fire continued its hypnotic dance in the darkness. Sola had her arm wrapped around Padme's back as Padme rested her head on her sister's shoulder, her eyes half-closed, listening to the crackling of the fire and absorbing her sister's soothing touch.

She was almost asleep when she felt Sola grip her shoulder. "Hey...Padme," she whispered, "I know you're comfortable, but I don't really think you should fall asleep here."

"Mmmm...why not?" Padme murmured drowsily.

"Because I'll be stuck here all night then," Sola said playfully.

Padme forced her eyes to open. "Oh...all right." She pushed herself out of Sola's arms, gazing at her sister's glowing face. "Good night, Sola."

Sola kissed her sister's cheek. "Good night, my sister."

------------------------------------------------

Padme's rapid heartbeat returned when she entered her old bedroom. Apart from an extra bed, it looked exactly the same as it had many years back. Memories were once again filling her head, pulling the lump back into her throat.

She walked over to the only unfamiliar thing in the room: the extra bed, in which her daughter was sound asleep. Leia was on her back, one arm embracing the pillow and the other reaching down to her stomach, as if she had fallen asleep while feeling her babies. The sight brought to mind how Padme had wanted her children to be born on this planet.

Her head gradually moved up to face the numerous holos glowing on the wall, each of a time long gone, a time when she was oblivious to the future. She walked slowly over to a large family holo, showing herself, Jobal, Ruwee, and Sola, all smiling at the observer. Padme felt unworthy to see her parents smiling at her after she had caused them such a devastation from which there was now no redemption.

"Mom...Dad..." she found herself whispering, "...I know you probably can't hear me." She sighed longingly. "...You probably don't even know me anymore...or yourselves...but...Anakin and Obi-Wan and the others will help you."

Her parents' smiles wouldn't waver, eternally trapped in that moment.

Padme swallowed. "I wish you could be here...I wish you could meet your grandchildren..." Her voice betrayed a sob. "...And I wish you could see me. I'm...I'm sorry...I'm sorry for leaving you to suffer."

The faces in the holo started to blur from Padme's tears, but the smiles were pressed into her mind. They seemed to want to tell their daughter that they understood, that they were happy she was all right now and rooting for her in her mission.

She blinked rapidly as she made her way to her old bed. After a long inhale, a tiny smile broke on her face at the sight. Like a child trying out a hotel bed, she flew down onto the mattress, landing on her back, taking in the softness. The sensation of being in her own bed again gave her a full smile, bringing back the word, the word that was now engulfing her senses, telling her that she was finally there.

_Home._

AN: Just in case, I'm sorry if I was off at all in Sola's character. The only info I have on her personality is the deleted scenes on AOTC DVD, which don't tell much, so I'm kind of doing my own thing with her.

Btw, just a question to throw in, how many of you will kill me/stop reading/remove this story from your Favorites list if I include Jar Jar in this story? I haven't made any decisions, but it's something I've considered. I don't know how long Gungans live, but at the end of the ROTJ DVD you can hear a strangely Jar Jar-like voice shouting "Weesa free!" Just a thought.


	27. Chapter 27

"My Mother"

By EsmeAmelia

AN: Hidy-ho, everyone. Thanks to all who helped this story reach the 700 review milestone! Hmmm...maybe we can reach 1000 before it's over? Woo...I got a number of, er, "passionate" reviews regarding Jar Jar, everything from "I'd love to see him!" to "NOOOOO!" I think people talked more about Jar Jar than about the actual chapter - some reviews talked ONLY about Jar Jar. (Sorry, but I worked really hard on the previous chapter and I was really looking forward to reading people's comments on it...). Anyway, I still haven't decided whether or not to include him. I'm not sure if I could find a place for him, but realistically (like it or not), Padme would probably want to know what happened to him and I don't think I could pull off a "Jar Jar's dead" scene without getting a bunch of "WOOHOO! JAR JAR'S DEAD!" reviews. But rest assured that if I do include him (and I probably won't), he won't be a major character.

Okay, I'm done blabbing, on with the story.

Chapter 27

Padme was awake before her alarm went off. The room was still dark, but carrying the anticipating feel of early morning, awaiting the light. She spread her arms out on the mattress, taking in the feeling of her old bed, reassuring herself that it was real, that she was truly at her old home.

She slid out of bed, seeing that Leia was still asleep. Since her daughter was pregnant, Padme figured she could be the last to be awakened, so she tiptoed over to the wall and knelt down by her bag, pulling out the items she had smuggled from the Solos' closets back on Coruscant. A whispering laugh escaped her lips as she rose, clutching the items to her chest as she slipped out the door.

-----------------------------------------------

Like Padme's old bedroom, her parents' room still had the many holos decorating the walls, giving small illumination to the dark room. Upon entering, Padme was stilled by the sight of a holo showing her mother sitting up in a bed, wearing a smile containing happiness too extreme to be properly expressed by the face. Ruwee was leaning over one side of his wife, while a five-year-old Sola sat on the bed next to her mother's other side, both of whom had a hand touching the bundle Jobal tenderly held in her arms. Seeing herself as a newborn made Padme's eyes water again. She imagined her parents looking at that holo every night, mourning the baby they had brought into the world.

After blinking to clear her vision, she turned to look at the rest of the room. Her parents' large double bed was gone, now replaced by two single beds in which Luke and Han slept. Chewie was sleeping in a long cot in the corner, being too large for the beds. For a moment Padme's eyes dashed around the three, trying to decide who she should wake first, then settling on Luke, figuring that he could help calm down the other two after she woke them.

She quietly sat down on the edge of her son's bed, briefly admiring his peaceful face and listening to the slightly-snoring sleep breathing he'd inherited from his father. It seemed almost cruel to disturb him, but it was necessary, for she had something very special to share with him and the others. She gently placed her hand on his cheek.

"Luke," she said softly, gently pushing his face. "Luke, wake up."

Luke didn't respond or give any sort of sign that she had disturbed his unconsciousness.

Padme kneaded her fingers deeper into his skin. "Luke, come on," she said in a slightly louder voice.

Luke snorted and turned his head to the other side, but did not wake.

Padme thought she would never understand how someone who was Force-sensitive could be such a heavy sleeper. She finally decided to resort to harsher measures. With a rough motion, her hand grabbed Luke's shoulder and began shaking it back and forth.

"Luuuuuuuke!" she said in a sing-song voice. "It's time to get uuuuuuuuup! You'll be late for schooooooool!"

Luke grunted, his eyes finally starting to open. "Ooooh...Mother?" he said sleepily.

Padme smiled. "Come on, Luke."

"It's still dark..." Luke mumbled.

"Exactly," said Padme. She threw one of the items she had "stolen" from her son-in-law's closet onto Luke's face. "Here, put these on."

Luke fumbled to get himself out from under the clothing on his face, then began blinking hard when he saw what it was.

"Han's swimming trunks...?" he asked drowsily.

"His spare trunks, actually," said Padme. "Put them on. Don't worry - they're adjustable."

"Why?"

"You'll see," Padme said mischievously as she stood up and made her way to Han's bed. Her son-in-law had the covers pulled over his face, leaving only his eyelids and hair visible, giving muffled loud breaths from under the blankets. Padme figured there was no point in even trying a gentle approach with him.

She practically jumped onto the edge of Han's bed and began shaking him by the shoulder. "Han!" she said loudly. "Come on, get up. We're going on a family outing."

"Mmmm...five more minutes...Leia..." Han mumbled, his eyes remaining closed.

"Family outing?" Luke yawned, still making no attempt to sit up or move from the bed.

Family outing? Chewie growled sleepily from his cot.

Padme looked up to face the Wookiee. "Yes," she said. She rose from Han's bed and headed for Chewie's. "Do me a favor, will you? Wake up your cub and tell him to put these on." She tossed another pair of Han's swimming trunks at Chewie before turning for the door. "I want all three of you to meet me outside in ten minutes - I've got an incredible surprise for you." She laughed like a child as she exited.

----------------------------------

"Leia...Leia...LEIA!"

Leia kept her eyes closed, attempting to ignore her mother's voice and the grip she had on her shoulder, but finding that it was becoming increasingly difficult. Still, the soreness she was feeling in her back from the babies motivated her to continue pretending to be asleep.

"Leia, come on, I know you're awake."

Was Padme just saying that, or did she actually know that her daughter was awake? Leia knew it was probably the latter. Padme's maternal instincts seemed to more than make up for not being Force-sensitive.

"Leia, we're all going on a surprise outing and it's crucial that we start before sunrise."

With a groan, Leia finally complied to her mother's request, opening her eyes to a blurry silhouette of her mother against the backdrop of the dark room.

"Where're we going...?" Leia said through a yawn.

"I can't tell you, but here's a hint." Padme tossed Leia's swimsuit onto her face. "Put this on and meet us outside in ten minutes."

"We're swimming?" Leia asked tiredly as she pulled the suit off her face. "What...?"

But Padme had already left.

------------------------------------------

"Come on, come on, we're almost there," Padme said as she looked back on the group she was leading, who had been lagging behind quite a bit. Han, Leia, and Chewie still looked annoyed and tired, but Luke appeared anxious, almost worried. Padme gestured wildly for them to hurry up.

"First you wake us up this early, and now you expect us to be fast?" Han grumbled.

"You'll forgive me when we get there," said Padme, still gesturing. "Come on." She turned back around and resumed her swift pace. True, she too was feeling lightheaded from the small amount of sleep she'd gotten, but excitement kept her wide awake. Her nostrils savored the air with every breath. The rain from the night before had enhanced the natural fresh scent of the air: the mixture of the crisp scent of water and the sweet, nearly tangible scent of plant life.

She soon felt the ground yielding to her bare feet, bringing her soles the scratchy feel of sand, which caused her body to leap gracefully from step to step as the object of their destination came into her vision: the lake from her childhood retreats.

By now the sun had begun to creep slightly over the horizon, giving it layers of purple and dark red gradually fading over their heads into the part of the sky that remained the dark blue of nighttime. The sun's reflection glimmered in the water, giving off the feel of an enchanted atmosphere. Lines of purple, red, and yellow danced in and out of visibility on the forever-changing water surface, decorated by floating jewels of bright light that seemed almost alive.

"We're here..." Padme breathed.

The panting of the others stopped abruptly when they reached Padme's viewing point. She didn't need to look at them to know that they too had been drawn into the beautiful sight before them. _This_ was their official first look at Naboo, she decided. The world they had seen last night wasn't the _real _Naboo - it was a place that had been altered by Imperial control, but this part of Naboo's natural beauty remained untouched.

"A Noobian sunrise over the water..." Padme said after a few moments. "One of the most gorgeous things in the universe."

She felt Leia's hand slip into hers and looked to the side to see her daughter's awed face. Her mouth hung slightly open, emitting long breaths that communicated both joy and a hint of sadness.

"It's like Alderaan..." she whispered. Her fingers curled around her mother's. "Well no...not exactly like Alderaan...but it feels like it..."

"How?" Padme asked, gently rubbing her daughter's fingers.

Leia continued to stare forward, blinking rapidly. "When I was little, I used to get up early almost every morning to watch the sunrise on Alderaan. My...my room had a balcony that overlooked a dip between the mountains, which was always the first spot where you could see our sun." She sniffed slightly. "Alderaan's sun would slowly turn the mountains from black to purple to green while turning the sky every color you could think of. I used to think it was some kind of magic. This...this just reminded me of those times."

In all the months since the unfreezing, Padme had never heard Leia talk about Alderaan in such detail as this morning. Aside from the conversation they had on Endor the morning after Padme's encounter with Anakin, Leia rarely even mentioned Alderaan, yet alone shared specific memories about it, as if she had built a fortress around those memories to protect herself. Padme found herself smiling - perhaps this was another step for her daughter. The emotional damage Leia had suffered from losing her planet would probably never completely heal, but at least she was gradually moving on from it.

After giving her daughter a quick hug, Padme addressed the whole group. "It's not over yet," she announced. She began running down the beach towards the water, pointing her finger to a small island near the horizon. "We're swimming over there."

"Sw-sw-swimming?" Luke stuttered.

"You heard her, kid," said Han, racing down the sand, pulling Leia along with him, closely followed by Chewie.

"If you get tired, just let the waves carry you," instructed Padme, stepping into the area where the waves began to brush the shore. "And you'll get used to the water temperature very quickly."

The entire group began running into the water, accustoming themselves to the chill, laughing when a wave swept over their legs.

All except Luke.

The Jedi stood frozen in place at the water's edge as the others waded further and further in. He silently stared ahead, making no indication that he intended to move. Padme looked back at her son in amazement. Was he perhaps...afraid of water?

"Hey Luke!" Padme called over the sound of the waves. "Come on in!" She splashed the water in front of her to encourage him.

"Mother..." Luke called back, hesitantly, "...there's something I probably should have told you."

"What?" Padme said lightly, although she suspected she knew the answer.

"Mother, I...I can't swim!" shouted Luke, the sudden volume in his words indicating a struggle to get them out.

His words grabbed the attention of the other three as well - they all ceased their actions to turn back at Luke.

"Luke, it's all right, we can teach you," said Leia.

Luke paced from side to side before answering. "No...you go ahead, I'll wait for you."

"Hey kid, I didn't learn till I was nineteen - it's not too late for you," said Han. "Besides, if you're gonna wear my trunks, you're gonna use 'em."

Padme sprinted unevenly through the water back towards her son, feeling both sorry that he thought himself unable to enjoy their outing and exhilarated that she had an opportunity to teach him something. "Luke," she said gently when she reached him, "take my hand, I'll help you."

Luke continued to stare past his mother out at the water, trembling slightly. "I...I couldn't learn on Tatooine, obviously. I might have learned on Dagobah if I had gone through the training to completion...I'm not sure." His focus went to Padme's eyes. "Basically, my only experience with water was in the garbage crusher on the first Death Star." He gulped. "When I was pulled under, unable to breathe...or see...or do anything." He gulped again. "Then there was also the time when my X-Wing sank on Dagobah...the water swallowed it up so fast..."

Padme placed a hand on her son's shoulder. "I understand, Luke." She ran her hand down his arm, slightly dampening it. "But you know, Han's right, it's not too late for you to learn." Her hand moved up to his cheek. "If I had been around when you were little, this would have been where I taught you and Leia to swim." Her hand gracefully moved away from his skin and opened up to give an offering gesture. "What do you say to a belated lesson?"

Luke closed his eyes, probably calling on the Force to calm his fears.

"You've faced things far more dangerous than a swim, Luke," Padme coaxed. "Besides...your mother's here to take care of you."

Luke slowly opened his eyes as his hand eased its way to his mother's hand. "All right," he said softly.

Padme tightly gripped his hand as she led him into the water, where Leia, Han, and Chewie had resumed swimming and were now growing increasingly smaller with distance. She felt Luke's hand shake underneath her fingers, perhaps from the water's chill, but more likely from nervousness.

"You use your arms to push the water away from you," Padme instructed, using her free arm to demonstrate the motions of swimming. "Like this."

Luke slowly copied her motion with his free arm as the water crept over their waists.

"Yes," said Padme, releasing his hand. "Now when you're actually swimming, you'll want to use both arms, one over the other." She demonstrated the swimming motions with both her arms. "See, like this."

Luke copied her once again, his face looking like it was longing for his mother to take his hand back so she could protect him from the water.

As she continued giving her son instructions in the waist-deep water, Padme tried to hide her smiles. She was genuinely acting as a mother - not merely a friend or confidante, but a _mother, _giving her son the gift of a skill that could save his life.

The mother and son soon floated into the deep water together, Padme with an arm around Luke's back, prepared to catch him if he should begin to sink: a mother bird holding her baby under her wing until he gained the confidence to fly. As they swam together, Padme could see Luke was a fast learner, but his phobia of water was remaining, which was something even his Force senses couldn't eliminate completely.

_My son's life is in my hands_, she thought. If she let go of Luke, would he harness his newly-learned skill, or would fear overtake him and drown him? She didn't want to find out. The sudden awareness of her son's vulnerability made Padme swallow a bit of water. Being a mother required being a_ protector_ - something that until now had been denied to her. She had been a counselor, a storyteller, an encourager, a helping hand, but since she had awakened after her children were able to take care of themselves, never a protector. Being the guardian of her son's life in the water brought her both excitement and fear. The sensation she usually savored the most when she was swimming - the sensation of sheer _nothing_ underneath her feet - now made her focus on the grip she had on her son, realizing how easy it was to lose him to the nothing. He had the Force to protect him as well, of course, but he needed enough presence of mind to use it, which might not be available in a moment of drowning.

"Push, kick, push, kick," Padme said to distract herself, feeling her son's efforts to follow her instructions, hoping that this would be enough to save him if they were separated.

Luke was panting hard. "How's...how's this, Mother?"

Padme smiled at her son. "You're doing fine."

----------------------------------------------------

The warm Noobian sun had nearly completed its journey past the horizon when Padme felt sand under her feet once more. She gave heavy breaths as she and Luke waded towards the land, her muscles sore from supporting her son, but her euphoric mind barely noticing the pain. After a moment of catching her breath, she looked at her son, who appeared more exhausted than she was, but a wide smile was on his face.

"So how did you like that?" Padme asked.

"It's...it's like flying," Luke said between heaves. "Not flying in a starship or anything like that...like flying on your own."

Padme patted her son's shoulder. "Come on, the others are probably waiting for us."

Leia, Han, and Chewie were already sitting on the island's beach, allowing the emerging sun to dry them. They waved over at Padme and Luke upon seeing them.

"Hey kid," called Han. "So the mighty Jedi conquered the scary water after all?"

"Shut up," Luke said as he stepped out of the water.

"How did you do?" asked Leia.

"He did fine," said Padme, walking up to them. "Now I don't want anymore teasing him."

"Who do ya think you are, my mother?" Han said with a grin.

Meanwhile Luke was staring at the jungle-like wilderness beyond the beach. "Mother...where exactly is this?" he asked.

"I was kinda wonderin' that too," added Han.

Padme sprinted up to her son and motioned for the others to join them. "This is another piece of your heritage," she announced. "A taste of Naboo in its natural state, untouched by civilization." She paused for a dramatic moment, letting her children take in the sounds of mixed bird calls and distant waterfalls before she gestured again. "Come on, let's take a look."

--------------------------------------------------

"I came here so often during my childhood," Padme said as she led everyone through the dense wilderness. "I loved swimming here so much that Sola would tease me about it, saying I was half-Gungan."

"We'll be sure to tell her that you remember that," chided Leia, her hands cradling her stomach as she walked.

She'll probably say you're _still_ half-Gungan, Chewie teased.

Padme laughed as she made her way to a bush decorated with clusters of plump yellow berries that in turn were decorated with tiny gems of morning dew. "Look at this," she said as she plucked a handful of the berries. "These only grow on Naboo, try some."

She passed a berry to each member of the group before dropping one into her own mouth and savoring the tangy sweetness. The taste pulled her eyes closed for a glorious second where she could imagine herself back to her childhood, on a picnic with her family, or sneaking a berry before her mother put them all in a pie, or perhaps enjoying a the berries with her father as they tried to identify bird calls.

"They're _delicious!_" Leia exclaimed, driving her mother back to reality. She looked at her daughter to find her digging into the bush for more berries.

Han shot a glare at Padme. "If she comes to our bedroom tonight demandin' more of those berries, I'm blamin' you." He turned his focus to Luke. "And I'm sendin' you to get them."

"Sorry, you're on your own there," said Luke with a mocking grin. "I can't swim on my own yet, remember?"

"Then learn fast," said Han.

With a mouthful of berries, Leia gave a sputtering laugh which might have spread throughout the group if the deafening call of a flock of birds overhead hadn't distracted them.

"Look," Padme said, pointing upward at the hundreds of birds perched in the trees. Some were orange with long purple wings, while others were purple with long orange wings. All had scissorlike yellow tailfeathers hanging below the branches. Their song brought pleasure to the ear from its whistling tone, but also discomfort from its volume.

"Those are leeba birds," said Padme. "The official bird of Naboo." She shifted her weight from foot to foot as she spoke. "It's said that a flock perching overhead brings good luck."

"Let's hope it's true," said Leia. "We'll need a whole lot of luck when we see the queen today."

Han smirked. "If it ain't the Force, it's lucky birds. Will these miracles never cease?"

Padme laughed, but she was secretly pleased to see those birds above her. They seemed to be singing especially for her, cheering her on.

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The sun had risen completely, now turning the sky a pleasant shade of light blue, and the family was back on the island's beach. Han was lying on his stomach, sunning himself. Leia was sitting in the shallow part of the water, letting the waves massage her. Chewie and Luke were skipping stones a fair distance away from the expectant mother - Chewie constantly joking about how Luke was a lousy stone-skipper without using the Force to aid him.

Padme sat on a rock, sometimes glancing at the others, but mostly gazing out past the water at the mainland. The palace's domed roof towered over the city, triggering memories of her days as queen. Within hours, she would be standing in the palace once again, this time not as ruler of the planet or prestigious representative of the planet, but as an outsider, potentially even someone the queen might see as an enemy. Padme briefly considered exactly how sane this mission was. Perhaps all who had been contradicting her were right, and she really would no longer have any influence here - the only true reason she was here was to fill her own emotional needs. Maybe this would end up being only a nostalgia trip and nothing more. Then faces entered her head. The faces of the people in the streets the night before, forced out of their homes from heavy taxation which had resulted from the Empire's remnants. The face of the woman who had asked for money, the one she had been unable to help because her money wasn't accepted here. The faces of her parents, whose lives had ended at the hands of the Empire. No...no, she _wasn't_ here only for herself.

"This really is the bright center of the universe, isn't it?" Luke's happy voice said.

Padme found that she couldn't turn to look at her son - the palace was holding her head still.

"Yes..." she said after a moment, "...yes, it is."

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When the group returned to Padme's old house, Sola greeted Padme with a hug as tight as their first hug the night before had been, even though Padme had left a message for her sister that explained where they were going.

"Sorry," Sola said when they pulled out. "I'm just still getting used to it...I mean, this morning I was briefly worried that I had dreamed it all."

"Understandable," Padme said with a smile.

"I've got breakfast all ready for you," said Sola. "Oh, and Mon Mothma contacted me while you were gone."

"What did she say?"

"She basically just wanted to make sure that you had gotten here safely," said Sola, leading her sister into the dining room. "She also told me that the queen has been informed of everything."

"Including my survival?" Padme asked as she sat down.

"I would assume so."

Padme breathed an unexpected sigh of relief. That meant one less thing she would have to explain to the queen.

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Padme felt dazed as she walked down the steps in front of the house, slowly so as not to step on her red skirt. Her hair was arranged elaborately in two buns above her ears, which felt unusually heavy, almost like she was in danger of her hair pulling her down. She kept her eyes focused on Leia at the bottom of the steps, accompanied by Luke, Han, and Chewie. The men looked like they still didn't know exactly why they were going to the palace with the ambassadors, but the women had made it clear that they wanted no argument coming from them, even if they were only coming to provide moral support.

Once she finally made it to the bottom of the steps, she turned to look back up at Sola, who was standing next to the door.

"I'll com Ryoo and see if she and her family can come here when you get back," Sola said. "You may see Pooja at the palace."

"I hope so," said Padme. The idea that she might see her grown up nieces today excited her, but not enough to stop her nerves from shaking. She was starting down a path with an unknown amount of difficulties blocking the way to the destination.

She calmed a bit when she saw Sola waving from the top of the steps, her smile saying that she believed that her sister would succeed.

"May the Force be with you, sister," she said.


	28. Chapter 28

"My Mother"

By EsmeAmelia

AN: Thanks to everyone who reviewed, as always!

Chapter 28

Stepping into the palace was like a journey back in time for the former queen. The sight of the majestic entrance hall and the sound of her footsteps echoing off the walls awakened sharp details from her days as queen: the weight of her crowns and hairstyles, the perspiration from her dresses, the coolness of her makeup. Her stance unconsciously became straighter, stiffer, more proper - the palace told her reflexes to assume her royal posture.

After the group had been searched for weapons (which stripped Han of his blaster, much to his dismay), they had been told to wait in the hall until they were called for, which probably meant they would be there for a while. Padme soon found herself pacing around the large fountain in the center of the hall, half-listening to the trickling water as her mind searched for the right approach to the queen. She went through rhetorical skills she had learned when she herself was a queen, thinking that perhaps her experience in the queen's position could be an advantage.

But then again, maybe it wouldn't. She had entered the position at an age when most people were only beginning to transition into adulthood, yearning to break away from their parents and yet at the same time nervous about what lay ahead for them. Fourteen years old...practically still a child, and yet trusted with the responsibility of caring for the planet. She remembered the naive excitement she had felt when she was first elected. Her intellect had been prepared for the responsibilities she would assume, but her teenage psyche had yet to realize exactly how much weight rested on a queen's shoulders. It wasn't until the blockade that the burden fully sank into her mind.

She wondered how old the current queen was. The thought that she might be kneeling to a fourteen-year-old didn't exactly appeal to her, but then again, she supposed that some of her own subjects might have resented being outranked by someone so much younger than they were.

"Ambassadors Amidala and Organa Solo," a mechanical, accented, female-sounding voice shouted, interrupting Padme's thoughts before she could come up with a strategy to beat the queen's arguments. She looked up to find a silver protocol droid standing at the top of the steps with an arm out to beckon the group to join her.

"Queen Rianna will see you now," the droid continued.

After looking nervously at each other, Padme and Leia began ascending up the stairs, followed by Luke, Han, and Chewie.

"Oh, I don't believe they are allowed in," the droid said when she saw the men. "The queen only told me to fetch the ambassadors."

"Well, did your queen say specifically that they _weren't_ allowed?" Leia said slyly. "Did she say 'Make sure that you fetch _only_ the ambassadors and no one else'?"

"Uh...I don't think so," the droid said in a confused voice.

"Then they're allowed," said Leia.

"Uh, I suppose they would be," said the droid. She turned to the side. "Come along, follow me."

As the group followed the droid, Padme flashed a grin at her daughter. "You have a way with droids," she said.

Leia grinned back. "Hey, when you're around 3PO as much as I am, you learn how to mess with their logic."

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The queen's throne room was a mirror.

A mirror that showed what one looked like thirty-six years ago.

That concept crept underneath Padme's skin like a parasite as she looked at the face of Queen Rianna. She felt that she was seeing herself of long ago. Rianna wore an elaborate green dress with a high collar that provided a wall behind her head, drawing attention to her face, which was painted with the same white makeup that Naboo's queens wore in the days of the old Republic, complete with the tiny red dots on her cheeks and the red stripe in the center of her lower lip. She wore a dome-shaped silver crown on her head, which was decorated with multiple thick spikes in an arch, resembling half of a sun. Silver chains hung from the crown and dangled around the her face, giving a regal air to her white face with the numerous braids of thick black hair encircling it. Her advisors sat in their own chairs in an arch around her, none of whom gave any noticeable movement, as if they were droids ordered to remain still until their mistress needed them.

It appeared that Naboo's tradition of electing young queens was still in effect - the woman before Padme looked no older than seventeen or eighteen, nowhere close to being old enough to remember the old Republic. Yet rather than cause Padme to feel awkward that she would be negotiating with someone much younger than herself, the sight of Queen Rianna carried out the opposite effect. Nearly by reflex, the ex-queen sank to her knees in reverence.

"Welcome, ambassadors," the queen said stiffly in a thickly accented voice. Padme wondered if the accent was genuine or fake, as her own had been. She discreetly waved her hand to signal to the others that they should kneel too, after which she heard the men's knees hit the floor rather loudly.

"Well, why aren't you kneeling as well?" Queen Rianna said to Leia. Padme glanced to the side to see that Leia was still standing with her head slightly bowed.

"Forgive me, Your Highness, but I am in my sixth month of carrying twin children - it is difficult for me to kneel," Leia replied in a voice as stiff as the queen's.

"Congratulations," said the queen.

"Thank you," said Leia.

Queen Rianna turned back to face the others. "You may rise."

Padme obeyed, but kept her head focusing downward - it was still difficult to look the queen in the eye. Glances at her face revealed narrowed eyes that almost appeared to be studying the ambassadors, especially Padme.

"The once Queen Amidala," Rianna said after a moment. "The one who saved our planet from the Trade Federation. You're still a revered hero here."

Padme's stomach skipped. She had been expecting to be met with contempt, not called a hero. "Your Highness," she said, finally gaining the courage to keep her head up, "I am grateful that my planet remembers me, but I am saddened by its current status. My daughter and I come here to offer you a way to pay your debts and once again receive the security and support of a large system. All we ask in return is that this planet join with the New Republic."

The queen sneered. "Do you happen to know the reason why we are close to bankruptcy?"

"Yes," said Padme. "I do realize that the war and the shift of government has taken a toll on some planets, but the New Republic aims to help, not to harm."

Rianna gave a short breath through her teeth, stifling a humorless laugh. "Well they have harmed us. I sympathize that you had the misfortune of not being around when Naboo's sovereignty was protected by the Empire, but as you were quite close to Palpatine, I hope that you will come to understand."

"I understand that Palpatine kept his home planet under his wing during his reign," Padme said firmly. "I hope you will come to understand that he supported you not out of compassion, but to ensure a firm grip on this planet."

The queen rose from her throne. "Just the sort of naive view I would expect from someone who was frozen for nearly his entire reign. The biased accounts of the Empire you have heard from your son and daughter have understandably twisted your mind."

"The Empire destroyed my planet!" Leia shouted angrily. "Palpatine's rule caused the deaths of millions of innocent lives."

Rianna appeared to give the slightest of trembles before speaking again. "Some of Palpatine's tactics were questionable, yes, but his rule kept the galaxy in balance." She stared at Padme. "You remember how he showed his skills for leadership during the Clone Wars. His Empire that followed ensured security and strength. It was only when the Rebellion grew strong enough to be a threat that he felt the need to resort to drastic measures."

"That's a lie!" said Leia. "The Death Star was under construction for nearly twenty years."

The queen shifted her focus to Leia. "And who told you this? Your Rebel adopted father, I suppose?"

Leia bared her teeth, looking like she was a few Palpatine-defending statements away from exploding. "And I suppose Palpatine's followers told you that he only began constructing the Death Star after he felt threatened?"

Rianna sat back in her throne, placing one hand on each of its arms to assume a royal stance. "The fate of your planet is regrettable, but the Death Star was never to be used often. It was mainly constructed as a display for the Rebels of what the Empire was capable of - a psychological weapon rather than a destructive one. It was Palpatine's theory that fear of the Death Star would end the war and prevent millions of further deaths. Of course, he didn't figure that you Rebels would find a way to destroy it twice."

"Now wait a sec," Han shouted from behind the ambassadors, "I dunno who you think you are or what kinda bizzaro stories Palpatine told you, but I know that destroying a peaceful planet like Alderaan ain't just a display of power or whatever you'd call it - it's blatant mass murder. If you really believe the Death Star wasn't planned to be used, you're even more delusional than I thought."

Chewie growled in agreement.

Padme cringed. No matter how much she agreed with her son-in-law's statement, his brash attitude was likely to make the queen angry at them instead of listen to them.

Rianna turned her piercing glare towards Han. "Han Solo, the loudmouthed Rebel who used to be a smuggler, am I correct."

Leia flew to her husband's defense. "He may be loudmouthed, but he's right."

Rianna gave a heavy sigh. "Let me assure you that I didn't _like_ the Death Star. I am merely saying that Palpatine had his reasons to build it." Her skinny eyebrows that were probably painted much blacker than their natural color twitched in discomfort.

Padme tried to steer the subject matter away from the Death Star. "Your Highness, I'm glad that we at least partially see eye to eye on the Death Star. Perhaps we will be able to reach an agreement that will benefit both of our parties."

"Yes," the queen said coldly. "You can leave this planet, and then our differences will be settled."

Padme gritted her teeth to calm herself. "Your Highness, the New Republic can save your planet from bankruptcy..."

"Only if we do as they say," the queen interrupted.

Padme felt that she was close to exploding herself. "Why do you think Palpatine provided for your planet? Because you did as _he_ said."

The queen glared at her with blazing green eyes. "Palpatine was a great leader. You claim to be offering us security, but your method of security is unreliable."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Leia said in a near-shout.

Rianna's glare now pointed at Leia. "Why did the old Republic fall apart? Because it was _unstable._"

How many lies had Palpatine told this woman? Padme wondered. "Now that is simply absurd. The Republic stood for a thousand years."

"Only because they didn't need to face any truly solid adversity," Rianna argued. "Once the Separatist movement began, the weaknesses of democracy began to show." She rose from her seat again. "Palpatine was dedicated to preserving the Republic, but he eventually saw that it was a futile effort. The rise of the Empire was necessary and inevitable."

"Your Highness," Padme said, focusing on not losing her temper, "I realize it may seem that way from your point of view, but whether you wish it or not, the Empire is dead. This planet has undoubtedly been shaken by the abrupt removal of their support. You may harbor hatred for the New Republic because of this, but none of that changes the truth that your Empire is gone. Whatever grudges you have against the New Republic must be looked past for the sake of your people."

"What do you know about our people?" the queen growled. "You have only been here a day." She raised her hand in a dismissing gesture. "Enough of this. I want you to leave."

Padme's mind raced for a statement that would at least open the queen's mind enough to not dismiss them so quickly, but it turned out that she wouldn't need to find one just yet, for one of the queen's advisors had risen and was now approaching the throne. She appeared to be in her late twenties, with heavily curly brown hair dangling underneath her blue headdress. Padme's heart skipped, causing her to eliminate her concern for the shortest of seconds when she realized who this advisor probably was.

"Your Highness, if I may," the advisor said in a high voice, "I believe the ambassadors should not be driven out so quickly. After all, we all know that Naboo owes so much to Queen Amidala, and she obviously continues to be dedicated to this planet."

Rianna looked at her advisor with a far gentler face than she had given any of her guests so far. "What do you suggest?"

"Give the ambassadors time to observe Naboo's present state," the advisor continued. "This also gives us time to investigate the details of their offer. Continue negotiations and we might arrive at a solution that actually benefits us."

The queen looked skeptical.

"Don't forget that she is the first person from the New Republic to approach us in this manner," the advisor persisted. "Even if we don't agree to her proposal, she might still be able to help us."

After twisting her lips for a few moments, Rianna finally spoke up. "Very well. Ambassadors Amidala and Organa Solo, you may remain on Naboo for the time being. Take the time you need to familiarize yourself with the planet's present state, during which we shall continue negotiations."

Although this wasn't what Padme had been hoping for, she smiled as she gave a small curtsy. It was a start. "Thank you, Your Highness," she said.

Leia repeated her mother's gesture and her words, though her face lacked Padme's smile.

"One more thing," the queen said before anyone could make a motion to leave.

"What?" asked Padme.

The queen gave a grin. "Next time you come here, keep the Corellian on a leash."

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"Mom, do me a favor and direct me to the nearest bar," Han said angrily once the group was safely out of the throne room. "I think I'm gonna need about fifty drinks."

"Sorry, you won't find too many bars around here," said Padme.

" 'Next time you come here, keep the Corellian on a leash,'" Han mocked in a squeaky voice. His storming footsteps became increasingly louder as his hands clenched into fists that he clearly wanted to use on the queen. "Well dammit lady, you're lucky they took my blaster! Bet you wouldn't be so nice to old Palpy if he used his completely necessary Death Star on this planet!"

"Well Han, it's not like you didn't ask for it," said Luke, appearing slightly uncomfortable.

"It's also not like he didn't say what we ambassadors _wanted_ to say," muttered Leia.

Padme abruptly stopped walking and sharply turned around to face her son-in-law. "Han, whether you made a valid point or not, that isn't the way to behave during a negotiation, especially when you weren't supposed to say _anything._"

"You should've thought of that before you invited me to come along!" Han snapped.

Now Padme would have very likely subjected Han to a lengthy lecture about political protocol and etiquette had a voice not distracted the bunch from their conversation.

"Aunt Padme! Aunt Padme!"

The advisor who had defended the ambassadors was now eagerly running up to them, nearly tripping on her long robes. "Aunt Padme!" she squealed when she reached them. Before Padme's brain could register anything, the advisor was squeezing her like a Wookiee.

"Aunt Padme," the advisor repeated. "I knew you couldn't really be dead, I just _knew_ it."

After a moment of collecting herself, a slightly-shaken Padme was finally able to speak. "Pooja?" she said. "Is that you?"

"Yes," the advisor said as she pulled back, allowing her aunt to see her face. "I know, I'm not exactly the same as you remember me, but that's what time does."

Padme's cheeks tightened in an unconscious smile as she studied her grown niece. Her slender figure and dignified posture were those of a woman, but her naturally-blushed cheeks and wide smile were still those of the little girl she remembered. She wrapped her arms around her niece, almost feeling that she could still pick her up.

Once her aunt released her, Pooja immediately turned to Leia, Luke, and Han. "And you - you're my cousins!" Without any sort of further introduction, she squeezed the three of them in one big embrace, as if they were old and dear friends whom she hadn't seen in a long time.

"Uh...hello, Cousin Pooja," Leia said in a somewhat frazzled voice.

"Please, just Pooja," corrected Pooja. "Adding 'Cousin' before my name just sounds too formal - and I get enough formality in my job."

"Nice to meet you, Pooja," said Luke, muffled slightly by his cousin's arm.

"Hey, just so you know, I'm a handshake-first-hug-later kinda guy," said an obviously uncomfortable Han. "So do you mind?"

"Oh, of course not," said Pooja, promptly releasing them. "I'm sorry - excitement sometimes overtakes me when I'm not working. Having to maintain that stiff formality all day makes you just want to let loose."

Padme couldn't help laughing. The longer she was around her niece, the more she was reminded of the child she knew her as. She would have expected it to be awkward to see Pooja as an adult, but instead, the sight of her niece brought excitement and wonderment at how she had changed so much and yet stayed the same.

"By the way, thanks for what you did during the meeting," said Leia.

"The least I could do," said Pooja, pushing her curls behind her shoulders. "I wasn't about to let Her Highness drive you away before I could talk to you." She gave a noise that sounded halfway like a cough and halfway like clearing her throat. "By the way, don't be offended by the way she treated you. I'm sure she'll warm up to all of you soon - even the Corellian."

Han bared his teeth. "Hey, I got a name, ya know."

"I know, Han," Pooja said, grinning at him. "Can't you handle a little teasing?"

"Oh, trust me, he can handle a _lot_ of teasing," Leia said cheekily, turning to her husband and playfully pinching his cheek. "Can't you, honey?" She shook the loose skin on his cheek back and forth. "In fact, you _love_ to be teased, don't you?"

"Only by _certain_ people," Han grumbled.

Luke snickered. "I can tell you guys are going to get along just fine."

Padme placed her hand on her niece's shoulder, drawing the advisor's attention back to her aunt. "Pooja, we're all going to your mother's place. Ryoo might be there too - would you like to come with us?"

Pooja's smile briefly faded for the first time since the meeting. "Oh, I'd love to, but you know, I have my duties here, I'm sure you understand that." She patted her aunt's arm. "But tell my sister I said hi - and give little Padme a kiss for me. You'll love her - she is the sweetest little baby."

"I'm sure she is," said Luke, appearing that his mind was somewhere else.

"Well, we'll probably be seeing you around later," said Padme.

"Yes," said Pooja. "I wish you luck with the negotiations." She squeezed her aunt's hand. "Bye."

Padme stared at her niece until she disappeared from sight, then she turned back to the others, finding that Luke was now staring out a window, his eyes blinking rapidly.

"Luke?" said Padme.

"Luke, what is it?" asked Leia.

Luke slowly turned back to face them, his chest rising and falling like he had just finished an afternoon of intense exercise. "Leia...during the meeting...did you feel anything unusual coming off of the queen?"

Leia shook her head, a confused expression on her face. "No, I don't think so."

Luke exhaled loudly. "Well...you're not fully-trained yet...maybe you can't feel it yet...but I'm almost certain I felt..."

"Felt what?" said Han.

Luke glanced at the floor before answering.

"The queen..." he said softly, "...I think...she's Force-sensitive."

AN: Yeah, yeah, evil me with another cliffie. :D I know, the queen seemed like a stereotypical closed-minded leader in this chapter, but she has hidden layers that will be revealed in later chapters. Anyway, school starts again in two weeks, but I should get at least one more chapter up before that (if I don't, feel free to nag me), and after that...well, I'll be a busy schoolgirl again, but I definitely won't be forgetting about this story.

PS: If you'd like to read a little Padme/Anakin mush and don't mind an M-rated fic, check out my new short story "Out of Pills." (Sorry, but since the site automatically hides the M-rated fics, that story's not getting as much attention as my others. :) )


	29. Chapter 29

"My Mother"

By EsmeAmelia

AN: As I say every time, thanks for all the reviews! Hope you like this chapter, since college starts on Monday, so updates will be slower.

Chapter 29

"How...why do you think she's Force-sensitive?" Leia asked in bewilderment once her mouth recovered the ability to speak.

Luke swallowed, unsure how to continue. He wasn't at all certain if he was correct. Perhaps he should have just waited until his next encounter with the queen before making any assumptions about her...but something was telling him that he was right.

"It's...it's hard to explain," he finally said, his right hand fiddling with his shirt. "Leia, you know that every living being emits a unique Force signature, regardless of whether or not they're Force-sensitive."

"Of course I know that, Luke," said his sister.

"Well..." Luke struggled to find the right words. "...with Force-sensitives, their Force signature feels..._different._ I dunno...but I felt that sort of..._difference_ coming off of the queen."

Leia put her hand on her brother's shoulder, as if he were a young boy convinced that there were scary things in the dark. "Luke, I know you're frustrated because you haven't found any other Force-sensitives besides me, but don't go jumping to conclusions."

Luke pushed her hand off. "Look, all I know is that I felt a distinction in her Force signature that I've only felt around you, Father, Ben, Yoda, and Palpatine."

Padme cut in before Leia could respond. "You would need a midichlorian count in order to know for sure."

"Midi-what?" said Han.

"Midichlorians," answered Luke. "Microscopic life-forms that reside in the cells of all living beings and carry the knowledge of the Force. The number of midichlorians your cells carry determine your ability to use the Force. Yoda taught me about them."

Han's lips curled in disbelief, or possibly disgust. "Okay kid...that was information I don't think I needed to know."

"You _asked_ about it," teased Leia, a grin briefly appearing on her face.

"Well for the record, next time I ask about somethin' that involves little buggy things livin' in people's cells, don't answer me," Han said, wrinkling his mouth.

"_Any_way," Luke said to cease the banter, "Leia, I think you should try reaching out to the queen with the Force."

"Luke..." Leia began.

"Leia, if you look for that distinction, maybe you'll find it," Luke persisted.

Leia sighed, looking like she was about to say something, but giving up after a second and closing her eyes, submitting herself to seeking out Queen Rianna's Force signature.

"Uh, Leia..." Han began.

"Don't distract her," Luke said in a harsh whisper.

"What happened to Jedi needin' to be able to work with distractions?" Han mumbled, getting no response.

Leia stood still for a minute, perhaps two, before opening her eyes and giving her brother an expression half of intrigue and half of pity. "I feel _something_, but I'm not sure if it means she's Force-sensitive."

Han was chewing his lip. "Hate to break it to you Luke, but even if she is, something tells me she won't be willin' to take Jedi lessons from a wicked Rebel."

Padme gently put her fingers on her son's cheek. "Luke, it's natural to get excited from finally discovering someone else who's Force-sensitive, but whether you like it or not, Han's probably right."

Luke tried to let the Force calm him, but his human frustration was starting to get the better of him, causing the volume of his voice to increase. "Don't any of you get it?" he shouted, throwing his arms in the air. "You all saw her today - she clearly harbors a great deal of anger and hatred. If she is Force-sensitive, the dark side could claim her."

The others were all silenced. Luke took several deep breaths, trying to distract himself from his tingling stomach. Hearing his voice state out loud what his mind had been fearing sent shivers through his body.

He faced his mother and sister, whose chests were heaving much like his own. "If I'm right," he said in a low voice, "success in your mission is far more important than any of us thought."

The group stood still for several moments. Even Han was swallowing at the realization that the queen could possibly become another Sith. If Luke's suspicions were correct, this had suddenly become far more than a mere political negotiation.

It was Padme who finally broke the silence.

"I have a bad feeling about this," she said.

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When the group returned to Padme's old house, Sola was there to greet them at the door, an excited smile on her face as she quickly hugged her sister before anything could be said.

"How did it go?" she asked when she pulled out.

Padme sighed through her nose. "Well, let's put it this way. New Republic credits aren't good here yet." She licked her lips. "But there's hope. Thanks to your daughter, we're able to remain here to observe the people and continue negotiating with the queen."

"So you saw Pooja?" said Sola, smiling widely.

Padme nodded. "She's become quite a woman. You must be very proud of her."

Sola giggled lightly in response. "Speaking of which," she said in a teasing voice, "someone else is here to see you."

-------------------------------------------

The group entered the living room to find a man and a woman sitting on the sofa, with a baby who appeared to be around a year old sitting in the woman's lap. The man had blonde hair that reminded Padme of Anakin's, except it was straighter, and he had a rather plump figure. The woman had long, straight brown hair that wrapped around her shoulders and eyes Padme couldn't see because they were looking down at R2, who was next to the sofa. She almost appeared to be engaged in a conversation with the droid, causing Padme to smile, which helped ease the twist in her stomach.

"Hello, Ryoo," she said gently.

The woman looked up, revealing a nervous, wide-eyed face. Padme understood - the older of the two children probably harbored clearer memories of her aunt than her sister did, which made this moment more awkward for her than it had been for Pooja.

"Hello...Aunt Padme..." she finally said in a deep voice. She batted her eyes, as though trying to block back tears.

Padme took a step closer to the sofa. "I see you got reacquainted with R2."

Ryoo gave a small smile as she nodded. "He's still as much fun as I remember him."

R2 beeped happily as he rolled away from the sofa, giving the humans room to get accquainted.

Once the droid was gone, Padme nodded back at her niece as she stepped closer, slowly reaching her hand out. Once the child in Ryoo's lap was within Padme's arm length, her fingers lightly brushed the baby's soft arm. "And who might this little one be?"

Ryoo appeared to give a silent laugh as she stroked the baby's chest. "This is _my _Padme...who I thought would never get to meet her namesake." She looked to the side at the man sitting next to her. "And before he accuses me of forgetting him, this is my husband, Siran."

Siran stuck out a hand. "Pleased to finally meet my aunt-in-law." Once Padme grasped his hand, he began swinging her hand back and forth as a smile appeared on his face. "Yes indeed, my daughter's got a name to be proud of."

"Thank you," said Padme.

Siran peered over Padme's shoulder at the younger members of the family, bunched near the back wall. "And those would be my cousins-in-law, I assume?"

"Yes," said Padme, looking back at the others, who seemed afraid to disturb this moment. She pointed at each of them as she introduced them. "Leia, Luke, Han. I trust you've heard of them?"

Ryoo swallowed as she looked at her cousins, who were now waving gently at her. "Yes," she said. "Most everyone has."

Padme gestured for her children to come up to the sofa. "Come on, guys."

Leia gave a wide smile as she and the other two walked up to the sofa. "It's nice to finally meet you, Ryoo."

"Same to you...Cousin Leia," said Ryoo. She glanced at her cousin's round belly. "So you're going to be a mother soon, too?"

Leia's teeth showed between her smiling lips. "Yes. In three months."

Ryoo rubbed her baby's head. "Well if you need any mothering tips in three months, just ask me. I'm a voice of experience, after all."

"With _twins_?" Han said with a crooked grin, as though trying to start a competition between the mothers about who would end up with the most children.

"Little Padme can sometimes be as difficult as twins," Ryoo retorted. "Or triplets."

Luke snickered. "Somehow I find that hard to believe," he said, taking the baby's hand in his real fingers, then widening his eyes at the touch. "She's so...soft," he said in awe.

Ryoo smiled up at her cousin. "Would you like to hold her?" She looked around at the others. "All of you?"

"What, you're going to pass our daughter around like she's a serving tray?" Siran exclaimed, pretending to be outraged and not doing a very good job of it.

"Don't worry - they won't eat her," Ryoo said playfully. She looked back at Luke. "Would you like to go first?"

Luke swallowed. "I've...never held a baby before." He inhaled slowly. "But I guess I'd better get some experience before Leia and Han kill me for dropping their children," he said, a grin creeping across his face as he spoke.

Han shot a glare in Luke's direction. "That had _better_ be a joke, kid."

Ryoo laughed as she rose to her feet with little Padme still in her arms. "I think I'm going to like you, Cousin Han." She turned her attention back to Luke. "Here, hold out your arms. She'll like you if you're gentle with her."

Luke did as he was told, after which Ryoo placed the child in his arms. Luke tenderly wrapped his arms around the girl and began stroking her back with his real hand while his artificial hand supported her bottom. As he looked into her small blue eyes, the tiny reflective dots of water appeared at the edges of his eyes, as if this was his first time looking at a baby, not just holding one.

"Hello, little Padme," he whispered as his fingers brushed her downy brown hair. "I'm your cousin Luke." He giggled slightly as little Padme reached for his cheek. "You're a sweet little girl, yes you are. When you get older, someday you can come visit me and your other cousins." He gently bounced the girl in his arms. "You look like your great aunt, yes you do. You know, you were named after her, yes." He kissed little Padme's head. "You're going to meet her soon."

Little Padme gave a series of high coos as she placed her round hand on Luke's lips.

Ryoo smiled. "She likes you."

"Okay, okay," said Han, stepping closer to Luke. "Don't hog the baby, kid."

"Hey, who says you have the next turn?" exclaimed Leia.

"I'm the one who's gonna be a father, and everyone knows fathers don't have the child-rearing instinct that mothers have, so for the sake of our own kids, I should go next," Han said with his smug grin.

Leia rolled her eyes while the others laughed at Han's logic.

---------------------------------------------------------------

While little Padme was passed among her cousins, Ryoo pulled the older Padme aside for a moment. She looked her aunt in the eye and swallowed hard before speaking.

"I have something for you," she said.

Padme smiled at her niece. "Ryoo, you didn't have to give me anything..."

"This is something that's rightfully yours," Ryoo interrupted, a slightly concerned look on her face. She glanced at the floor, breathing heavily as she slowly reached to her neck. "Mother gave this to me when little Padme was born...sh-she thought my daughter should have something that belonged to her namesake." She sniffed as she looked back up. "I'm sorry..."

"It's perfectly all right," said Padme.

Ryoo sniffed again. "It's ridiculous...I feel like I stole this from you."

"Well how were you to know I was alive?" said Padme.

"I know..." Ryoo said softly, reaching inside the collar of her shirt and pulling out one of her necklaces. Once the necklace was free of her head, she let it dangle from her fingers as she slowly moved it towards Padme. "Here...this is yours."

Padme let out a small gasp when she recognized the object dangling from her niece's fingers. A single brown stone hung from the necklace, shaped somewhat like a bow, with curving designs carved on it. Carved by a nine-year-old boy. Padme stared at the charm, almost afraid to touch it, as if it possessed a deadly power.

Her arm gradually lifted, her eyes remaining fixed on the stone until her fingers grasped it, which seemed to open a door full of long-ago memories and allow them to rush into her head like a wave on the beach. In her head, Ryoo's image seemed to vanish, being replaced by that of a small boy wrapped in a blanket, his eyes full of fear and loneliness.

"_It will bring you good fortune,"_ the boy had said. Good fortune had certainly come to her with the bearer of the stone...at first. For the first time in a while, Padme felt the grief for her husband squeezing her heart again. Only three years of marriage before horrible circumstances had split them apart. As her hand clasped the stone and her fingers ran across the ridges, they were feeling her husband. Anakin's hand had brought this charm into existence before it was lost to a battle. Her thumb stroked the charm with the tenderness of stroking his actual hand...the hand she would not stoke again in this life, for the flesh was gone.

"Aunt Padme?" Ryoo's voice asked. "Are you all right?"

Padme blinked hard as she looked back up at her niece. She breathed deeply as a smile unconsciously formed on her face. Her niece had given her a piece of her Anakin...a piece she could now treasure for the rest of her life. She tenderly put the necklace on, suddenly feeling closer to Anakin than she had felt in any time after her encounter.

"Thank you, Ryoo," she whispered, gathering her niece in a hug.

----------------------------------------------------------

Padme and Ryoo returned to the living room to find little Padme now in Chewie's arms, gently pulling at his fur, causing Chewie to give little roaring laughs. Leia and Han were now on the sofa with Siran, apparently getting acquainted with him after having had their turns holding the baby. Luke seemed to have left the room.

You have a beautiful cub, Chewie said when he saw Ryoo.

Ryoo gave her aunt a confused look. "What did he say?"

"He said you have a beautiful cub," said Padme, stretching her arm out towards Chewie. "I trust you've heard of Chewbacca?"

"Of course," said Ryoo, smiling as she walked up to Chewie. "It seems that my daughter's taken a liking to you, Chewbacca, but I think it's time for her namesake to hold her."

Chewie reluctantly handed the baby to her mother. Little Padme kept her hands reaching out for the Wookiee, seeming to think that he was a large furry toy for her.

"Now now, you can play with him again later," Ryoo said to her daughter. "Right now your great aunt wants to meet you."

Padme gulped when her great niece was placed in her arms. The child's wide blue eyes stared at her, looking like they were studying her. Her little pink lips were pursed, as if she actually knew that this was the woman whose name she carried.

"Hello there...little Padme," Padme said gently, feeling a bit strange at addressing someone else with her own name. "My name is the same as yours." She brushed little Padme's cheek with her fingers, savoring her smooth skin. "I almost never got to meet you...or your adult mother...or even my own children. I'll tell you the whole story when you're old enough to understand it." She kissed the girl's forehead, briefly feeling soft baby skin against her lips. "That's from your aunt Pooja. She couldn't be here today." She kissed the baby again. "And that one's from me."

As she cradled her great niece, Padme thought of her own children, whose infant forms she had seen only briefly. Already she had spent more time with her great niece as a baby than she had with Luke and Leia. She pressed the baby's cheek against her own, wondering if this yielding softness was how her son and daughter had felt when they were infants. She would never know. Although she had formed strong relationships with her adult children, that couldn't change the fact that their childhoods were still lost from her.

"R2, what do you mean this is only Master Luke's business? Honestly, sometimes I wonder what your priorities are."

3PO's voice jolted her out of her thoughts. She looked up to see the protocol droid hobbling in with as fast a pace as he could manage on his metal feet. R2 was rolling next to him, beeping in a snooty tone.

"Miss Padme, Mistress Leia, Master Han, oh, thank goodness," said 3PO. "At least you are still here."

"What is it, 3PO?" Padme asked.

"It's Master Luke..." 3PO began, before an angry beep from R2 interrupted him.

"Yes R2, I know Master Luke instructed us not to tell anyone," 3PO said to the astro droid, "but this happens to be inflicting on Master Luke's safety. It is for his own sake that we tell everyone what he's up to."

"What?" said Leia, pushing herself out of the sofa. "Where's Luke?"

"Oh Mistress Leia, it's most dreadful!" 3PO wailed. "Master Luke's gone off to the palace!"


	30. Chapter 30

"My Mother"

By EsmeAmelia

AN: 30 chapters and 800 reviews, thanks for making it happen! In my wildest dreams I would have never imagined that this fic would have such a huge following. When I began it, I probably thought I'd end up slacking away after a few chapters, but look at it now. Thanks to you guys for keeping me writing!

Chapter 30

_What am I doing here?_ Luke thought as he approached the palace for the second time that day, this time alone and uninvited. It occurred to him that this was vaguely similar to the time he had fled Dagobah, despite the warnings by Yoda and Obi-Wan's ghost. Once again, a glimpse of a possible future was driving him to attempt to alter it.

If his Jedi tutors were here, Luke imagined they would be very displeased. Perhaps they were, but this time they were making no attempt to stop him. In fact, the Force seemed to be pushing him forward, urging him on. Or perhaps he was trying to convince himself that was so. What was the reason for being here? A second. A tiny but powerful second that had occurred when holding little Padme, a fleeting vision in his mind of the future that was always in motion and forever changing. He couldn't even remember what he had specifically seen.

He only remembered that little Padme was suffering.

He reached out to the queen with his Force senses, once more feeling that uniqueness he had only felt around Force-sensitives. _She doesn't know_, he mused, unsure how he had sensed that. _And the dark side doesn't have her...yet._ Not yet, but she was in great danger of it claiming her.

Of that Luke was certain.

---------------------------------------------

"Well this is just _great,_" said Han. "As if the queen didn't hate us enough already, now she'll get Luke trespassin' on her property tryin' to get her away from the dark side. Oh yeah, that'll _really_ convince her to join the New Republic."

"I say we go after him," said Padme. "We might be able to catch him before he gets there."

Leia had her eyes closed, as if seeking him out with the Force. With her eyelids still down, she slowly raised her hand. "No," she said simply.

"What?" Padme and Han exclaimed together.

Leia opened her eyes, a look of complete seriousness on her face. "He knows what he's doing," she said. "Right now, we need to trust him. I sense that he needs to do this." She grabbed her husband's hand and squeezed it. "The Force needs him to do it, too."

"Leia, have you gone..." Han began before Leia put her hand over his mouth, signaling that she would hear none of his complaints.

"You need to trust me about this, Han," she said.

----------------------------------------------------

"I need to see the queen," Luke said in a firm voice when two palace guards approached him. "Do you remember me? I was with the ambassadors that visited this morning."

"Yes, but I don't recall you making an appointment to come here without them," one of the guards said with a sneer.

"Besides, the queen isn't seeing anyone right now," said the other guard, slightly raising his blaster. "Go, unless you really do have an appointment."

Luke struggled not to smile as he slyly waved his hand. "Yes," he said, "I do have an appointment. Right now."

Both guards' eyes suddenly appeared glazed, as if they were under a spell, which in a way, they were. "Yes," the first guard repeated, "you do have an appointment. Right now."

"Thank you," Luke said when the guards let him pass. "Your intelligent decision will be remembered."

"Our intelligent decision will be remembered," said the second guard.

As Luke entered the palace, he wondered why people always seemed to hire guards who were extremely susceptible to Jedi mind tricks.

-----------------------------------------------

Upon reaching the throne room, Luke found it empty, or so it seemed, but his Force senses told him differently. Queen Rianna's Force signature was screaming out at him, telling him that she was behind the throne. She was aware of his presence - perhaps she considered him an intruder. Perhaps that was why she was hiding.

"You will not take another step, Skywalker," Rianna's thickly accented voice commanded. "If you do not wish for a nice stay in prison for trespassing on royal property, you will leave at once."

"Your Highness, I wish to speak with you," Luke said gently.

"Well I do not wish to speak with you," Rianna said gruffly, keeping herself hidden. "Your mother and sister are the negotiators, not you."

"This is not about politics," said Luke. "This is about...about you."

After a moment or two of silence, the queen slowly and cautiously stepped out from behind the throne, revealing her unadorned face to the Jedi. Without her crown and her makeup, Luke could clearly see her youth. The tan-skinned, green-eyed face with the mane of black hair was that of a girl, not yet that of a complete woman. Luke felt something like pity for her, to have such a large burden at such an early age.

"About me?" she asked, her voice the same as it had been during the negotiations.

Luke gave a small nod, breathing deeply. "Your Highness..." he said, unsure how to begin, "...despite our differing opinions about how the galaxy should be run, you and I have something very important in common."

Rianna glared at him. "And what would that be?"

Luke stared at her green eyes, trying to use the Force to communicate that he wanted to help her. "Your Highness...my mother was elected to rule Naboo by her people. Were you elected as well?"

Rianna raised an eyebrow, as if suspecting he was mentally unstable. "No," she said, "the tradition of elections had long been dissolved when I took this position."

"And when...when did you take this position?"

"If this is an interrogation for your mother and sister to use, you're not doing a very good job disguising it," the queen snapped.

"It's _not_ an interrogation!" Luke insisted.

Rianna didn't look convinced, but she didn't give any further protest. "Right before the first Death Star was completed," she said. "I was appointed by Palpatine himself."

Luke tried not to let his eyes widen as the theory of why she was appointed came into his head. He had to remain calm in her presence...that was the only way he had a chance of her listening to him.

"Do you...do you know why you were appointed?"

Rianna's brows went down. "You intend to use that to bring me down?" she said, her voice growing louder.

Luke thought it would be best to ignore her. "Do you think that maybe he appointed you because he knew you had special powers - powers that would keep his home planet safe when the Empire was under threat by the Rebellion?"

A very visible tremble went through the queen's body. "I don't know what you're talking about," she said in a shaky voice.

"You know about the Force, don't you?" Luke said simply.

"Only Emperor Palpatine and Lord Vader could use it," she replied coldly.

The mention of his father pushed liquid down Luke's throat. Was he perhaps leading her into the dark side by making her aware of her abilities? Did those who were unconscious of their Force-sensitivity ever succumb to the dark side?

The lack of an answer to that question was what motivated him to turn around and face a vase of flowers on a table. After a moment's hesitation, he stuck his hand in front of him, reached out with the Force, and grasped the vase. The unseen hand of the Force picked up the vase, making it seem to hover in the air without assistance. With the vase still floating, Luke looked back at Rianna, whose eyes were wide, but whose mouth was still frowning.

"They _weren't_ the only ones," Luke said.

Rianna's eyebrows were so low that they pulled wrinkles into her forehead. "What sort of fool do you take me to be, Skywalker? Of _course_ I know of the abilities you and your sister possess, but that is only because you are the offspring of Lord Vader. As I said before, only he and Palpatine possessed those abilities."

"You're wrong," said Luke, keeping the vase in the air. "You can do this, too. I'm sure of it."

The queen's face scrunched, as if she was trying to keep herself from exploding. "I see what you're trying to do, Skywalker, and I must say I'm impressed with how utterly foolish you are. You actually think that I'll turn this planet over to the New Republic merely for the ability to perform circus tricks?"

Luke gently put down the vase before stepping closer to the queen. "I don't know how much you know about the Force, but I can tell you that it's _not_ just circus tricks, and I'm _not_ here to bribe you into joining the New Republic." He walked closer until he realized that he was actually looking down on her - the top of her head was only just beneath his shoulders.

"Enough of this!" Rianna nearly shouted.

Luke raised his hands, curling his fingers. "I'm here because you're in danger," he said firmly. "Listen to me, the dark side is looking for a victim. I can help you to resist it. I know you don't truly want to become like the Emperor - your admiration for him comes only from how he protected your planet."

"Enough!" Rianna said in a definite shout.

"There's confusion in you, I sense it," Luke persisted. "You're starting down the path, but you can still turn away. Let me help you."

"I said ENOUGH!" Rianna screamed, abruptly twisting her body. Before Luke could register what she was doing, she had pulled a blaster seemingly out of nowhere. In another millisecond, she had fired, sending Luke down into blackness.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Leia's temples throbbed in pain, causing her nostrils to suck in a sudden stream of air. She ground her teeth behind her lips as her eyes scrunched shut, bringing her an image of her brother falling to the ground. The image vanished from her mind as quickly as it had appeared, but Leia's stomach remained in a twisted state. She slowly opened her eyes, bringing the baby in her lap back into focus. Little Padme's wide eyes stared at her cousin and her little hand touched her arm, as if she was asking what was wrong.

"I'm all right, little Padme," she whispered to the baby, wrapping an arm around her body, trying to gather strength from the child. She swallowed hard - Luke was in trouble. He was hurt - she felt that as strongly as she felt the infant's weight on her lap. Her first urge was to scream to the others, to go looking for him, to get him out of the palace by any means necessary. She opened her mouth to do just that, but an internal warning overcame her before she uttered any sound, the same sort of warning that had told her not to follow Luke to the palace.

Her lips shook, aching to speak of her vision. She gripped the baby as if little Padme was her root - the thing that prevented her from running off to her brother. Her blood swam through her veins as she hoped Ryoo wouldn't want her daughter back right now.

She absolutely detested being passive. The notion of remaining passive when the Force required it had often caused her to scoff her brother during their Jedi training sessions. She had lived her entire life as a fighter. If she ever failed, she could at least take comfort in the fact that she had done everything within her power to succeed. Now, she had to willingly do nothing, at least for the time being. She remembered Luke's desperation to save herself and Han on Bespin, which had led to the loss of his hand and the revelation that had changed his life.

Her eyes glanced at the other end of the room, at Han, Padme, and Ryoo talking, probably about Luke. Despite the fact that none of them were Force-sensitive, she shielded her anxiety, struggling to appear calm, not willing to let them know what she had just seen for fear that they would go after him.

She began swaying back and forth, gently rocking the baby in her arms, hoping that little Padme would fall asleep in her lap and give her a reason to stay here. After a minute or two, she felt the child growing drowsy. Her little head rested on her cousin's stomach as her eyes slowly closed, causing Leia to smile, leaning down to the infant's ear.

"Keep me here, little Padme," she whispered.

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Luke awoke with a throbbing headache, briefly remembering nothing of what had occurred. His eyes felt crusty as they gradually blinked open, bringing in unfamiliar surroundings. All he could place about where he was currently located was that he was in a bedroom, and a rather luxurious one at that.

"Luke? Luke? Are you all right?"

The familiar voice gave him enough presence of mind to turn his head to the side and look up at the cheerful woman he had seen earlier that day, now wearing a serious expression.

"P-P-Pooja...?" he whispered.

A tiny smile appeared on his cousin's face. "You're all right, Luke."

"Wh-wh-what happened...?"

Pooja's smile vanished and her face once more became serious. "Her Highness shot you - but only with a stunray. You're not seriously hurt."

Luke stared up at the ceiling of whatever room he was in. "She has Jedi reflexes..." he said in a daze, breathing heavily as Pooja brushed his forehead with a wet cloth.

"Shhhh," said Pooja. "You're not injured, but you're still weak. You need to rest."

Luke closed his eyes, absorbing the cold moisture against his skin. "Wh-why did she..."

"She wants to talk to you," said Pooja. "I think she did that because she wanted you to listen to her."

"So she thinks shooting people is the only way to get them to listen?" Luke said in a feeble attempt to be humorous.

Pooja gave a long sigh. "She'll explain everything when she gets here."

"I'm already here," an accented voice said from the door.

Luke forced his aching head to rise a few inches above the pillow on which it lay so he could see Queen Rianna approach the bed, still unadorned as she had been before. Luke was beginning to figure out why Naboo's queens wore such heavy makeup and attire - it helped to disguise the fact that they were only a few years past childhood.

"Rianna..." he began, suddenly thinking that the queen no longer deserved to be addressed by a royal title, "...when my mother and sister hear about this..."

"That won't be until you and I have talked," Rianna interrupted. "Pooja, lock the door."

Luke grimaced as he watched his cousin obey her queen's order without any sort of protest. "We could have talked in the throne room..." he muttered.

"Not with your constant harassment," the queen snapped. "Now that you have been humbled, perhaps you will listen to what I have to say." She walked over to a dresser and snatched something off of it.

Luke's head sank back into the pillow. "I'll listen..._if _you release me when we're finished."

The queen sat on the edge of the bed. "You are not a prisoner, Skywalker. If you were, don't you think you'd be in a cell instead of my bedroom?" She glanced down at the object in her hands, giving a smirk through her nose. "I know why you Rebels destroyed the Death Star," she said softly. She seemed to be talking more to the object than to Luke. "Because it wasn't discriminating. It could wipe out thousands of souls in an instant without mercy." She looked back at Luke, her green eyes flaring. "Am I right?"

"Of course," Luke said in a confused voice.

Rianna abruptly shoved the object she held in front of Luke's face. "Do you know who this is?"

Luke squinted at the object: a holo of a man and a little girl. The man was young, perhaps in his twenties, with his arms wrapped around the dark-haired girl, both with smiles that appeared natural, not merely constructed for the holocamera. The man didn't look the tiniest bit familiar, but the girl looked somewhat like a miniature version of the queen.

"You and your father?" Luke guessed, unsure what this had to do with anything.

"Correct," Rianna said flatly as she signaled to Pooja to bring her another item. "Now do you recognize him?"

Luke studied the holo, trying to place an identity on the man, wondering where it was possible that he might have seen him before. After a minute, he found it was futile.

"No," he said, shaking his head.

"I didn't expect you to," said Rianna. She removed the holo and put the object Pooja had fetched, a second holo, in front of Luke's face. "Now do you recognize _this_ man?"

Luke's eyes widened. The holo showed the same man as before...only this time in an Imperial officer's uniform.

"Your...your father was a..." Luke choked out, unable to finish. His heart felt like a detonator in his chest that could explode at any moment.

Rianna nodded, her eyebrows down. "Not just my father, but many, many people from Naboo served the Emperor in his military." Her face shook. "Several of them were on the first Death Star, the one you destroyed...including my father." Audible breaths emitted out of her nostrils, as if she were a wild beast preparing to charge. "But of course, none of that matters. Nevermind that you killed thousands of people whom you had absolutely no acquaintance with. After all, they were merely evil Imperials, right? None of them had families, or souls for that matter, am I right?"

Despite the blankets that covered him, Luke felt as if he were on Hoth. As he stared at the holo, his blinks brought him the image of that same man embracing his daughter. His mouth suddenly felt deprived of moisture, causing his teeth to chatter.

"We...we had to destroy it," he said, his voice coming out in a near-whisper. "O-or it would have wiped out other planets like how it wiped out Alderaan."

Rianna blinked rapidly, as if trying to prevent herself from crying. "Do you honestly think that every single person on that station _wanted_ to destroy Alderaan? Many of them didn't even know what the Death Star was for, or if they did, they thought that it would only wipe out barren worlds or asteroids in order to demonstrate what the Empire could do to the Rebels."

"What about _after_ they destroyed Alderaan?" said Luke, breathing deeply in a vain attempt to untwist his stomach.

Rianna trembled again. "I don't know exactly what they thought then, but many probably trusted Palpatine that it would not happen often."

"And then they headed right for Yavin 4 to destroy the Rebel Base," Luke said weakly.

"Which was a _military_ target," Rianna snapped. "They were out to crush the Rebels, just as you were out to crush the Imperials. War is not a pretty business, Skywalker."

"Don't you think I know that?" muttered Luke.

Rianna bared her teeth at the Jedi. "I might have expected that you would try to convince yourself that my father was a heartless monster. It helps to ease your conscience, doesn't it? If he was a heartless monster, you had every reason in the world to kill him." She leaned in closer to Luke. "Just like the Death Star, you were undiscriminating, wiping out all who happened to be on that station. You Rebels believe yourselves to be so morally superior to us, but you're not all that different." Her eyes seemed to pierce through Luke with their glare. "If I'm correct, your own brother-in-law was an Imperial soldier once, before he was kicked out."

Han. Luke's mouth trembled as he spoke. "H-h-he was kicked out because he realized how corrupt the Empire was..."

"But suppose he _didn't_," Rianna said sharply. "Suppose he hadn't had the courage to free that Wookiee. What would have happened then? Why, he might have been assigned to work on the Death Star, and then you would have blown him to pieces and felt no remorse for it."

Luke's mouth soundlessly hung open as he felt like he was sinking into a black abyss. Han...the man he'd long regarded as an older brother...who had saved his life several times..._could_ have been on the Death Star if things had turned out differently. He flexed his muscles to prevent his limbs from shaking at the thought. Han's brief time spent as an Imperial soldier wasn't something Luke thought of often, and whenever he did, he would focus on his rebellion against the Imperials, which showed that his brother-in-law had a noble heart. But now, with the possibility that he _could _haveremained an Imperial and _could_ have been killed on the Death Star, his mind felt empty, as if he was lost in some alternate form of consciousness, waiting in vain to wake up.

Rianna sniffed, her eyes blinking away tears again. "You will be free to go tomorrow morning. When you get back to your family, I want you to tell your mother and sister what you have heard." She rose from the bed. "Come, Pooja."

The queen and her advisor left the bedroom, leaving Luke with a throbbing head and an even more throbbing heart. His heart no longer felt like detonator - it felt instead like it had been ripped out of his body. He breathed deeply, trying to concentrate on the sound of his breath in feeble hope that it would get rid of the image of the loving father in the Imperial uniform and his brother-in-law dressed identically, remaining in this state until the after-effects of the stunray finally drove him into a troubled sleep.


	31. Chapter 31

"My Mother"

By EsmeAmelia

AN: Ugh, over a MONTH without updating. College is a killer. Anyway, thanks as always to the reviewers!

Chapter 31

In the Naberrie household, there was a general stupor of a mood. Luke's brash action and Leia's insistence that they not do anything about it soon brought the non-Force-sensitives alternatively into silence and awkward fragments of conversation. It wasn't until Sola announced that Pooja was on the com that the dark cloud seemed to lift. Leia even asked Siran to take his daughter out of her lap so she could see what her cousin would have to say about Luke.

Pooja's hologram was smiling at her family, but her face seemed slightly strained, as if she were smiling not out of happiness, but trying to ease tension.

"Hello, hello," she said, her head darting around and nodding to the different faces, "Mother, Ryoo, Leia, Han..." She paused a moment. "...Aunt Padme."

"Where's Luke?" Padme asked in a harsh tone almost before her niece had finished her greetings.

"He's fine," Pooja responded a little too quickly. "He got in a little tussle with the queen, but he'll be fine."

"I want to talk to him," Padme demanded, her voice displaying the calm toughness of a senator.

Pooja's eyes widened slightly as she looked like she was swallowing. "Well...you can't right now."

Han glared at the hologram. "What's he doing, givin' the queen a lecture about the dark side and not lettin' her get a word in edgewise?"

Pooja frowned, revealing to her family that she was indeed capable of frowning. "Not anymore," she said carefully. "See...he's asleep."

"Asleep??" the entire group reacted together.

Pooja sighed. "I assure you, he's fine. Like I said, he got into a tussle, but he'll be perfectly all right by tomorrow."

Padme wanted to yell at the niece whom only this morning she had been so overjoyed to see. She took a long inhale to calm herself before speaking. "Pooja, tell us what's going on."

Pooja gave a sigh so loud that she sounded like she was trying to blow out a flame. "Listen, I didn't have any part of it. Her Highness can be impulsive at times, especially when angered..."

"Pooja, darling," Sola interrupted, "I know your career has taught you to embellish your talk before you get to the point, but this isn't a royal situation, so could you please just tell us what happened?"

Her mother's voice seemed sufficient enough to finally motivate Pooja to tell them what had occurred. As the hologram told of Luke's argument with the queen that had led to his being shot, Padme felt herself trembling, wondering if her son's fears about the queen were coming true.

"...and as I said before, he'll be all right," Pooja finished. "He just needs to sleep it off, that's all. We're keeping him here overnight to recover, and tomorrow, he can return to you."

"It sounds to me like you're keeping him prisoner," Leia snapped.

"We're _not_ keeping him prisoner!" Pooja snapped back. "You brother is fine, but he needs a little time to recover from the stunray before he returns."

Leia didn't appear convinced. "How do we know we can...oof..." Her accusation abruptly cut off as she clutched her stomach.

Pooja grinned slightly. "I think your little ones want you to listen to me."

Ryoo put her hand on her cousin's shoulder. "Leia, it's all right. My sister's very trustworthy."

"Yes, what she said," replied Pooja. "Don't worry, I'll take good care of Luke while he's here, I promise." She once more faced her aunt. "Tomorrow, Luke will have a lot of things to tell you - and I suggest you listen."

Padme's eyes were still lowered at her niece. "I intend to," she said stiffly. She curled her toes in anxiety as her niece's hologram vanished, sensing that Pooja hadn't told them the whole story. She trusted that Pooja wouldn't let any serious harm come to Luke, but she couldn't help wondering what this was really all about.

----------------------------------

Pooja's room in the palace contained an extra bed for whoever might be in need of it. The rare occasions when it was used were usually parties or other political gatherings where the number of guests superseded the number of guest rooms in the palace. However, tonight she would be hosting a very important guest. Rather than move the still-weak Luke from the queen's bedroom, Pooja suggested that Rianna could sleep in her spare bed. Rianna's quick acceptance made Pooja suspect that the queen would need her advisor tonight in a way that was beyond their professional relationship.

The way Rianna now sat on the extra bed told Pooja that her suspicions were correct. Her knees were drawn up to her chest, embraced by her arms as her eyes stared ahead at nothing. She wore light orange pajamas that made the seventeen-year-old look a few years younger than she was.

"Your Highness, are you all right?" Pooja said gently.

"Pooja, we are not in a counsel meeting - you don't need to call me 'Your Highness' here," Rianna said gruffly, her eyes continuing to stare into space.

"All right, Rianna," Pooja replied.

The queen still wouldn't look at her. "How's our guest doing?" she said glumly.

"He's sleeping," said Pooja. "Poor guy, he was barely awake when I gave him dinner. Just how strong was that stunray?"

"Strong enough to take down a Jedi, obviously," said Rianna, folding her arms and resting them on her knees. "Everything should wear out by tomorrow, don't worry about your cousin."

"I'm not," said Pooja, sitting down next to the queen's feet, feeling the mattress yielding to her weight.

"Feel lucky that I didn't have that blaster set to kill," Rianna said in a huffy voice.

Pooja reached a hand towards the queen. "I know you wouldn't have done that."

"Don't think it didn't cross my mind," Rianna said, abruptly turning her head downward, nearly burying it in her arms. "When I had my father's killer right in the room with me..."

"I know," Pooja said hastily, hoping the queen didn't notice her gulping. She still saw her cousin's image in her head, his teeth ground, his eyes squeezed, his mouth occasionally moaning. Her hand gently stroked her queen's shoulder, absorbing the fuzzy softness of her pajama top, wishing that she could find the perfect thing to say that would fix all of this.

"Do you believe what your cousin said about me...?" Rianna said softly, keeping her head down.

"About you having the Force?" said Pooja, her fingertips now lightly massaging Rianna's shoulder.

"Yes..." the queen whispered.

Pooja's fingers ceased their motion as her nose emitted a lingering exhale. "I don't know," she said. Her mouth tried to move upward, but without success. "I know that you were exceedingly good with your defense training and your combat training after you were appointed." Her hand moved to the queen's cheek, trying to coax her to look up. "When Luke awoke the first time, he said something about you having Jedi reflexes...just supposing that he is right, that might have had something to do with your fighting skills."

Rianna rested her chin on her hands, letting her advisor see her blank face. "But what does that _mean?_ I mean...even if I have those superhuman abilities of Emperor Palpatine and Lord Vader, I don't even know how to use them."

"Maybe you do - subconsciously," Pooja offered, still trying in vain to smile.

The queen was silent, only emitting uneasy breaths. Pooja returned to stroking her shoulder, hoping to give her queen some comfort, but Rianna seemed not to notice.

"He was only thirty-seven, you know," Rianna said in a shaky voice after a few minutes.

"I know," Pooja responded softly. She gave a long inhale, trying to give herself the courage to say something more.

Rianna looked like she was on the verge of crying. Her face was scrunched, as if trying to swallow tears. "He left telling me that the war would be over soon...that he would be home before I knew it..." Her head dropped down behind her knees again.

Pooja squeezed her queen's shoulder. "You know..." she said carefully, "...Ambassador Organa Solo lost her adopted father in a similar way...only it was to the Empire instead of the Rebellion."

Rianna kept her face buried. "Please don't talk about that..." she whispered.

Pooja nodded, despite the fact that Rianna couldn't see her, reasoning that the queen still wasn't ready to truly face the destruction of Alderaan, the destruction that her father likely had a hand in. Since neither of them knew exactly what her father had been assigned to do on the first Death Star, Rianna was able to assume that he hadn't had a direct hand in the destruction of Alderaan, however unlikely that may have been. But perhaps she was ready to face something else.

"Rianna..." she said hesitantly, "...can I tell you...something about my family?"

Rianna looked up, letting Pooja see her misty green eyes. "What?"

Pooja swallowed, hesitating for a moment, wondering if this revelation would affect their relationship. She considered Rianna to be more than a queen - she considered her a friend. A good friend.

"Rianna..." she finally gained the courage to say, "...my grandparents were Rebels."

Rianna raised a brow at her advisor. "What?"

"My grandparents were Rebels," Pooja repeated in a more confident voice. "They were spies for the Rebellion...but they were both caught." She swallowed hard. "And executed by the Empire. All this happened when I was still a girl."

Rianna gave Pooja a surprisingly compassionate expression. "Why haven't you ever told me this?"

Pooja's mouth twisted into an expression that was neither smiling, nor frowning, nor neutral. "Well...it's kind of strange for a granddaughter of Rebels to be working for someone who supports the Empire." She moistened her lips, knowing that wasn't a very convincing explanation. "I guess...I guess I wanted to point out to you that we have both lost loved ones to the war, just to different sides."

Now it was Rianna who was putting her hand on Pooja's shoulder. "I'm sorry," she said, sounding like she wasn't sure whether or not she was truly sorry.

"It was a long time ago," said Pooja. "Anyway, I'm just saying that you've suffered a lot, but so have many others. As you yourself said, war is not a pretty business. Both sides have blood on their hands."

"I know," said the queen, squirming uncomfortably, causing the mattress to shift under Pooja's body. After a sigh or two, she said in a hesitant voice, "Do you think I should join the New Republic?"

Pooja swallowed. "Why are you asking me this?"

"You're my advisor," Rianna said simply. "Advise."

"Aren't you worried my advice would be biased, seeing as how I'm related to the ambassadors and all?" Pooja tried to give an innocent smile as she spoke, trying to push down the shifting in her nerves.

"I trust you to be objective," said Rianna.

Pooja brought her knees to her chest before speaking, a mirror image of Rianna's position. "I think you have very valid reasons to be angry at the New Republic, but you shouldn't base your decisions only on your own hatred."

"So you think I should join them?" Rianna said bitterly.

"I didn't say that," Pooja said quickly. "I'm merely saying that your personal losses aren't exactly relevant to what might be best for our people. Your duty is to be a caretaker to this planet first and foremost."

"So what exactly are you advising me to do?"

"The same thing I advised this morning," said Pooja. "Let these ambassadors negotiate with you. Let them see our planet for themselves. Granted, I don't know my aunt and cousin that well, but they seem to be very understanding people. Perhaps with continued negotiations, you will arrive at a compromise - one that can help our planet without forcing us to join with the Rebels." She placed her hand back on the queen's shoulder. "And you can't deny that we do need help."

Rianna pushed her advisor's hand off of her. "How can I even look at them? It's not just my father, you know. The Rebels took away so many of our people."

Pooja gave a bittersweet smile. "You are young, Rianna. In time, you'll learn to move on from the past. You'll find that it's the only thing we can do."

Rianna's face once more disappeared behind the barrier of her knees. "You don't understand..."

"I don't understand what?"

Pooja thought she heard a sniffing sound coming from behind the queen's knees. "You don't understand why I shot Skywalker," she said softly.

Pooja's hand gripped the mattress, nervously scratching it, not caring how irritating the sound was. This was the question she had been avoiding, even to herself. Impulsive...yes, the queen was impulsive, but not usually impulsive enough to do something like this.

"No..." the advisor finally admitted with a sigh, "...I don't understand why you did that."

Rianna hugged her legs as she spoke, her head remaining down. "It was because I _had_ to. No, he wasn't threatening me. Annoying, yes. Threatening, no. And yet, I _had_ to bring him down."

"What do you mean?" asked Pooja, swallowing hard, trying to ignore the twist in her stomach.

Rianna's bare feet crossed, as though her body was tensing up in preparation to speak. "In that moment, all I saw was a killer. My logic vanished like it had never been. It was...it was almost like Palpatine was speaking to me...telling me to take my revenge." Her eyes slowly peeked over her knees, like she was peeking out of a hiding place in order to make sure it was safe to come out. "I almost set it to kill...I came very close to it, in fact..."

Pooja tried hard to not let her queen see her eyes bulge. She tried not to think of the few words Luke had mumbled when she was serving him dinner. _"The dark side...she's in danger of the dark side..." _Pooja knew very little about the Force, but she had a memory - a memory of another person who went down that path, a memory that made her tremble with fear of her queen's fate.

"Rianna," she said carefully, "can I share something else?"

Her advisor's voice seemed to grant Rianna the courage to show her whole face. "What?"

Pooja gulped before talking. "I met Darth Vader once, long before you were born. Back when he was still Anakin Skywalker. Even before he became my uncle." Her unexpected use of the word "uncle" gave Pooja the need to swallow again. Darth Vader was her uncle, she suddenly realized. She wasn't sure whether to feel disgust, pity, awkwardness, or humor.

A look of genuine interest appeared on Rianna's face. "What was he like?"

Pooja sighed, stroking the bed like it was a pet. "Nothing like how you knew him. I was a little girl at the time - my aunt brought him here to visit my grandparents." She found herself smiling against her will when she remembered the long-ago time. "He was kind, enthusiastic, friendly." She nodded unconsciously to herself. "He played with me and my sister Ryoo, telling us that we reminded him of our aunt." She stared into Rianna's pupils. "He wasn't anything like that power-hungry warlord who would choke his own men for the slightest failure."

Rianna's fingers drummed uneasily on her knee.

Pooja placed her hand on the queen's hand, inflicting a gentle but firm pressure. "From what I've heard, that's what the dark side does to people. It changes them beyond recognition."

"So you do believe him," Rianna said bitterly.

"I don't know if I do or not," said Pooja, feeling her confidence rapidly diminishing. "But I'm...I'm worried about you."

Rianna put her other hand on top of her advisor's hand, sandwiching it between her palm and her knuckles. "You're worried about me?"

Pooja pulled her hand out from between the queen's hands. In a sweeping motion, she rose to her knees and loosely encircled Rianna's neck with her arms, embracing her without hugging her. "I'm telling you this not as an advisor, but as a friend. Don't let hatred dictate your actions. Whether you're Force-sensitive or not, it will change you."

She expected the queen to give an annoyed response, like she thought her advisor didn't trust her, but no such response came. On the contrary, she felt Rianna's arms gathering up her body and her head pressing against her chest. She heard the queen breathing deeply, drawing comfort from her advisor, but especially from her friend.

After a few moments of squeezing her, Pooja patted the queen's back. "Be strong, Rianna. And get some sleep - you'll have plenty of time to think about this tomorrow."

Rianna pulled out of the embrace and nodded at her advisor, even smiling a bit. "All right, Pooja."

-------------------------------

The next morning, true to the queen's word, Luke was released from the palace. He walked back to Sola's house, occasionally pausing to stretch his arms and legs, assuring himself that he hadn't sustained any damage from the blaster. For the rest of the walk, his mind periodically ran over the conversation from the day before, wondering how he was going to deliver his discoveries to his family, and if it would really make any difference in their mission.

Upon reaching his temporary home, he saw that Sola was already standing at the top of the steps outside the front door. She waved excitedly as she ran down the steps.

"Luke!" she exclaimed when she reached the bottom. "You're all right! We were all worried sick about you yesterday. How are you feeling?"

Luke shrugged at his aunt. "Okay, I guess. I don't think that blast gave me anything lasting, if that's what you mean." He inhaled deeply, as if he felt the need to give Sola a demonstration that he was all right. "Where are the others?"

"I think they're still asleep," said Sola. "They were up half the night talking about you. I think they even thought of trying to break into the palace and rescue you or something."

Luke grinned for the first time since the day before. "Do you think they'd mind it if I woke them?"

Sola grinned back at her nephew. "Not at all."

------------------------------

When Luke opened the door to the room he currently shared with Han and Chewie, he only had to take a few steps in before he heard the familiar roar of excitement characteristic of a familiar Wookiee. He looked to the side to see Chewie leaping off of his cot and running up to him.

"Hey Chewie," said Luke. "How are..." He didn't have time to say anything more before Chewie grabbed him in one of his rib-crushing hugs, howling in relief.

"Chewie...I'm fine...I'm fine...can you please let go now?" Luke said in a muffled voice, after which the Wookiee released him with a noise that sounded like a laugh.

"Yeah Chewie, I missed you too," Luke said , ruffling Chewie's fur as he looked over at the beds, finding that Han had somehow managed to sleep through the Wookiee's bursts of joy. He scampered over to the bed and grabbed Han's shoulder through the covers.

"Hey Han, wake up!" the Jedi shouted, shaking Han's shoulder. "Guess who's back from his little trip to the palace!"

Normally Luke would expect to have to shake Han for at least five straight minutes to wake him, but this morning it was only a few grunts before he stuck his head up to look at his brother-in-law. His hair was mussed and his eyes were squinting, but he was obviously aware.

"Luke?" he said, sounding halfway between relieved and angry.

Luke gave a forced grin at his brother-in-law. "Yeah."

"So did they actually let you go, or did you have to pull one of your escape schemes?" said Han, rubbing his eyes.

Luke blew a small stream of air out of his nose. "They let me go. Aside from the stunray, no torture, no interrogation, the queen even let me sleep in her bed." Then, realizing how that came out, he quickly added, "_Alone."_

Han didn't look convinced. "Really? Well that's good...cause you're gonna have to use one of your escape schemes before I break your neck!!" He jolted to a sitting position, glaring at Luke. "What were you thinkin', doin' something stupid like that??"

Luke figured he probably deserved Han talking to him like this, but after his experience the day before, he wasn't in the mood to have more people yell at him. "Well if I deserve to have my neck broken for doing something stupid once, then you must deserve to have yours broken at least fifty times."

"Not funny, kid," snapped Han. "Have ya thought that you probably blew this entire mission just for that Force stuff?"

Luke sighed. "Okay, maybe I shouldn't have done that, but I hardly think I blew the mission. I might have even _helped_ it."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I'll tell you after the others are awake," said Luke.

"Then by all means, go get them up," Han said in an annoyed voice. "If you're gonna wake me, you're gonna wake them too."

---------------------------------------

A hand on her cheek woke Padme out of the doze she'd fallen into only a few hours before. For a few brief seconds, her sole desire was to get back to sleep, thinking only of her exhaustion, before a familiar voice whispered a word that stimulated more important thoughts.

"Mother?"

In an instant, Padme fluttered her eyes open, smiling as her son's image came into view. "Luke!" she said with relief. Completely forgetting her tiredness, she sat up and threw her arms around her son. "Are you feeling all right?"

"I'm fine," said Luke, briefly returning the hug. "Physically, at least."

"What happened there?" asked Padme, doing her best to restrain herself from bombarding her son with questions. "Why did the queen shoot you?"

"It's a bit of a long story," said Luke, rubbing an eye. "One that I'd like everyone to be awake for."

"Then go ahead and tell it, because everyone's awake," said a voice from the other bed.

Padme grinned to herself as she looked over to see her daughter stretching her arms over her head as she lay in bed, looking tired, relieved, and angry at the same time.

"Leia?" said Luke. "Now how did you wake up so easily? I thought you were pregnant."

"Pregnant and Force-sensitive," replied Leia. "Particularly sensitive to when my brother does something stupid."

Luke groaned. "I already got that from Han, okay?"

Padme brought her knees to her chest. "Luke, why don't you just tell us all about it?"

"All right, as soon as Han gets here..."

"I'm here," said a bathrobe-clad, frazzled-looking Han from the doorway.

"Uh, all right," said Luke. He gave an exaggerated inhale before speaking.

"I have something to tell you guys."


	32. Chapter 32

"My Mother"

By EsmeAmelia

AN: What, is there some sort of law that I can only update this story once a month?? Well, anyway, here's another transitional chapter, sorry it's shorter than usual. My mind's bogged down right now.

Chapter 32

For a long time after Luke finished telling of his "adventure" at the palace and the revelations the queen had given him, no one said anything. Han was fiddling uneasily with his bathrobe cord as he sat on the foot of Leia's bed, seeming to make a point of not looking up at Luke. On the other end of the bed, Leia still had the blankets covering her legs as she sat against her pillow, her eyes wide as she stared silently at her brother. As for Padme, she was hugging her knees, unsure if she was feeling compassion or disgust for the queen.

"So..." Leia said, sounding like she was desperate to start a conversation, "...we know the queen suffered a tragedy at the hands of the Rebellion...but now what? What does she want us to actually do with this information?"

"Isn't it obvious?" said Han. "She wants us to shut it and get the hell off her planet."

Padme shook her head at her son-in-law. "Well that isn't an option. We're not leaving until they either join the New Republic or I become convinced that they don't need us."

"Then it looks like you'd better start convincin' yourself that they don't need us," said Han. "Otherwise, we're gonna be here a while."

"I don't think she wants us to leave yet," Luke offered.

Han and Leia gave him looks of disbelief, like they thought he still hadn't completely recovered from the stunray. "Uh, kid," said Han, "if she doesn't want us gone, then why'd she go to the trouble of shootin' you and tellin' you all about how evil the Rebellion is?"

"She's unsure," said Luke. "We both fascinate and anger her. She's trying to think of us as an enemy, but now that she's actually met us, she's growing confused."

The looks of disbelief worn by his sister and brother-in-law didn't fade.

Luke tried to elaborate on his statement. "Come on, think about what she did. She had me in her grasp, under her command. She could have very easily used me as a pawn to get you to leave, telling you that the only way I'd be released would be if you left...but she didn't."

Padme pinched her flowered blanket, unwillingly imagining it was Rianna's skin, then immediately asking herself what was wrong with her. She had just heard that the queen suffered the loss of her father, after all - why was her main reaction one of anger? Was it because she had shot Luke? Because she had fiercely defended Palpatine? Or was it because Luke had expressed suspicion that she was Force-sensitive and heading for the dark side? Whatever the answer was, any compassion she was feeling for the queen's losses was mixed up with anger.

"So Luke..." she said carefully, "...have you made any conclusions about whether or not she's Force-sensitive?"

Luke gave a slow nod. "I'm almost completely certain that she is." His shifted his weight uneasily, communicating what didn't need to be spoken. The idea of Rianna turning to the dark side seemed to be floating above their heads, never fading, like it was something they knew would happen regardless of what they did.

Padme found herself sighing. "So what do we do?"

Han shrugged in frustration. "I dunno, you're the lead ambassador here. Seems that's for you to answer yourself." He leaned back, resting his weight on his hands. "Definitely not for the loudmouthed Corellian who's prone to outbursts during political meetings.

Luke smirked at Han's remark while the lead ambassador sighed again, kneading at her blanket. "Well what if I don't want to?" she said.

Leia shifted her weight, creaking her mattress and turning all heads towards her. "Mother," she said softly, "it sounds like she needs us. Whether she _wants_ us or not, both she and her planet are in serious trouble here. Perhaps we can save her."

Padme felt an urge to bury herself under the covers. "Save her?" she said in a voice that was close to a shout. "I couldn't even save my own husband from the dark side - how can I save a stranger who believes Palpatine is some sort of god?"

The room was silent for a few seconds - the sort of seconds that seem to defy the laws of times and pretend to be hours.

"You have to try, Mother," Luke finally said. "We all do."

------------------------

Despite the pangs of carrying two unborn yet hungry babies, Leia didn't feel like eating her breakfast. She stirred her food around with her fork, taking an occasional bite for the sole purpose of not worrying the family. Her private Alderaan nightmares were haunting her in consciousness - one particular image overshadowing all.

Bail - the face she had rubbed as a child as she sat in his lap, the man who had guided her in her career as a teenager, the senator who had been her role model as an adult - exploding in a sudden burst of flame, changing from her father to absolutely nothing in a matter of a few seconds, but those few seconds always lingered in her dreams. His skin would turn charcoal-black and fray off his body as if it were nothing but paper. His blood would flow out of the cracks in what was once his skin, first a horrible deep red, then an unbearable dark brown. His scream would seem to pierce the space around him, followed by empty, terrible, finalizing silence.

She wondered if Rianna ever had such dreams about her own father.

Leia's stomach churned, but not from the babies. Although Luke had been the one to receive the news, Leia felt like the queen's message had been directed specifically at _her, _another person who had suffered a very similar tragedy. Perhaps she was telling her, in a roundabout way, that she was _not_ insensitive to Alderaan's destruction and at the same time pleading Leia not to be insensitive about the people on the Empire's side who had lost their lives.

Perhaps, with her new knowledge of the common ground they shared, Leia would be the one who could help Rianna move on.

That notion was what finally stimulated her to finish her breakfast.

--------------------------

"No, I do not believe you are fit to make a fair judgement about my planet's needs," Queen Rianna said firmly. She was in the midst of her second meeting with the ambassadors, and despite the newly-revealed facts about her, her stance was still as firm as it had ever been. "You have, after all, only been here a few days - what right do you have to say that joining the New Republic is the only way to help us?"

Padme gave an annoyed sigh from her seat in front of the queen. This negotiation had been going on for nearly an hour without getting anywhere. "Your Highness, I consider this planet my home as much as you do. I come here not merely for the purpose of adding another planet to the New Republic, but because I genuinely want to help you." She felt like she had exhausted all possible variations of this statement by now.

Rianna's painted face refused to lift its glare off of the ambassadors. "But the fact still remains that you have only been here a few days. If your intentions are truly not merely for the benefit of your New Republic, then why are you so entirely convinced that joining with it is the only way to get ourselves out of our situation?"

"Your Highness, unlike you, I remember the days of Naboo's glory when it belonged to the old Republic," Padme persisted. "It's hardly fitting to say that I have only been here a few days when this was my home for twenty-seven years."

"That may be true, but you must also take your extended absence into account," Rianna said simply. "You can't naively assume that nothing changed during that time."

"I _don't_," Padme insisted, betraying the offense she took at the queen's accusation.

"Your Highness," interjected Leia from her seat next to Padme, "may I ask you something?"

The queen's face tightened as she looked at the younger ambassador. "What is it?"

"Your Highness, out of curiosity," said Leia, her serious face embraced by her thick buns and green hairdress, "when you had my brother here yesterday, why did you let him go? You could have kept him as a hostage so we would leave only to get him back, but you let him go. Why?"

Luke shifted uncomfortably in his seat. This time, he was the only one accompanying the ambassadors – Han and Chewie claimed that they needed to work on the Falcon, though everyone knew the real reason the pilot and copilot stayed behind was probably because Han didn't feel welcome in the palace after what happened last time.

Rianna's face softened a bit. "I didn't want us to become enemies. Holding your brother as a hostage would only confirm in your minds that all Imperials and their followers are soulless evil."

"Palpatine _was_ evil," Leia insisted, "but that doesn't mean his followers are." She stared directly at the queen. "I don't want us to be enemies either. Believe me, I understand the tragedy you have suffered. You and I each lost a father to an undiscriminating destruction."

Rianna's glare returned. "Yes, but out of the two of us, only one of us had a direct hand in one of the 'undiscriminating destructions,' as you put it." Her lips gave a hint of a smirk. "Quite a fancy term there, Ambassador - did you make it up yourself?"

"Your Highness, may I remind you that the Death Star was a military target?" Leia persisted. "One that was capable of exterminating millions of lives - and did."

The tiny quiver Rianna's lips gave when the subject matter reached Alderaan returned. "How many times must I repeat that I am _not_ defending the Death Star's purpose and did _not _approve of destroying Alderaan or any other planet? You may not believe me, Ambassador Organa Solo, but I am very sorry for your planet."

"So exactly what are you defending?" said Leia. "You seem to be contradicting yourself quite a bit."

Rianna clasped her hands in her lap. "If the Imperials are hypocrites, the Rebels are no better. They agree that such mass killing is an act of evil, yet they participate in such a mass killing themselves."

Leia's face scrunched, attempting to calm her anger. "May I remind you _yet again_ that the Death Star was capable of exterminating millions of innocent lives?"

"So you're telling me that your troops were completely incapable of sneaking onboard the Death Star and deactivating it from the inside?" the queen retorted. "Your husband did quite a nice job getting on the station, and your General Kenobi was able to deactivate the tractor beam - why couldn't he have done more? That way, you could have saved your Rebellion without exterminating all aboard."

"You are naive," Leia nearly hissed. "Do you really think a mere deactivation would have stopped Palpatine from fixing it? Don't forget that he _rebuilt_ the entire Death Star after the first one was destroyed." She took a deep breath before continuing. "Your Highness, I'm not saying that I approve of your father's death, nor am I saying that he was evil or anything of the like. You have suffered a lot and I sympathize, even though I know you have a very good reason not to believe me. Clearly there is no easy way to say this, but had we not destroyed the Death Star, there is no telling how many innocents would have lost their lives."

"Exactly, there is no telling," said Rianna, her body stiff and her voice shaking a bit, as if she felt that she was losing the battle. "Perhaps it would not have been used on any other innocent planets, you don't know."

"Do you _honestly_ still think that's true after what they did to Alderaan??" Leia snapped, her anger once more heating up.

"ENOUGH!!" Padme said suddenly, her voice coming out much louder than she was intending, but it achieved her goal of getting both Leia and Rianna to momentarily cease their argument and look at her.

"Endlessly debating about the Death Star is not going to solve anything," she continued. "Neither the destruction of Alderaan nor the destruction of the Death Star is directly relevant to this situation."

The queen's face relaxed, almost looking like it was smiling, yet whether it was an impressed or a sarcastic smile, Padme couldn't tell. "You're quite forceful, Ambassador Amidala. It's no wonder why you were able to defeat the Trade Federation."

Padme fixed her eyes on Rianna, hoping to lead her away from her anger at the Rebellion. "Your Highness, I realize that this planet has changed greatly during my absence, which is why my daughter and I intend to explore it. We wish to talk not only to you, but to your people. Let us get to know them as well and see for ourselves what your situation is like."

"You sound as if you wish to conduct an inspection," said Rianna.

"Not an inspection, Your Highness," Padme quickly responded. "We merely want a firsthand account of how your people are living instead of just a secondhand one from you. Your duties as a queen, after all, are to serve your people."

Rianna's mouth twitched, as if she sensed that the ambassadors didn't have faith in her ability to rule. "I understand your concerns, Ambassador, but wouldn't such an embarkment interfere with our negotiations?"

"Not necessarily, Your Highness," Pooja cut in, much in the same manner as she had the day before. "After all, how can she help our people if she hasn't seen them?"

"Your Highness," Padme continued, "with your permission, we would like to bring some of the

people we find to speak to you."

"Here?" Rianna said, her voice betraying a hint of nervousness.

"Yes," said Padme. "I want you to know that we do not wish to _force_ you to join us. We merely believe that joining us will help you and your people, but if we become convinced otherwise, we will leave." She leaned her head forward slightly. "We are keeping open minds, so you should too."

Pooja reached over from her seat next to the throne and gently touched the queen's hand. "She is right, Your Highness. What is the sense of negotiations if we are not willing to listen to each other."

The voice of her advisor seemed to affect Rianna the way throwing a treat affects a pet - her glare momentarily diminished and she turned to smile at Pooja. "Quite right, Pooja." She turned back to face the ambassadors. "All right, I will allow you to bring representatives of the people here. However, it will be unlikely to change my mind about this." She nodded at the women. "We will continue this discussion tomorrow."

Padme, Leia, and Luke rose from their seats and bowed at the queen, but before they could turn to leave, Rianna once again had one more thing to bring up.

"Skywalker," she said, "may I see you for a moment?"

Luke's eyes widened. "Again, Your Highness?"

"Yes," said Rianna. "Come over here for a second."

After swallowing and giving a brief glance to his mother and sister, Luke hesitantly stepped up to the throne, this time prepared to defend himself if she should try to shoot him again.

"I've thought about the things you told me yesterday," Rianna said in a low voice, "and after talking with your cousin, we have both decided that this will be for my benefit."

"What?" asked Luke.

Rianna swallowed, her fingers curling in her lap before she spoke. "Skywalker," she whispered, "I want you to teach me about the Force."

AN: I HOPE that the next chapter will be up quicker. Thanksgiving break will give me a BIT of time to work. Until then, you can check out my new short story "Invitation" if you want. :)

PS: I've recently put up a brand new Star Wars fansite. The link is in my profile. If you want to visit and sign the guestbook, I'd be very grateful. :) Or if you want, you can send your fics for consideration to be put up on my site. :)

PPS: I've been accepted into a Walt Disney World internship for next semester! I'll be living and working at WDW for four months, starting in January. So if this fic's not finished by then (and I doubt it will be...), just be aware that updates will probably be really, really slow then. (But I WILL NOT abandon this fic, I promise!)


	33. Chapter 33

"My Mother"

By EsmeAmelia

AN: UGH, YET ANOTHER MONTH WITHOUT AN UPDATE!!! Well, hopefully I haven't lost all my readers. Winter's break's here, so I can work to my heart's content until January 15th, when I leave for Disney World. I'll be bringing my laptop, but I have no idea how much time I'll have to actually work. Anyhoo, thanks as always to all the reviewers! We're at 899 now - closer and closer to a thousand!

Chapter 33

"Well Luke, if you want my honest opinion, this is a bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, BAD idea," Han said when Luke told him of Rianna's request to teach her about the Force.

"I knew you would say that," Luke sighed. The group was seated around the Falcon's lounge to give Han and Chewie the information about the second meeting with the queen.

Han gritted his teeth. "Look kid, if she's this nasty when she _doesn't_ know how to use your Force thingy, how nasty is she gonna be when she _does?_ Maybe she'll start throwin' stuff at us without usin' her hands - or worse."

Leia nodded. "I know you all think I'm incapable of saying this, but I agree with Han."

A grin suddenly flashed on Han's face. "Did ya hear that, everybody?" He walked over to Leia's seat and put his hands on her shoulders. "Mark this day in your datapads - the princess actually admitted that I'm right."

Leia grabbed her husband's hand, wearing a cheeky smile. "Mark this day in your datapads - the pilot's actually right about something for _once._" She gave him a light kiss on the knuckles, dissipating any further sarcasm.

Padme giggled at the couple, but Luke's face remained serious. "Guys," he said, "I know this is taking a risk, but by teaching her to use the Force, I can also teach her how to resist the dark side."

"Yeah?" said Han, his eyes wide with disbelief. "Well that's assumin' that she _wants_ to resist the dark side." He turned towards Padme. "Help me out here, Mom. Big black hole, remember? Everything to do with anger and hate pushes her closer to it?" Without waiting for his mother-in-law's response, he turned back to Luke. "Let's see, what's she done outta anger so far?" He began counting instances on his fingers. "Well since we got here she's talked hell to all of us, shot you, preached endlessly about how great the Empire was, come pretty damn close to defending blowing up Alderaan, and insulted _me_ in front of everyone." He put extra emphasis on his final point, as if that was the most important offense.

"I know," Luke said quickly, "but I've also been around her more than you have. I keep sensing that she's afraid that the dark side will take her over, and that's why she wants me to help her."

Padme swallowed, drumming her fingers on her lap, trying not to let the word _naivety_ enter her head. No, her son wasn't naive to the dark side...after all, he had resisted it and rescued another from it...but he hadn't seen the _process_ of someone turning, as she had. Looking back on that long-ago time, Padme couldn't believe that she hadn't suspected earlier that her husband was turning. He had become more distant, more afraid ..._ not himself_. She should have suspected something was happening to him...why didn't she? Perhaps she did...but she was blocking it from herself, protecting herself from the knowledge.

"Luke," she said suddenly, as if she had just discovered she was in a conversation, "I understand your reasoning, but aren't you worried that by cautioning her against the dark side you might be leading her towards it?"

"Mother..." Luke began.

"Your father was taught to resist the dark side for _years_," Padme interrupted in a sharp voice. "Since he was a _child_, but in the end, it couldn't save him."

"So which would you prefer?" Luke snapped with a sudden burst of anger. "Would you rather I passively allow the queen to turn to the dark side, or that I try to help her resist it?"

Padme sighed and pressed her finger between her eyebrows, kneading at her skin. "Luke, by teaching her to use the Force, you're giving her a great, often devastating power that can easily be misused. It's like handing her a weapon."

"A weapon? Oh, that sounds _great,_" said Han. "Let's give her a nice lightsaber so she can hack off all our arms."

Luke glared at him. "I _don't_ intend to give her a lightsaber. At least not right away."

"Oh, I get it, you're gonna get her to pass some anti-dark-side tests and _then_ give her a lightsaber to hack our arms off. Makes _perfect_ sense, kid."

Luke looked like he was tempted to get out his own lightsaber, but fortunately, Leia offered a distraction. "Luke," she said, trying in vain to keep her voice calm, "if you do this, you'll be giving her the resources she needs to become a Sith."

"Leia, I know that, but..."

"But what?" Leia interrupted in her harsh voice. "Yes, she may be in danger of the dark side anyway, but by training her you'll likely be putting her in _more_ danger. Luke, think about it, are you doing this because you genuinely care about her - or because you want her to be the first student in your Jedi academy?"

For a moment Luke appeared to have been struck silent, something which almost never happened to him. His lips opened into a slit, revealing his teeth, which turned the sound of his breathing into something that resembled a hiss.

"Luke, even you can't be certain of what awaits her," said Padme, trying to comfort her son without further angering her daughter and son-in-law. "Maybe she genuinely does want to resist the dark side - I honestly don't know." She stared directly at her son's eyes, trying not to blink. "However, suppose for a moment that Han is right, and she actually wants to turn? You'll be _helping_ her turn then."

Luke ground his teeth. "Mother, you're not..."

"Force-sensitive?" Padme interrupted. "No, I'm not, but I have seen the dark side overtake someone very close to me - I think that would make me fit to say a few things about it. I know how seductive it is to those who seek knowledge and protection." Her eyebrows furrowed. "I also know how the Force can assist someone hungry for revenge - even when that someone is normally a compassionate person." She swallowed as she touched her throat, giving a not-so-subtle hint of exactly whom she was referring to.

Luke lowered his eyes to his knees. "Mother, don't you think I know all this? I've faced the dark side too."

"Not in the same way I have," Padme insisted.

Luke kept focusing on his knees. "No, not in the same way you have, but then again, you haven't faced it in the same way I have, either." He gradually looked back up. "If the dark side wants her, it will find a means to take her - unless she learns to resist it."

After he finished his statement, it seemed like everyone was waiting for someone else to speak. Padme felt as if the connection between her brain and her mouth had been lost. She wanted to say so much more - she wanted to mention how Luke might have possibly already led Rianna towards the dark side by informing her consciousness of her Force-sensitivity. She wanted to mention how she sometimes wondered if Anakin could have been prevented from turning if they had never found him on Tatooine, if he had never been made aware of how special he was. But nothing was coming out, perhaps because mentioning such things would actually help very little. Whether or not Luke had made a wise decision in informing her, Rianna was now aware of her abilities. All they could do now was work with that.

"She doesn't want to turn, Mother," Luke said hesitantly. "She's confused and vengeful, but she's also afraid of the dark side taking her. Even now, I can feel that."

Leia pushed her large body out of her chair and waddled over to her brother. "Luke, I understand your perspective on this, but if you want to go through with it, don't expect me to help you." She put her hands on her hips. "I'm not going to assist in the creation of a Sith."

Luke sighed. "I don't expect you to, Leia. Our duties lie on different planes right now."

--------------------------------------------

Rianna ran her lips between her teeth as she approached the Jedi who would now be her teacher. She wished she could hide behind the guise of her royal makeup and attire, which would show Luke without uncertainty that she was the one with the authority. As it was, with her showing her plain face and wearing only a simple red dress, they appeared to be equals, something she didn't feel comfortable with.

Luke was standing next to one of the palace's large windows, the sun highlighting his blonde hair and revealing dust on his black shirt. His squinting face gave a smile that looked incredibly fake before he bowed at the queen.

"Your Highness," he said.

"Skywalker," Rianna responded, not returning his gestures.

"You want me to teach you about the Force?" Luke said in a steady voice, not moving away from the window.

"Yes," said Rianna, doing her best to conceal her uncertainty.

"Are you sure?" Luke said, a certain degree of what could be called harshness in his voice as he took a step closer to the queen. "The Force is a world of higher knowledge, but it is also a world of great danger."

"I know," answered Rianna, nearly whispering.

"Jedi must learn how to work with the Force and with themselves," Luke continued. "They must always beware the seduction of the dark side."

"I don't want to be a Jedi," Rianna said quickly, the firmness back in her voice. "I'm sorry, Skywalker, but if this is only a ploy to gain yourself another Jedi, you'll be wasting your time."

"I understand," Luke said calmly. "You don't have to become a Jedi, I want you to know that. If all you want from this is answers to your questions, I can offer you that."

Rianna swallowed as if she had just bitten something without chewing. "I do have many questions..." Her voice trailed away.

Luke took several more steps away from the window. "I'm listening, Your Highness."

The queen's feet wanted to back away from the Jedi who was now close enough to tower over her with his height, but her mind commanded them to stay still. As she looked up at Luke's eyes, trying to see hatred and cunning in them, but finding only a desire to help, hundreds of questions flew through her mind, but one rising above the rest of the blur.

"What exactly is this...Force?" she whispered, compelling herself to acknowledge that she didn't understand this thing she supposedly possessed. Once she had spoken, she clenched her teeth behind her lips in preparation for the laughter that would follow. She pinched her dress, which reminded her that the blaster she normally carried under her skirt was absent at Pooja's insistence. In case she lost control of herself, her advisor had said. Rianna ground her teeth further into each other, to the point where her enamel might have chipped away if she continued for too long.

No laughter came from Luke, only a nod and a tiny smile. "That is a very good question. Let's sit down and talk about it."

Rianna turned around to head towards the chairs on the other side of the room, but a sharp "No" from Luke froze her body, as if his voice had possessed it.

"On the floor," Luke said simply, his tone unstressed and gentle, but at the same time offering no other option for the queen. Rianna wondered briefly if he was using the Force to control her, but she dismissed that idea when she realized that she was choosing to listen to him. She could show her defiance and stomp over to chairs, but the restlessness in her mind and her thirst for answers overpowered any desire to display her authority, even her authority over Luke Skywalker, who had eliminated so many of her people and begun the chain of events that would lead to her planet's downfall.

Luke and Rianna sat down opposite each other on the stone floor, cross-legged, the queen hiding her legs under her skirt. Rianna found herself wishing that she had insisted that they meet in a room with a carpeted floor. She was sure half of her body would be asleep by the time this was over.

A moment or two of awkward silence passed before Luke finally spoke. "The Force resides in every living being," he began. "The energy of the Force surrounds and binds everyone and everything. Even a blade of grass carries a bit of the Force."

"If that is so, then why can't everyone use it?" Rianna asked almost before Luke was finished.

Luke stretched out his index finger, the nail facing the floor, as if he expected Rianna to prick it with a needle. "The answer lies with the smallest living beings in the universe. Midichlorians."

"What?"

"They live in the cells of everyone, carrying the energy of the Force," explained Luke, "but most people carry too few of them to make any significant contribution to their abilities. So these people go about their lives as if the Force doesn't exist. However..." He fixed his eyes on the queen. "...some people carry a large number of midichlorians in their cells, the people commonly known as Force-sensitives. Because of this, they have the ability to harness the Force and use it in ways considered supernatural by most. Do you understand?"

Rianna gave the faintest of nods, her feet already tingling from the floor and her stomach tingling from this idea. "So...you believe I'm one of these Force-sensitives?"

"Yes."

Rianna tapped her fingers on her knee. "Well suppose I do not?" she said with a gradual increase in volume. "Suppose I believe that you are deluded, misguided, and above all, the reason for this planet's downfall." She involuntarily hissed through her nostrils.

Luke twisted his mouth. "If it turns out that I'm wrong about you, then I won't bother you anymore. However, if you are indeed Force-sensitive, I want to help you. You may not believe it, but you're in danger."

"I _don't _believe it," Rianna said, struggling for a harsh tone.

"We will see," said Luke.

Rianna found herself burying her hands in her knees, as if Luke was planning to grab them. "How do you intend to find out?"

Luke's face betrayed a hint of uncertainty. "Well...my mother told me that in the days of the old Jedi Order, they used to test people's blood for a midichlorian count, but I don't have the technology necessary for that..."

"So what makes you think that I'm Force-sensitive if you don't have the technology to find out?" Rianna interrupted.

Luke gave a tiny sigh. "I can feel it. You emanate a uniqueness that I only feel around Force-sensitives."

"It sounds to me that you are mad, Skywalker," Rianna said huffily, wondering how much more of this she could take. Her fingers were itching to clasp a blaster, to feel that wonderful metal of power in her hands. She began rubbing her nails in a vain search for comfort.

Luke grimaced. "Could you please call me Luke?"

"I only call friends by their first names," Rianna said sternly, insuring the distance between them. They were _not_ friends and never would be. They couldn't be.

Luke gave a louder sigh, blowing a strand of hair out of his face as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a tiny stone. "Well we're going to see if you're able to perform a simple Force task." He placed the stone on the floor between them. "I want you to try using the Force to move this stone."

Rianna raised her brows at the dark gray pebble. "Are you going to expect me to do that without any sort of instruction?"

"No," Luke said with a bit of annoyance. "You're not very patient, are you?"

"You are here to teach me about the Force, not judge my character," Rianna nearly growled. Her lungs wanted long huffs of air, but she would not allow them that luxury in the presence of this man for whom her dislike was increasing. She was beginning to wonder how sane she had been when she invited him in.

Luke pointed at the stone. "The Force surrounds this stone. It lies on top of this stone, all around this stone, even between this stone and the floor, like the very air itself. I want you to concentrate on the tiny space between the stone and the floor."

Rianna stared down at the stone, suddenly noticing details that she missed a moment ago, like the bits of light brown dirt wedged in the stone's cracks, the little square point that emerged from it, the different shades of gray that colored it. No, wait, she was supposed to be concentrating on the space between the stone and the floor, not the stone itself...but her body was tensing up at the thought of doing so and possibly confirming that she was Force-sensitive.

"On the space, not the stone," Luke reminded her, as if he could read her mind and tell that she was concentrating on the wrong thing.

Maybe he could...

The queen suddenly felt terrified - an emotion she wasn't used to feeling. The man who killed her father could reach inside her, see her thoughts, read her emotions. Nothing could be kept from him. All she had could be used against her.

But then...if she supposedly had the same powers he had, there could possibly be a way to _block_ his intrusion.

"I don't intend to pry into your private thoughts, Your Highness," Luke urged.

The irony of that last statement would have been laughable if Rianna had been in a more relaxed mood, but it did give her the ability to try doing as he said. She returned to staring at the stone, but this time imagining that she had long, flexible arms attached to her eyes, arms that could slide underneath the stone and show her the tiny cave between the stone and the floor. Her eyes widened, refusing to blink until the dryness forced herself to do so. She imagined herself shrinking down to a microscopic size and walking underneath the stone.

"Very good," said Luke. "Now listen carefully, this next part will be difficult. I want you to continue your concentration on that space, but this time, close your eyes."

"What?"

"Eyes are not necessary for the Force," instructed Luke. "If you close them, you will better be able to let go of your doubts and submit yourself to the Force."

_Submit yourself_. It sounded like Luke wanted her to let go of everything she was, to dismiss her individuality and just become a Force person. Part of her wanted to refuse, to say this was enough and she wouldn't go through with it, but another part of her was thirsting to know what she was, like she was dying in the desert and knowledge was water.

She closed her eyes, continuing to imagine that she was microscopic and walking underneath the stone. Beneath her eyelids, it seemed that her mind could see the fantasy more clearly. In her mind, she was looking up at the gray ceiling of the cave, seeing more dirt that had stuck itself in the stone's cracks. She was reaching up, touching the smoothness of rock that was caked with the roughness of dirt. It was almost as if she could feel it under her actual fingers.

"Stay there for a few seconds," Luke instructed. "Let the Force come to you, showing you what you need to see."

Rianna sat very still, continuing to walk through the cave in her mind, observing the bumps and crevices in the stone. She knew she wasn't really here, she felt her body still sitting on the floor, yet this world was completely clear, as if she were experiencing two different planes of reality at the same time.

Without any sort of warning, her mind's foot tripped on something, causing her mind's self to fall on her stomach. She almost opened her eyes, but something compelled her to keep them shut, telling her that she needed to see what was coming.

The eyes behind her lids were facing the empty, lifeless sockets of a skull, looking back at her with the same void expression that all skulls give, yet she knew the eyes it once had. She knew the light blue eyes that used to inhabit those sockets. She didn't know how she knew it, but she knew who this was.

Her father.

A loud scream emitted from her lips, whether it stayed in her mind or found its way into the real world she couldn't tell. Her eyes snapped open, bringing the tiny stone back into view, no longer the large cave.

"Rianna, Rianna, are you all right??" Luke exclaimed, placing his hands on her arms.

She couldn't speak. It was as if she had left her voice behind in that strange world and was left only with the ability to gasp repeatedly. Her body began shaking intensely, steadied only by Luke's hands.

"I'm sorry, Rianna," Luke said gently. "I didn't know the Force would take you there so early."

_There? Early?_ The questions about what he meant were dissipated by the realization that Rianna was being held by the very hands that had created that skeleton, as well as hundreds of other skeletons.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!!!" she shouted, shocking herself as much as she shocked the Jedi, who quickly let go of her.

"Rianna, listen to me," Luke said hastily. "I'm really really sorry about what you saw, please believe me."

Rianna couldn't move, could scarcely breathe, could only stare at the man, willing him to leave her alone.

"If you're willing to proceed, you're ready to move the stone," Luke continued. "You won't have to close your eyes again, I promise." He leaned closer to her. "Do you think you can continue?"

Rianna knew her face was probably as pale as if she had her royal makeup on, her mind was buzzing, her nerves were still shaking, but somewhere inside her was a determination to press on, to complete this, and that determination pushed her head up and down in a nod.

"All right," said Luke, pointing once more at the stone. "Now, imagine this stone rising up. Press that image into your head as you open yourself up to the Force. Let the Force flow through you and lift the stone."

"How do I do that?" Rianna said in a small, raspy voice.

"You will know," said Luke. "Just do what I told you and you'll see."

After a breath so deep that she became dizzy, Rianna returned to looking at the stone, imagining it rising in the air. She once more fantasized that she had invisible arms reaching under the stone. Her muscles relaxed, as if trying to invite something to pass through them...was that what opening herself up to the Force meant?

Then it seemed as if a burst of air was coming out of her body. No, not air...but _something._ Something like air, but not air, more substantial than air. It felt like it could overpower her, and yet at the same time, like she could control it. Whatever it was, it was rushing out of her and concentrating on the stone. Almost before she could comprehend what was happening, the stone rose up into the air and hovered between Rianna and Luke.

The Jedi smiled widely. "Rianna, you did it!"

With his voice breaking Rianna's concentration, the stone fell to the ground, but that didn't remove the torrent in her stomach or the dizziness in her head. She felt like she was about to vomit.

It was true.

He was right.

Everything she knew about herself had suddenly been shattered.

She was Force-sensitive.


	34. Chapter 34

"My Mother"

By EsmeAmelia

AN: Yay, it's less than a month since I last updated! Thanks to all the reviewers (again)! I'm hoping to get another chapter up before I leave, but I'm not sure how realistic that is. There will be a short story or two coming within the next week, though, so keep looking.

Chapter 34

Meanwhile, Padme, Leia, Han, Chewie, and the droids were once more wandering the streets near Sola's house, this time in the sunlight, when they could better observe the atmosphere of the place. Today, Padme was in search of people. Not special people - regular people who would represent what life on Naboo was like. They were all dressed casually - even the fancy dresser Padme was wearing a gray shirt and brown pants with her hair tied back simply, which she thought would help the citizens connect with her better. Han wore his blue jacket and white shirt, while Leia wore a green shirt and black pants. No one paid them any attention, which was exactly what Padme wanted. She wanted to see her planet without any sort of pretense.

In the sunlight, the place seemed to be normal from a passing glance. There were still the wrecked buildings she had seen on the rainy night of arrival, but when everything could be seen clearly, there seemed to be fewer of them than she had initially thought. No beggars were to be seen, but Padme knew that could be deceiving. In good weather during the day, the homeless could blend in more easily, wandering freely without discomfort.

"So where exactly are these 'representatives' that we're lookin' for?" Han said after they had gone down a few blocks.

"We'll know when we meet them," Leia said cryptically.

"Mistress Leia, if I might inquire, whatever is that supposed to mean?" asked 3PO as he hobbled behind the group. "Is the master plan simply to wander aimlessly around until someone tells us that he is a representative? I do not see what is so brilliant about that idea. If no one here has seen Miss Padme for twenty-three years, how are they supposed to know that they are expected to be a representative?"

"3PO, you're missing the point," said Padme.

Han snorted. "As usual."

Leia laughed, her hands cradling her pregnant stomach. "I hope these kids can't hear 3PO's logic. They might pick up some of it."

"Oh Mistress Leia, do you wish me to teach your children about logic after they are born?" said 3PO, oblivious to Leia's insult. "I shall be happy to."

R2 beeped snootily at the protocol droid, to which 3PO only responded with, "Oh my goodness!" The others thought it best to not ask what the astro droid just said.

After walking a bit more, Padme was beginning to feel that it was time to approach someone, but as for who it would be, she was still undecided. She considered perhaps entering a restaurant or other public place where people might be more open to be interviewed, but a place like that might only attract a specific group of people and not produce a representative sample.

"You! The ambassador!" a high voice exclaimed out of the crowd, seeming to come from a group of four women walking parallel to the family. Padme was unable to place which of them had called to her until one of them began running towards her, waving excitedly as if greeting an old friend.

"The ambassador!" she repeated. "Do you remember me?"

Padme raised a brow as she studied the young woman - her clumpy dark blonde hair tied behind her ears, her round cheeks, her gray eyes - wondering where she could have seen her before. As the ambassador ran her eyes down the woman's worn green shirt and brown skirt, the stranger pulled a New Republic ten-credit bill out of her pocket, instantly revealing who she was.

The beggar she had met on their first night on Naboo.

"Remember me now?" the woman asked.

"Yes," said Padme, a smile breaking onto her face. "So you've still got the money?"

"It's no good for anything else right now, so I'm saving it to buy something special when it is," the woman explained, waving the money in front of Padme's face.

"Nia, who's this?" asked one of the woman's friends as she approached the two of them.

"Just a friend," said Nia. "A friend who just might be able to save us."

Padme felt her face warming up at that statement, not from flattery, but from concern that she might disappoint them.

"Say, would you like to come over to our place?" Nia continued, raising her head to face Padme's entire group. "All of you?"

"Your place?" asked Padme, suddenly feeling foolish for assuming that this woman was homeless. Begging for money didn't necessarily mean that a person lacked _everything_.

"Yes," said Nia. "I'm afraid it's not the fanciest place you've ever seen, but there's a roof over our heads. Perhaps we could help you in your mission. Would you like to come?"

After a glance back at her family and getting nods from the others, Padme turned back to the woman with a wider smile.

"We'd love to," she said.

----------------------

On the way to Nia's home, Padme introduced herself and her family, to which Nia and her three companions all exclaimed, "You're THE Senator Amidala?" in unison, making Padme a bit uncomfortable. She hoped that she could live up to their expectations of her.

Nia introduced her three companions as Hella, Cre, and Senon, the latter of whom she proudly announced was her sister. Senon had the same dark blonde hair as her sister, but the other two sported hair of deep black - Hella wore hers in small braids while Cre wore it down, where it dropped to just below her shoulders. All except Nia wore shorts of dark brown and shirts of varying shades of blue.

Upon reaching the women's home, Padme had to restrain herself from shouting, for it was a building she once knew. She instantly recognized the five-story-high round building with the cream-colored walls and domed roof - only back when she knew it, it didn't have chipping paint or sealed-up windows. She blinked as if something was stuck in her eye, for an instant wondering if she was mistaken, but looking longer at the building only confirmed that she was right.

"This used to be a hospital, didn't it...?" she asked softly.

Nia nodded. "It _used_ to be - until the queen was forced to close it in order to pay her numerous debts."

"You know this place, Mother?" asked Leia.

Padme's head trembled as she gave a nod. "It's...the hospital where I was born."

----------------------

"You were really born here?" Leia asked in a hushed voice when the group entered the building, bringing an abandoned lobby into view.

"Yes," Padme said in the same hushed voice as she surveyed the room that looked so different and yet so much the same. The front counter was the same white oval with the same chair behind it, but lacking the computers and other equipment on top of it. The chairs were still arranged around the waiting table, but their once bright red had faded to what was more like a reddish brown. The holos that once decorated the walls were gone, leaving a blank yellow surrounding the room with occasional chips.

"I'm afraid we don't have much power here," said Senon. "I'm pretty good at hot-wiring stuff, but we get a lot of blackouts."

"How did you come to live here?" Leia asked, protectively holding her stomach, as if she thought being in a hospital would stimulate early labor.

"It was really Nia's doing," said Cre, sinking into one of the worn chairs.

"Oh really?" said 3PO. "Well I must say that she does not appear to be very intelligent if she prefers living in an abandoned hospital to living in a house. Hospitals are said to have quite unpleasant living conditions for humans - I don't see why anyone would choose to live in one..."

"3PO, SHUT UP!!" Leia, Han, and Padme shouted in unison, making the other three jump back slightly.

"Sorry about our droid," Padme said to Nia. "He's lacking in some of his social skills."

R2 whistled loudly in agreement.

"Oh dear," said 3PO, "I shall begin downloading more social instructions at once."

"It's all right," said Nia, grinning sheepishly. "With all the medical droids I've had to work with, I know how it is."

"How'd you ever keep your sanity?" said Han, only half-joking.

"Not easily," said Nia. "Have a seat, I'll tell you about how we ended up here."

The humans and the Wookiee obeyed her, although Chewie, upon discovering that the seats weren't intended for Wookiees, ended up sitting on the floor, the disdain for which he expressed in rather explicit language. Padme was glad she and Han appeared to be the only ones who understood him.

"Back during the Empire days, I used to work here," Nia began. "Yes, I was a doctor. Hard to believe that a doctor would end up begging for money on the streets, isn't it?" She gave a forced giggle, as if hoping that the unlikeliness of her situation would produce sympathy.

"What kind of doctor were you?" asked Leia.

Nia gave a knowing smile, eyeing Leia's stomach with particular interest. "I delivered babies."

Leia smiled back at her with slight awkwardness. "I'm sorry, but I'm only in my sixth month - I don't know if we'll still be here in three months."

"I could tell," said Nia. "I just like seeing a pregnant stomach - it reminds you of how life is a miracle."

"I bet you said that to all your patients, didn't you?" Leia said, the awkwardness in her smile disappearing.

The former doctor merely grinned.

"All right," said Han, patting his wife's shoulder, "we talk about pregnancy a lot at our house. Could ya maybe get back to the story?"

"Of course," said Nia "Anyway, as I was saying, I once worked here, back when it was open. But then..." She crossed her legs, showing her worn shoes. "...then came the war. Soon after the first Death Star was destroyed, our planet began to suffer financially. More and more companies began to side with the Rebellion, so they refuse to sell goods to or accept goods from Naboo."

"I know that," said Padme.

Nia gave a humorless snicker through her nose. "Of course, things got even worse after the Rebels won the war. Now the planet is basically surviving entirely on borrowed money, so in order to pay those debts, sacrifices must be made, or so the queen puts it. About a year ago, she cut off the funding for this hospital and I lost my job."

"Why would she do that??" exclaimed Leia. "Why close down a _hospital_ to pay back a loan?"

"I knew she was an idiot, but I didn't think she was _that_ idiotic," mumbled Han.

"Well, she's just seventeen," said Cre, "and hell, she was even younger when she took the throne. She may be a pain in the ass, but you can't really expect her to..."

"Tell that to my mother-in-law who took the throne at age _fourteen_," Han interrupted, pointing over at Padme.

"All _right!"_ Padme said sternly, holding up her hands as if they were barriers that would stop an argument. "Nia, please continue."

Nia shrugged. "Answering your question, there's a doctor's office not far from here, as well as another hospital not _too_ far away - I guess she thought that was enough...maybe. Or maybe she was in a state of complete desperation, I don't really know. In any case, this place closed."

Leia wet her lips, running her hand over her stomach. "But...how did you end up living here? I mean, no offense, but didn't you have a savings account or something? And what about your old house?"

Nia glanced uneasily to the side as a sigh came out of her lips. "Well...I did have both a savings account and an apartment...but unemployment benefits don't exist here. I tried to get a new job, but nowhere I looked had any positions open for me."

"Not even at that other hospital?" asked Padme.

"No," said Nia. "I found that job experience is useless if there's no room for you. And I'm only twenty-six - the finite amount of money in my savings had only been accumulating for a few years. My pay at the hospital wasn't that great, anyway. You may think that doctors get paid generous amounts, but that's on planets that aren't struggling to make ends meet. Soon my money was drained by paying high taxes and higher rent and I got thrown out of my apartment."

Senon nodded. "My story's similar, except I was studying to be a technician and got thrown out of school because I couldn't pay my tuition. And since I was sharing an apartment with Nia...well, I got kicked out with her. And before you ask, no, our mother couldn't help us."

"Why not?" asked Padme.

Senon clasped her hands. "Because she died, a long time ago. We thought we'd have an inheritance, but we discovered that she had next to nothing."

"Apparently she was practically penniless without telling us," added Nia through a sigh.

A second or two of unexpected silence followed that statement, like she had tranced everyone's thoughts to delay their speech.

"I'm sorry," Padme finally said, cutting the silence as if with a lightsaber.

"It's all right," said Nia, so quickly that it seemed like she thought the law required her to say that. "It was a while ago. After Senon and I found ourselves homeless, we moved into one of those temporary shelters, where we met Hella and Cre." She nodded at the two dark-haired women. "They've been down on their luck much longer than we have."

"I prefer the term 'society's not ready for us,'" said Hella, flashing a grin creepily similar to Han's lopsided smile. "You know how it is - people are scared of individuals."

"Yup," said Han, mirroring her grin. "Specially when they want you to stick to their moral code."

Leia poked him in the arm, signaling to her husband that he was in danger of receiving a lecture when they got home.

"I like you," Cre said to Han. "Shame you're married."

Leia glared at them, to which Cre quickly responded, "Don't worry, Your Highness. Just cause I'm a street gal don't mean I've got no respect for marriage."

"They've got respect for more than just marriage," added Senon. "I don't think we would've survived that shelter without them."

"They even taught us how to beg," said Nia, winking at Padme.

After a shared giggle with her companions, Hella said, "Once we got kicked outta that shelter, Nia had that crazy idea that we could all move in here. Thanks to her knowledge of this place and her sister's hot-wiring, we got in. So there you have it, we got a roof over our heads."

"Aren't you worried that you'll be found out?" asked Leia.

"Nah," said Cre. "I don't think they're planning on doing anything here anytime soon. That takes money, which the queen can't afford."

After Cre finished, Padme unexpectedly rose from her seat and began walking around the room as if in a trance. Her hand ran over the bumpy paint, remembering her frequent visits during her days as queen, how she once considered this the best hospital on the planet before the years did their damage.

"Mother?" Leia asked, joining her mother's side. "What are you doing?"

"Just remembering..." said Padme. She turned to face her expectant daughter, her eyes focusing on her belly. "You know, I once wanted you and Luke to be born here."

"Really?"

"Yes," said Padme, turning once more to the wall she was still rubbing. "I knew the doctors here could be trusted to keep my secret, and I wanted you to be born on the planet I knew to be home. But that was before..."

She kept rubbing as her daughter put her hand on her shoulder, as if under the paint there would still be a holo of the lake, or of one of the doctors, or of a bird, or something, some sign that there was still life here besides the four beggars taking shelter. It wasn't until Leia turned her mother's body around that Padme was able to let go.

Their new acquaintances stared up at her from their seats, as if silently willing Padme to save them, to give them their lives back, or perhaps let them have lives for the first time. But in order for that to happen, they might have to contribute to their own saving.

"Guys," Padme said after a breath, "I think you might be able to help us..."


	35. Chapter 35

"My Mother"

By EsmeAmelia

AN: Greetings from Florida! I just arrived at Disney World yesterday and I've been spun in circles since then. However, I did manage to finish this. Yes, I know it's a short chapter, but I wanted to give you guys something now because I have NO IDEA when the next one will be up. Thanks to all the reviwers! We're almost at a thousand!

Chapter 35

It was in the dark hours of morning that almost no soul wants to be awake for, but Pooja found that she couldn't stay in bed any longer. She had barely slept, instead spending most of the night worrying about Rianna. Since her first Force lesson the day before, the queen had said almost nothing, as if her mind had retreated into another world. Any attempts to get her to talk had only resulted in maybe three words. Pooja was left to only imagine what her mind was going through. She was starting to wonder if she had made a mistake by encouraging Rianna to learn about the Force. Perhaps this decision had only made things worse.

These thoughts that had disturbed her night were now driving her to check on her queen. Maybe not exactly check on her, but just walk past her door and see if she heard anything, though she didn't know exactly what she would be listening for. Perhaps she was doing this only to quench her own anxiety, but even if that was so, she felt like her queen needed her.

She expected to pass the door and hear only silence, but it turned out that she couldn't have been more wrong. When she was still a good distance away from the door, she heard a cry - a cry that almost sounded like a child's. It took her a moment to even recognize it as belonging to her queen - she didn't think she had ever heard Rianna scream like this before. Even after she identified the voice, it took another moment for her to gain the ability to move.

To her surprise, the door wasn't locked, as if the queen was fearful of being isolated. Upon entering the room, Pooja found Rianna in bed, violently waving her arms every which-way, like she was sinking in an ocean and her instinct was fighting to get to the surface.

"NO!!" Rianna yelled. "NO!! NO!!! NO!!!"

Pooja's eyes dried as she cautiously approached the bed, moving as hesitantly as if she were about to pick up a poisonous snake. "Your Highness?" she whispered.

"NO!!! NO!!!" Rianna continued to shout, her voice cracking as if she were running out of air.

"Your Highness??" Pooja said in a louder voice, grabbing the queen's shoulder.

Rianna's arm shot up, hitting the advisor's face with the force of an attacker.

Pooja did her best to ignore the pain as she grasped Rianna's hand and fumbled to keep it away from her body. "Your Highness??" she repeated, the desperation in her voice increasing along with the volume. "Your Highness?? Rianna?? Rianna, can you hear me??"

"NO!! NO!!!"

Pooja grabbed the queen's shoulder again with her left hand and began shaking her body while her right hand continued to squeeze the queen's still-moving arm. "Rianna, wake up! Wake up! Wake up!"

Finally the arm went limp as the screams abruptly ceased. In the waning darkness, Pooja could make out Rianna's eyes blinking rapidly.

"Rianna?" Pooja asked in a small voice.

With the realization that her advisor was beside her, Rianna's arm came to life once again, but this time thirsting for touch and squeezing whatever it came across first, which was Pooja's upper arm.

"P-P-Pooja..." she said through a series of gasps.

Pooja's fingers inched up her queen's arm in soothing strokes. "Are you all right?"

Rianna's breath continued to come out in pants. "I can't...I can't...I can't..."

"You can't what?" Pooja breathed, holding Rianna's arm like it was the only thing keeping her alive.

"Can't do this...can't face him...can't...can't...can't..."

Pooja carefully inched her way onto the bed next to the queen. "It's all right," she whispered. "It was a nightmare."

Rianna's breath gradually decreased its speed. "Why?" she said, her voice carrying a rasp. "Why did the Force choose me?"

"Is the Force conscious?" asked Pooja. "Does the Force really 'choose' people?"

"I don't know - ask Skywalker!" Rianna said with sudden harshness. "After all, you thought it was good for him to teach me of this...this THING." Her breathing began to increase its tempo once again. "_Something_ wants me...it's calling for me...I can feel it..."

It took all of Pooja's willpower to stop her eyes from widening and betraying the fear within her. She gathered the queen in her arms in what was likely a vain attempt to soothe her. How she wanted to say something that would comfort her, but this was something she couldn't understand. She knew nothing of what it was like to be pursued by the dark side, only of what happened when it consumed someone.

"What did you dream?" she asked hesitantly, knowing Rianna probably wouldn't be willing to reveal it.

Rianna made a noise that sounded like she was attempting to talk, but whatever answer she would have given was barricaded by sobs that were becoming louder with each succession. As sunlight gradually crept into the room, the advisor continued to embrace the queen, her arms becoming a sanctuary in which the tears could freely flow.

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"So what exactly am I supposed to do again?" Nia asked Padme. She and her three roommates were joining the ambassadors in the palace hall, serving as Padme's first representatives of the people.

"Just be yourself," said Padme. "Tell the queen your story."

"Uh, isn't that kinda, you know, stupid?" said Cre. "If we tell her where we've been living, which is technically illegal, we'll be kicked out and back on the streets if we're lucky, in prison if we aren't."

"Well you don't need to tell them that part," said Padme. "Just talk about how you were forced out of your homes."

"Or in some cases, how we never had 'em," cracked Hella, her hair bouncing as she spoke. "We could shock the public with some of our stories."

Han, who had opted to tag along just to see Cre and Hella in action, shot his cocky grin at the street woman. "I look forward to hearin' them."

Leia tugged gently on his arm. "Just don't look forward to them _too_ much - or you won't be around by the time they speak."

Han raised his index finger at his wife. "Watch it, or I'll kiss you in front of the queen just to show I ain't lookin' forward to 'em too much!"

"Do you really think she'd mind that?" Padme chided.

"_Mother!"_ Leia shouted, trying to sound exasperated but not doing a very good job.

Nia laughed. "You guys are one interesting family."

Luke started to laugh with her, but a sudden presence in his Force senses stopped him before he got more than a snicker. He felt a presence behind a curtain, a presence he could identify, but the feelings coming off of her were far more intense than he'd felt previously. Or perhaps the feelings had been there all along, but she was now more open about them, which allowed him to sense them more strongly.

It also seemed that she was calling out to him, consciously sending him a message to come to her without informing the others, even though she wasn't yet trained enough to do that. Had her subconscious learned that skill on its own? Or perhaps...was someone else teaching her? Or more specifically, some_thing_?

After only a few steps, he didn't think he was close enough to the curtain for her to touch him, but almost by complete surprise, her hand shot out from behind the curtain like a predator's claw, grabbed his face, and pulled him in with her.

"Where was that??" she hissed.

Her face was painted white and her body was adorned in her elaborate royal robes, but she was expressing not the cold personality she used during meetings, but the unsure one she revealed when her makeup was gone. For the first time, Luke could see the merging of her two nearly-separate identities.

"Where was that?" she hissed again, her white face noticeably shaking.

"Where was what?" Luke asked.

Rianna looked like she was about to collapse. "During our lesson," she said in an uneven voice. "Where did I go yesterday?"

AN: Yeah yeah, I'm in love with cliffies, so shoot me. I hope you don't have a heart attack or anything, because I'm going to be very busy during this internship. In the meantime, maybe you'd like to read my new short story "We're Sleeping Too Well." (Sorry, but that story's only gotten two reviews so far. :) )


	36. Chapter 36

"My Mother"

By EsmeAmelia

AN: Hey all! Thanks for reviewing as always.

Chapter 36

Luke was silent and still, even when the queen grabbed his shoulders with a force that felt like she was trying to break his bones. He knew where she had gone only vaguely - how could he ever explain it to her?

"_Where was that??"_ Rianna demanded, shaking Luke's body.

"I don't know..." Luke began, his voice vibrating.

"Don't lie to me, Skywalker!" Rianna shouted, shoving Luke out of her arms like he was diseased. "You know where it was!"

"I meant...I don't know if it has a name," Luke said carefully, his hands beginning to feel hungry for his lightsaber or some tangible means of defense against the queen.

"I don't care if it has a name - just tell me what it is!" Rianna's voice was nearing hysterics as her green eyes flared with both anger and desperation.

Luke's mind was spinning, trying to find a way to word her journey. Where Rianna had gone was beyond the limited world of language - a linguistic expression would only gently touch its meaning.

"It was your cave," Luke said hesitantly.

"What???"

"That's the only name I have for it," said Luke, breathing heavily.

Rianna reached behind her and grabbed a handful of the curtain's fabric, as if needing that to protect her from falling over. "What does that mean?" she said, her voice suddenly in a whisper.

Luke stepped closer to her, his hands slowly reaching out, as if his subconscious thought that touch might help her. "The cave..." he began, "...it's where a Jedi faces his or her greatest challenge."

"I told you I don't want to be a Jedi!" Rianna reacted, her voice once again in a shout.

"That doesn't matter - the Force is testing you anyway."

"Force, Force, Force, is that all you ever talk about??" shouted Rianna, driving her fist into her leg.

"You _wanted_ me to teach you about it," said Luke.

"Not _want_," Rianna snapped. _"Needed."_

Luke thought it best to pretend that she hadn't interrupted. "Rianna," he said, attempting to muster friendliness in his tone, "whether you like it or not, you are Force-sensitive. I know it's a heavy burden for you, and it will be hard to come to terms with it, but I want to help you."

He paused, keeping his hands still, neither reaching for her nor backing away, merely letting his hands be a barrier if she wanted to use it. For a moment the queen's striped lip stirred, beginning the motion required for speaking, but it stilled before any sound emerged.

Luke took this as a sign that he should continue talking. "The dark side of the Force preys on our weaknesses. This cave...or this _thing_...it shows us our weaknesses. Master Yoda told me that in the days of the old Jedi Order, the most difficult trial that a Jedi had to face came from within."

Rianna looked like a bantha caught in a speeder's path at night - her eyes expanded as if she wanted to run away, but some outside element was holding her in place.

Luke's real hand slowly moved over to touch her shoulder, and strangely enough, she didn't flinch this time. "I failed my first trial in the cave too."

Rianna swallowed. "What did you see in there...?"

Luke ran his fingers over her shoulder, her rough blue dress irritating his skin. "Like you, I saw my father, only I didn't know he was my father yet. I fought him in the cave...and I saw myself under his mask."

Rianna squeezed her fingers. "What does that mean?"

"I needed to learn how to accept the truth," Luke explained, "and with that, I needed to learn how to forgive. At least, that's the impression I've gotten from it."

Rianna's lips moved like she was a fish breathing in the water. "And...what does it mean for me?"

Luke lowered his eyes. "I'm not sure yet." He wanted to mention her thirst for revenge and her inability to forgive, but he worried that it would cause her to fly one more to the defensive. If there was any chance of saving her, he needed to invite her in, not push her away.

His hand continued to brush her shoulder, attempting to silently inform her that he meant the best for her. "Rianna, you never really believed that Palpatine and Vader were the only ones who could use the Force, did you?"

The queen said nothing, but the guilty expression on her painted face told Luke the answer even without the Force. She had wanted to believe the things that Palpatine told her, but her head told her otherwise.

"I knew about the old Jedi Order..." Rianna whispered, sounding like it was to herself, "...but I was told they were all dead..."

"Most of them were," said Luke. "Right before the Empire formed, nearly all of them were killed." He stared at the queen's large eyes. "By Palpatine."

He prepared himself for Rianna to shove him away in denial, but that proved unnecessary. She merely stared ahead, seeming to be looking not at Luke but at the air behind him, as if he had told her something that she had subconsciously known for a long time.

Luke slowly moved his finger to the red stripe on Rianna's lower lip. "Rianna...what was your father like?"

Whatever trance that had held Rianna in place was abruptly broken by those words. Her hand shot up and swatted Luke across the face, the sting causing him to remove his hand from her.

"How _dare_ you!" she screamed. Before Luke could give any sort of response, she stormed out of the small curtained sanctuary.

Luke stared after her, breathing heavily as he rubbed his sore cheek. He almost failed to notice when his mother stuck her head through the curtain.

"Luke, what was that all about?" she asked.

Luke sighed, looking at his finger and seeing a red dot from Rianna's lipstick, which in turn made him wonder what possessed him to touch her lip. "She's struggling...a lot. I don't know how to help her if she's not willing to be helped."

Padme stepped through the curtain. "Luke, the very fact that she's letting the man she blames for her father's death and the fall of her planet talk to her indicates that she's getting better. You can't expect her to heal in just a few days."

"I know," said Luke. "But...what if you're right, and I really am pushing her towards the dark side?" He stared at the magenta curtain behind his mother, nearly seeing Rianna running away with moist eyes, whether from the Force or his imagination he couldn't tell.

Padme reached over and grabbed her son's artificial finger. "I don't know how to answer...you know how we feel about this."

"Yes," Luke answered, glancing down at the floor, not looking up until he felt his mother's hand on his cheek.

"Luke," she said, "maybe I could talk to her. Not in a meeting, but in a simple conversation."

"Would she agree to that?" asked Luke.

"I don't know," said Padme, stroking Luke's cheek with one hand and twirling her own hair with the other. "But I think you scare her. She might be a bit more open with me."

"But Mother..."

"Luke, if we want to save her from the dark side, we should work together. You can continue teaching her about the Force, but maybe I could help her be more willing to listen to you."

Luke rubbed his fingers together in an attempt to get the lipstick off his skin, which did little to help. "Mother, I know you all think that this is a big mistake, but..."

Padme gently put her fingers on Luke's lips. "Leia and Han and I have been talking about it...a lot. I can't say that I like it, but you're right - she knows she's Force-sensitive and we can't do anything about that. We can only work with what we have."

Luke nodded, trying to hide the doubts he carried.

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Han fidgeted in his seat, half-listening to Leia and Padme argue on and on with the queen, seeming to go around in circles. With every attempt the ambassadors made to point out the benefits of joining the New Republic, Rianna would lash out at the Rebellion's morals, and with every criticism of the Empire, Rianna would only point out how the Rebels were just as hypocritical as the Imperials. Han wondered how long it would take one of them to realize that they were doing the same things over and over.

Rianna hadn't made eye contact with Han for the whole meeting, but she certainly wasn't acting like she'd had this traumatic experience Luke told him about the day before. Maybe people who were both Force-sensitive and stubborn could hide their feelings better than others. Or maybe it was just her white face.

He supposed that he really should try to feel sorry for her after what Luke had told him. Probably part of him wanted to, but another part just kept seeing her as this cold woman who couldn't listen to reason or care about her people. His mind vaguely attempted to understand the idea of seeing a vision like that during meditation, but found a barrier, an inability to imagine it. Not being Force-sensitive, he felt that it was impossible to understand this, until he remembered his mother-in-law associating the dark side with something he knew. All right, what did he know that was similar to this vision Rianna supposedly had? Nightmares, maybe? He understood how a nightmare could stay in the mind...but was that the same thing?

In their seats on the left side of the ambassadors, the four representatives looked as uncomfortable as Han was. Cre was pulling her fingers through her thick hair, seeming to think that her tangles were more interesting than the meeting. Han would probably agree. As for Nia, the main representative who would likely be doing most of the talking, Han thought she saw the gleam of sweat on her face, despite that the room wasn't hot in any way. Her hands were clasped in her lap, squeezing each other so tightly that they seemed to be losing a bit of color.

Just when Han was beginning to think he was ready to walk out of the palace, Padme finally made a motion that looked like she was introducing the representatives.

"Your Highness," she said, extending her arm to the four women, "on behalf of your people, I bring you these four to share their stories with you." She nodded at Nia. "This is Nia, a former doctor at one of Naboo's former hospitals, along with her sister Senon and their friends Cre and Hella. I hope that you will listen to what they have to say."

Nia rose like she was in a trance, stepping forward before sinking to her knees. "Your Highness," she said in a low voice, "my name is Nia Herre. You probably haven't heard of me, but you've changed my life." She cautiously looked up at the queen. "May I stand up now?"

"Of course, Nia," said Rianna.

Nia's kneeling leg slid up, pushing her body to her feet. "Your Highness, I was once a doctor in a hospital not far from here, where I delivered babies for a living. I was not rich, but my life was stable"

"Yes," Rianna said without infliction.

"If you need proof, I have my old medical license with me," said Nia.

"That won't be necessary," said Rianna. "I trust that the ambassador wouldn't send me an imposter."

Nia pinched her skirt. "Yes, Your Highness. Anyway, as I was saying, I used to be a doctor, until this planet's unfortunate circumstance forced me out of both my job and my home."

"I'm sorry for you," said Rianna, still without any inflection, as if she thought she had to say it in order to not appear heartless.

_Bitch_, Han thought, suspecting that Nia was thinking the same thing.

"Your Highness, specifically speaking," Nia continued, "it was _you _who forced me out of my job and my home when you closed the hospital where I worked in an effort to pay your monstrous debts."

"Debts caused by the Rebellion, might I remind you?" said the queen.

"I don't care what _caused _them," Nia said in a tone that resembled a snap. "What matters to me is what _they_ caused."

With that kind of wording, Han wondered if Nia had been given any training in political rhetoric, but Rianna seemed unmoved.

"Whether you wish to admit it or not, the Rebels are the reason why we are suffering the way we are," Rianna declared harshly.

"But they don't _have_ to be," Nia responded, sounding like she was struggling not to sound like she was begging for mercy. "Your Highness, I was only a small child when the Empire formed, I don't know what it was like under the Republic, but I know that your stubbornness is ruining your planet. The four of us have to beg for money on the street in order to survive - not because we are too lazy to work, but because we have no choice. It doesn't have to be this way for us."

"I couldn't finish my education because of my lack of money," shouted Senon.

"And Hella and me - we gotta survive by any means necessary," added Cre. "Which, I might add, has gone on much longer than your reign or this planet's downfall."

"The Empire didn't exactly provide for the homeless," said Hella. "If you'd actually do a bit of research you'd see what I mean."

"How'd you like to have three options for survival - stealing, begging, or using your body??" shouted Cre. "Believe me, I'd _love_ to have a real job, but there's none around."

Rianna was silenced for a few moments, the stripe on her mouth twitching slightly. Han wondered if she was finally feeling a little guilty.

"We're not wandering the streets because we think its fun or because we refuse to work," persisted Hella. "It ain't fun, let me tell you that."

Han nodded eagerly from behind them, wishing they could see his act of support.

Rianna continued to stare ahead, appearing either deep in thought or caught in an awkward moment.

"Your Highness, we and many others beg you to do what's best for your people," said Nia.

The glare in Rianna's face awoke and fixed itself on Nia. "And what makes you think that joining the New Republic will affect you?"

"What makes you think it _won't_?" Senon snapped.

"It may interest you to know that there are homeless people on Coruscant as well - which is the capital of the New Republic," said Rianna. "Joining with the New Republic would not necessarily eliminate homelessness on this planet."

"But I'm sure it would _help_," protested Nia.

"She's right," said Leia. "Your Highness, of course there will always be homeless people, but with the financial support of the New Republic, there will be _fewer_ of them, because there will be more jobs available to your people."

Rianna's teeth briefly brushed over her lip as her eyes closed.

"Your Highness," said Padme, "we know you have suffered, but must you drag your people into your suffering with you?"

Rianna opened her eyes. "You make very valid points, but the fact remains that you have brought me only four people. I could probably find four homeless people on Coruscant that wish the Empire still existed if I wanted to. If I am to turn my planet over to your New Republic, I must see a real need to do so."

_So your planet drowning in debt ain't a real need?_ Han wanted to say.

"There will be more coming, Your Highness," said Padme.

Rianna turned to face Nia and her companions. "If you four wish, you may join me for lunch today. Afterwards, we could provide you with some meals to sustain you for a while."

"We would be honored by that, Your Highness," Nia said, her voice betraying confusion.

Leia stepped closer to the throne. "Your Highness, does this mean you are considering joining the New Republic?"

Rianna stretched her neck, revealing that even her neck was painted white. "We will see. For now, you are dismissed."

After the ambassadors and the representatives bowed and turned to exit, Han rose from his seat and shuffled up to the queen, finding himself unable to resist saying one thing to her, even though he had promised earlier to be quiet.

"By the way, Your Worshipfullness," he said, ignoring Leia's glare at him, "you'll notice that I'm _not_ on a leash."

He turned and ran out of the throne room before anyone could say anything.

AN: Since I barely have time to think while working at Disney World, I'd like to know which you would rather have, longer chapters or more frequent updates. I can update somewhat frequently if the chapters are short, but I can make the chapters longer if I don't update as often. So which would you prefer - shorter chapters and more frequent updates, or longer chapters and slower updates?


	37. Chapter 37

"My Mother"

By EsmeAmelia

AN: Thanks as always for reviewing! Almost at a thousand, almost there, almost there...(no, this is in no way begging you guys to review so I'll reach a thousand ;-) ). Well, most people wanted shorter chapters and more frequent updates, but I still can't make any promises either way. Work comes first. :)

Chapter 37

As her son had a few days before, Padme was now attempting to catch Queen Rianna in a non-formal conversation, searching the palace halls for her. What would she say when she located her? That part hadn't been figured out yet, but she trusted that her instincts would know when the time came. The focus now was on locating the queen, which proved to not be too difficult.

Rianna was standing next to one of the high windows, staring out at the city beneath her, her white face appearing deep in thought, the sight of which momentarily stilled Padme. She remembered how she used to do the same thing herself when she was troubled, how the window could connect her to the outside world without forcing her into it.

Perhaps she understood Rianna more than she thought.

She tiptoed toward the window, trying to make her footsteps loud enough to be heard but not loud enough to distract her. As she approached Rianna, she saw her eyes turn to the side for around a second, but she gave no further acknowledgment to the former queen's presence.

"This window was one of my favorite parts of the palace," Padme said carefully.

Rianna inhaled through her nose, raising her head a bit higher as she continued to stare out the window.

"I'd come here when I needed to sort out my thoughts," continued Padme. After another second or two of Rianna refusing to grant Padme the honor of being addressed, the ambassador added, "Your Highness, despite our differences, we have something very important in common - we both care deeply about this planet."

Rianna finally turned her head to face Padme, her green eyes widened. "This planet has changed since you ruled it, Ambassador."

"I know," said Padme, "but the fact remains that this is still my home."

Rianna sighed. "You have a new home now, on Coruscant, with your family, where you don't have to worry about your planet falling apart before your eyes."

"_This_ is my planet," insisted Padme. "Coruscant is merely where I reside."

Rianna's right eyebrow lifted. "I'm afraid the Naboo you think of as home no longer exists. Your Naboo was thriving. Mine is wasting away."

"It doesn't _have_ to," Padme said.

"I know," snapped Rianna. "All we need to do is join the New Republic and then everything will be fine. I would have thought you'd know that political rearrangement doesn't work magic." She turned her body around to face Padme. "Can joining the New Republic resurrect all of our people who have died as a result of the Rebellion?" She grabbed Padme's shoulders. "Lest you think that I am unable to look past my own tragedy, I'm talking here about the _hundreds_ of our people who have lost their lives in the war or as a result of the war's aftermath." Her eyelids lowered halfway over her eyes. "What about _their_ families? What sort of queen would I be if I forced them to join with their enemy?"

Padme sighed. "Well what sort of queen are you if you passively allow your planet to crumble?"

Rianna's mouth open slightly as her hands slipped off of Padme, emitting a breath that sounded like a soft hiss. "Why are you so convinced that joining with your New Republic is the _only _way to save us?"

"I'm not," said Padme, "but I believe it's the best way. But I could be wrong - that is why I'm exploring the planet and talking to your people."

Rianna's lip twitched as her head lowered slightly. "Ambassador, I know you must be thinking that I have no respect for you, but that is not the case." She bowed her head. "Quite the contrary, in fact."

"What do you mean?"

Rianna cautiously brought her eyes back up to meet with Padme's. "You were one of my heroes. I heard so much about you when I was growing up." The right side of her mouth curled upward in the slightest of ways. "When I was appointed, I even promised to myself that I would be as great a queen as the mighty Padme Amidala."

Padme felt her stomach churn, unsure if it was from flattery or awkwardness. She tried not to let the feeling that she was a hero who had betrayed her admirer enter her head.

"You haven't betrayed me..." Rianna said softly, giving Padme a slight twist at the thought that the queen might have unconsciously read her mind with the Force. Was Luke right? Was she being subconsciously trained by the dark side as he feared?

"You're proving yourself to be rich in the quality I admire most," Rianna continued, her black eyebrows rising. "You don't back down under adversity."

Padme tried to think of something to say, but nothing came.

"You're displaying that same persistent spirit I worshiped about you," said Rianna. "The fact that you happen to be using that spirt against me changes nothing about it."

Padme blew a stray hair out of her face. "I'm not using it _against_ you, Your Highness. You needn't take everything so personally."

"And yet you take my viewpoint of your New Republic personally," retorted Rianna.

Padme found she was unable to resist rolling her eyes. "Not your viewpoint, only the fact that you're forcing your planet to suffer because of your viewpoint."

Rianna sighed. "You don't know that for certain yet, do you?"

"No," said Padme, "but I have a pretty good idea."

Rianna shifted her weight as she turned back to the window. "Ambassador, may I remind you that our meeting is over?"

"This is not a meeting," said Padme. "We don't even need to talk about politics. I'd like to get to know you as a _person_."

Rianna merely sniffed.

Padme waited a few moments, trying to see if Rianna would gain the will to answer her. When it became clear that the queen intended to continue staring out the window until she left, Padme decided to try something else.

"You know..." she said with caution, "...my parents died in the war too."

"I know," Rianna said flatly. "Your niece has told me about that."

Padme reached over and ran her finger over the glass, invisibly tracing the outlines of the buildings. "War always causes death and suffering on both sides, you know that. Many times, in order to protect themselves from emotional damage, people fighting in a war will indeed try to convince themselves that the other side is nothing but pure evil." She slowly placed her cold finger on the queen's chin. "But perhaps learning what the individuals on the other side were like could increase understanding."

Rianna was still silent, but her head slowly turned back to face Padme.

"My mother's name was Jobal," Padme said, "and my father's was Ruwee. They wanted my sister and me to have the best childhood possible, but they also wanted us to learn how to live in the real world." She forced herself to smile, though talking about her parents was yanking at her heart. "I was a junior politician for the better part of my childhood, but my parents made sure that I wouldn't miss out on having fun as well." Her smile began to grow more natural. "I remember when I had lessons on my eleventh birthday, my parents walked in right in the middle of class to bring in a cake."

Rianna's eyes almost looked like she wanted to smile back, but her mouth made no motion.

"They died thinking that they had buried their daughter," Padme said, unsure why she was bringing this up. "Your Empire not only killed them, but left them in their suffering for the loss of their child."

Rianna sighed. "Ambassador, I understand how you feel about the Empire. I ask that you understand how I feel about the New Republic."

"I'm trying," said Padme. "Perhaps you can help me."

Rianna looked down, giving the image that she was closing her eyes, shutting herself away from Padme.

"Can you at least tell me his name?" Padme persisted, trying to give her voice an inviting tone.

Rianna stepped backwards, her head looking back up, her eyes widening. She seemed that she was about to run away as she had from Luke, but some intangible force seemed to cease her motion. Her eyes continued to widen until Padme could see redness at the edges of them.

"Lieutenant Gerado Trenn," she mumbled.

Padme held still, unsure what would get the queen to tell her more.

"My...my mother died when I was two and I have no siblings," Rianna forced out in a whisper. "He was the only family I ever knew. I think...I think he was the one who first recommended me to take the throne." She sighed. "Something I don't know if I'm grateful for."

"I understand that," Padme said gently. "I know the burden you have to face."

Rianna's lip shook. "He and I...we were really close. He was opposed to the Rebellion, but I assure you that he wouldn't have wanted to destroy Alderaan. He served on the Death Star because he was _placed_ there. He had no choice." Her eyebrows twitched at the ambassador. "As was the case with most of the hundreds of soldiers on that station, but the Rebellion, who supposedly believes in protecting the innocent, obliterated them along with those who actually planned the Death Star's purpose."

"I know..." Padme said softly. "I wish I knew something to say." Her stomach was jumping as her teeth chewed on her lips until they hurt. What _could _she say? The Death Star needed to be destroyed...she couldn't compromise on that...but at the same time, she wanted to show compassion for those who had lost their lives in its destruction.

"There's nothing to say," said Rianna. "I just ask that you respect where I come from."

"But what if where you come from is destroying your planet?" Padme inquired.

Rianna's breath left her mouth like a breeze as she once more looked down at the stone floor.

"The past leaves terrible pain, but it still remains in the past," Padme pleaded. "What you need to worry about is the future."

The queen slowly looked back up, her white face still. "I am," she said. Before Padme could say anything more, she turned sharply and walked out of the room, her footsteps loudly echoing off the walls.

Padme stared after her, wondering if she could have said anything that would have made her more open, but quickly concluding that she couldn't have. Rianna would have to decide for herself whether or not to tell them anything more. Much like how Leia could not be forced to accept Anakin as her father, Rianna could not be forced to accept the New Republic. Still, Padme felt that this conversation might have helped.

AN: I'd like to promise you that the next chapter will be up really soon, but I can't make those kinds of promises. I'll try my best, though. :)

PS: Something really WEIRD happened while I was perusing the gift shop outside the Star Tours ride at Disney World. I saw this video game where you steal the plans for the Death Star, and in that game you control a Twil'ik mercenary named...Rianna. I was like, "What the...?" I SWEAR I didn't know about that game when I named the queen. But I guess my instincts were correct - it IS a Star Wars name.


	38. Chapter 38

"My Mother"

By EsmeAmelia

AN: YEEEEEESSSSSS!!! YEEEEEEESSSSS!!!! YEEEEEEESSSS!!! ONE. THOUSAND. REVIEWS!!!!!! OMG, OMG, OMG, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!!! (clears throat) Well, I'd like to thank all who made this possible. I still can't believe that this story has so many fans. When I first started I thought no one would like it.

Chapter 38

"I can't believe they actually had this," Padme said as she gaped at the vehicle she had just rented, which now bobbed on the water's surface next to the dock. Leia, Han, and Chewie stood next to her, looking like they were wondering what sort of crazy escapade she was planning.

"Uh, yeah, nice, but _what_ is it?" said Han.

"It's called a bongo," said Padme. "Used for deep underwater transportation. With this thing we can even go through the planet's core."

What? growled Chewie.

"Hold on a sec - ya mean we're goin' through the planet's core?" exclaimed Han.

Padme nodded. "I have friends on the other side of the core who might be able to help us."

Han and Leia looked at each other before Leia gripped her stomach and said,"Is it safe for pregnant women to ride?"

"I think so," said Padme. "Underwater travel is pretty smooth - unless we get attacked by a giant gooberfish or something, but that doesn't happen often." She grinned at her daughter. "And even if that does happen, we've got an experienced pilot to maneuver us out of danger."

"So I'm drivin'?" Han said with his lopsided grin.

"If that's the case, I'm _definitely_ staying behind," Leia said with a groan.

"Uh, I actually meant me," said Padme. "I used to drive these things when I was queen." She eyed her son-in-law, giving him a sly look. "But if you _really_ want to drive, I could teach you how. It's not that different from flying a ship."

"You got yourself a driver," said Han, flashing his cocky grin at Leia.

Leia sighed through her teeth. "You had this planned, didn't you, Mother?"

Padme merely grinned.

---------------------------------

Meanwhile, Rianna sat on her throne, staring out at the empty room. It felt slightly strange to be sitting here wearing a worn shirt and pants with her hair down and an unpainted face, but she felt that she needed to gather her authority before her next Force lesson. She gripped the arms so tightly that her hands began to sweat. Why was she still agreeing to learn about the Force from...from _him? _

Luke cautiously entered the room, once again wearing only black, except for what looked like a silver tube attached to his belt - something Rianna was certain he didn't have last time. It looked somewhat like it could be used as a weapon...why hadn't her guards removed it from him? He carried a bag over his shoulder which probably contained things Rianna wouldn't be happy about.

When he reached the throne, he put down his bag and bowed low at the queen, after which she reflexibly stuck out her hand, holding it limp in front of him.

"Uh, hello, Your Highness," Luke said, giving her hand a confused look.

Rianna stuck her hand out further. "You're supposed to kiss it."

"Why?"

Rianna ground her teeth before talking. "Call it a peace offering, call it an apology for slapping you, call it whatever you want, just do it."

Though he still appeared confused, Luke gently took her hand and kissed her knuckles, which sent unexpected shivers through her nerves. For a split second after his lips left her skin, she felt that she wanted them back, before her rational side took over and reminded her to feel disgusted. She shook her hand rapidly, as if trying to visually inform Luke that the kiss was only etiquette and nothing further - she did _not_ enjoy it.

Luke cleared his throat, looking like he felt as awkward as she did. "Your Highness, are you ready to start?"

Rianna slowly rose from her throne, the elevation of her seat giving the image that she was taller than Luke instead of the other way around. "Yes Skywalker, I'm ready," she forced herself to say.

Luke motioned for her to come closer to him. "Have you been practicing at all?"

"No," Rianna said quickly, perhaps a little too quickly.

"Are you sure?" Luke persisted. "You're showing a lot of Force competence for someone who's had only one day of training."

Rianna gulped, feeling like she was trying to keep food down. "How can you tell that?"

Luke stepped up to her. "Well, yesterday you seemed to be calling out to me through the Force, something I haven't taught you. My mother told me that you appeared to be unconsciously reading her thoughts, which is also something I haven't taught you."

"I don't know what you're talking about," said Rianna, struggling to keep her voice from quivering. Flashes from her dreams of the past two nights were jumping in her head.

"You may not be aware of it," said Luke, his voice firm but not harsh, "but I think something is subconsciously teaching you."

_Subconsciously teaching her?_ Rianna concentrated all her willpower on not letting herself tremble. She wanted to think that his suggestion was ridiculous - she pressed that notion in her head like a law she was trying to memorize, but the law's words escaped her and her body began shaking. Her hands grabbed her shirt, trying to cease their vibrating before Luke would notice, but that effort also proved itself in vain.

"Rianna, listen to me," said Luke. "I know how hard this is for you to believe and I understand why you hate me..."

"I never said that," Rianna interrupted as if it was her reflex to do so.

Luke didn't acknowledge her interruption. "...but I have very strong suspicions that the dark side is calling for you. If you wish to escape my father's fate, we need to work together."

"You happen to be talking to someone who was taught that you father was a noble commander, Skywalker," said Rianna, though the sight of the black helmeted man in her head pulled at her nerves.

"Well do you _believe_ that he was a noble commander?" Luke persisted.

Rianna slowly turned her body away from the Jedi. "I thought I did..."

"But you don't," Luke said.

Rianna twisted her neck to look back at him. "I didn't actually say..."

"That wasn't a question," said Luke. "I can feel that."

The queen sighed as her body rotated once again, this time back to facing Luke, her eyes concentrating on the stray hairs sticking out of his head, feeling unable to look him in the eye while Darth Vader was the subject. "My advisor met your father when she was a girl...I suppose you know that."

Luke nodded, a low exhale leaving his nose.

"She said..." Rianna continued, "...that he was completely different back then."

Luke nodded again. "Whether you believe my father was noble or evil, he had no will. The dark side of the Force is like a slave driver, controlling not only people's actions, but their minds as well."

"And yet people turn to it willingly?" Rianna said, her eyes beginning to dry.

Luke sighed, his eyelids lowering, allowing Rianna to see the blue lines of veins on his lids. "Master Yoda told me that the dark side is very seductive. It offers empty promises to the desperate."

"But I'm not desperate," Rianna said so quickly that it sounded like her words were running into each other.

Luke's eyes raised back up to face her. "You may not think so, Your Highness, but I beg to differ." He gestured for Rianna to follow him. "But talking about it isn't going to help you resist the dark side. Come on, let's begin your lesson."

Luke led the queen to the center of the room, where he removed the silver tube from his belt and held it in front of her face. "Do you know what this is?"

A flash exploded in Rianna's head, a flash of a stream of red light coming out of that tube. Like ripples in the water, it grew more vivid in her mind until she thought that she was actually seeing the red light in front of her, but then the image vanished.

She vigorously shook her head. "No," she said. "No, I don't."

Luke pushed something on the tube, emitting a low humming sound as a shot of green light emerged from the tube, making Rianna gasp like she was being sucked out of a spaceship. She _had_ seen this thing before...only in her dreams, the light had been red.

"This is a lightsaber," said Luke. "The weapon used by both the Jedi and the Sith."

Rianna gulped, her hand reaching out to feel the heat of the blade. "I've heard of these..." she said as if she were under a spell, "...but I've never seen one. At least not..." She found she was unable to add _at least not when I'm awake._

"This is mine," Luke said, as if Rianna had expressed that she thought he was giving it to her. "If you proceed well with your training, perhaps I'll make you one. However, today you'll be borrowing mine."

Rianna's right foot stepped behind her without pulling the rest of her body with it. "Why?"

Luke deactivated the lightsaber, sucking the light back into the tube. "It will help improve your reflexes, as well as your ability to reach out with the Force."

"You certainly sound like you're trying to make me into a Jedi," Rianna said with a sniff, her body aching to follow her foot into the realm of stepping backward away from Luke.

"I'm not," said Luke. "How many times do I have to repeat that this is to help you?"

"As many times it takes for me to believe it, Skywalker," said Rianna.

Luke sighed. Rianna thought she saw his eyeballs roll at her, but she couldn't be certain. His arm stretched out toward the queen, his fingers relaxing their grip on the lightsaber. "Here," he said. "See what it feels like to hold it."

Rianna's hand seemed to have lost its motivation to move. She moistened her lips as she stared at the tube like it had some great power that the holder of it could never give back.

"It's all right," Luke said like a father telling his child that there was nothing scary in the dark. "Take it."

Something possessed Rianna's hand to pick up the lightsaber, which was still warm from Luke's touch. Around five seconds later, the same thing possessed her to press the button which activated it, shooting the green light in front of her face and stilling her breath. As several moments passed she simply stared at the green blade, her mind being carried back to her dreams of the red blades.

"Do they come in different colors?" she whispered.

Luke raised an eyebrow. "Sometimes," he said. "Most of the Jedi used either blue or green, but occasionally they were made in other colors. For example, my sister wanted an orange one - just because it was different from the norm."

"What about red?" Rianna forced herself to ask.

Luke sucked in his breath, seemingly trying to restrain the sound but not doing a very good job. He breathed again a few times before answering.

"Red lightsabers were only used by the Sith," he said.

Rianna couldn't stop her breath from quickening its pace. The red lightsaber from her dreams was pounding in her mind like a headache.

And in her dreams, she suddenly remembered, _she_ had been holding it.

Luke meanwhile had reached into his bag and pulled out a small remote shaped like a ball. "Your first task with the lightsaber is simple," he announced, but there was something about his tone that made Rianna wonder if his definition of simple was different from everyone else's.

"What is it?" the queen asked.

Luke tossed the remote lightly in his hand. "I will activate the remote, and you will use the lightsaber to block its firing."

Or maybe she was wrong - his description _seemed_ like it was simple enough. At least it didn't seem to require any unusual skills. She nodded almost without being aware that she was doing so.

"All right," said Luke.

He pressed the button on the remote, sending it hovering toward Rianna. As if by reflex, she immediately held up the lightsaber, the blade running horizontally in front of her chest. Within a second, a blast shot out from the remote, which caused Rianna's hands to instinctively turn the blade vertically and block it.

"Good job," said Luke.

The remote fired again, and once again, the queen blocked it, barely thinking of what she was doing. For several minutes, she performed her actions like a droid programmed to defend herself from the remote, not making any conscious decisions, moving through her dance with the lightsaber as if it was part of her deepest instinct.

"All right, that's enough," Luke said, after which Rianna deactivated the lightsaber, even though Luke hadn't told her to.

The Jedi's eyes were wide and his lips were separated from each other. "That's...a _lot_ better than my first time with a lightsaber."

Rianna hoped Luke didn't notice her swallowing. "Well, I've had combat training before - that could have something to do with it."

"It could," Luke repeated, not sounding convinced. "Anyway, I think it's time to proceed to the next level."

"The next level?"

Luke reached into his bag and pulled out a round black helmet with a blast shield that covered the eyes. "Try the same thing again, but this time, put this on first."

Rianna wrinkled her nose at the helmet. "Why? Are you worried that the remote will blast my brain out?"

Luke sighed and shook his head. "As my old teacher Obi-Wan Kenobi once said, your eyes can deceive you."

"Yes I know," Rianna said hastily. "As you said last time, eyes aren't necessary for the Force. I would have thought you'd have a better memory than that, Skywalker."

Luke chose not to acknowledge that comment - instead he strode up to Rianna and put the helmet on her head, shrouding her eyes in blackness.

"Is this _really_ necessary?" protested Rianna, feeling like she was balancing a rock on her head. "Why not just blindfold me?"

"I don't have a blindfold," Luke said, his voice slightly muffled from the helmet covering her ears. "Besides, I think the helmet helps you feel more enclosed, which frees you to reach out with the Force better."

Rianna was about to point out the ridiculousness of Luke's paradox statement, but she heard the remote being reactivated, which sent her reflexes back into activating the lightsaber and preparing to defend herself, although this time she didn't have the slightest idea where the remote would strike.

"Reach out with the Force," Luke instructed.

She wanted to say that she didn't know how to do this. Levitating a stone wasn't the same as knowing where something she couldn't see was...right? With the heavy helmet pressing down on her head and the blast shield making her world dark, she felt as if the remote wasn't even there - she was isolated in her own space, even though she could hear the remote's buzzing outside her world.

She was alone - Luke would give her no further instruction, though she hadn't the slightest idea how she had come to that conclusion. _Reach out with the Force_, how did she do that? How did she do that _last_ time? She closed her eyes, even though she was already in the dark, once more imagining that her soul could reach beyond the constraints of her body and find the remote.

Suddenly it seemed like the remote's shape was forming in her mind, driving her hands to move the lightsaber to the left, after which she heard the clashing of the remote's blast into the blade. Her breath increased speed, adding heat to the confined space of the helmet. What did she do? How did she do it?

Whatever she did, she continued doing it, the external sounds informing her that she was succeeding. Once again her mind seemed to be automatically making decisions for her - her thoughts stilled and let her reflexes take over.

"_Goooood, gooooood..."_

The still, silent voice inside her head stilled her hands, but did not open her eyes. She knew this voice...very well, in fact.

"_The Force is strong with you, young Rianna."_

Her body ceased motion altogether as her soul traveled further and further into her mind, following the low, raspy, silent voice as if it had tranced her.

"_Yet what are you doing? Who is teaching you this? Your enemy?"_

Part of her vaguely tried to remind herself that she wasn't here, this voice wasn't really

speaking...but where was she, then? The path between her and her memories seemed blocked. Her physical body, which only the tiniest part of her knew was still there, felt itself standing on a floor holding something, but that was all she could reach to.

"_Rianna, sweetheart? Rianna, where are you?_"

This voice was different from the previous oneit was warm and inviting - and a voice she knew even better than the previous one. Her heart throbbed at the sound her physical ears couldn't hear.

"_Rianna, I can't find you."_

She desperately wanted to call out to the voice, but she couldn't remember where her mouth was. Whatever this darkness was, she suddenly realized that she was trapped here.

"_Rianna...Rianna, help me! Where are you??"_

Rianna shot her head in all directions, but found no light.

"_RIANNA, HELP ME!!!"_

She ran - both in her mind and with her body, towards his voice. Her consciousness grasped that the thing her physical body was holding was a weapon of some kind - a weapon she could use to kill the attacker...to save him.

"_Yeeeessss, yeeeesssss..."_

The dark, raspy voice was back, urging her on, telling her that the enemy was right in front of her. She screamed, jumping into a fighting position, raising her weapon to strike...

"Rianna! Rianna, stop! RIANNA!!" shouted a voice into her physical ears, reminding her of their existence. A second later, she felt the weapon being yanked out of her hand and the heavy black thing was pulled off her head, snapping her back into the physical world.

"Rianna, what happened??" the voice exclaimed - the voice she now recognized as belonging to Luke.

She blinked ferociously, feeling dazed as if she had been jolted out of a dream, remembering only disjointed fragments of what had just happened. Palpatine's voice...her father's voice...Luke's voice...running...a weapon...

"I...what...did I..." she stammered.

"You were practicing with the remote," said Luke, whom Rianna noticed was now holding the lightsaber in one hand and the helmet in the other, reminding her of what she had been doing. "Then you just stopped moving for a while, and then...well...you..."

"I what??" Rianna gasped. "What did I do??"

Luke tightened his grip on the lightsaber, as if he thought she would snatch it from him. His eyes became wide balls staring at her. "You...screamed really loudly...and then you charged at me. You...well...you looked like you were trying to kill me."

Rianna's mouth hung open as she stared at the now-lifeless tube in Luke's hand, her insides feeling like they had been crushed. Was that what she was trying to do while she was inside her head...kill Luke? Her breath became more and more audible and her stomach grew even tighter as that realization sank in.

But didn't she _want_ him dead?

No...no...she shouldn't think like that...

She _couldn't_ think like that...

Her mind chased her memories of the last several minutes like a starving predator after its prey, desperately trying to find the moment when she had fallen under that spell of whatever it was, but they were already fading like the memories of a dream, becoming blurry pieces of time that part of her began to wonder if they had ever occurred.

"Rianna..." Luke whispered, "...do you want to talk about it?"

The queen stared at the Jedi's eyes, his words echoing in her mind.

"_Whether you believe my father was noble or evil, he had no will..."_

"_He had no will..."_

"_No will..."_

"_No will..."_

Air inched its way out of her mouth like she was being choked. Luke's eyes seemed to be sending her a message that things were all right now, but that only shook her more. What other sorts of messages could she hear, what more would happen to her when she tried to use this Force, what else was looking for her? Like a frightened animal running from a landspeeder, she fled from the room.

AN: Wondering (or dreading) where Padme and the others are going? Well, yes, the next chapter should be infamous, but I assure you that it WILL serve a purpose, so please stick around. :) In the meantime, you might like to check out my new story, "Mark of a Rebel." (Yes, shameless self-advertising, so shoot me.)


	39. Chapter 39

"My Mother"

By EsmeAmelia

AN: A glorious thanks to all who reviewed! (takes big deep breath) Okay, you may love this chapter or you may REALLY REALLY HATE it. My apologies to those of you who have begged and pleaded for me not to included a certain species or a certain member of that species. Well, I said I'd only include them if I found a place for them...and I found a place. So here it is, what's bound to be one of the most infamous chapters in the story (puts on blaster and lightsaber proof armor).

Chapter 39

Leia decided that Han was doing a fairly good job driving the bongo. So far, he had only crashed into two rocks and angered three large fish, and amazingly, the vehicle didn't seem to have suffered any damage. As Padme gave directions to her son-in-law, she sounded like she was calm, but her constant reminders that the vehicle was a rental communicated that she was having second (or third) thoughts about letting Han drive.

"I know, I know," Han said in a frustrated voice after the fifth time she reminded him.

"Well I'd appreciate it if you would _treat_ it like a rental," said Padme. "Now slow down, we're almost there."

As Han slowed down the bongo, Leia gripped her stomach and was relieved that she could still feel her babies moving within.

-----------------------------------

The bongo approached what appeared to be a large sphere hovering in the water. Han asked Padme where he should stop, but his mother-in-law instructed him to keep going, as if she expected him to crash into the sphere. When Han and Leia brought this to her attention, she simply repeated her directions, her tone communicating that she knew what she was doing, though she was still doubted by her comrades.

But it turned out that she was right. As the bongo's tip touched the sphere's wall, it slid right through it - the wall was actually some kind of forcefield. Once the bongo passed through the forcefield, it started skimming across what was, to everyone's surprise except Padme's, _solid_ ground. The bongo skimmed across several feet before the friction brought it to a stop.

"We're here," Padme breathed.

One by one, the four exited the bongo through the top, Leia bringing up the rear, needing Chewie to help pull her heavy self out. Once her feet touched the ground, her eyes grew wide as she looked around her. The air was breathable, the ground was solid, and yet the sense of being _underwater_ remained. Through the forcefield, which stretched all the way above their heads, the giant fish and undersea plant life were still visible and as clear as if there were no barrier between them - even the smell of water was still lingering in the air. It felt like being in a dream where she had gained the ability to breathe underwater.

The world beneath the forcefield was equally fascinating. The roads seemed to be floating with the water beneath them. The buildings looked like miniature versions of the sphere they were in. Most intriguing of all to Leia were the inhabitants. Reptilian creatures in various shades of orange or green roamed the streets. Their noses stretched in front of them like snouts, their ears flopped down on either side of their heads, and their eyes hovered on top of their faces. Although Leia had done considerable research on the various species in the galaxy, she was certain she had never come across them before. Gungans, she assumed.

"Welcome to Oota Gunga," said Padme.

No sooner had she spoken than a murmur emerged from the creatures in the streets and a voice shouting "HUMANS! DERESA HUMANS HERE!" broke Leia's enthrallment. Suddenly the group of three humans and one Wookiee became the center of attention.

"Whater dey doin here?" one of the Gungans asked in a loud voice.

Leia gulped. "Hello," she said. "We are ambassadors from the New Republic and we come to you in peace."

The murmur grew louder. A few of the Gungans raised what looked like long sticks with electric currents running through them - Leia quickly caught on that they were weapons.

"Weesa no have humans here for years," one of the stick-bearing Gungans said in a gruff voice. "Whatsa business be bringin yousa here?"

Leia was about to explain further when she felt her mother's hand on her shoulder. "Leia, you'd better let me handle this," she said. She stepped forward until she was inches away from the weapon bearers. "I am the former Queen Amidala of the Naboo, who once helped to establish harmony between our two societies. My daughter and I request an audience with your leader."

The murmur changed instantly to a gasp - it seemed that most of the Gungans hadn't been aware of Padme's survival, but one of them elbowed his way through the crowd up to the lead ambassador.

"Yousa deesa Queen Amidala?" he asked in a raspy voice.

"Yes," replied Padme.

The Gungan stuck his head up, revealing the wrinkles under his chin. "Deesa rumors from da surface are true! Deesa queen lives!"

After looking at each other for a few moments, the crowd of Gungans erupted in cheers. Leia felt her babies jump inside her, as if they had heard the cheering and thought it was for them. Almost before any of them could tell what was happening, the four were being escorted to the Gungan leader.

"Uh, Mom?" Han said with a lowered voice. "Do these guys always talk like that?"

"You get used to it after a while," said Padme.

Leia skillfully grasped her husband's arm and pulled him up to her so he'd be close enough for her to whisper in his ear.

"I'll never make fun of your grammar again," she said.

-------------------------------------

The leader's throne room was in the shape of a sphere similar to that of the larger sphere that encased the Gungan city. As with the rest of the city, the fish could be seen swimming outside the throne room as clearly as if there was nothing between them.

Seated in the throne was a skinny orange-skinned Gungan decked in green robes that looked way too big for him, with a pointed green hat sitting behind his eyes. Despite the large, saggy lump of skin beneath his chin, he still seemed to carry a bit of youthful aura about him.

"Padme?" the Gungan leader exclaimed in a voice reminiscent of a droid with a malfunctioning voice chip. "Padme? Issa dat yousa?"

Without waiting for her answer, the Gungan leader leapt off his throne and skipped merrily over to Padme. "Padme! Meesa so moi moi happy to be seein yousa!" He excitedly wrapped his arms around the ambassador. "Meesa been tinkin yousa dead for many many years, but den meesa hearden da rumors dat yousa here - and deysa true!"

Much to her daughter's surprise, Padme began giggling. "Jar Jar?" she said through her laughs. "Is that you?"

"Uh-huh," the Gungan answered, nodding eagerly.

Padme's laughter increased its intensity. "How did you _ever_ become leader of the Gungans?"

"My no know," said Jar Jar. "Boss Nass was growin old and heesa needed someone to be takin over him, yousa know. Heesa hada pick someone, and heesa picken meesa. Den heesa pass on and meesa takin his place, so meesa here."

Padme's fit of laughter abruptly ceased. "Boss Nass is dead?"

Jar Jar put his hand on her shoulder. "Heesa was old. Heesa livin to a moi moi good age. Weesa honor him now, not grieve him."

As Leia listened to their conversation, she vaguely remembered that Boss Nass had been the leader of the Gungans when her mother was queen and Jar Jar was the name of the banished Gungan who tagged along on her journeys to Tatooine and Coruscant during the blockade and later became a senator. Padme had failed to mention his voice, though.

Meanwhile Jar Jar had noticed Leia. "Hello," he said with a smile enlarging his face and showing off his triple chin. "Whosa are yousa?"

"Uh...I'm Leia Organa Solo," Leia answered somewhat awkwardly, hesitantly sticking out her hand. "Padme is my mother."

"Yousa hada baby??" Jar Jar exclaimed to Padme.

"Yes," Padme said with a smile.

Jar Jar enthusiastically shook Leia's hand with his own cold, slimy-feeling hand. "Meesa Jar Jar Binks, meesa Gungan boss. Meesa knewsa yousa mom moi moi many years ago."

"I know," said Leia. "She's told us about you."

"Oh-ooh," Jar Jar sighed. Leia guessed this meant he felt honored.

"Jar Jar, I actually had _two_ babies," said Padme. "Leia and my son Luke."

Before Padme could elaborate on that statement, Jar Jar skipped up to Han and grabbed his hand. "Hello, yousa must besa Luke!" he shouted while vigorously shaking the pilot's hand. "Meesa so smilin to be meetin Padme's kids."

Han yanked his hand away. "I'm _not_ Luke," he grumbled, flicking his hand in disgust.

"Luke's not here," Padme quickly said. "That's Han, my son-_in-law_. He's married to Leia."

"Oooh," said Jar Jar, grabbing Han's hand again. "Meesa moi moi glad to be meetin you Hannie."

Han yanked his hand away once again. "It's _Han_."

"Meesa tinkin meesa heard of yousa and yousa wife, Hannie," continued Jar Jar. "Dint yousa fight in deesa Rebellion?"

"Yes we did," Han said in a hasty voice. "And it's _Han!_"

Leia was finding it hard not to laugh.

"Yousa pilot, right Hannie?" continued Jar Jar.

Instead of answering the Gungan, Han turn to the others in exasperation. "Do this guy's gigantic ears not work or somethin'? Haven't I said it's Han twice?"

"Oh yousa funny, Hannie," Jar Jar said with a guffaw, grabbing his hand for the third time. "Meesa tinkin meesa likin you."

"IT'S _HAN!!_" Han shouted, which drew nothing but laughs from not only Jar Jar, but from Chewie, Leia, and even Padme.

"Oh, yousa must join meesa for deesa midday luncheons," Jar Jar said once he could speak again. "Weesa can talkin with food."

Despite that Han was shaking his head and waving his hands in a "no" gesture, Padme smiled and said, "That would be lovely, Jar Jar."

"Okie-day," said Jar Jar. "Meesa showin you to dinin hall. Come on!"

Han groaned loudly as the group followed the Gungan leader towards his dining hall. "I'm sittin' as far away from him as possible," he said to Leia, waving his finger at Jar Jar's back.

"I'm sure you'll have _no_ problem doing that ... 'Hannie'," Leia said with as wide a grin as she could muster, skipping ahead of her husband before he could respond.

--------------------------

Like the throne room, Jar Jar's dining hall was spherical, but unlike the throne room, it was enclosed - the outside water life couldn't be seen. Instead, the room was engulfed in a large green wall which was covered with various holos of what Leia presumed to be famous Gungans and Gungan celebrations. There was hardly a human to be seen, and when one did appear, he or she was usually in the background.

Except for in one holo.

This particular holo curved around a good forth of the wall in order to include all the subjects in it. It appeared to be a celebration of some sort, taking place on the steps of the Naboo palace, where many Gungans and humans were gathered. Leia immediately recognized one of the humans to be Padme, decked in a wardrobe similar to those that the queen of Naboo still wore: a long pink dress with large feather-like backing that spread upward around her torso and her face wearing that same makeup she had seen Rianna wear. Yet there was something different about the Padme in the holo from the Padme Leia knew - the holo seemed..._happier_.

The younger Padme was smiling down at a small boy with blonde hair sliced short. He appeared to be only eight or nine years old, yet he was looking up at Padme with an expression that seemed to be more than mere awe, as if he saw some future between them and couldn't wait to get there. Yet despite this apparent wisdom, the boy's image still cried out that he was so young, and not merely in the physical sense, either. Leia found herself squinting at the child, her focus drawn to him more than even her mother's image. Although this holo was clearly long before her birth, there was something so..._familiar_ about the boy.

"Dat's yousa dad," a voice stated from behind her, shooting a blast of lightning through her body, yet not surprising her. Her suddenly-dry throat began swallowing like she was in danger of perishing while the rest of her realized that she probably already figured out who the boy was long before the Gungan leader told her - her consciousness was just afraid of admitting the identity.

"How...how do you know?" she asked.

"Yousa mom been fillin' me in a few minutes ago," Jar Jar explained. "Shesa told me bout her husband."

"Everything?" Leia whispered.

"Uh-huh," said Jar Jar. His orange finger pointed at the boy. "Lil Ani meesa firs real friend. My no have no friends before him. Heesa no care dat meesa clumsy or nothin...in fact, heesa friends with everyone." He sighed heavily. "Sometime meesa wishin he still here."

Leia blinked at the child, who now looked like he was about to shed his innocent face and attack. "And...you don't care about what he became later?"

Jar Jar sighed again. "Meesa know bout dat for a longo time." He pointed to a young man in the holo with his hair done in the same padawann braid that Anakin had worn in the wedding recording. "Obi dere toldin meesa bout Ani before he left to exile. Sent meesa secret message. He no say dat Vader had babies dough."

"That had to be kept a secret," said Leia, trying to look at Obi-Wan's youthful, smiling face, but finding that Anakin's image was pulling her eyes back to it. "Even from us."

"Oh, meesa understandin dat," said Jar Jar.

Leia's blood began to burn at hearing him talk so casually about Darth Vader. "And don't you _care_ about what he did? Don't you _realize_ what he became??"

"Of _course_ meesa do!" Jar Jar shouted. "Gungans - weesa suffer from him too."

Leia's head slowly turned to face the Gungan. "You have?"

Jar Jar nodded. "Deesa Emperor, heesa wanted to cleanse his planet. He tinkin Gungans filth. He tryin to get rid of us. Dat's why weesa no communicate with da Naboo no more."

"But the Empire is dead," said Leia.

"Not here," said Jar Jar. "Deesa queen - I don't tink she likin us either."

"Have you tried talking to her?"

Jar Jar shook his head. "Weesa scared to go up dere now. Only a few darin ones will try - and even dey don't wanna be seen by humans."

Leia couldn't say that she blamed them. "So how did the Emperor try to eliminate your people?"

"Heesa sendin Ani to do it," said Jar Jar.

"You mean _Vader_," Leia said harshly.

Jar Jar nodded once again. "Vader comin here with deesa clone troopers, killin many many Gungans. Heesa knew our sacred place, so weesa not even safe dere."

"What did you do?"

"Weesa tryin to fight dem off with our army," continued Jar Jar, "but dey too numerous. Meesa excluded from Senate soon before dat, so meesa here helpin da Gungans fight, but even our grand army can't fightin all dose clones."

"How did you escape him?" Leia asked in a hushed voice.

Jar Jar swallowed. "Weesa dint. Vader came after meesa. Meesa got very scared, and when heesa bout to kill me, meesa cryin out to Ani, wantin him to remember how weesa friends."

Leia could easily imagine him cornered by Vader, screaming pathetically for him to show mercy while the Sith's cold heart refused to listen. "What happened next?" she asked.

A slight smile crossed Jar Jar's face. "Heesa lowerin his lightsaber. My no know what made him do it - meesa callin him Ani, tellin him bout us bein friends maybe. Maybe meesa helpin him remember for a moment whosa he used to be. Anyways, heesa ordered da battle to end and heesa tellin us to be stayin underwater or weesa be eliminated for sure. Heesa sayin he'd negociate with da Emperor about lettin us live outta sight. Dere was some of de old Ani left in him, meesa tinks."

Leia swallowed, her stomach turning somersaults, her mind remembering Vader's cold hands gripping her, forcing her to watch her planet being obliterated. Why could he show a hint of mercy to the Gungans and not to Alderaan? She sighed, turning once more to face the holo of the child who would lead to destruction.

"Yousa dad not Vader," Jar Jar said. "Yousa dad Ani."

Leia was silent.

AN: Okay, still reading? If so, I have an announcement to make regarding some of my other stories. First off, I have a new short story up, "Princess of my Heart." (Hey, if I can't advertise here, where can I advertise?) Second, more importantly, several of my other short stories have been accepted to be published in a fanzine this year. They are "Invitation," "Frozen Together," "We're Sleeping Too Well," and possibly "Snow Day" (not sure if that one's been accepted yet or not). When the zine is published, I will likely be asked to REMOVE those stories from the internet during the year when the zine is in circulation. So if you would like to save them on your comp, I suggest doing so very quickly.


	40. Chapter 40

"My Mother"

By EsmeAmelia

AN: A special thanks to all the reviewers - for the 40th time! Wowee, 40 chapters, this is the first thing I've EVER written to reach 40 chapters.

Chapter 40

That evening, Sola's dining room was full of excited chatter. Nia, Cre, Senon, and Hella were having dinner with the family, which meant every seat around the long dining table was accompanied. They were eager to tell their new friends about their lunch they had spent with the queen, while Padme, Leia, and Han were eager to tell them about their progress with the mission - particularly their trip to Oota Gunga earlier that day. Sola had fixed up a large and hearty meal that provided the perfect accompaniment to their spirited conversation.

"This is great," said Cre, swiftly cutting her meat. "Nothin' like that meal at the palace. It was so freaking _boring._"

"You'd have thought she'd never seen commoners before," Hella sniffed. "The whole time she was askin' us all these polite questions about things like the weather or what our hobbies were."

"I think I'd take that over lunch with a guy who eats by grabbing food with his tongue and slurping it in," Han said, making a face.

"Han, please, people are trying to eat here," chided Leia, elbowing her husband.

"So was I this afternoon," grumbled Han, stuffing a rather large forkfull of meat into his mouth.

Nia snickered. "I'd be very interested in meeting this Jar Jar Binks. He seems like quite a character."

"Trust me, you _don't_ wanna meet him," Han said without swallowing his food first.

"He'll be speaking to the queen during our next meeting with her," Padme said, conveniently ignoring her son-in-law. "Maybe she'll let you guys tag along."

"I met him a couple of times," Sola said from her seat at the head of the table. "Yes, he was a little...unnerving, but he loved my daughters."

"Bet they won't love him anymore," muttered Han.

Leia elbowed her husband again. "If you keep up like this, I think maybe we'll want you coming with us for the next negotiation, 'Hannie,'" she said with a wicked grin.

"Was that a threat?" said Han.

"Is that a new pet name for your hubby, Leia?" Padme said in a sing-song voice. "Are you gonna use that to get him up in the middle of the night to satisfy your pregnancy cravings? I can't _wait _to tell Jar Jar."

Han abruptly stood up. "If you guys just wanna make fun of me, I'm eatin' in my room. I don't need to be with a bunch of people whose intelligence has dropped down thanks to our little underwater trip."

Leia yanked at his sleeve. "Han, come on, you know we're just playing with you. Try to have a sense of humor here."

"Oh, I'm in a room with two senators and suddenly _I'm_ the one with no sense of humor," Han said with a sniff, though he seemed to be allowing Leia to pull him back into his seat.

"Come on, you know you don't want to miss dessert," chided Leia.

Luke tried to laugh at the goings on, but the lesson with Rianna was weighing on his head. He found that his eyes were focusing on the view out the window across from him - the orange light of the sunset tinting the gardens outside. The yellow and purple flowers helped to ease his mind in the tiniest of ways. Probably his eyes appeared glazed to the guests seated across from him, but no one seemed to be paying him any attention. Besides, if he looked anyone in the eye, they might ask him a question about how things went during Rianna's Force lesson.

He wondered if the old Jedi Masters ever had this kind of problem with their students, if they ever had padawanns who wanted to deny their Force-sensitivity, resented their teachers, and were afraid of the Force. Perhaps he was doing this the wrong way. Maybe his family was right, and he was really assisting Rianna in her trip to the dark side.

"Luke?" Padme said, as if she just now realized her son was present. "Are you all right?"

Luke blinked at his mother, suddenly realizing that he had lost track of the conversation. "What?"

"Luke, you've been really quiet," Padme said gently. "Did something happen today with the queen?"

This was why Luke had been trying to be invisible. Explaining what happened that afternoon would only confirm to everyone that he was leading Rianna down the path to become a Sith - and perhaps begin to confirm the notion in his own mind as well. Why had he thought he could teach someone about the Force when it wasn't all that long ago when he was just learning about the Force himself?

By now the entire table's attention was turned to Luke. Even the guests who knew very little about the Force had stopped eating, staring at the Jedi with discomforting interest.

"Luke, what's wrong?" Leia asked. "Something happened today, I can sense it."

Luke sighed. "Rianna...she's frightened."

"And?" said Padme.

Luke wanted to take a big bite of food so he could delay the answer, but he stopped himself. "And...she seems to be going places she can't control. I don't know how to control them either. When I try teaching her to meditate, or even just to reach out with the Force when her eyes are closed...she gets in this sort of trance or something...I don't know..."

"Hey kid," said Han, "could ya maybe elaborate on that for those of us who don't have that Force thing?"

Against his better judgement, Luke found himself telling them all about Rianna's lesson, expecting scolding to follow, but instead his story met with only silence. Nine pairs of eyes stared at him, hardly blinking. The food was neglected, the hands were still.

"Do you think she was really trying to _kill_ you?" Leia finally asked.

Luke tapped his fork against his plate. "I don't really know."

"Well kid," said Han, "I hate to give you an I-told-you-so, but if you remember..."

Leia put her hand over her husband's mouth. "Luke, have you thought that maybe you're rushing things with her?"

Luke swallowed. "I'm trying not to...but it seems like even when I'm teaching her the simplest things, the Force takes over her."

Cre had her elbows on the table, her brown-skinned face resting on her hands. "Well, I don't know much about this Force thing, but it seems to me that she's got some issues to settle before she even _thinks_ about learnin' it."

"Or maybe she's just plain screwed up," added Hella.

"Luke," Padme quickly intervened, "maybe she just needs a bit of space. A little time to adjust to being Force-sensitive."

"Maybe," Luke said, making no attempt to hide the fact that he wasn't convinced. Nor did he make any attempt to talk more about Rianna when the subject shifted to something else. As dessert was passed around, his mind remained with the queen, trying to find the best way to proceed with her, but remaining a blank.

How could he help someone who was afraid of herself?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Padme! Padme! Wake up!"

Padme was waking into a dream, or perhaps out of one. Her husband's voice was creeping into her head, sneaking into the world beneath her eyelids, making her hesitant to open them and send his voice away. She could stay with him for a few more seconds...

"Padme, wake _up!_"

There was fleshless warmth on her cheek...the voice wasn't in her dream...it was real...

Padme snapped her eyes open, seeing her husband's radiant, ghostly face once more, glowing in the darkness, looking the same as it had so many months ago. A large smile immediately spread across her face, her lips wanting to kiss his spirit again.

"Ani..." she breathed. "I knew I'd see you again..."

Anakin's face remained in a serious expression. "Padme, there's no time for affection. There's a disturbance in the Force."

Padme rubbed her eyes, assuring herself that she wasn't dreaming. "A disturbance?"

"Yes," said Anakin, sounding out of breath even though he no longer breathed air. "You and Luke must go to the palace. Right now."

"Why?"

Anakin's spirit hand once more filled her cheek with warmth. "The queen's in danger. She won't see me or anyone else from my world, but she'll see you."

All thought of sleeping immediately vanished from Padme's mind. "All right, I'll wake Leia and we'll go to the palace."

"No," Anakin said quickly. "Let Leia sleep. She's not needed right now."

"But Ani..."

"She's carrying our grandchildren, don't forget," said Anakin, his ghost hand now on her shoulder. "She needs her rest...and her soul will still refuse to see me if she wakes up now."

Padme swallowed, but she still gave a small nod as she slowly sat up, her eyes blinking rapidly, trying to get rid of the longing for more sleep.

"Don't worry about getting dressed," said Anakin. "Just get to the palace as quickly as you can." He leaned over and gently kissed his wife's forehead. "May the Force be with you." With that, he was gone.

After sitting in a daze for a few moments, staring at the spot where her husband had been, Padme flew out of bed, pulled on her robe and slippers, and ran for the door, swallowing with every step. What sort of help could she give the queen? Why would a non-Force-sensitive be chosen to help correct a disturbance in the Force?

Upon reaching the hall, she found Luke already there, his dark blue robe barely succeeding in covering his pajamas, a good portion of his hair sticking up on end.

"Luke," Padme said hastily. "I just saw your father."

"I just saw Ben," said Luke between breaths. "He told me there was a disturbance in the Force and you and I needed to go to the palace."

"That's what Ani told me," said Padme.

"He also told me I'd better not wake Han if I wanted to get anywhere before morning."

"Yes, Ani told me that about Leia," said Padme. "Only...well, he used a nicer argument." She gulped again, trying in vain to rid her nerves of this empty feeling. "Why do you think the queen needs us now?"

Luke gave a soft sigh. "I don't know, but it can't be good." He grabbed his mother's wrist with his artificial hand. "Come on, we'd better find out."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Luke didn't need to use a mind trick on the guards this time - they were too struck with panic to worry about protocol, and once they recognized Padme as the ambassador who wanted to help the queen, they eagerly let the two visitors in.

Once inside, they found Pooja racing down the stairs in her nightgown, apparently already alerted to their presence. "Luke! Aunt Padme!" she cried in a desperate voice. "What are you doing here?"

Padme and Luke glanced nervously at each other.

"Uh...the Force told me there was trouble here," said Luke.

Pooja began nodding rapidly. "Yes, yes, there is trouble here. Come on, follow me. Hurry!"

Padme and Luke hastily followed Pooja up the stairs. Padme clenched her teeth when she reached the top, attempting to block out her desire to gasp for breath from the run up so many stairs. Luke, however, made no such attempt.

"Come on," Pooja said between huffs, leading them through a large door.

The door opened to reveal the queen's bedroom, where on the floor, crumpled up in blankets and thrashing around like they were strangling her, was Rianna, screaming into the night.

"I can't wake her up," Pooja said desperately.

"NOOOOOOOO!!!" Rianna cried, rolling back and forth on the floor, her hands clenching the air. "NOOOOOOO!!!" She flipped to her stomach and began clawing at the floor like a wild animal, her breath breaking up like an infant who had been crying for too long.

For several moments neither Padme nor Luke could move. Padme felt her nerves tingling, her hands going numb, her teeth clenching shut to keep them from chattering, her ears cringing from the queen's screams. Her mind took at least a full minute to command her body to crouch down by Rianna.

"Rianna?" she whispered. "Rianna? Can you hear me?"

Rianna's screams only increased their volume as tears emerged from under her tightly closed eyelids. Padme attempted to wipe the tears from her cheeks, but once she touched the queen's skin, her head shot to the side and her teeth sank into Padme's skin like a predator tearing apart its prey, her voice growling ferociously.

Padme attempted to pry Rianna's teeth away from her hand to no avail, only resulting in horrible pain from her skin tearing, followed by the sticky, flowing warmth of blood.

By now Luke was on the floor next to his mother, his hands gripping the queen's sides, trying to steady her body's shaking. Her feet kicked wildly in the air - Pooja attempted to grasp her queen's legs, but that resulted in Rianna's heel colliding with her advisor's jaw.

"Rianna!" Luke shouted. "Rianna, come back! You hear me? Come back! Wake up!"

"NO!!" cried the slumbering queen, finally releasing Padme's hand. "NO! NO! NO!"

"Rianna," Padme said gently but loudly, gripping her shoulder with her uninjured hand, "you're not really there. Listen to me, it's in your head. Wake up and you'll be with friends."

"NOOOO!" Rianna cried, her voice cracking like she was choking. "NO...no...no...no...no..."

Suddenly her body went limp, her head collapsing in Padme's lap, her legs loudly crashing on the floor, briefly hushing all around her.

"Rianna?" Pooja whispered, horror in her voice. "Mi'lady? Are you all right?"

Padme felt Rianna's head vibrating in her lap as the audibility in her breath returned. "Help me..." the queen whispered. "Help me...help me...help me..."

"How?" Padme said gently, touching Rianna's cheek even though that was risking her other hand being bitten. "How can we help you?"

The sleeping queen seemed unable to reach the outside world in any way. "Help me...help me...help me...help me...help me...my master..."

The last two words seemed to douse the three observers in cold water. Both Padme's bleeding hand and her comforting hand were stilled. She knew how those words were used - not merely by the Jedi padawanns, but by the Sith apprentices.

"Rianna?" Luke called.

Suddenly the queen's eyes shot open, her mouth gasping as if she were waking out of a coma. She blinked rapidly as her hands began trembling. Padme quickly began stroking the queen's cheek in a feeble hope that it would comfort her, but Rianna took no notice of the ambassador's gesture.

"Rianna?" Pooja said fearfully. "Are you awake?"

"Wh-what happened?" Rianna gasped out, her voice weak and hoarse. Her head shifted around it Padme's lap, noticing her visitors. "Wh-what in the galaxy are you doing here?"

"We heard you were in trouble," Padme said quickly, running her fingers through Rianna's hair. "We came to help you."

"Why would I need your help??" Rianna snapped, flying to a sitting position, her eyes fixed on Luke.

Pooja quickly grabbed her queen's shoulder. "Your Highness, you were having a horrible night terror or something." Her fingers ran down Rianna's pajama top. "Do you...well, do you remember anything?"

Rianna stared at her advisor in silence, lingering in the gaze before slowly turning to face Padme, her eyes gradually moving from Padme's eyes to her bleeding hand.

"Did I...did I do that?" she whispered in horror, a single finger stretching towards Padme's cut.

Pooja sighed heavily as she rose to her feet. "Come on downstairs, all of you. I'll make some tea." She walked over to her aunt and gently grabbed her arm. "And I'll get that bandaged up."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

While Pooja tended to Padme's hand, Rianna and Luke sat opposite each other on the sofas in front of one of the fireplaces, neither one speaking. Rianna seemed to be making a game out of not looking Luke in the eye, her pupils darting away whenever Luke caught sight of them. Her black hair looked like it was in a mess of tangles - Luke suspected much of it was brought on from thrashing around on the floor. Her hands were clutching her robe, but that couldn't stop them from twitching. Luke felt that perhaps he should probe Rianna's mind and look for what she had dreamed, but if he did so, she might feel him doing it, and that would break all hope of her ever trusting him.

Finally Padme entered the room, her hand wrapped up in a white bandage that only let her fingers stick out.

"How is it?" Luke asked.

"I'll live," said Padme, sitting down next to her son. "It could get infected, though." She glanced at Rianna. "You have really sharp teeth, you know that?"

The queen remained silent, looking down at her trembling hands.

Luke drummed the fingers of his artificial hand on his lap, pressing hardness into his leg. "Your Highness, I know this is all very overwhelming for you, but..."

"But what?" Rianna interrupted, her eyes flying up to meet Luke's. "None of this ever happened before I started with this Force thing."

"You never _started_ with it," said Luke. "You started _learning_ about it, but you've always had it."

Before Rianna could answer to that, Pooja entered the room, carrying a tray on which sat four cups of steaming tea. "Mi'lady, are you feeling all right?" she asked as she set the tray on the caf table between the sofas.

"No," choked Rianna.

Pooja sat next to her queen and gently grasped her arm. "Rianna, I know how hard this is on you..."

"No you don't!" Rianna snapped, pulling her arm away. "None of you know what this is - not even you, Skywalker!"

Luke took a deep breath before speaking. "Your Highness, I had to face the dark side too. I had my fears shoved into me, I too was overwhelmed by the power of the Force..."

"Not like _this," _Rianna shouted.

Luke opened his mouth, but his voice refused to speak, a quick admission that she was right - he hadn't experienced what she was going through.

"Please Rianna, have some tea," pleaded Pooja, pressing a cup of tea into Rianna's hands.

Rianna tried to raise the cup to her lips, but her hands shook so violently that tea spilled over them, yet she seemed to barely notice the heat.

Pooja wiped the queen's hands with a napkin. "Rianna, could you please tell us just what you're dreaming about? It might help you to feel better."

Instead of acknowledging her advisor, Rianna focused on Luke, her eyes flaring with a mixture of fear and anger. "No more Force lessons, Skywalker."

"What???" the other three reacted.

"I mean it," the queen growled. "No more lessons."


	41. Chapter 41

"My Mother"

By EsmeAmelia

AN: Sorry it took so long for this chapter - I've been having trouble uploading documents. Anyway, thank you THANK YOU to all the reviewers yet again! I'm hoping to get this fic finished before the two-year anniversary of when I started it (June 16th), so I'm writing like crazy.

Chapter 41

For the rest of the night, Padme and Luke slept on the queen's sofas. Or rather, Padme slept while Luke tried fruitlessly to sleep. He stared wide-eyed at the ceiling, which in the darkness seemed to be invisible, his eyelids heavy but unable to close. Though he fiercely attempted to clear his mind, Rianna kept creeping into it. Different attempts to convince her to continue her Force lessons ran through his head, each of which seemed equally unlikely to change her mind.

Pass on what you have learned. Yoda's command gnawed at him, labeling him as a failure. How could he expect to open a Jedi academy if he couldn't even help one person who was having difficulty with the Force?

Luke rolled to his side, inhaling the clean smell of the pillow. It smelled like the pillows in the queen's bedroom - a fact which did little to calm Luke down. He wanted so much to seek her with the Force to see how she was doing, but something stopped him from doing so. What good would that do? It would only show him how much he had failed her.

Yet after a moment or two passed, Luke found that he didn't need to come to her through the Force...she was coming to him instead. Inside his head he saw her lying in Pooja's extra bed, bundled in the covers up to her wide-open eyes, afraid to sleep. He felt the uneven vibrations of her nerves shaking. She was like a small child trying to conceal herself from the monsters she was certain must be under her bed.

Luke closed his eyes, willing the vision to leave him, ferociously trying to command everything to fade away into blackness. He couldn't help her. Whatever he did to help her would make her worse. She was shutting herself away from him and there was nothing he could do to stop her. He wanted to believe that with time, she would gain the courage to resume her lessons...but how long would that take? By the time she got her courage back, it might be too late to save her - she could be lost to the dark side by then.

That thought twisted Luke's stomach as if he was ill. His toes curled, pinching the blanket between them. His mind felt empty, pulled from two different directions that had stretched it thin. Further pressuring her to learn the Force might push her towards the dark side...but doing nothing might also push her towards the dark side. Was there no hope for her left?

In the world behind his eyelids, Luke attempted to harness his own Force gift to bring the queen comfort, but although the vision of her remained, she seemed to have built a wall around her soul, preventing him from reaching it. Whatever dreams might haunt her could not be reached. Yet he continued to try, stressing his mind, tensing his muscles as if attempting to lift something too heavy for him. Eventually, the weight crashed down on him, sending him into an exhausted sleep.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Han woke up to sunlight streaming across his bed and the grogginess lingering in his head, feeling chained to the mattress. Within moments, he scrunched his eyes shut again, letting himself sink down inside his head once more. Maybe he could return to that dream about Leia...

Cub, have you seen Luke?

Han groaned. "I'm asleep, Chewie, I dunno where he is."

Neither does Sola, growled Chewie.

"Then ask the others or somethin'," Han said with a tired moan.

Chewie mumbled something incoherent before adding, Padme's missing too, and Leia doesn't know where she is either.

"Well maybe she and Luke went swimmin' or something," Han muttered. "Ya know, she gets up before everyone else anyway."

Han heard Chewie's loud footsteps shuffling across the room, followed by the squeak of his body leaning against the window.

If they're swimming, then what are they doing outside in their nightclothes? Chewie roared.

Han felt his eyes pop open, severely reducing his sleepiness though his lids still felt sore. "What did you say??" He scrambled out of bed and sprinted unevenly to the window, a chill abruptly brushing his skin. His face pressed against the freezing glass and sure enough, he saw Luke and Padme, both in their robes, their hair mussed, walking towards the house.

"What the hell is that crazy kid up to now?" he muttered.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

After Padme and Luke returned to Sola's house, their story of Rianna's night terror and what followed spread through the building as if it were traveling in hyperspace. There wasn't a soul who didn't have something to say about it.

It's best that she stops her Force lessons, said Chewie. If she doesn't feel she's ready, you shouldn't push her.

"Oh dear," said 3PO. "Well I would suggest that she take a sleeping pill or two - those seem to work wonders on humans who have troubles at night."

"Luke, I think that after she calms down a little, then she'll be ready to start learning again," said Sola.

R2 beeped something that 3PO translated as a rather strong insult to the queen.

"Well kid, I _told_ you this wasn't a good idea, but did you listen?" said Han.

"Luke, are you really going to listen to her?" said Leia. "If you're right, and the dark side really is teaching her, stopping her lessons will leave her without any means of defending herself."

None of the statements could appease what Luke was feeling. Padme was the one who did most of the talking when they told the family about their escapade, and while she seemed very concerned, it was impossible for her to know the true implications from all this. Luke considered talking privately with Leia about this, but then he realized that he couldn't say anything that hadn't already been said. Maybe he could convince her to approach Rianna...but why would she be any more open with one of the leaders who planned the attack on the Death Star?

Perhaps he should indeed leave the queen alone. It wasn't like he had much of a choice there, after all. Yet the thought of passively allowing her to go wherever she was being led continued to make him nauseous. Maybe Han was right, and he really had started this whole thing himself. If that was so, how could it ever end now?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Meesa once tinkin dat Palpatine noble leader too, but weesa Gungans payin deesa price for meesa foolin."

"Then do elaborate on that, Mr. Binks," the queen said in a drowsy voice, seeming to not really be paying attention to Jar Jar's statements. Even through her pale makeup, the tiniest hints of darkness were visible underneath her eyes.

The Gungan leader breathed deeply. "Queen Rianna, moi many years ago Chancellor Palpatine trickin meesa into proposin to be givin him emergency power. Heesa in fact trickin entire senate sos heesa could become Emperor. Den once he gotten what he want, weesa all suffer." His voice grew louder. "Palpatine tryin to eliminate all da Gungans outta existence, and heesa almost succeed."

"I have never heard of this," Rianna said gruffly. "Although...I must admit that I was under the impression that your people were extinct."

"Dat's cause mosta us no go up here no more," said Jar Jar. "After what happen, weesa no trustin da Naboo no more."

"Well that is obviously based on fear and nothing more," said Rianna. "You have no reason to assume that I would have anything against your people."

"Jar Jar," said Pooja, making no attempt to disguise her smile, "the queen is right. Just because she supported Palpatine doesn't me she agrees with him on everything."

Jar Jar looked like he was studying the advisor. "Do my know yousa?"

Padme found that she couldn't help smiling just like her niece, who now had childlike dimples creasing her cheeks.

"Well," said Pooja, "a long time ago my aunt worked with you in the senate."

After staring at her for a few seconds, Jar Jar returned the advisor's toothy smile. "Lil Pooja?"

Pooja nodded enthusiastically.

Jar Jar seemed to immediately forget about the queen - he dashed up to Pooja and squeezed her in his arms. "Meesa no can believin yousa all grown up!"

"Neither can I sometimes," said Pooja, returning the embrace.

"How yousa sister?"

"Ryoo's fine - she's got a husband and a baby girl now. Unfortunately, I don't get to see her as often as I'd like with my job and all...but maybe you could see her sometime."

"Meesa likin dat."

The queen loudly tapped her hand on her throne's arm, which drew only slight attention from the advisor and the Gungan. "I'm sure you two are having a good time," she said firmly, "but we have business to attend to here. You may continue your reunion after the meeting if you wish."

Jar Jar returned to his spot in front of Rianna. "Meesa sorry, Your Highness."

"There's no reason for _you_ to be sorry," muttered Leia.

Rianna stared at the Gungan with a mixture of sternness and uncertainty. "As I was saying, I was not aware that your species was still in existence. You would have been perfectly free to visit the surface during my reign."

"But weesa no know dat," said Jar Jar. "Weesa still tink weesa no welcome here. How were weesa to know anyting else if no one tellin us?"

"Well how was I supposed to tell you that you were free to come up here when I didn't know you were still around?" retorted Rianna.

"Your Highness," Leia intervened, "I believe the point Jar Jar is trying to make is that Palpatine gave you a false impression by acting as if the Gungans were extinct, and hence he might not have been as trustworthy as you think he was."

Rianna leaned her head against her hand, her elbow resting on the throne's arm. "Mr. Binks, I have nothing against your people." Her lips stretched slightly, as if stifling a yawn. "You need not think that the surface is forbidden."

Jar Jar gave a small bow. "Weesa Gungans thankin you, Your Highness."

Padme softly cleared her throat, hoping Jar Jar would hear it and understand what it meant.

Jar Jar paused for a moment and then added, "_But_ meesa also tinkin yousa should stop yousa livin in da past. Yousa hearin over and over dat Palpatine brutal and yousa planet needin serious help." His voice got louder. "Whats itsa _takin_ for yousa to believe dem??"

"I _know_ my planet needs help," Rianna snapped. "However, I do not trust the New Republic to help us. Their morals are, to put it nicely, slippery."

"Howsen yousa know dat??" Jar Jar exclaimed. "Yousa no givin dem a chance!"

The queen shifted in her seat, her focus moving from the Gungan to Luke, the first time she had made eye-contact with him since the night before. "I _have_ attempted to give them a chance. It didn't work."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

After the meeting, before anyone could say anything, Luke dashed after the queen as if she were going to kill someone if he let her escape. He caught sight of her in the next room, where she immediately hastened her pace, her high-heel shoes echoing their sounds on the stone walls.

"Rianna?" Luke said desperately. "Rianna, I want to talk to you."

"There's nothing more for you to say, Skywalker," Rianna said harshly, not looking back at him.

"Rianna, please," said Luke. "I know last night was terrible, but..."

Rianna sharply turned around to face him, her eyebrows sharply pointed down. "I _meant_ what I said last night, Skywalker. Your Force has brought me nothing but trouble."

Luke grabbed her hand, which didn't resist his action. "Rianna, listen to me. If you stop your lessons now you'll be lost. Don't you see that it's the dark side that's doing this to you? It _wants_ you to be afraid of me."

The queen pulled her hand out of Luke's. "And perhaps _you're_ the one who's inviting it in??"

Luke tried to control his breath, but it insisted on shaking as he spoke. "You'll become like my father, Rianna. You _will,_ I _feel _it. Maybe you've already started."

"Stop that," said Rianna.

The Jedi grabbed her shoulders and pulled her body towards him, his hands slowly moving down her back. "Please Rianna, _please_ listen. I'm not going to pretend that I know everything about what's going on, but if we work together, we can stop it. There's still time to save yourself, Rianna, there's still time!"

"Let go of me," Rianna said, though the only motion she gave was putting her palms on his chest and pushing back so slightly that Luke barely noticed it.

"NO!" The sudden volume of Luke's voice shocked him as much as it shocked the queen, but it did not silence him. "I'm _NOT_ letting you go - I'm _NOT LOSING YOU TO THE DARK SIDE!"_

Whatever feeble pushing that Rianna was attempting ceased. Her wide green eyes slowly looked up at him, her white lids barely blinking. Luke heard her swallowing, her inhales growing longer. Moisture grew at the edges of her eyes. There seemed to be another girl underneath that makeup crying out for help. His hands gradually moved her body closer to his until they were inches away from an embrace.

"I'm sorry, Skywalker..." Rianna finally whispered, "...but I can't go through with this." She grabbed his upper arms and pushed them to his sides, pinching them as if trying to absorb what they felt like, after which she stepped backward from him, taking long strides, growing smaller with distance.

"I don't want to see you again, Skywalker," she said in a shaky voice before turning and sprinting out of the room.

It was as if Luke had been thrown naked into the freezing temperatures of Hoth. His body felt numb, unable to move. Wetness bulged in his eyes, blurring the room into large stars. His hand continued to reach in front of him, though he knew he would grab only air.

Rianna had sealed her fate.


	42. Chapter 42

"My Mother"

By EsmeAmelia

AN: Thanks as always for all the reviews!

Chapter 42

Weeks passed. Padme and Leia's searching brought them many more representatives of the people, but they all met with the same result after talking with the queen. Rianna would accuse the representatives of being deluded and chasing foolish hope, and she would then accuse the ambassadors of being biased in their selections. Arguments became more and more brutal, never resolving anything.

Luke no longer accompanied his mother and sister at their meetings, as he thought that seeing his face might awaken the nightmares for Rianna. While they were gone, he sometimes helped Han and Chewie work on the Falcon, sometimes assisted Sola in preparing meals, sometimes went for long walks around the city, yet none of these activities could completely clear his mind.

A few times Luke attempted to calm himself with meditation, but even that was unsuccessful. It seemed that Rianna had taken an eternal lodging in his mind. He'd see her face during his meditations, occasionally hear her calling out to him, but any attempts to reach her would meet with that same barrier. She was like a ghost haunting his soul that could never be comforted.

Never at all.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

She skipped through the tall grass, laughing to herself, both hiding from him and awaiting when he'd find her. Once she had found a likely place, she crouched down on her hands and knees, anxiously waiting for him to come looking for her.

"Where's my little Rianna?"

She chortled, peeking out at him through the long blades and flowers, on eye-level with his knees.

"I know she's here somewhere, but where could she be?"

She imagined the big smile he must be wearing now. Part of her considered jumping out and surprising him, but she held her ground, waiting for the moment.

"THERE she is!"

She squealed with laughter as a pair of big arms scooped her up to a broad, warm chest and bounced her up and down. Her feet kicked in the air, relishing the sensation of being lifted.

"So how's my little treasure today?" her father's voice boomed.

She responded by giggling louder, followed by a whoop of delight when he raised her over his head, lowering her slightly to kiss her cheek, then raising her again, letting her fly.

"Higher! Higher!" she squealed.

He stretched his arms higher, spinning around, launching a giggling fit from his little daughter. "Higher!" she called.

The strong hands tossed her up, giving her a few seconds alone with the air around her before they would catch her again.

But they didn't catch her again.

She landed flat on her stomach against the hard ground, pain streaming through her body, hot tears streaming down her cheeks. Her sobs were so loud that they hurt her own ears, but her father gave no response to them. Where was he? Why wasn't he picking her up and kissing her sore parts? After crying into the ground for a few minutes, she slowly rolled over to her back to look up at him.

He was gone.

She scrambled to her feet, calling out to him through her tears and still receiving only silence in response - silence that caused her heart to beat ferociously. Her body soon broke into a run as desperate as that of an fugitive running from authorities. Sweat soon moistened her face and drizzled under her clothes.

Her cries went unanswered, soon dissolving into choking sobs as her steps dissolved into stumbles. A horrible stench filled her nostrils, making her nauseous. The smell eventually overwhelmed her, sending her to the ground in a fit of coughs.

She wasn't aware of much except that the air was darkening with smoke and the ground she had fallen onto scorched her skin with unbearable heat. Her lungs strained to collect air, bringing dizziness to her head. Where was she? What was this...was it...fire?

Fire!

Her consciousness swelled back into her. Though her vision was hazy, she could make out that she was lying on _something -_ not the bare ground. Something stiff...yet not solid. Several blinks finally revealed that she was actually looking down on a face.

A _face._

The face that only a few minutes ago had been laughing with her now stared up with complete emptiness, his irises and pupils clouded. She screamed in complete terror, jumping to her feet without being aware she was doing so. Her bare soles met a burn that felt like she was standing on hot coals, but somehow she couldn't move them.

The smoke blew around her in a cold, wet breeze - her upper half froze while her lower half burned, the horrid stench still boiling in her nostrils. Yet in her misery, she could make out gaps in the smoke, gaps which revealed more bodies like that of her father. Soon she realized she was _surrounded _by bodies. There was no ground to be seen in any direction, only an endless ocean of death.

She barely knew she was screaming, her head was buzzing so loudly. The smoke was building up again...consuming her...draining the life out of her. She shut her eyes so tightly that it felt like her skin was going to rip, willing death to just take her like it took all the others...

"Don't be afraid, child," a deep, slow, seductive voice said in the darkness.

Nearly before she comprehended the voice's presence, she felt herself being lifted again, but not by her father's arms, but by a stranger's arms. She still didn't open her eyes, but a pungent, musky scent filled her nostrils.

"Come come, little Rianna," the voice continued. "Crying isn't going to fix anything, now is it?"

The child finally gained the courage to open her eyes, revealing the face of an elderly man who was holding her. He had curly gray hair around his receding hairline and a smile that appeared both friendly and sinister.

"How...how can we fix it?" she asked in a small voice, unsure why she had said _we._

The hands patted her on the back, feeling almost like they were hitting her. "It is simple," the voice continued. "You have a power, young Rianna, a _strong_ power. Power enough to stop him."

"Who?"

Suddenly she was standing again, the stench of death once more filling her nostrils. A shadowy figure ran past her, a glowing red blade extending from its hand. She could make out none of the figure's details beyond that, yet somehow she _knew_ this was the blade that had sliced through all these people. Her eyes burned with tears as her heart swelled with anger.

"You can stop him," the voice hissed. "Harness your anger, and you will discover a power greater than his. You can destroy he who has destroyed so much."

She felt something cold, hard, and metallic appear in her hand. Though she lacked any knowledge of what it was, she gripped it like it contained her soul. Red light suddenly shot upward in front of her eyes, both irritating them and drawing them to stare at it. She felt hypnotized, unable to move, only granted the ability to look at the red glow.

"Yeeeesssss, yeeeeesssss..."

The voice momentarily broke the trance, allowing her to look up, seeing the shadow figure once again. The blade seemed to be speaking to her, telling her to raise it and strike down that mystery killer. She should do it...she _should_...yet some external force was stilling her hand.

"What are you waiting for? _KILL HIM!"_

Her lungs shook as if they were going to detatch themselves from her windpipe. The shadow in front of her had no face, no life indication of any sort, only cold, heartless black...she tried to will her hand to move the blade, but it still refused to obey.

"_KILL HIM NOW!" _

Her skin turned white from gripping the handle. The voice seemed to be crawling under her skin, swimming in her blood, controlling her arms to raise. She wanted to kill him - she _wanted _to - but it wasn't her mind that was moving her arms. It was something..._else_.

The blade plunged into the shadow's chest, yet although she knew she was doing it, it felt as if she were merely watching the killing. The dark body fell to the ground, affecting her no more than if she were reading about a fictional killing.

"Goooood...goood..."

The bony hand gripped her shoulder, squeezing like he was trying to cease her circulation. "You have done well, young Rianna. A fine apprentice you will make."

_Apprentice? _That question swirled in her mind with only the vaguest power, a tiny itch in her mind quickly consumed by emptiness. The longer she stood, the righter things seemed. His icy grip felt like a soothing massage, his sinister voice like a loving parent. She could no longer even remember why she had killed that shadow...she only knew she was glad to have done so...

"Thank you..." she whispered, "...my master."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Luke! Luke! Hey kid, com'on, wake up already! You're havin' a nightmare!"

Luke shot his eyes open, a scream exploding out of his mouth.

"Shit Luke, what happened??" Han's voice exclaimed.

Luke's scream dissipated, replaced by a series of quick gasps as he gradually comprehended that he was in bed with Han hovering over him and gripping his shoulders. Although the light was on, the window revealed the blackness of night. "What...what...what..." he struggled to say.

"You were screamin' bloody murder in your sleep," said Han.

"I was?" said Luke, feeling woozy.

"Yeah," said Han, an eyebrow up. "You all right?"

Luke breathed deeply. "I...don't know..."

Han's tongue brushed his upper lip. "O-kay kid, you want something to drink? Blue milk? Tea? How bout whiskey? That does wonders for nightmares."

"No," said Luke, his voice growing steady again.

"You sure?"

"Yes." Luke gripped Han's upper arm with his artificial hand. "Han...I think...I think I was having her dream."

Han flinched, trying to pry Luke's hand off his arm. "Hey kid, watch the hand. That thing's metal, don't forget."

Luke ignored him. "Han, I'm talking about the queen."

"_Forget_ the queen, Luke," Han said in exasperation. "You've been obsessed with her ever since we got here. She ain't worth your time."

"_Han!"_ Luke shouted as he shot to a sitting position. "She's been having nightmares that she refuses to tell me or anyone else about."

"So? Tons of people don't tell about their nightmares, kid."

"Han, most of those people aren't Force-sensitive. Sometimes the Force speaks to those of us who are through dreams." He fixed his stare on Han's still-skeptical eyes. "I think tonight the Force connected our dreams, letting me see some of what has been haunting Rianna."

"You're talkin' crazy, Luke."

"Han, in my dream I was _her,_" Luke persisted. "I was _her, _and I killed _me._"

Han was finally silenced.

Luke felt himself beginning to gasp again as he remembered something else. "And...and in my dream - her dream...I - she - turned to the dark side..." He fell against the back of the bed, numbness spreading through his body. "I think...I think it's happened...it's happened...I'm too late..."

There was a look of genuine concern in Han's eyes, but his brows were still raised. "You _sure_ about this, kid? You may be Force-sensitive, but you could also just be dreamin' this cause you've been thinkin' about her too much."

Luke sighed, unsure if he should press the matter with Han. Part of him felt like he was still in the dream, still lost in the dark. Or maybe _this _was the dream, and his reality was bound with Rianna, consumed by shadow.

Han lightly gripped Luke's shoulder. "Now listen, I know you're distressed, but I think what you need right now is some good sleep."

After a couple of slow breaths, Luke gave a small nod. "You're right, Han." He slid back under the covers, letting his head sink into the pillow. "Good night."

"Night, kid," said Han, rising from Luke's bed and returning to his own, shutting off the lights in the process. Luke closed his eyes, listening to Han's bed creaking as he climbed into it and the slight groan coming out of his mouth.

Luke's body remained still, but he did not sleep. His ears reached out for any sounds, finding only Chewie's soft snoring but not trusting that to mean that the whole room was safe. He periodically gave Han's mind a soft brush with the Force, waiting for the moment when he would fall asleep.

He felt Han's consciousness fading away, but still he waited. If he moved now, Han would awaken. No, he needed to stay still a little longer...a little longer...a little longer...

Luke soon felt _himself_ fading, but he fought it as if it were death instead of sleep. Just a little longer...a little longer...a little longer...

Han snored loudly, jolting Luke awake. A final probing of his mind revealed that he was deeply asleep, signaling that the time had come. Carefully and quietly, he slid out of bed onto the floor.

He crawled over to the corner where he had tossed his clothes, for once thankful that he had been less than neat. In darkness, he got dressed, which actually proved itself to be quite difficult.

Once he was dressed, he rose like he was in a trance, his mind fruitlessly trying to connect with Rianna's. He pranced towards the door, silently praying that it wasn't too late to save her.


	43. Chapter 43

"My Mother"

By EsmeAmelia

AN: Woo, I'm on a writing streak here! Thanks to the reviewers! (But man, just my luck that the site's emails screw up when I'm getting to the climax...)

Chapter 43

Padme came down the stairs, awake and dressed before everyone else, as was the norm. Yet somehow she couldn't shake the feeling that she had missed something - something very important. She couldn't place anything unusual about the night, but that notion that something had occurred gnawed at her mind.

After fixing herself a cup of caf, she sank down into the yielding cushions of the sofa, her hands wrapped around her mug as she blew into the steaming liquid. She breathed heavily, her mind trying to come up with a new way to approach the queen, as it had been for weeks now. Once again, nothing came to her. Even though she and Leia had found plenty of representatives with compelling reasons to join the New Republic, they seemed to be stuck in an endless circular debate with Rianna.

She took a long sip of her drink, the hot liquid irritating her tongue. Caf had become her friend lately, since she spent most of her nights thinking about her mission. She couldn't recall the last time she'd had a good night's sleep. Maybe the first night she was here.

It took her a few minutes to notice that the com on the other side of the room was beeping, and a few more minutes to gain the energy to get up from her seat to see what message had been left during the night. She pushed the button and the hologram of Queen Rianna appeared in front of her, making her gulp. Why would the queen be contacting her in the middle of the night? For that matter, why would the queen be contacting her at all? She tried not to let various horrific reasons enter her head as she slowly gained the courage to push the button that played her message.

"Ambassador Amidala," the hologram said in a voice even colder than the queen's usual tone, "you have harassed my planet long enough. You have twisted the minds of my people with your false hope and your empty promises."

Padme shuddered. Rianna's eyes looked lifeless, tranced, much like how Anakin's had on Mustafar.

"Your son showed up here last night," Rianna continued, a sinister grin now on her face. "He's quite courageous, but also so foolish. I sensed his coming to me long before it occurred. So full of misplaced compassion - he thinks he needs to save me. He doesn't realize that I have no need to learn the Force from him - I have already learned all I need to know."

Padme's eyes began to dry as she continued staring at the queen who now looked like she had been possessed.

"A great leader has taught me in dreams," Rianna explained with wicked relish. "You and your New Republic thought death would stop Palpatine? No, his ideals are far too great to let a meager thing like his death kill them. He may be dead, but his spirit lives on, teaching those who are willing to learn from him."

"What has he done to you?" Padme muttered even though the prerecorded message couldn't hear her. She felt as if she had been dunked into ice water that numbed her entire body. Now she bobbed limply in the water, the cold even removing the will to try to get back to the surface.

"Your son walked straight into a trap," Rianna said. "Listen carefully if you ever wish to see him alive again. Come to the palace as soon as you get this message - and come _alone._ If your daughter, son-in-law, or anyone else is with you, they will be killed. Meet me in the very center of the throne room."

With that the hologram faded away, yet Padme continued staring as if it were still there. Her heart was throbbing like it had on Mustafar, her lungs felt as dry as if she were being choked again. With every blink, she saw her husband's evil face spouting out his insane plans.

"MOTHER!!" Leia's voice cried, somewhat reminding Padme of the outside world's existence. She slowly turned to find Leia running down the stairs in her nightgown with such a force that Padme couldn't believe she wasn't tripping.

"Mother!" Leia said between gasps, leaning on the rail. "Mother, Luke's in pain. Terrible pain, I feel it. And he's...he's at the palace again."

Padme stared up at her daughter, slowly feeling the ice melting from her skin, her vigor returning. Her brows went down, a fire going off in her mind.

"Wake Han and Chewie and get dressed," she said in a low, determined voice. "We're going to the palace."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Luke couldn't remember what had happened. Only pain...horrible, mind-killing pain...pain that probably knocked him out. He remembered Rianna staring at him...a flash of bright light...his Force powers seeming to ebb away...

Bright light?

No...she couldn't have possibly learned _that_...could she?

Coughs pushed their way out of his mouth, memories of being overtaken by Sith lightning pounding in his mind like a headache, wondering if that was what had happened here. Where was he, anyway? He suddenly realized that his eyes were closed...yet opening them had no affect on his vision. The feeling of cloth against his eyes entered his awareness...he was blindfolded.

Suddenly struck with fear, he struggled to get up from where he was sitting only to find that he was chained to some sort of seat. He felt the uncomfortable pull of his hands jerked behind him and held there by icy binders. A foul odor crept into his nostrils, smelling of sewage.

"Luke?" a tiny voice whispered, sounding like it came from a considerable distance. "Luke, it's Pooja. I'm on the other side of the dungeon door."

_Dungeon_...Luke's personal history had repeated itself, only this time, instead of waking up in the queen's luxurious bedroom, he had become an actual prisoner.

"Pooja?" he said, his voice cracking. "Pooja, what's going on?"

"I wish I knew," Pooja whispered. "Rianna seems to have gone completely insane. I've tried talking to her...but she doesn't listen to me anymore. She doesn't listen to anyone anymore."

"Can you get me out of here?" Luke asked, knowing it was probably a useless question.

"No," said Pooja. "I don't know how to unlock this. And no, I don't know why you're here either...but it probably has something to do with your mother."

"Mother?"

"Yes..." Pooja said, her voice hushing even softer than before, "...I think you're bait for something..."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"And WHY did you think it was all right to go back to sleep??" Leia was shouting at Han. "It didn't even cross your mind that he might act on his impulses again??"

"Well _excuse_ me, I thought he might've learned his lesson last time," Han said with a sniff. "What was I supposed to do, guard him?"

"Yes!" exclaimed Leia, her fists in the air. "At least made sure that he was asleep before settling in yourself!"

"Maybe I could've gotten _you_ up to guard him - I'm sure you would've _loved_ that!"

"All RIGHT," Padme interrupted. "Fighting about this isn't going to get him back, now is it?"

The couple was silenced.

"That's better," said Padme, turning to her daughter. "Now Leia, I want you to put your Force senses to work. See if you can feel where they're keeping Luke."

Leia nodded, closing her eyes, her head tilting slightly upward, her mind releasing itself into the Force. "He's alive..." she said after a few minutes, her voice coming out with small puffs of air, "...but he's...hurt...hurt and bound...blindfolded..."

Padme and Han's eyes simultaneously widened. "Go on, Leia," said Padme. "Can you get any sense of what room he's in?"

"Yes..." Leia said stiffly. "...a cell of some sort...it's dark...nothing in it except a chair...where Luke is bound up..."

"The dungeon..." Padme said without question in her voice.

Leia opened her eyes. "I guess so."

"I thought as much," said Padme, a small sigh raising and lowering her chest. "Now listen, the queen gave me very specific instructions to come to her alone. She said...well, she said anyone accompanying me would be killed."

"That's comforting," said Han.

Padme ignored him. "So you guys will have to sneak in." She turned to the astromech droid next to her. "R2, could you please bring up your old map of the palace?"

R2 beeped in an excited tone and then projected a light out of his eye onto his table. The light soon shaped itself into a small model of the inside of the palace.

"You can't use the front entrance of the palace," said Padme. "However..." She pointed at the back side of the model. "...there is a secret entrance on the waterfall side of the palace. My troops once used this entrance to ambush the viceroy of the Trade Federation."

"Uh-huh, and how do we know Queenie doesn't know about this entrance?" said Han.

"We don't," said Padme, "but it's less likely that she'll have that entrance guarded. It's also narrow, which means you will have more chance of defending yourself in there."

Sounds like a plan, growled Chewie.

"So here's what we'll do," Padme continued, waving her finger around the hologram like a teacher waving a pointer. "Han and Chewie, you two will use this secret entrance. Set your blasters to stun and once you're inside the palace, you'll be going down this hall, taking two rights, then going down these stairs to the dungeons. Use your blasters - or maybe a small detonator if you have one, do you, Han? - to get Luke's door open, then get him out the same way you came in. Meanwhile, I'll be going to see the queen." She breathed deeply. "I don't know what she wants, but I've got a pretty good idea. I think if anyone can get her out of this, I can."

"And what do I do?" asked Leia.

"You'll be staying here," said Padme.

"WHAT??"

Padme faced her daughter, an eyebrow up. "Leia, you're a great fighter, but you're also _pregnant_. Do you want to put your babies at risk?"

Leia slowly put her hands on her round stomach, her eyes glancing down at it. "No...but you're forgetting one very big thing."

"What?"

"The queen is Force-sensitive," Leia said steadily. "Whether or not she knows about the secret entrance, she'll sense Han and Chewie's presence."

Padme gulped, her eyes going wide at the realization that her entire plan could collapse if that happened.

"They'll need me to come along with them," Leia continued. "I can shield our presence from the queen's senses."

"Now wait a sec, Leia," Han said, grabbing his wife's shoulders. "Chewie and I can take 'em - I'm _not _gonna let you take our children into a death trap!"

"And I'm not gonna let _you_ walk into a death trap unprotected!" Leia retorted, grabbing her husband's shoulders with a similar fierceness. "Han, if the queen catches you it would be a thousand Bespins all over again." Her pinches on his shoulders relaxed into strokes. "Believe me, I don't want to risk our babies' lives, I really don't, but we don't have a choice. I'm the only one of us who's Force-sensitive." Her hand slowly moved up to stroke her husband's rough cheek. "And I want our children to grow up with their father."

Han swallowed, his breath escaping through the slit between his lips. His hand ran down Leia's front, stopping on her stomach. "All right...all right, sweetheart," he mumbled. "But don't you risk their lives any more than absolutely necessary, ya hear me?"

"Agreed," said Leia.

Padme ran her lip between her teeth, unable to argue with Leia's assertion but not happy with it. "Well...does anyone have any questions?"

There were probably a thousand questions running through everyone's minds, but none of them were spoken."

"All right," Padme breathed. "Let's go."


	44. Chapter 44

"My Mother"

By EsmeAmelia

AN: Whew...this chapter was hard. Thanks again to all the reviewers!

Chapter 44

Surprisingly, the secret entrance to the palace didn't seem to be guarded. Leia, Han, and Chewie crept through the dark, narrow passageway, only breathing when necessary in case any unseen guards were listening. All were armed - Leia and Han with blasters, Chewie with his crossbow. Leia also had her lightsaber hidden under her shirt, but she would only use it if circumstances became desperate - she was still more comfortable fighting with a blaster. She concentrated her energy on shielding herself and the others from Rianna's senses - and hoping she was doing it right. It felt like she was distributing part of her soul out to blanket her companions...was that what it was supposed to feel like? Luke had taught her how to shield her presence, but her Jedi training was still incomplete - and one mistake might throw them all into Rianna's grasp. No...she shouldn't think about that, she shouldn't focus on the negative. She put her free hand on her stomach, feeling her babies moving within, reminding herself of what all she was protecting.

The hall grew narrower, leading up a small staircase...which in turn led to nothing except a dark ceiling. Chewie almost roared in despair at the dead end, but before he could make too much noise, Han pushed on the ceiling, revealing a crack of light and much-needed fresh air - the passage led to a trap door.

The threesome carefully crept out of the trap door, the pregnant Leia once more needing assistance from Chewie. Much as she loved the feeling of life inside of her, there were times when she couldn't wait to get her old body back.

"So far so good," said Han, circling around the other two with his blaster pointed in front of him. "Kay Leia, can you feel where Luke is?"

"He's not far," said Leia. "But..." Her Force senses were telling her something else as well. "...but Han, I wouldn't be showing that thing off if I were you."

"Why not?"

In what seemed like a millisecond, seven or eight guards rushed out from behind various beams, all of whom were equipped with at least two blasters. They ran up to the trio and immediately pointed their weapons at them, surrounding them from all directions.

"Freeze!" one of them shouted. "And hand over your weapons NOW!"

"That's why," Leia muttered.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Padme walked through the palace's main entrance hall as slowly as possible, yet with her head tilted upward, like a prisoner on her way to the execution platform. Her heart felt like it was trying to escape her chest, vibrating the rest of her innards. She carried no weapon, partly because she knew any weapon would be useless against the Force and partly, more importantly, because a weapon would communicate that she was coming to fight the queen, which she couldn't do, not if there was even the slightest chance of her turning back.

_Help me, Ani,_ she thought, though she neither expected nor received a response. _Show her where she's going, help her to turn back. _

She gulped, remembering the solution Obi-Wan had for Anakin's turning, how the mentor had thought there to be no hope for his former friend. Her hands twitched, her mind recalling the horror of that day. Was death now the only solution for Rianna? Anakin had eventually proven Obi-Wan wrong about him - that meant there was hope for the queen, right?

Those questions took root in her mind as she gradually made her way towards the throne room.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"You heard me - hand over your weapons!" the guard shouted.

Leia, Han, and Chewie held perfectly still for a few moments, neither resisting nor complying. Han looked like he wanted to shoot the guards, but Leia stuck up her hand, silently telling him to obey their command. She ever-so-slowly began handing her blaster to one of the guards. With much hesitation, Han and Chewie did the same.

"Now follow us," another guard said, briefly lowering his blaster.

The little moment of relaxation was all Leia needed to pull out her lightsaber and activate it. In one swift move, she swung the orange blade around her, slicing apart all the guards' blasters, surprising herself as much as she did them. She had never actually used a lightsaber in combat before.

Han and Chewie seized the moment to grab back their own weapons. Within seconds, Han was stunning half the guards and Chewie was throwing the other half to the ground, knocking them out even more effectively than a stunray. Soon the floor was littered with unconscious guards.

"Come on," Leia said, deactivating her lightsaber as Han handed her back her blaster. "Someone's bound to have heard that - it's only a matter of time before Rianna finds out we're here."

"Perhaps I could be of assistance?" a light voice said, steering all heads to look over at a corner.

"Pooja?" Leia exclaimed.

"No time for explanations," said Pooja. "Follow me, I can take you to Luke."

"And we're gonna trust Her Royal Highness's advisor, why?" Han said with a sneer, after which Leia poked him in the side.

"Because I'm your cousin," Pooja said in a single breath. "Come on, hurry!"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Several more guards stood between the group and the dungeons, but fortunately, most of them were alone and easy to stun or knock out. They soon picked up speed, running as fast as humanly possible down the steps to the dungeon. Even Leia was running like she did in battle, though it hurt her stomach to do so. She thought of slowing down...she probably should slow down, but the babies were still eagerly kicking, as if they wanted her to save their uncle.

"He's in this one," Pooja said between pants, throwing herself against one of the cell doors.

"Stand back," Leia said. "I'll get us in."

She activated her lightsaber and jammed the orange blade into the door, forging a path of molten metal. Her arms began to ache, the heat feeling like her arms were about to catch fire. Even with the strength of a lightsaber blade, it still turned out to be a difficult chore to carve through a prison door. It seemed like hours before the metal finally fell, creating a makeshift doorway.

"Leia! Han! I'm over here!" Luke's voice shouted over the crashing sound.

Luke was sitting in a chair in the farthest corner of the cell, his hands and feet bound, a black blindfold covering his eyes. His shirt and pants were torn in various places, revealing fresh cuts in his skin.

"Okay Luke, what the hell does it take for you to learn not to sneak off to see the queen??" Han shouted.

"Leia, it's happened," Luke said desperately. "She's turned."

"We know," Leia said as she pulled the blindfold off, revealing a blackish blue mark around one of his eyes.

"Where's Mother?" Luke gasped, barely seeming to notice that Chewie was yanking his binders apart. "She's with Rianna, isn't she? She's fallen right into it just like I did."

"Yes, she's with her," Leia said hastily, pulling Luke to his feet. "But she's got some sort of plan, I think. Right now we need to get you out of here. And probably to medical attention."

"No," Luke said, stumbling towards the door. "We need to help her."

Leia sighed. "Luke, I don't feel that Mother's in any trouble she can't handle."

"Not Mother," Luke said. "Rianna."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The throne room was dark, even the windows were shut, letting only tiny cracks of sunlight in. Padme's every step seemed to echo several times off of the high walls. She heard her breath increasing its tempo as she got closer to the center, synchronizing itself with her heart's pounding. The next few minutes might lead to redemption or death, and she was the only thing that could determine what would happen.

Suddenly she felt the coldness of metal pressed against her forehead, followed by the sight of the queen, her eyes burning with hatred, her hands pressing a blaster against Padme's head, looking like she wanted nothing more than to pull the trigger.

"Hello, Ambassador," she said in a cold, wicked voice.

Padme inhaled as deeply as she could without bursting her lungs. "Did you invite me here only to kill me, Your Highness?" she said steadily.

"This is not set to stun," Rianna spat. In the dim light, her eyes glowed an inhuman yellow, eerily similar to Anakin's eyes on Mustafar. She breathed heavily and loudly like an animal who had just been injured. "I long thought the shadow in my dreams was your son, Ambassador. After all, he was the one who fired that blast that killed so many of us and led to the Empire's defeat. But no, I wasn't thinking back far enough."

"How do you mean?" Padme said in a slow voice.

"It was you who started it, Ambassador." Rianna pressed the blaster in further, digging the metal into her skin. "You who bore the twins who brought down the Empire. You who prevented Lord Vader from reaching his full potential. Oh yes, even though your memory grew weaker with the passing of time, Lord Vader could never fully eliminate it. It always made him hesitant to do what had to be done, such as killing your daughter the instant he captured her."

"You're insane," Padme grumbled.

"Am I?" growled Rianna. "I was insane before - it's only now that I see the truth. It's only now that I know this strength Palpatine could give me. This wonderful feeling of not being afraid, of knowing that you can overtake whatever comes your way." She pressed the blaster in so far that it felt like it was trying to drill into Padme's skull without firing. "That you can kill the shadow that haunts your dreams."

Padme had to use all her willpower to keep herself still, to ignore her dancing stomach and rushing nerves. "Is this what you want, Rianna? You want to be a slave just like my husband was?"

"I am no one's slave!" Rianna hissed. "I am free for the first time in my life!"

"You only think that because the dark side has twisted your mind," Padme continued. "Listen to yourself, Rianna - _listen!_ This _isn't you_. Someone else is overtaking you - someone you don't even know, someone you'll become."

Rianna's angular eyebrows held firm, the skin they brought down nearly covering her eyes.

"Killing me won't bring your father back," Padme said hastily. "Nothing the dark side can do will bring _anyone_ back."

"So you think I've done all this simply to chase idle fantasies??" Rianna shouted. "No, this is about my future."

"Yes," said Padme. "Your future. Look at yourself, Rianna. This moment right now, this is all that your future will ever be if you pull that trigger. It will not satisfy you to kill only me. Just like my husband, you will never be satisfied - you'll only become a machine."

She thought she felt the blaster barrel shake slightly, though the fire in Rianna's eyes wasn't dissipating. "What right have you to say what your husband was??" she hissed. "What right have you to say what I am?? The dark side of the Force took away the fears that have haunted me for so long."

"In exchange for your _soul!!"_ Padme yelled. "Rianna, I KNOW you don't want to be like this!" Her tone grew more and more desperate. "I KNOW you, Rianna!"

"You KNOW me??" Rianna exclaimed, grabbing Padme's wrist with her free hand. "You know me as what, the heartless Imperial monster who doesn't care about her planet?? My power can save Naboo now. We no longer need the Empire or the New Republic or anyone else to take care of us."

"Those are Palpatine's empty promises talking to you," Padme stuttered, barely able to hear herself over her own heartbeat. "Rianna, I once heard my husband talking like you are, spouting out plans to rule the galaxy that never came to pass. Why? Because he was being USED!" She gripped Rianna's hand in her own. "The dark side gave him nothing - it only pushed him further and further into its abyss. The same thing will happen to you if you don't resist it now."

Rianna smirked. "What makes you think I can still resist it if I've already fallen into your so-called abyss?"

Padme breathed in, filling her lungs, forcing the next words out of her mouth. "You haven't pulled the trigger yet."

By reflex, her eyes squeezed shut, expecting the blast to fire through her head, her mind producing images of Luke and Leia, wanting to remember them in her moment of death. There was a second when she thought it had happened, but she still felt nothing. Was death painless? No...what had happened was the barrel's pressure removed from her skin...the queen's grip released from her wrist...

Her eyes slowly opened, bringing Rianna back into her vision, her hand still pointing the blaster at her, but her eyes widening and her breath panting. Her mouth was a round gap through which the broken bits of air traveled, slowly materializing into words.

"I have to...I have to...I have to..." she muttered.

"No..." Padme whispered. "No...you don't. Think, Rianna, _think._ My son didn't give up on you - don't you give up on yourself."

"Your son..." Rianna gasped.

Padme's breath was becoming as loud as the queen's. "Yes..." she mumbled, "...yes, my son." All Luke's behavior in the past weeks flooded onto her, stunning her as if the trigger had been pulled, suspicions becoming realizations. "Rianna...you're more than a student to him...more than a danger...more than..." Her muscles tightened, once more anticipating the blast. "...more than _anything._ Why do you think he wants so badly to save you from the dark side? It's not only fear." She swallowed like she had a rock in her throat. "It's _love._"

For a moment everything was still, as if the statement had failed to reach Rianna's ears, but then her chest started shaking, spreading its vibration to the rest of her body, her eyes bulging, showing the redness around them. Her uneven breaths betrayed tiny cracks of voice. "I...I...I...can't...no...no...I can't...too strong...too strong...too strong..."

"Yes you CAN!" Padme screamed.

The blaster slowly moved away from Padme's head, creeping away a little at a time, Rianna's hand moving as if it were carrying a large weight.

"Yes..." Padme whispered. "Yes...yes...yes...you can do it!"

For a few seconds it seemed that Rianna was succeeding. She pulled the weapon away from the ambassador, ever-so-slowly turning it around...

...and pointing it at herself.

Padme sucked in her breath. "Rianna...Rianna, NO!"

Rianna's lips shook, a tear streaming down her face as she pressed the barrel into her own heaving chest. "It's too strong...it will come after me...make me a monster..."

"NO! YOU CAN'T!!" Padme dived for the queen, her hand reaching out to grab the blaster, but Rianna's Force reflexes were too powerful. She dodged Padme's movement, sending her into a heap on the floor.

Padme scrambled to a sitting position just in time to see Rianna's teary face above her, her hand digging the weapon into her chest.

"Tell your son I'm sorry," she whispered.

She pulled the trigger.


	45. Chapter 45

"My Mother"

By EsmeAmelia

AN: Hey all! Did we lose anyone with that last chapter? ;) Yeah, I know, I scared you guys, so I figured I'd better have a quick update before an angry mob comes after me. ;) Anyway, thanks as always for all the reviews!

Chapter 45

It was as if Padme had been whisked into an alternate form of awareness. The sound of the blast, the image of Rianna falling, the sound of her body hitting the floor, the blaster sliding across the floor, the smell of her blood, all distorted itself in her senses, as if it were some seamless, senseless explosion in her head. The ambassador crawled towards the body without being aware of her limbs' movement, only that she was somehow getting closer to Rianna. The metallic scent of blood clogged her nostrils, disorienting her further.

Rianna's body lay in a crumpled position reminiscent of a fetus curled in the womb. Her left arm was slumped over her chest and her right arm was stretched across the floor, reaching for nothing. Her eyes were closed, her mouth hanging open, a brownish red stain in her green dress growing larger by the second.

Yet when Padme reached the body, a tiny sound brushed her ears, a sound that brought stimulation back to her soul.

_Breath._

The labored, uneven breath coming from Rianna's open mouth woke up Padme's mind, driving her body to scoop the queen into her arms. The weight of Rianna's body and the stickiness of her blood gave no hindrance to Padme rising to her feet, desperately looking around for help.

At that moment, Luke, Leia, Han, Pooja, and Chewie burst into the room, all gasping at the sight of Padme carrying Rianna's lifeless body.

"Sh-sh-she shot herself!!" Padme cried. "Shot herself, she needs help!"

"My speeder, QUICK!!!" Pooja shouted.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Rianna was rushed to the nearest hospital, which was a distance away even when using Pooja's speeder. The emergency room admitted her right away, where it was immediately determined that she needed an operation as quickly as possible if there was even the slightest chance of saving her.

Padme, Luke, Leia, Han, Pooja, and Chewie were left to wait. They sat in the waiting room in silence as time drifted past them, no one making an attempt to start conversation. Conversing wouldn't appease anything - they could only wait in this conquering silence.

Hours crept by. The heavily pregnant Leia fell asleep with her head on Han's shoulder. Pooja sobbed bitterly with Padme trying in vain to comfort her, cradling her niece like a child, stroking her shaking chest.

"Why...why..." Pooja said between sobs, the first words spoken since they sat down.

Padme ran her fingers through her niece's hair. "She was frightened...frightened that if she were allowed to live she would become an evil creature."

The advisor wailed louder, hot tears racing down her cheeks, burying her face in her aunt's chest.

Luke could only stare ahead, his mother and cousin barely registering in his vision. Even a task so simple as moving his fingers felt impossible. Not because of his injuries - a doctor here had looked at his injuries and found that the most serious thing was his black eye. Rianna's wounded body moving away on the hovering stretcher couldn't escape his mind. The liquid in his stomach felt like it was swirling through his entire body.

Maybe he should be crying like Pooja was. Why _wasn't_ he crying? Why couldn't any tears form? It seemed that his eyes had forgotten how to produce tears just as his body had forgotten how to move. An important part of his spirit was inside that operating room, lying unconscious and close to death just as Rianna was.

Rianna...

Her name repeated itself to him, her face refusing to wane. He wanted to speak to her through the Force, give her strength to survive the operation, but she was in complete blackness that not even dreams could reach.

"Hey Luke, you okay?"

With great effort, Luke managed to turn his head to face Han, who was sitting next to him, his face making no effort to hide how awkward this felt to be waiting in a hospital to learn the fate of someone he once hated.

"Han...I can't reach her," Luke said without knowing why he was saying it.

Han put his hand on Luke's shoulder - with a bit of difficulty since Leia was sleeping on his other side. "Kid, if I knew what to say here, I'd say it."

"I know you would," said Luke. He exhaled loudly, nearly draining his lungs.

Han's lips scrunched, twisting to the side. "This ain't just about preventing another Sith, is it?"

"What?"

"You and her," Han continued. "You haven't been obsessin' over her just for the good of the galaxy, have you?"

Luke felt like cold water was seeping into his skin. "What are you talking about?"

"Like you don't know," said Han, leaning as far as he could towards Luke, his fingers beginning to dance on his shoulder. "I think you _like_ her."

Luke's brain began shaking, like a loud siren had gone off next to his ears, numbing them to further sound. "Han..." he said once he could speak again, "...this isn't exactly a good place or time to tease me like that."

"I'm not teasin' you, kid," said Han, removing his hand from Luke's shoulder. "I'm just tellin' you what I think."

Luke began tapping the fingers of his artificial hand on his knee, concentrating on the hardness. "Han...really...it's a bit early to assume that, isn't it?"

"What _is_ it with you Skywalkers and not admittin' your feelings?" Han mumbled.

"Ani wasn't like that," Padme intercepted.

"Well maybe they inherited it from you, then," said Han.

Luke couldn't find the energy or the desire to even grin at Han's statement. His mind returned to the operating room, the Force continuing to tell him nothing other than that Rianna was alive, but only faintly. He began unconsciously mouthing her name as if that would heal her, his head lowering so no one would see it. Han's words in his head, Rianna's name in his lips, and Pooja's crying in his ears merged together into a sort of wordless song.

_Live, Rianna,_ he thought. _Live. _

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The entire group soon completely lost track of time. It began to seem like they had been sitting in that waiting room forever, that the outside world had ceased to exist. It came as a rather large startling when a doctor finally approached them, waking Leia up and bringing Padme and Luke to their feet.

"Well, we've done all we can," the doctor said, her voice calm but her eyes betraying uncertainty. "The blast came extremely close to her heart - it's a wonder that she even survived it for a few minutes. Not to mention that she lost a phenomenal amount of blood."

"Will she live??" Luke asked with more desperation than he expected.

The doctor sighed. "It's hard to tell right now. If her will is strong enough, then she has a good

chance...but I can't make any promises."

"Is she awake?" Padme asked.

"Not yet, but you're welcome to come and see her."

The group immediately rose and began following the doctor to Rianna's room.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Rianna lay stretched out on her back like she was a corpse and the hospital bed was a coffin, her arms straight and at her sides, her black hair spread out around her head, her chest wrapped in stiff bandages. The white covers were pulled up to her waist, neatly tucked under her arms. Her normally-tan face had turned horribly pale, her lips parted slightly, showing her teeth.

That sight finally pushed the tears out of Luke's eyes. They began as a tiny drizzling down his cheeks, barely noticeable, but within seconds they were joined by sobs heaving out of his chest, growing louder. He buried his face in his hands, trying in vain to catch the tears. Could he have prevented this? Had he _caused_ this?

He felt his mother's arms wrapping around him, her hands gently patting his back. "It's all right, Luke..." she whispered, "...it's all right."

Luke pushed himself out of her embrace, stumbling closer to Rianna's bed, his real hand grasping her hand, stroking her palm. He gazed at her closed eyes, willing life to return to them, a silent, formless prayer. Her image blurred again from tears, nearly blocking the sight of her eyelids beginning to move.

Her eyes slowly blinked open, seemingly a few seconds before awareness returned. Her breath abruptly became shaky as consciousness swirled back into her, her fingers curling around Luke's.

"L-L-L-L-Luuuuuukkkkkke?" she whispered with barely a voice.

It almost passed over Luke's mind that she had called him by his first name - he had to restrain himself from throwing his arms around her. "Rianna!" he breathed, more tears streaming down his face. "Rianna!"

"Luke..." Rianna said again, looking like she was struggling even to move her eyes. "Luke...what happened to me?"

Luke swallowed, running his thumb between her knuckles. "I still don't know for sure...but I think Palpatine's ghost was visiting your dreams, trying to make you his new apprentice."

"Palpatine..." Rianna said faintly, "...yes...I remember seeing him..." She stared up at the Jedi. "I...I almost became his slave...didn't I...?"

Luke nodded hesitantly. "Rianna...do you remember it all?"

Rianna closed her eyes, taking in a heave of violent breath. "I wish I didn't..."

Luke continued stroking her hand, absorbing her soft skin. "He's gone now, Rianna. You drove him out of you. You did it."

Rianna winced in pain. "No...no...I didn't...your mother did..." She slowly opened her eyes. "I...I can't believe I..."

"Shhh," Luke interrupted, now gripping her fingers with both his hands - and strangely, she didn't seem to notice the metal. "You need to rest. It's over now - don't let it trouble your mind."

The queen breathed deeply and unevenly, staring at Luke through her slowly-blinking eyelids as sleep gradually conquered her. Although she continued to struggle with every breath, Luke could sense that her sleep was restful - for perhaps the first time in a long while. Almost without thinking, he leaned over and kissed her forehead, lingering in the little moment of his lips touching her skin.

"Luke," Padme said, reminding Luke that she and the others were there, "do you really think it's over?"

Luke stepped over to his family. "It's over for her. She conquered the dark side when it was consuming her. It may still whisper to her, but she's too strong for it now." He put his hand on his mother's shoulder. "Thanks to you."

Padme gave a tiny smile, but Leia continued staring at the bed. "Luke..." she said, "...if Palpatine's ghost could find her, doesn't that mean he could find others?"

Luke gave a heavy sigh. Leia had just asked the question he'd been avoiding. "Yes..." he finally said, "...it probably does."

A nearly substantial silence followed. Rianna was only one of the Force-sensitives scattered around the galaxy, any one of whom Palpatine's ghost could claim as his victim - and it only took one faltering soul to make a Sith.

"Well kid," Han finally said, "looks like you'd better get started on that Jedi school."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

As the days passed, Rianna slowly grew stronger. Pooja stayed at the hospital with her queen, unwilling to leave her alone. Luke made sure to visit Rianna twice every day, sometimes accompanied by Padme, Leia, or even Han, but most of the time by himself. No one ever talked about her suicide attempt, since the fact that she was trying to recover meant she now wanted to live.

Rianna actually seemed to look forward to Luke's visits. He would often show up with snacks that were a welcome change from the hospital meals. One time he brought a portable holochess game, which kept them both engaged until the doctors had to drag Luke out because visiting hours were over. They would chat about everything from the weather to their childhoods, or sometimes he would sit on the edge of her bed and they would watch the holovision together (if they could find something other than news bulletins about the queen's hospitalization). Rianna actually started to laugh - something Luke had never heard her do before, but once he had a taste of it he loved the sound of her laugh. He would hear it in his head on the way home, keeping his spirits raised.

Of course, once it became clear that Rianna was going to recover, Han never missed an opportunity to tease Luke.

"Goin' to see your girlfriend, kid?" Han said with his mischievous grin when he saw Luke heading for the door.

Luke rolled his eyes. "Han, she's not my girlfriend, and this got old the first time."

"Sure, sure she's not," said Han, his grin showing no signs of fading. "She's just gonna become that when she gets outta the hospital and you guys can date."

Luke felt himself blushing. "Han...Han, you're jumping to conclusions."

Han ignored him. "I can't _wait_ till you guys have kids. What a great story to tell them - how Daddy and Mommy got together by Mommy shooting Daddy."

"_HAN!!"_ Luke shouted. "Doesn't the Falcon need work or something?"

"Fine kid," said Han, putting his hands in his pockets and walking off. "See ya at the wedding."

Luke growled to himself as he stepped outside.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Luke entered Rianna's hospital room to find her sitting up in bed, an excited smile on her face. Her face was flushed and her hair wet - she seemed to have had her first real bath since she'd shot herself. After a few more steps, Luke caught the fruity scent of shampoo.

"Luke!" Rianna exclaimed.

Luke smiled at her. "I hear someone's going to be released tomorrow."

Rianna's smile grew wider. "Yes, that's what they say. They'd better hold true to their word as well, because I'm already set to give an announcement to my people tomorrow."

"Announcement?" Luke exclaimed as he sat on the foot of her bed. "What kind of

announcement?"

Rianna lifted an eyebrow and cocked her head, as if the answer was obvious. "That we're joining the New Republic."

So much had happened that Luke had nearly forgotten about the political reason why they were on Naboo - it took him a moment or two to comprehend what she had said, but once he did, a large open-mouthed grin burst onto his face. "Rianna..." he said between happy gasps, "...Rianna, that's wonderful!"

The queen nodded. "I've already asked your cousin to represent me in the senate. In another year or two I plan to return to the tradition of electing our rulers - I don't think this is the sort of thing I want to do forever." She grabbed a fistful of the sheet. "In fact, I _know_ it isn't."

Luke leaned forward, trying to resist the temptation to grab Rianna's hand. "Do you know what you'll do after you step down yet?"

"Not yet," said Rianna, leaning against the back of the bed. "I supposed I'll figure that out when the time comes."

They sat in comfortable silence for around a minute before Rianna's face slightly tensed up. "Luke...I never did thank you, did I?"

Luke scrunched his face. "There's nothing to thank me for. If I hadn't let you know that you were Force-sensitive, maybe you could have avoided all this."

"The dark side would have found me eventually," Rianna said with complete certainty. "I was probably heading for it even before I met you. Ever since my father died...I don't know how to explain this...I felt permanently angry at everything. Not just you - at everything in existence." She gazed into the Jedi's eyes - in the hospital light Luke could see his reflection in her pupils. "Yet now that I've gotten to know you...I actually think he would have liked you. It's strange..."

Luke scooted up the mattress and lightly put his fingers on her cheek. "Well, I still don't need a thank you. You thanked me enough when you stopped calling me Skywalker." His hand slipped down and rested itself on the queen's.

Half of Rianna's mouth turned upward. "Your last name's a mouthful to say over and over - it was bound to happen." A small sigh emerged from her lips. "Now...what am I to do with my Force-sensitivity?"

"That's for your to decide," said Luke, shifting his eyes a bit. "But just so you know, when my Jedi academy opens, it will always be welcoming new students."

Rianna gave a full breath. "Well...I still don't think I want to be a Jedi. Although..." The other half of her mouth turned upward as her fingers flicked and a flower floated out of the vase next to the bed and into Luke's lap. "...I suppose the Force can be useful sometimes."

Luke brought the flower up to his nose, inhaling its sweetness for a second or two before he realized something.

"Hey," he said, "this is from the bouquet _I_ gave _you_ the other day!"

The two immediately broke into a fit of laughter.

AN: No, the story's not over yet! Remember Leia? That's all I can say about what's coming up, so keep looking. :)


	46. Chapter 46

"My Mother"

By EsmeAmelia

AN: Thanks to all the reviewers again! Sorry this chapter's so short - it's another transition.

Chapter 46

After Rianna made the announcement that Naboo was joining the New Republic, Padme and her family decided to stay there for a little while longer to help the people rebuild their planet. At least that was what Padme told Mon Mothma. Although they were indeed helping to pick up the pieces of old Naboo, the actual reason why they were staying was a personal one.

It was Luke who had requested that they stay - and before that it was Rianna who had asked Luke if he would remain on Naboo a bit longer. She gave no reason other than that she didn't want him to leave yet. It was up to Padme to come up with a reason for them to stay longer that would be feasible to the senate, and given her experience as a politician and the fact that she too was hesitant to leave, that wasn't difficult for her. Although Luke and Rianna hadn't admitted to anything past being new acquaintances, the amount of time they spent together made all suspicious of something further.

Pooja was sent to Coruscant in her new role as Naboo's senator. She was more than a little nervous about the prospect of leaving her home and her queen, but the financial need of her planet overweighed any of that. Besides, Rianna had several projects in mind that needed the money in order to get started.

One of the first projects Rianna got to work on was reopening the hospital where Padme was born and Nia used to work. With Padme and Leia's help, it was carried through within a few weeks, faster than even they had thought possible. Nia got her job back, as well as an apartment large enough for herself and her roommates.

Meanwhile, at Sola's house, the guests had made slight changes in their sleeping arrangements. Padme had switched beds with Han, putting her in her parents' room with Luke and Chewie and Han in her room with Leia. Even in all the goings on, it was impossible to forget that Leia would be having her babies any day now, and Han wanted as much time with her as possible.

"Mmmm," Han muttered one night, breathing deeply into Leia's hair as they sat on her bed. "Ya know, you should talk to your aunt about gettin' a double bed in here."

Leia smirked. "Somehow I don't think she'll listen. Unless we want to move in here permanently, but I don't think she'll listen to _that_ either."

"Well it's not fair," said Han, rubbing her shoulders. "I should be able to sleep with my wife when we're gonna become parents soon." His hands gracefully slipped down to her belly, which by now had grown so large that she had difficulty walking longer than a short distance.

"We _could_ have gone back to Coruscant, you know," said Leia. "Just because Rianna wanted _Luke_ to stay didn't mean _we_ had to."

Han started tickling her belly. "If I recall correctly, _you're_ the one who said you wanted 'em to be born here."

"And _you're_ the one who didn't protest," retorted Leia, grabbing her husband's face and kissing his cheek. "Besides, I don't think you want me rolling over on you, do you?"

"Squished under an angel? I think I could handle that," Han said with a grin.

Leia grinned back at him, figuring it was time to change the subject. "Do you think the babies will get their grandmother's determination?"

Han's eyes bulged. "Hey, wait a sec, what about their _mother's_ determination?"

Leia wove her fingers between her husband's. "Her determination is different from mine. I don't know how to explain it, but I think that if it had been me going to see the queen, she wouldn't have turned away from the dark side."

"Now that's called underestimating yourself," said Han.

Leia sighed as she rubbed her stomach. "I want them to be like their grandmother anyway."

"Can't argue there," said Han. "Specially since their mother inherited a lot from their grandmother." He leaned forward, gently lifting her nightgown so he could kiss her belly.

Leia smiled as she ruffled Han's hair. It was odd, the thought that her children were going to be born on a planet she had barely heard of when they were conceived. But then again, the entire last nine months hadn't exactly been what she would have expected. She tried to imagine what would have happened if she hadn't found her frozen mother, but discovered that there was never an option to _not_ find her. Her life was incomplete then, even though she was unaware of it at the time.

"Can you really believe it, Han?" she said in a dazed manner.

"What?" Han said in a muffled voice, his lips against Leia's skin.

"I spent my entire life thinking I would never know my mother," Leia continued. "There are still times when I wonder if it was all a dream."

Han rested his head on her stomach, listening for the babies moving, showing off his head of messy hair to his wife. "Well, sometimes I feel the same way thinkin' about my life with you."

Leia rubbed his hair like he was a pet. "Better enjoy doing that while you can, Flyboy - they'll be coming out soon."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Leia couldn't sleep. She wasn't sure if it was because the babies seemed to enjoy kicking tonight or because she kept thinking about them for some reason, how she wanted to know them better, to see their faces, to touch them with her hands and not just with her internal organs. She tried to think about her mother instead...but that only brought the thought that Padme would soon be a _grand_mother. Her children would have a grandparent...something else she hadn't expected them to have. She breathed steadily, her mind reaching inside of her to those two beautiful souls.

Suddenly, a burst of pain, unlike any pain she'd had before, rushed through her stomach. She tried to restrain herself from making noise, but a loud groan pushed itself out of her mouth. The pain sent numbness to the rest of her body, eliminating all possible distraction. For a few long seconds, her only thought was to stop this.

Then it ceased. She lay staring up at the dark, catching her breath, a slow realization coming to her, splashing through her soul. Something she thought she was ready for, something she had spent nine months preparing for, yet now that it was actually happening, she felt as naive about it as she was at the beginning.

She slid out of bed and tiptoed over to Han's bed, intent on telling him in the gentlest way possible - though she knew that no matter how gently he was told, he would probably break into panic.

"Han," she whispered, nudging his back. "Honey, you'd better get up." When he gave no response, she resorted to shaking him. "Han, come on, wake up, there's something very _very_ important you need to know."

With a long yawn, Han finally opened his eyes. "Oooh...Leia...what is it?"

Leia swallowed as if she were having problems getting food down. "Han...it's time. The babies are coming."


	47. Chapter 47

"My Mother"

By EsmeAmelia

AN: Hey all! Thanks for reviewing!

Chapter 47

"WAKE UP, WAKE UP! C'MON GUYS, WAKE UP ALREADY!!"

Han frantically flicked the lights on in the other bedroom, meeting with a string of groans from Luke, Padme, and Chewie.

"Ugh...Han...can't a Jedi get any sleep around here anymore?" Luke mumbled, pulling the covers over his head.

Padme yawned, her bleary eyes struggling to open. "What's going on...?"

Han gave a frustrated sigh. "Oh, nothing much, nothing worth disturbin' your beauty sleep for, I'm sure, just that LEIA'S IN LABOR!!!"

"WHAT??" three voices exclaimed at once. "WHAT DID YOU SAY??"

"Oh so I gotta repeat it now?" Han shouted, throwing his hands up. "Listen carefully. Leia's...in...la..."

"We heard you," Padme interrupted, jumping out of bed and walking up to her son-in-law. "Han, you need to stay calm." She put a hand on his shoulder. "Take a deep breath and then we'll get Leia to the hospital."

Han took a deep breath that sounded more like an air pipe that was leaking than a calming inhale, but it would have to do if Leia was to get to the hospital in a timely fashion.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Leia!" Nia exclaimed when she saw the family checking in to the hospital.

Leia smiled at her. "Hello Nia, are you enjoying the nightshift?"

"Are you kidding? I love being able to work here again, no matter what time of day it is." She grinned and put a hand on her hip, slyly looking down at Leia's stomach. "Are you here for the reason I _think_ you're here?"

Leia was about to answer, but the pain from another contraction causing her to grip her stomach answered for her.

"I'll take that as a yes," said Nia.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Leia, Han, and Padme were soon settled into a large, roomy, double-bed hospital room on one of the high stories. Luke and Chewie, however, decided that they probably didn't want to see Leia give birth, so they opted to stay in the waiting room until it was over. Nia and two other doctors took it on themselves to watch over Leia during her labor and assist her in the birth.

While Leia lay in bed waiting for contractions, Han paced nervously around the room and Padme sat by the window, taking in the sight of her planet from above. From this height she could see the lights that dotted the buildings and the moon's wavy reflection in the lake. The palace stood in the distance, its domed roof glowing faintly in the moonlight. Padme felt like she was fourteen again, gazing down at the view from the palace's balcony the first night after she was elected queen.

"Mom, you're drivin' me crazy there," she heard Han say, needing to inhale before every word.

Padme turned away from the window to face her disheveled son-in-law. "Is there any reason why?"

"You're too calm," Han said bluntly.

Padme stood up. "Oh, so you want me to pace around until I wear out the floor too?"

Han rolled his eyes. "Look, if _your_ hubby had been around durin' your childbirth, I'd be willin' to bet he'd be in worse shape than I am."

"Probably," was all Padme said.

Leia groaning distracted Han from the conversation. He rushed over to her bed as if she were dying, squeezing her hand with both of his. "Leia? Leia honey, you okay? Need me to get you something?"

"No Han...I'm fine," Leia said between breaths.

"I don't think so," Han muttered. "You're lookin' pale."

"And you would too if you had two kids racing to get out of your body," retorted Leia. "Han, Nia and the other doctors will let us know if something's amiss. I dare say they've had more experience with this sort of thing than you have."

Han sighed. "All right, all right...but you sure you don't want me to get you something?"

"Yes," Leia said with a frustrated hiss.

Nia patted the father-to-be on the back. "Han, I've seen a lot of fathers worry about their wives - it's completely natural. How about I get _you_ something to drink?"

"It's tempting, but no thanks - I don't want to be stoned when my kids come."

A giggle escaped Nia's mouth before she could speak again. "I meant something like water."

Padme and even Leia burst into laughter while Han's face reddened. "All right," he mumbled, "water's fine."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

As the hours passed, Han's worried pacing and his frantic jumping to Leia's side whenever she made the slightest noise was started to annoy Padme. She did suppose that Anakin would have been just like that if he had been around when Luke and Leia were born, though. Maybe that was why Han was annoying her - he was taking her back to that time. She would be able to witness the entire process of her daughter's childbirth - and yet she barely remembered her own. What should have been the happiest day of her life turned out to be one of the worst days of her life...and almost the _last _day of her life. She shivered slightly, the amazement that she was actually alive returning to her.

Han's loud footsteps disturbed her musings. He was taking long strides from one end of the room to the other, seeming determined to stomp holes in the floor. Although Leia's face was sweating and her contractions were getting closer together, that didn't stop her from grinding her teeth in irritation. Padme guess that she was a few stomps away from shouting at her husband.

And she was right.

"Han!" Leia said in a growly voice. "For the sake of me staying sane while I give birth, could you _please_ sit down for a while??"

Han momentarily ceased his pacing to look at his wife. "Sit down and do what?? Watch you lyin' there in pain??"

"Sit down and think about your children that are going to be born soon," Leia suggested.

"_IF_ nothing goes wrong!"

Padme quickly placed her hands on her son-in-law's shoulders. "Han, at least _try_ to calm down a bit."

"Oh, my babies are comin' and you expect me to calm down??" Han snapped.

Padme tilted her head towards her daughter. "Well, Leia's doing a pretty good job."

"That's different. She's got the Force." Han sniffed. "I don't think _you _were very calm during _your_ labor."

Padme sighed, glancing at the floor as her stomach turned.

She felt Han gripping her shoulder. "I'm sorry," he muttered, driving her to look back up and see the honesty in his eyes. "Guess this isn't easy for you either, huh?"

"No...not really," Padme said softly.

Leia sucked in her breath, once more interrupting conversation. Her sweaty face was reflecting a bit of the light, her teeth were ground, her arms stretching by her side. She seemed to go a few long seconds without breathing before she finally exhaled, her lips pursing.

Nia gently rubbed the princess's face with a small towel. "It's getting close now. They should be out in another hour or two."

"An HOUR or TWO???" Han exclaimed, looking like he was sweating even harder than Leia.

"Babies take time, Dad," Nia said with a slightly mischievous smile.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The hour that followed proved to be the longest hour in the universe. Padme had finally convinced Han to sit down on the empty bed next to her, where they could watch Leia without interfering with the doctors. Her contractions were steadily becoming more frequent and intense, but there was still no sign of the babies coming out. Han was breathing as heavily as Leia was, his fingers twitching in his lap. Padme tried massaging his back, but that did little good to ease his tension. He kept staring almost unblinkingly at his wife and her rotund abdomen that would house his children for only a little while longer.

"Breathe, Leia," Nia was instructing. "Try to breathe evenly."

Leia's mouth broke into a small smile up at the doctor, her head slowly nodding. Despite her pained condition, her eyes conveyed serenity and happiness. "It's soon...I can feel it...it's soon..."

Nia returned the smile. "Yes, it's soon."

The smile spread to Padme and even Han. He clutched his mother-in-law's arm in excitement. "It's soon..." he breathed.

But a horrific scream from Leia broke the reverie. Han shot up from the bed and rushed to Leia's side so quickly that Padme would have sworn she missed the actual movement when she blinked.

"Leia, Leia, Leia, what is it??" Han cried, one hand on her forehead and the other hand squeezing her fingers.

Leia only screamed again, her face wrinkled, her back arching, her eyes producing large tears that streamed towards her ears.

"Leia, c'mon, talk to me here!!!" Han shouted. "TALK TO ME!!!"

Leia's screams didn't waver, disturbing all eardrums.

"Something's wrong!" Nia shouted. "Something's wrong!"


	48. Chapter 48

"My Mother"

By EsmeAmelia

AN: Thanks as always to the reviewers! We're almost finished...almost finished...almost finished.

Oh, and to Smithy (I have to post the response here because you reviewed without logging in and didn't leave an email address), I know Chewie doesn't speak like a human. When I use English words for his speech, they are _translations _that only Han and/or Padme can understand. A lot of SW authors do that.

Chapter 48

Luke jolted out of the doze he'd drifted into while sitting in the waiting room, awakened by a tremor in the Force. At first he couldn't identify what it was, but as his awareness returned he realized it was his sister in pain - and not regular labor pain either. He heard Leia screaming inside his head, saw her tear-stained scrunched in torment, red from crying out. Her suffering communicated to his soul, as if he were engrossed in a story and experiencing the characters' turmoil.

Luke shot out of his seat and instantly broke into a run towards the turbolift, his mind full of panic for his sister and his unborn nieces or nephews.

"_No Luke! No!"_

It took all of Luke's willpower to cease his running and listen to the voice of Obi-Wan, though the image of his sister suffering was pulsing in his head, crying for help. "Why not, Ben?" he said in a fragile whisper.

"_She doesn't need you. You will only interfere." _

"How could I interfere?"

"_LUKE!"_ Obi-Wan's voice shouted. _"You have to trust me here. Trust the Force."_

"But Ben, the Force showed me..." He was cut off when he felt the intangible warmth of Obi-Wan's ghost hand on his shoulder, giving him unseen pushes, guiding him back to the chair.

"_Do not let fear drive your actions,"_ he said, his form still invisible to Luke's eyes.

Luke finally sat down, struggling to give a small nod. He gulped as he looked around the waiting room. Chewie was the only other occupant, and he was sound asleep on one of the couches. It passed through Luke's mind to wake him up, but he quickly decided against it. Chewie probably wouldn't listen to claims that the Force didn't need him.

He tried in vain to listen to his own breathing, to let the Force ease his pain. Leia's screaming continued to call to his mind, her torture refusing to wane, soon joined by a question of similar weight crushing his spirit.

Why was the Force showing him this if he was supposed to do nothing?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Their umbilical cords got tangled up during labor, blocking the incoming nourishment," Nia was explaining rapidly between breaths. "They're competing for oxygen." She blinked rapidly, her worried face staring directly at Han. "I'm afraid that if their cords don't get untangled, neither one will survive the birth."

Han ferociously grabbed her shoulders. "Well you gotta be able to do something, right??? RIGHT???"

Nia sighed, pushing herself out of Han's grasp. "Yes, we can perform an operation that might save one of them."

"MIGHT??? ONE???" Han screamed. He grabbed her shoulders again, shaking her with a violence he rarely used. "Look lady, YOU'RE TALKIN' ABOUT MY KIDS HERE!!"

A frazzled Nia shoved Han's body away from hers. "Han, don't you think I understand your pain here?? I'm a doctor, but I'm still a mortal - I can't work miracles. I can only offer you this bit of hope for one of your children."

"AND WHY CAN'T YOU SAVE BOTH OF 'EM???" Han shouted hysterically, his eyes producing hot tears of anger.

Nia sighed again. "The surgery would involve cutting one of the umbilicals early. The child with the prematurely-cut umbilical likely will not survive the birth, but it would save the other one."

The other two doctors were now approaching the still-screaming Leia, taking hold of her sides. One of them held a syringe containing a liquid Han guessed to be anaesthetic, moving it towards her arm.

"NO!!!" Leia yelled, thrashing her body out of their grasp. "NO!!! NO!!! I WON'T LET YOU KILL MY BABY!!!"

"If we don't do this, _both_ your babies will die!" the doctor with the needle said. "I understand your pain, but please try to think logically about it."

"There...has...to...be...another...way..." Leia whimpered.

"I'm sorry, Leia, I really am, but there isn't," the doctor said gently. She lowered the syringe to inject Leia's arm.

Before the needle could touch her, Leia's hand flicked up, grabbed the syringe, and threw it across the room, shattering the vial when it hit the floor.

"I'll get that," Nia said quickly, grabbing a rag to clean up the mess.

The doctor who had the syringe stretched her face in shock. "Leia, we can't have behavior like that, even when someone is traumatized. You could have hurt someone!"

"All right," the other doctor said forcefully, gripping Leia's thrashing arm and pushing it down. "If you don't want this with anesthetic, we'll have to perform it without. We _need_ to do this if you don't want them both to be stillborns."

"NOOOO!" Leia cried, her body refusing to cease its struggle. "NO! NO! NO! NO!!!!!"

Meanwhile Han slumped back on the opposite bed, his energy to protest drained. His wife's screams seemed to be fading in his head, her image blurring in front of his eyes. They were really going to do it...they were going to kill his child...

No...this wasn't happening...this was a dream. He was only dreaming it...he _had_ to be...the Force would never be so cruel as to inflict a reality as painful as this on anyone...

He felt Padme's hand on his shoulder, but he lacked the strength to respond in any way. His every breath came out fighting obstructions in his nose and mouth, his eyes drenched his face with him only slightly aware of it. It seemed as though he had left his body, his spirit trying in vain to communicate with the world and finding a permanent block between them.

He felt Padme's arms pushing him towards her, his head involuntary leaning into her chest as she stroked his back. The sobs heaving out of him and into his mother-in-law's clothes soon blocked out all external sounds, even those made by his wife. Had they done it? Were they doing it now? He didn't want to know...not now, not ever. He wanted to spend eternity in this darkness, his mother protecting him from the outside world.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Padme's body wanted to shake as she watched the doctors preparing to operate on her daughter, but she fought the urge with all the will she had, willing herself to stay strong for her children, yet with her daughter's screams and her son-in-law's sobs pouring into her ears, the ability to do so was waning.

"Can't do this..." Han whimpered through his cries. "Can't do this...they...can't...do...this..."

The ambassador ached to offer him some comforting words, but she found no words that could ease this pain. Her own eyes began to moisten, distorting her daughter's image.

"Padme?"

Padme blinked, trying to clear her tears without removing her embrace from Han. Between the little milliseconds of blackness, a ghostly image gradually materialized in front of her, glowing in all the radiance she had seen in him before.

"An..."

"Shh," Anakin quickly said. "Don't say anything - you're the only one here who can see me. You can speak to me in your thoughts."

Padme breathed deeply, attempting to think in sentences. _Ani, our grandchildren are dying._

"I know," Anakin said, brushing his spirit finger down Padme's cheek. "Padme, listen carefully. It's not too late to save them. If we work together, you and I can save both of them."

Padme felt as if she had been lifted into her husband's loving arms that filled her with so much joy. _We can? How?_

Anakin's face scrunched, as if he were embarrassed to be here. "Padme, I need your help for this."

_Of course, Ani, I'll do anything! What do you need me to do?_

Anakin looked like he was swallowing, his eyes fixed on his wife in seriousness. "I need...a _body."_

Padme felt her eyes drying and expanding. _What?_

"Someone who trusts me," Anakin continued, once more stroking Padme's cheek with that formless warmth. "Someone who'd be willing to let me inhabit their body for a little while."

Padme closed her eyes, her breath breaking up, listening to Han crying as she tried to give herself the courage for this. Her insides stirred violently. He was her husband...her _husband..._of course she trusted him...but did she trust him enough for this...even if it might save her grandchildren? To let him _inhabit_ her body...control it? A flash of the Darth Vader mask skimmed her head, its empty eyes staring at her. No...no...Vader was gone. She slowly opened her eyes, once more staring at her beautiful husband.

"Padme, I wouldn't ask you to do this unless it were the only possible way," Anakin said gently. "You know that."

Padme nodded slowly, unsure if she was nodding merely in confirmation of her husband's statement or because she was agreeing to what he had asked of her.

"Padme listen, there's no more time!" Anakin continued, his voice growing more desperate. "It won't harm you, I promise."

_All right,_ Padme thought with so much intensity that it felt like she was speaking it. _I'll do it._

"Wash your hands. Quickly!" Anakin's ghost instructed.

Padme carefully but swiftly pushed Han's sobbing body off of her. "Han, I'm going to the refresher," she said hastily, standing up without checking to see if he had heard her. She only caught a glimpse of him flopping down on the mattress before she rushed into the adjacent refresher.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

She felt like she was taking too long a time washing her hands, but as she didn't know exactly _what_ Anakin would make her do, she didn't want to risk passing any germs to her daughter or her grandchildren. The warm water felt like a river replenishing her soul. Her husband stayed next to her, making sure she didn't use any seconds more than needed.

"That's enough," said Anakin, after which Padme turned around and faced her husband, breathing as if she were about to enter a bizarre alternate reality.

"I'm ready, Ani," she whispered.


	49. Chapter 49

"My Mother"

By EsmeAmelia

AN: Whoa, very nearly done here. I want to offer a huge thank-you to everyone who's taken the time to review. I know I don't always respond, but I greatly cherish every review I get. Okay, now for a weird and angsty chapter.

Chapter 49

It was as if a bright, warm light had found its way into Padme's body - a light that felt completely new, and yet familiar. The light filled her, merging with her soul until the two of them were nearly indistinguishable from each other. Every moment ever spent with her husband flowed through her blood. She could still see the outside world...but she felt that her eyes were being shared. Her body was her own...but it was also a shell for someone else, a house in which the two of them were living in comfort. The other being was formless, indistinguishable, and yet she _knew_ him. Anakin...Anakin...Anakin...he was there...closer to her than he had ever been before.

Her hand reached up without her giving any sort of command to do so, yet no fear entered her head. She felt her fingers stroking the jappor snippet she wore around her neck, but the excitement of finally touching it again was not hers. Yet she could _feel_ Anakin's excitement when their souls had bonded.

_We don't have much time,_ Anakin's voice said inside her head.

_Right,_ Padme thought. Her spirit willingly drifted to the back of her head, a mere observer of what her body was doing, allowing Anakin to steer her out of the refresher to their daughter.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"NOOOO!" Leia was still screaming, thrashing her body around, dodging the scalpels the doctors were holding. "YOU CAN'T CUT ME OPEN, YOU CAN'T KILL MY BABY!!" Logic was banished from her head, all she could see was a child's face writhing in death by their hands. Her eyes burned from producing tears, yet more of them continued to fall.

"We're going to have to force the anesthetic into her," she heard Nia say.

"Well if you have an idea on how to do that, by all means tell me!" another doctor's voice said in a highly frustrated tone.

Contraction upon contraction seemed to be pushing on Leia, the pain conquering her mind and body. She felt her children inside of her, the Force carrying their vicious struggles to her senses. They were choking, life draining out of them, consumed by death before given the chance for life...

"STOP THIS RIGHT NOW!"

Padme's voice silenced everyone in the room, even Leia. Her mother sprinted up to her, quickly grabbing her hand. "Leia, it's all right, I'm here to help you."

Leia blinked rapidly, gradually bringing her surroundings into focus. She saw Padme, a look of determination that seemed to surpass anything Leia had seen before on her face, and behind her there was Han, sitting on the opposite bed, his tear-stained face wearing a mixture of hope and confusion. For the smallest of moments there was that childlike faith that her mother would help her - before the tingle of fear crept into her mind. Something was wrong...she could sense it.

"Padme," Nia said, "I know you want to comfort your daughter, but could you please give us a little room?"

"No," Padme said ferociously. "I'm here to save my grandchildren."

Han held his breath, the three doctors looked at each other in confusion, but Leia barely noticed any of it. The alarm in her mind was growing louder, her Force senses reaching out and finding not her mother's Force signature, but someone else's - someone else she recognized. Her mind saw him - saw him gripping her on the Death Star...mercilessly watching as her planet exploded...

"STAY AWAY FROM ME!!!!" she yelled with a volume of which she previously thought herself incapable.

"Leia..." Nia whispered in shock.

With what little strength she had, Leia pointed a hateful finger at the figure who looked like Padme. "That's not my mother...get it away from me..." Her voice grew more hysterical with every word. "He took over my mother's body to get to my children...he wants my babies...don't let him near me..." She didn't care if she sounded insane - she _knew_ what she was feeling. His presence spoke so strongly to her that she could almost see the black mask on her mother's face. She covered her stomach with her arms as if that would protect her children.

"Leia...what are you talkin' about?" Han said, his words shaking.

Leia once more lifted her trembling finger to point at the figure everyone else thought was Padme, her ability to speak calmly destroyed a long time ago. "I feel him...he took over her body...DARTH VADER!!!"

Whatever sanity her mind still had now wondered what everyone would say. Would Han laugh? Would the doctors diagnose that she had lost her mind? Perhaps they were right...perhaps in the trauma of losing her babies she was hallucinating...but how could the Force be a hallucination? Her womb contracted again, sucking life out of her children and shoving another scream out of her mouth.

Han actually didn't laugh or make any claims that she was crazy. He stiffly rose and walked over to his wife, his eyes large, round balls in danger of falling from their sockets, desperately trying not to believe his wife. "Leia...are you serious?" he whispered.

Leia nodded frantically, thrashing her head against the pillow, rattling the back of the bed, hardly seeing Padme's body turning to face Han.

"Well Han, what she said is partly true," the figure said in Padme's voice, driving knives into Leia's heart with every word. "Yes, I am Anakin Skywalker. My wife has let me into her body temporarily - and willingly."

"What the hell kinda crazy game is this???" Han yelled, grabbing onto Padme's - Anakin's - arm.

"This 'crazy game,' Captain Solo, would be saving your children."

Han bared his teeth. "Whoever the hell you are, get your damn ghost OUT OF HERE!!!"

Padme/Anakin shoved Han's arm aside. "We don't have time for this, Han. In only a minute or two your babies will be dead - unless you let me take care of them." Padme's figure didn't wait for any sort of response, rather it approached Leia, placing its hand on her belly.

"DON'T TOUCH ME, YOU BASTARD!!" Leia screamed through her cracking throat.

Padme's body sighed. "Leia, listen to me," it said between breaths. "The past has scarred you for a very good reason. If I could change it I could, but I can't." The voice was breaking up, as if struggling not to cry. "All I can do is offer your children a future. I know it's difficult, Leia, but you have to trust me."

Leia felt like a hot flame was burning inside her eyes. She threw her head back, unwilling to look at her mother's body drained of its soul. "I can't...I can't...I can't..." she gasped out between sobs. "Monster...murderer..."

"And _father,_" Padme's voice said. "Leia, do you think it's easy for _me_, having to look at everything I've done, to have your suffering pressing down on me for eternity?? Imagine that, Leia, IMAGINE it!"

Something was reaching inside her, prying her open with a gentle manner, trying to minimize the pain, but for Leia it was as if a vicious beast was clawing her apart, pushing more terror-filled cries out of her mouth. She tried to find her babies with the Force, but all concentration had been sucked from her soul.

"Leia, you _have_ to trust me!" the voice pleaded in a desperate tone. "For the sake of your children!" The hands continued to reach under her skin, with her mind receiving the sensation of those rough gloves failing to hide the hardness of those metal hands. "The Force is strong with you, Leia. Use it now. Let it calm you. Release yourself."

Leia squeezed her eyes shut, the Force doing nothing except screaming to her soul that Vader was trying to reach her children. Her breath broke up, her lungs straining for air as much as her children were. "I can't...I can't...I can't..."

"_Leia, sweetheart, listen to him." _

She couldn't comprehend that a familiar voice was speaking to her - a voice she had ached to hear again. It was as if all her senses had been lost and yet she herself was still conscious, lost in only the knowledge that Vader was here, grasping her body and soul, her children at the mercy of he who caused nothing but suffering.

"_Leia, trust your father." _

_Father._ The word erupted like a geyser in her soul, letting her hear the voice in her darkness.

"_You_ are my father," she hissed. "My _only _father."

Bail Organa's image flashed in the world behind Leia's eyelids, his eyes driving into her spirit._ "Leia darling, I love you like a daughter, you know that. You will always be my daughter to me, but the fact remains that you also have a real father."_ His image faded away, but his voice remained. _"Listen to your father. Trust him." _

A wave of intangible energy seemed to be flowing into her womb from an outside source, reaching for her babies, but her reflexes blocked it, harnessing her remaining energy, creating a Force shield from Vader's power.

"_No Leia! No!"_

This voice was that of a woman, unrecognizable and yet carrying a warmth about it, its accent conveying motherly affection, though Leia was sure she had never heard it before.

"_Leia, I am Shmi Skywalker, your grandmother. Trust my son, Leia, trust my son!" _

The ghostly image of a woman swirled into her darkness. _"Leia, you know who he really is. I see it. I'm begging you, my granddaughter, don't give in to your fear."_

Leia let her center of consciousness slide down to her womb, feeling the shield she had put up, dying children on one side and invasion on the other. "I can't..." she whimpered, "...I can't..."

"_YES YOU CAN," _the voice demanded. _"The past can't haunt you forever, Leia. It haunts my son enough." _

Leia sobbed, feeling death creeping into her womb, herself helpless to stop it.

"_Let go, Leia. LET GO."_

As if she were preparing to jump into icy water, Leia ground her teeth in determination, grunting like a wild animal. She exhaled loudly, releasing the shield within her, though she didn't know how or why she was doing so. Her mind whirled back through the last nine months, repeating her mother's words, all their painful conversations about her father, the face in R2's holograms, the man under the mask, before the mask, _without_ the mask.

_My father..._

The burst of energy from Anakin's spirit filled her womb, wrapping up her children, taking them into his hands. For a few still seconds, Leia felt nothing, none of her spirit, nor Anakin's, nor her babies'...then everything came rushing into her like an ocean wave, unidentifiable at first, but then becoming glorious life. _Life._

Life.

Her babies.

No longer in danger.

Alive.

_Alive!_

She finally dared to open her eyes, finding herself looking up at the face of her mother that carried the spirit of her father, now the savior of her children. He smiled at her through Padme's lips. _Smiled_ at her. Even stranger, she felt herself smiling back, somehow gaining the energy to do so. Death Star...Alderaan...Bespin...it all still existed...nothing could stop them from existing...yet now the present was suffocating the past.

Anakin used Padme's body to lean over and kiss his daughter's forehead - a kiss filled with pride and parental love.

From _both_ her parents.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Padme felt Anakin's spirit lifting itself out of her, herself once more alone in her body, but the smile Anakin had given her face remained. She felt like her senses had been enlightened, as if she had gotten a taste of higher consciousness from meditating. Part of her felt relieved to have complete control of her body back, but another part felt a strange sadness that she would never feel that sort of bond with her husband again.

She looked up at Nia, whose face had gone white and looked like she was in danger of fainting. The doctor had a hand on her chest, as if trying to stop herself from having a heart attack.

"How...how...how..." she stuttered.

As gently as she could manage, Padme put a hand on Nia's shoulder. "It's all right, Nia. I'm back now. It's Padme again."

"P-P-Padme...what just happened?"

Padme smiled at the doctor. "I'll explain later. Right now I think Leia needs you."

"Oh...right," Nia said, as if she had forgotten she was in a hospital assisting with a birth, but she quickly regained her medical stance. She eyed the other two doctors, who looked as flabbergasted as she was. "Well girls, what are you standing there for? We've got a job to do."

She sprinted away from Padme and up to Leia, placing a hand on her forehead. "Well Leia, it's time. Are you ready?"

"Yes!" Leia squealed, her smile unwavering.

"All right then. On my signal, I want you to start pushing."

Meanwhile Padme found Han sitting on the other bed, staring ahead at his wife without reacting to anything. His face was pale, his body trembling, looking so fragile that it seemed that he would topple over if Padme so much as laid a fingertip on him.

She gently sat down next to her son-in-law, taking caution to be slow, concerned that he might faint if she surprised him. "Han, it's all right now."

Han didn't speak or give any sort of acknowledgment of the outside world. He continued to stare ahead as if he were hypnotized - Padme couldn't even hear him breathing.

"Han?" she said, a hint of concern in her voice.

Leia grunted loudly and forcefully, seeming to snap Han out of the trance. He leapt to his feet and dashed to Leia's side, apparently never noticing his mother-in-law sitting next to him. "Leia, Leia, are you all right?" he gasped, grabbing her hand.

Leia's face was scrunched, her face drenched in sweat, but she managed to growl, "Yes, Han," before pushing again.

Han jerked his head up to face the doctors. "Are _they_ all right now?" His voice carried the uncertainty of a child asking about scary things in the dark.

"Yes, Han," Nia said between loud breaths. "No, I don't understand why either, but they are."

Padme stood up and headed for Han's side. A large smile was slowly forming on his face, his eyes producing more tears as he grabbed his mother-in-law's arm. "What...whatever it was you did, it worked."

Padme smiled at him. "I didn't do anything, Han. It was Anakin." She playfully pinched his cheek. "By the way, he says he's sorry about the whole Bespin thing."

A deafening groan from Leia prevented Han from answering. Her teeth were grinding into each other, sweat drizzling down her face like raindrops.

"Push, Leia, PUSH!" Nia commanded.

Padme and Han both held their breaths as Leia gave the final push, giving an impossibly long growl that only ended when an infant's cry echoed around the room, a sound barely comprehended by the room's occupants. It had happened, it was there, it was _real._ Padme gave fleeting glances at the tiny body Nia was cleaning, but she made care to not look at it for too long. The parents should be the first ones to really look at it.

"Congratulations!" said Nia, handing a blanketed bundle to a stunned Han. "It's a girl! The other one's coming soon."

The baby in Han's arms seemed to suck away all his ability to breathe or speak. He stared down at the child, giving no notice to the noises Leia was making as she pushed for the second birth. The only sign of life he gave were the tears streaming down his cheeks.

Padme was aching to look at her granddaughter, but it wasn't her place to do so before Leia had gotten a chance, so she turned her attention to her daughter, who was smiling in spite of her physical pain. "A girl..." she forced out between gasps. "We have a girl..."

"Yes, a girl," Padme repeated, unable to say anything more before Leia gave the final push, sending another infant's cry into everyone's ears.

"It's over..." Leia struggled to say as she caught her breath, her eyes pointed in the direction of the second infant Nia was cleaning.

"It's a boy!" she said as she placed the bundle in Leia's arms, after which the princess's eyes immediately began producing fresh tears.

"A boy and a girl..." she murmured, unable to say anything more.

Still cradling his new daughter, Han sat down on the mattress next to his wife, letting her see their daughter while letting himself see their son. They both sat still, all becoming invisible except the little lives they held, emotion too intense to utter even a single word.

Padme finally thought it all right to look at her new grandchildren. She shifted her eyes from her granddaughter to her grandson and back again, trying in vain to take in all of their features. Their wide blue eyes, their thin layers of brown hair...they looked so alike...and yet they were so individual. Her arms were growing hungry to hold them, but she would not disturb this moment that belonged to their parents.

Her mind went back to her own childbirth, the pain both physical and emotional, the devastation at her husband's turning, the sorrow that almost led to her death. She still wasn't sure whether or not she had actually been choosing to die...but did that really matter now? Now she was alive - living a life with a hole, a life where so much had been lost, but even with loss, there was happiness. Even with failure, there was purpose. Even with tragedy, there was still so much to live for. She was not meant to see her children grow up, but now in front of her there were grandchildren, whom she could nurture and care for. And it was all because a Jedi had taken a desperate attempt to save her life so many years back.

"Thank you, Obi-Wan," she whispered.

AN: There will be one more chapter, and it will hopefully be a long one, so keep looking!


	50. Chapter 50

"My Mother"

By EsmeAmelia

AN: Oh...my...God...I...never...thought...I'd...finish...this. I didn't think I was CAPABLE of finishing long stories, but look, here I am. I want to send a HUGE, ENORMOUS thank you to absolutely everyone who reviewed. I probably wouldn't have gotten this far without all the wonderful reader support. THANK YOU ALL!!!

Chapter 50

"Luke! Luke! It's happened! You're an uncle! A girl and a boy!"

Padme's frenzied voice abruptly woke Luke, who couldn't believe he had managed to fall back asleep after feeling Leia's trauma. It was as if Obi-Wan's voice had sedated him, sending him into a peaceful dream of which he remembered nothing except that his father had been present in it. The panic he felt over his sister's suffering had faded away, the Force now communicating peace from her.

"A girl and a boy?" he repeated in a dazed voice, not completely comprehending his mother's statement.

"Yes!" Padme said, nodding so rapidly that she looked like her head was about to snap off. "Come on up and see them!" She scampered up to Chewie's sleeping body. "Chewie, wake up! Come meet Leia and Han's new twins!"

Chewie woke up surprisingly fast, giving a growl of excitement as he jumped to his feet.

"Yes Chewie, they're all fine," said Padme. "Go on up and see them."

Chewie did as he was told, shaking the floor as he ran to the turbolift. Luke supposed he should be following, but his body still felt too numb to move. A twitch in his Force senses was wordlessly speaking to him, telling him that something important had occurred while he slept.

"Father was here, wasn't he?" he whispered, looking straight into his mother's brown eyes.

Padme looked quizzically at him. "Yes Luke...he was..." She took her son's hand and pulled him to his feet. "Come on, I'll tell you about it on the way."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Have you decided on their names yet?" Nia was asking when Padme and Luke entered Leia's room. The new parents were sitting on the bed, each still cradling a little bundle, while Chewie was sitting on the other bed, apparently still unnoticed.

"I think so," said Han. "Unless Leia's havin' second thoughts all of a sudden."

"All right," said Nia. "Boy's name?"

"Jacen Luke Solo," Leia said with elegance in her voice. "His middle name is to honor his uncle."

Nia grinned. "Has a good ring. How about the girl?"

Leia eyed her mother in the doorway before answering, giving a slight wink. "Jaina Amidala Solo."

Nia gave a slight laugh. "Now that's a _beautiful _name if I ever heard one. It's certainly well-deserved."

Leia and Han laughed with her, their faces once more turned down at their children. Han kissed his daughter's downy head while Leia gently grasped her son's tiny hand. Neither one looked like they had recovered from the initial shock of becoming parents - their eyes conveyed wonderment and thankfulness.

Padme was hesitant to interrupt this intimate scene, but there was an introduction to be had. She cleared her throat, which brought only minor attention from the couple.

"Leia, Han," she said, "Luke would like to meet his niece and nephew."

"Well what's he waiting for?" Leia chided.

Luke strode towards the bed. "For you guys to notice me," he said with a grin.

"That might've taken a while with these little guys here," said Han, glancing to the side. "Oh, hey Chewie, how long have you been there?"

Five minutes, growled Chewie. Would you like to introduce your cubs to me now?

"Well...sure buddy, just don't crush 'em." He carefully stood up and hesitantly placed Jaina in the Wookiee's arms. To everyone's surprise, Chewie handled her as if she were a delicate piece of glass, stroking her skin with the smallest of touches.

Meanwhile Leia handed Jacen to his uncle, whose eyes welled up with tears almost immediately. Padme suspected that perhaps it was more than mere emotion from becoming an uncle - it seemed more stemmed out of his senses feeling that they had nearly died.

"Hello Jacen," he murmured. "I'm your uncle Luke." He tickled the baby's belly, making him coo.

"Uncle Luke," Han repeated. "You're gonna have to get used to that title, kid."

Luke was able to pry his eyes away from the baby long enough to look up at Han. "And you're going to have to get used to the title 'Dad.' I imagine that'll be even more difficult." He snickered as Han rolled his eyes, but then he wisely decided to change the subject.

"Leia..." he said so quietly that he could barely be heard, "...Mother told me about what happened."

Leia ran her fingers through her hair. "I'd rather not think about that right now...I mean, I almost lost them..."

"But you didn't," Luke said with a smile.

The new mother reached up and stroked her son's cheek. "No...I didn't...because..." Her eyes squinted and she swallowed a sob, unable to finish her sentence.

Luke leaned over and gently placed Jacen back in his mother's arms. "I understand, Leia." He patted the baby on the head. "I'm proud of you, sister."

Padme felt herself smiling in triumph as she watched the conversation, failing to notice Chewie offering her the baby girl until he growled, Padme, would you like to hold her now?

"Oh...of course I would, Chewie." She allowed Chewie to place the small girl in her arms with only the slightest nervousness, and even that faded away once she looked into the infant's eyes.

Though she was only an hour old, Jaina stared up at her grandmother in complete wonderment, seeming to sense the reason why she was born safely. Her tiny mouth opened and closed as if trying to talk to her.

"Hello Jaina," Padme whispered, carefully placing a finger on the baby's cheek. "I'm your grandmother. Did you ever hear my voice in the womb?"

The baby's blue eyes continued to stare, blinking regularly.

"When you get older, I'll tell you my story," Padme continued. "You'll also learn about how your grandfather saved you and your brother."

Jaina made a small mewing sound, like she was telling her grandmother that she already knew about that.

Meanwhile Leia had started feeding Jacen. She was smiling at her mother getting acquainted with Jaina, but she also gestured with her head, silently telling Padme that Jaina would probably want some food too. With quite a bit of hesitation, the ambassador obeyed her daughter, placing the baby girl in her free arm.

With neither child available to hold, Padme, Luke, Han, and Chewie gathered around the window, noticing that the sun was beginning to come up, sending its glow on the slowly-awakening city, washing away the darkness, introducing a new day to the people and a new life to the family.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

As the day passed, visitors poured into the hospital, eager to meet the new babies and congratulate the parents. Sola was the first to arrive, bringing the droids with her (much to Han's dismay). She also brought two bouquets of flowers, one bearing a note saying, "It's a Girl," and the other bearing a note that said, "It's a Boy."

"They look like their grandmother," she observed, gripping her sister's shoulder.

Padme shrugged. "I'd say they look more like their parents myself."

"Master Han," 3PO was saying, "do you suppose that I could hold your infants for a moment?"

"No," Han said, his eyeballs rolling.

"Oh, but Master Han, if I were to hold them, I would perhaps understand what all the fuss is about. After all I am supposed to have a strong grip on human behavior."

"3PO, if you so much as touch my kids, I'll get you deactivated," Han said, pointing an angry finger at the droid.

"Very well, sir," said 3PO. "I shall see if Mistress Leia will oblige me instead."

Leia grinned. "Well...maybe when they're a bit older."

Han growled.

Meanwhile, R2 was giving excited beeps, rolling around in circles. After a little coaxing from the humans, 3PO translated his enthusiasm, saying that the astro droid wished to record this happy moment.

Han reacted far more favorably to that request.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

A little bit later, Nia brought in Cre, Hella, and Senon to visit the babies, all of whom reacted with a simultaneous "awwww" sound. Each of them wanted a turn holding both the infants. It surprised everyone when the tough street girls Hella and Cre kept gushing about the children as if they were fellow mothers.

"You are adorable, yes you are, yes you are, yes you are," Cre said when she held Jaina, her high voice bordering on an obnoxious tone. She tickled the baby's stomach. "Yes yes yes, you are a sweetie."

Since Senon had already taken her turns holding both babies, she approached the new grandmother. "So Padme...were you really _possessed?" _

Padme gulped, her stomach performing a small flip. She wasn't prepared to explain about her experience, but she supposed Nia hadn't wanted to keep anything from her sister. "Well...I guess you might call it that."

"Weren't you scared?" asked Senon.

Padme shifted her eyes. "I don't think anyone could go through that _without_ being scared, but mostly I felt enlightened...like my husband and I had achieved a level of intimacy neither of us knew we were capable of."

Senon's eyes widened like a schoolgirl finding out the truth about where babies come from. "It sounds really weird."

"It _was_ weird..." affirmed Padme, "...but it was also wonderful."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Jar Jar Binks arrived around the same time as Ryoo and her family did. Both had large bouquets of flowers for the new parents, which made the hospital room look reminiscent of a plant nursery.

"Deysa comin from underwater," said Jar Jar. "Meesa gaterin dem myself."

Leia smiled as she gazed at the long-petaled flowers. "Thank you Jar Jar, they're lovely."

Jar Jar smiled back for the briefest of seconds before noticing Han. "Hannie!" he exclaimed, shuffling up to the father. "Meesa congratulatin you moi moi mucho!" He shook Han's hand with even more vigor than he had when they met. "My bettin yousa mus be moi proud dad!"

Han forced himself to grin. "Yup, I am. But it's _Han._"

Jar Jar gave his toothy grin. "Yousa babies loverly, Hannie."

Ryoo giggled. "You haven't changed much, have you Jar Jar?" She gently sat down on the bed next to Leia, little Padme in her lap. "Look, little Padme, see your new cousins? Someday you can play with them."

Little Padme smiled as she reached her pudgy arms out for the babies, but she couldn't get close enough to touch them.

"She's getting big," observed Leia.

"Yup," said Ryoo. "She can walk now. Savor your newborns, Leia - they grow faster than you imagine."

"_Much_ faster," agreed Padme. "Of course, I don't think they'll grow _quite _as fast for you as you and Luke did for me."

Her wink that followed told everyone it was all right to laugh.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"I wish Pooja could be here," Ryoo was saying as she cradled little Jacen. Little Padme was taking a few wobbly steps next to her, holding onto the bed for support.

"We already commed her," said Leia. "She'll be returning soon to see them."

Han sighed. "So that means we gotta stay here till she can see 'em?"

Leia's attempt to answer was interrupted by a knock on the door of their room. Luke practically flew to answer it, making everyone suspicious of who it was - as well as reawakening their suspicions about Luke's relationship with the figure behind the door.

"Rianna!" Luke exclaimed.

The queen stood in the doorway, her tan face appearing to blush, yet another bouquet of flowers in her arms. "Luke...I got your message about the babies."

"Well what are you standing there for?" Luke said with a grin. "Come on in and meet them."

Rianna stepped into the room, swallowing a couple of times as she approached Han. "Well, congratulations on becoming a father, Han." She handed him the bouquet while glancing around the room. "I guess I'm not the first one to give you these, am I?"

"We've had a few of 'em," said Han.

Rianna turned towards Leia, slowly growing a smile as she watched the princess feed Jaina. "And here's the most fortunate mother in the galaxy." She pranced over to the bed. "Luke told me about what happened in his message."

Leia's eyes lowered to her daughter. "I don't fully understand it either."

Rianna gently sat down next to the mother. "Maybe you don't need to fully understand it. A lot of stuff's happened to me that I don't fully understand."

Leia slowly raised her head back up, her brown eyes meeting the queen's. "I suppose we've both had to come to terms with things involving our fathers lately..."

"Thanks to your mother," said Rianna. She leaned over to get a better look at the baby. "She's beautiful...you must be so thankful to have her and her brother safe."

Leia leaned back, a long sigh escaping her lips. "Yes...yes we are."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Luke was touring the garden outside the hospital, getting some much-appreciated fresh air. He tried to look at the multi-colored flowers and oddly-shaped trees, but no matter how exotic a plant was, it somehow always reminded him of the babies. He still wasn't sure if his feet were actually touching the ground or if his spirit was actually inside his body. Perhaps his spirit was really still in the hospital with his niece and nephew.

Suddenly he ceased walking, sensing another presence a few paces behind him - a presence that was possibly following him. Without waiting to identify the pursuer's Force signature, he snapped his body around.

"Rianna??"

"Oh...Luke..." Rianna stammered.

Luke wasn't sure whether to be angry or flattered. He put one hand on his hip, giving a half-grin to the queen. "Any particular reason why you followed me out here?"

Rianna's fingers awkwardly toyed with her shirt. "Well...I wanted to talk to you...privately."

"What about?"

Instead of answering, she headed towards a stone bench facing a small fountain. She settled herself down on it and gestured for Luke to sit beside her. He did so, but she still gave no answer. The slow trickling of the fountain seemed to have cast a spell on her, muting her eternally and spreading to Luke, making him more and more hesitant to speak. Her eyes seemed to be all he needed right now - conversation would add nothing.

"It was amazing..." Rianna finally murmured, jolting Luke as if he'd been awakened from a sound sleep.

"What was?" he asked in a slightly-dazed voice.

Rianna turned her head, shifting her focus to the fountain. "What happened last night...I had no idea the Force was capable of that..."

"The Force is capable of many things," said Luke, putting his real hand on her shoulder.

Rianna sighed, reaching up and putting her hand on his. "So much destruction can come from it...but also so much good..." She leaned against him, resting her head on his shoulder. "I suppose that's the paradox of life, isn't it?"

Luke's hand slipped back into his lap as he tried to ignore the fact that he wanted to touch her even more - a fact he had been ignoring for weeks. The weight of her head was like a soothing massage, the smell of her hair sweeter than that of the flowers around them.

All of a sudden, the queen raised her head, chilling Luke's shoulder. "I want to learn more about it," she said with a burst of excitement.

The Jedi supposed that he could use any of a thousand different ways to tell her that he would be honored to continue her lessons, but rather than use any of them, he simply nodded, his eyes brightening, a large smile stretching his lips.

He felt Rianna's fingers running down his cheek, feeling the ridges formed by his smile. "I guess that was part of my problem before," she said. "My inability to accept paradoxes."

In an attempt to convey that he wasn't only thinking about how good her touch felt, Luke said, "How do you mean?"

Rianna licked her lips, hiding them for a moment, making her mouth look like only a line. "Well for example, take this paradox." She stroked his cheek with her whole hand. "I spent so long hating you, seeing you only as a killer, but now..."

Her words faded as her face moved closer to his, an almost magnetic attraction pulling them together, finally climaxing in a kiss. Once they realized their lips had met, their arms hungrily squeezed each other, their mouths dancing, their souls touching, washing away all thought except the desire for this moment to linger into eternity.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Around the time that mid-afternoon arrived, the guests had finally departed, letting the family get some desperately-needed rest. Even Chewie opted to return to Sola's house, figuring that the couple would need some time for themselves. It wasn't long before the babies and the new parents were all fast asleep, the children in their bassinets and one parent in each bed. The four carried an image of complete exhaustion, but also of peace.

Although Padme had been up all night, she strangely didn't feel tired, perhaps because Anakin's presence had renewed her energy well enough. So she found herself quite content to watch the family sleep. She had been spending a long time watching the babies, taking in their chests rising and falling, listening to the tiny breaths emitting from their noses. It was especially hard to tell them apart in sleep, yet somehow Padme knew that the one on the left was Jaina and the one on the right was Jacen - and not merely because of the identification bracelets they wore. She wasn't sure how, but she knew it.

Soon she lost track of how long she had been staring at them. Though she had yet to tire of watching her grandchildren, she began to wonder if staring at them might wake them up, which in turn would wake Han and Leia, who were in great need of a long sleep after what they had endured last night. So she opted to force her gaze away from the infants, instead turning it towards the couple.

Leia was breathing steadily, her eyes scrunched, the covers pulled up to her shoulders, barely exposing the red flowers on her hospital gown. She reminded Padme of the very first morning after getting acquainted with her daughter, awakening to find her looking like an angel in her sleep.

Han was lying on his side, an arm outside of the blankets, his mouth slightly open, giving long, deep breaths. His sleeping form triggered memories of the disdain he expressed for being left on the sofa while Padme took his side of the bed. She grinned to think about those times which seemed so close and yet also seemed a lifetime ago.

The door slid open, Padme barely noticing the sound until she heard Luke shouting with uncharacteristic enthusiasm.

"Mother!" he called. "Rianna! She's...she and I...oh Mother...we..."

Padme whirled around to face her son. "Shhh!" she hissed, one index finger over her mouth and another pointing to the beds. She held her breath as she turned back to the parents, praying that Luke hadn't disturbed them. Han snorted and dug his head deeper into the pillow, but he didn't wake. Leia gave no reaction whatsoever.

"Sorry," Luke whispered.

Padme looked back at her son. "Any particular reason why you burst in here acting like a lovesick schoolboy?" she whispered with a large grin.

Luke rolled his eyes. "Maybe you can figure that out?"

Padme gave a whispering snicker. "We all figured you two out a while ago."

Luke's blushing face confirmed that they had all been right.

Padme wrapped her arms around her son. "I'm happy for you and Rianna, Luke."

"So am I," said a voice that seemed to be coming from the air, pulling Padme into a smile so large that her cheeks hurt. Within a second, Anakin's figure materialized in front of them, smiling as widely as Padme was. "Congratulations, Luke."

Luke shoved himself out of the embrace as soon as he heard the voice. "F-F-Father?" he stammered, his eyes growing moist.

Anakin nodded, stroking his son's cheek. "I'm proud of you, my son."

Luke's eyes were wide, scarcely blinking. "Thank you, Father." A tear leaked out of his eye, trickling down his cheek as his father gathered him into an embrace.

Padme wanted to say something, but it seemed that she was muted by the wave of reverence overtaking her. The time spent sharing a body with him would be something she would treasure for the rest of her life, no matter how strange or alien it would sound to others. For her, it had been like a mortal gaining a rare glimpse of the wisdom to be gained from the spiritual world, something usually blocked from those in physical bodies.

The bed creaking and barefoot steps jolted her senses back into the real world. She whipped her head around and saw her daughter out of bed, walking slowly towards the group, one baby in each arm, their blue eyes staring in enthrallment, causing Padme to wonder if the newborns could see Anakin.

"Leia?" said Padme. "I'm sorry, did we wake you?"

"Yes, but it's all right," replied Leia. She gave a smile wider than Padme had ever seen, but it didn't seem directed at her or Luke.

"I want to show the twins to their grandfather," she said.

For a moment Padme was overtaken by complete shock, briefly wondering if she had heard her daughter correctly. But then once she saw that Leia was indeed looking right at Anakin, she felt like she had been whisked into a glorious dream. Her entire body stilled except for her mouth, which was trembling, producing small sobs of joy. Leia could see her father. Without hatred. Without fear.

Anakin was rubbing each child on the head, like he was giving them a spiritual blessing. "They're beautiful, Leia. I sense they have great futures."

Tears were streaming down Leia's cheeks. "I...I don't know what to say..."

Anakin kissed his daughter's forehead. "You say enough just by seeing me." His face began shaking, as if he were just as taken aback as she was. "You have no idea how long I've waited for this..."

The other bed creaking briefly brought all heads to look at it, seeing that Han was awake, sitting on the edge of the bed, the covers still over his lap, his eyes bulged and his pupils tiny. He slowly rubbed each eye, as if suspecting that he was dreaming.

"L-L-L-Leia...is that..."

"Han, could you please hold Jacen?" Leia quickly asked. "My arms are getting tired."

Han stood up and walked towards Leia in slow motion, like he was under a spell. Even after he took the baby boy into his arms, his eyes refused to look at anything except the ghost in front of him.

Anakin smiled at his son-in-law. "Hello Han," he said. "Are you taking care of my daughter?"

Han was breathing noisily, looking a few seconds away from fainting.

"It's all right," continued Anakin. "I imagine this must be a big shock for someone like you." His grin grew more mischievous. "Obi-Wan told me you once called the Force a hokey religion, after all."

Han blinked rapidly, moistening his very dry eyes. "I-I...I guess...maybe I should thank you for savin' my kids and all..."

Anakin nodded. "You're welcome."

Padme patted her son-in-law's arm. "Good job, Han."

Han was still trembling, but tiny hints of a smile began to appear on his lips.

Padme stepped closer to her husband, her soul aching for more time with him. She stared at his eyes, still as beautiful as they had been when alive. "Ani..."

She needed to say nothing more for him to grab her into his warm, intangible arms and his lips to envelope hers, stopping time, sweeping her once more into his love, extinguishing all sense of strangeness. She closed her eyes, absorbing that glorious, timeless moment, not caring if everyone was watching them.

Her eyes reluctantly opened when his lips released her, though his arms still brushed her body with ghostly warmth. His face was relaxed, his smile serene, his eyes shining, as if a heavy weight had finally been lifted from his soul.

"Well done, Padme," he said.

THE END

AN: Wow...finished...sorry, this is a big deal for me - I've never finished a novel-length story before. Well, there MIGHT be a sequel coming. I have some vague ideas for one, but I won't start it until I come up with enough story material. In the meantime, I have other short stories, plus I just started a new long AU, "Father and Son." I will also soon be putting up a "behind the scenes" essay on this story at my SW website (the link is at the bottom of my profile), so keep looking for that.

Love you all! (group hug)

Bye!


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